Ask Me Help Desk - Need some advice

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Originally Posted by darkdays

How could it leave me in worse shape? Just meeting her has already made me happier than I've been in so long.

Good luck, but take it slowly... :)

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Originally Posted by Kitkat22

Good luck, but take it slowly....:)

Ok, thanks

I'm glad things are going well for you darkdays, be patient and keep your head up. Don't rush into this lady you just spoke to and take things slow and really get to know each other. Happy for you man!

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Originally Posted by Showme_urmove

i'm glad things are going well for you darkdays, be patient and keep your head up. dont rush into this lady you just spoke to and take things slow and really get to know eachother. Happy for you man!

Thank you.

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Originally Posted by darkdays

Thank you.

Be sweet.. Good to hear your smiling again! Goodnight!;);)

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Originally Posted by Kitkat22

Be sweet..Good to hear your smiling again! Goodnight!;);)

Thank you, goodnight.

Begging & pleading.

Then a phone number, not too long after. Nice vote of confidence, but.

Decide what exactly it is you want.

You were boo-hooing about family and what not. Your son and rekindling things with your other kids, etc...

Don't make another mistake.

Another woman isn't the answer right now.

But date away.

Just make sure your priorities are in place. So they know why.

Be strong! Look up! Thank God he gave you the things you have. Pray.

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Originally Posted by vanheart

Begging & pleading.

Then a phone number, not too long after. Nice vote of confidence, but.

Decide what exactly it is you want.

You were boo-hooing about family and what not. Your son and rekindling things with your other kids, etc...

Dont make another mistake.

Another woman isnt the answer right now.

But date away.

Just make sure your priorities are in place. So they know why.

I did decide exactly what I want. I tried the whole bit with my ex by trying to get her back by apologizing and telling her I will change and how beautiful of a family we could have together and all that. Like I said, it got me absolutely nowhere, and dealing with this in and out thing for three years, I give up. I just decided to let it go at that, and that is one of the reasons I called and left a message to tell her I moved on in hopes that she won't even try to come back in time this time. I've had enough.
Then, when I saw this other woman, I just decided to go for it. What the hell would I need time for? Im not the one that doesn't know how to have a serious committed relationship, it's my ex that can't do that. And why give time to get over it? It's done! That's it, and she even made that clear, so any feelings that were all part of that relationship are now invalid and useless to hold onto if the relationship is dead. So, no time to move on like the present.
When my ex-wife used to leave and come back multiple times during our marriage. After the final time of that back in 2006, I met my ex-girlfriend 2 weeks after and never looked back.
These type of women that you give your all to over and over and sacrifice your own pride, heart and soul, that just keep putting you through it are not worth the time of day. There comes a point when you realize that, just like I did yesterday, I had enough.
Yeah, you can say that I boo-hooed. I tried to save a family. And I went to all extents to do so, so don't act like I need to be careful or that I need to get my priorities straight. And I tried not only for myself, but my child as well. She was impossible, so now she can be responsible for that for now on, and I wash my hands of it.

Glad you came to that realization.

Hey don't get your feathers ruffled. Just trying to help.

Like you said, you met your ex 2 weeks after your ex-wife.

And yes, I do think its about priorities. And learning from both successes & mistakes. To not repeat them.

That's all.

Here's some quotes from your OP:

"Everything in my life is so messed up"

"Nothing ever seems to go right"

"I just don't understand why everything is such a mess"

"Everything gets worse and worse and Im always depressed"

Our lives are our own. No one else's. Its all about the decisions we make. All based on learning from the past.

To make ourselves better.

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Originally Posted by vanheart

Glad you came to that realization.

Hey dont get your feathers ruffled. Just trying to help.

Like you said, you met your ex 2 weeks after your ex-wife.

And yes, I do think its about priorities. And learning from both successes & mistakes. To not repeat them.

Thats all.

