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Originally Posted by Ithappenstoall

I kept doing that and through out the day as i didnt respond to her she kept pushing more and more. She knew that i felt insecure about how i looked because i would tell her and she used that beautifully to hurt me even more. The stuff she said was utterly childish and just out of pure motive to hurt. Things like I never should have gone out with you, when we first started going out they looked at us and were like what is she doing with her, they would laugh at our pics because they saw how you looked and they thought you were hideous, ugly. Most of my friends thought that of you and I shouldve listened.
that really stung guys

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Those are the words of a seriously insecure girl who is clawing for unsustainable ego boosting by tearing you down.

Yep. It hurt. So let it hurt. And let that p!ss you off and see her real self.

Its one thing to hope your ex wants you and wishes for you. Natural.

It is quite another to talk the way she has talked about you. I've dated a couple of women who were maybe "out of my league"... they never talked to me in this manner, not even in the crash and burn breakups, and if they had, itd surely solidify my resolve to not spend one more minute of attention on them.

A truly grounded person would not need to lash out like she did. Shed just put the past to the past and move on. Instead, she needs an audience to abuse.

Ick.

She is just mean. Its not more complicated than that. Sorry you are hurting. Hope you are able to take in her words, let them spill around for a while, and to channel the hurt and anger into just walking away from a train wreck.

Yup, its all about how we channel things. Embrace all of it.

Then our next move. That's how we become closer to becoming aware.

Let me put it this way, if you anyone else pulled that crap, anyone, you would say screw you. Not worth my time or effort.

You guys are right, and I know this. I just can't stand the pain she did to me, trying to hurt me when I know that all she said is lies and I tried to question her words by saying, who would say such a thing, I wouldve heard something before. This real made it worst for me in the sense of anger and pain

That pain is just in your head, thoughts.

Your brain is signaling. Entering all sorts off stuff. Translating it to more pain. Or whatever you allow.
Its up to you know to control it.

Dude, I dwelled on this one thing that my ex did before she dumped me for a long time. Still enters my head when I let it.

Now. I kind of laugh. Shrug it off. How deceitful it was.
Takes time.

You will get there.

You think that person is decent and that things you shared will remain good and not resort or come to this. The fact of using someone's insecurities to satisfy ones anger is shameful.
The pain is in my head, but what I am feeling is disgust, pure utter disgust. That someone would sink as low as to try and say anything to hurt

So use that disgust my man, Im disgusted too, by your ex.

Vent away.

After you let it, the dust will settle & you can look at this all in a different light.

The key is to enjoy yourself (even if you force yourself) & not dwell too hard.

Those things you neglected for her and others.

Don't neglect any fun opportunities in the process.

Get out. Start learning how to live w/o her. Remember, before?

How insecure are you?! Please stop this. This is getting ridiculous delete her off Facebook of another social network and end your means of communication. This is getting repetitive. Oerson's words should have absolutely no effect on you. Do us all a favor and stop talking to her. I'm sorry Im being rude and upfront but sometimes one needs to be confronted and that is exactly what I am doing. Stop saying that we are right without taking action. Do something, it's all in your hands, you're not handling it right. Get away from her!

Andy made a good post. Speaks to the irish serb temper in me.

Yes... I'm trying to spin a little on the understanding side... but at some point you do have to own the fact that you hurt not because she says mean things, but because you let yourself care about what she thinks of you.

I've lost three Big Loves in my life. The best day after I left? The day I listened to myself, stopped listening to the girl... stopped caring what she thought and wanted... stopped caring if she was missing me or not... et cetera.

So... andy speaks to my p!ssed off mode... where you finally get that you don't have to feel like crap because you don't have to care about what she says or thinks. Its fine you've had time invest and it might have meant something.

But now... right now... she is not interested in you. She's interested in herself.

Get mad. Angry. Frustrated. Sick. And then get tired of being mad and frustrated and angry. It gets boring. Fast. So... what she just said about you? Take it and instead of asking why she would hurt you like that ask who the hell wants to live with that? Spend another minute worry about that?

Expect it to hurt. To have up days and down days. But start to use the absurd thing your ex might say to keep cutting those ties.

In the end, you getting over her is all about you, not her. Don't feel like crap cause its hurting and not easy. But... you need first to stop wanting her, which starts with you seeing her for who she is... not who you think she was or could be... and then you finding your own footing. Sooner than later.

Takes time to stop wanting what you don't have and probably don't really want when you honestly look at how you are treated.

So... if you'd tell a buddy to tell her to P!ss off if he was being berated by her, well... why isn't that good enough for you.

At some point... if you keep caring and keep wondering and keep asking why... well, its because you choose to care for her. Rewire yourself. Walk. Leave. Done.