Heres some quotes from your OP:

"Everything in my life is so messed up"

"Nothing ever seems to go right"

"I just don't understand why everything is such a mess"

"Everything gets worse and worse and Im always depressed"

Our lives are our own. No one else's. Its all about the decisions we make. All based on learning from the past.

To make ourselves better.

We're all trying to help dark days and we spend time here trying to pull people through bad times. Van's only trying to help and so am I!:)

Right Vanheart, it is all about learning and making better decisions. It's not that I made bad ones before, you can't always tell what a person is going to do in time to come or what unexpected events may happen either. But whether in my marriage, or with my ex-girlfriend, my heart was in it for the duration, and I believe in working out problems and committing myself to that one person for the duration. When I say forever, it's forever. It's not a word I take lightly. But, when the other decides it's done for them, there is only so much you can do. Now, I think I deserve huge credit for not only looking out for my children to maintain a family life for them, but also taking on any and all blame and losing a lot to maintain the relationship. Now, maybe I shouldn't have given in as much as I did, that could have been a mistake. It seems it only enabled them for them to take advantage, but, my heart was in the right place, while theirs were not.
So after giving it my all to the fullest extent down to the last wire, and it still didn't work out, it was just time to say goodbye to the old and move on immediately.
Luckily, and not to be arrogant, I still have the charm, looks, and confidence to find someone new. And hopefully, that person will be worthy of what I have to offer.

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Originally Posted by Kitkat22

We're all trying to help dark days and we spend time here trying to pull people through bad times. Van's only trying to help and so am I!:)

I know that, and you all have helped tremendously. Don't take what I said to offence. I was simply explaining myself.
I enjoy my experience on here.

Im sure you do.
And your intentions are yours. But not everyone is meant to be together.
Want what you want or you.

Its more about being aware for the next time.

While you are using your charm, use your gut.

And yes, there's lots of amazing people out there. Just make sure.

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When my ex-wife used to leave and come back multiple times during our marriage. After the final time of that back in 2006, I met my ex-girlfriend 2 weeks after and never looked back.

Seems your repeating that pattern again. Will you be getting her pregnant too?

Quote:

Originally Posted by vanheart

Im sure you do.
And your intentions are yours. But not everyone is meant to be together.
Want what you want or you.

Its more about being aware for the next time.

While you are using your charm, use your gut.

And yes, theres lots of amazing people out there. Just make sure.

Of course. When I met my ex-girlfriend, I noticed she didn't have any of the flaws of my ex-wife, so at the time I thought she would be a good choice. Then after three months together, she got pregnant with our son. It wasn't until then that I saw some of the deeper dark things about her. She knew she had me hooked because of being pregnant with my child. And I put up with a lot.
So anyway, of course I have learned from that experience. First thing, Im definitely not going to get someone else pregnant, no matter if they want to have my child or not. I think four is enough, and Im already disappointed that none of them have their own family anymore. And of course any signs that show me anything weird about them.

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Originally Posted by talaniman

Seems your repeating that pattern again. Will you be getting her pregnant too?

Of course not.

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Originally Posted by darkdays

Of course. When I met my ex-girlfriend, I noticed she didn't have any of the flaws of my ex-wife, so at the time I thought she would be a good choice. Then after three months together, she got pregnant with our son. It wasn't until then that I saw some of the deeper dark things about her. She knew she had me hooked because of being pregnant with my child. And I put up with alot.
So anyway, of course I have learned from that experience. First thing, Im definitely not going to get someone else pregnant, no matter if they want to have my child or not. I think four is enough, and Im already disappointed that none of them have their own family anymore. And of course any signs that show me anything weird about them.

I think one was enough. Get your head together. Those four kids need stability in their lives. Use a condom.:(

Its about you. First.

Dig into that. Before your next move.

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Originally Posted by Kitkat22

I think one was enough. Get your head together. Those four kids need stability in their lives. Use a condom.:(

Don't worry, I definitely will. I've lost my trust in women to be stable enough to have a family with.