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-   -   Scared I am screwing up (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=378843)

  • Jun 9, 2010, 03:33 PM
    jmjoseph

    LJDK disagrees : Your emotional reaction has delivered 0 constructive advise.

    You ask for help, and when someone gives you a straight answer, you give them a "reddie" for the trouble.

    You do realize that the "disagrees" is for factually incorrect information only. Read the rules please. You've been here long enough to know that. People get attitude reddies all the time. What good does that do? Debate the point here on the board, if you think that I was wrong. I'd like to hear it.

    And by the way, my answer was pertaining to how a man should be feeling on the final steps to marriage. It was not meant to be taken personally, but I see that it struck a nerve. It was not an "emotional reaction". It's not MY sister that you are already planning to cheat on. I wonder how far you and that other girl have already gone. " Almost getting it on..."

    And as far as the "0 constructive advice". Did you think that any answer here was going to magically turn you into the man that you should be when you ask a woman to be your bride? That's not going to come from here. That takes time.

    You ask a question like this one, be ready to swallow the views from all angles. Don't be so thin skinned.

    "We decided to stop talk talking to each other after almost getting it on."

    "Is this normal? I dont know if i should tell me GF."

    Yes, tell your girlfriend that you almost had sex with this woman.

    She deserves to know the real you.
  • Jun 9, 2010, 04:08 PM
    Tired10
    LJDK

    Ok shoe on the other foot. How would you feel if she told you that she is happy to marry you BUT she cannot commit to not having sex with other men, and that being faithful is simply something created by society to instil conflict?

    What does marriage mean to you? It seems like you want a very serious commitment from her and none from yourself with regards to infidelity.

    If I sound harsh it is because I simply cannot believe that you are considering getting married with those thoughts and beliefs in your head.

    EDIT: I just noticed that you do not wished to be judged, well maybe I did that a little. However you simply want someone's opinion that agrees with your own to justify your own thoughts/beliefs?
  • Jun 9, 2010, 05:22 PM
    jmjoseph
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by LJDK View Post
    So what your saying is, that no one ever thinks about cheating before they get married and statistics lie that most couples cheat before marraige and 1 year after marraige?

    Can you show the poll, or study, that these "statistics" are supposedly coming from?

    Marriage.
  • Jun 9, 2010, 11:47 PM
    LJDK

    Thx.
    That made sense. And it is actually helping me get my mind set right.
  • Jan 7, 2011, 06:42 AM
    LJDK

    Hello.
    So the date to get married is in 2 weeks.
    Just want to say thank you to everyone who contributed. I have learned a lot, and have grown a lot over the months.

    We are now both ready for this and things are going well. There are certain aspects I disagree with on this site. Mostly the majority of opinions are riddled with negativity.

    But there are also some good advise here. And I thank you all for that. Have a good one. Thx again. If I did not have this forum we might not have made it through this rocky start of a relationship.

    Can't wait to get this wedding day over though. Stress stress stress.


    Edit : also I just browsed through all the stuff I said in this thread. When I look at it I can't even believe that was me. Wow. Bit confused. But it should serve as a reminder of what not to be.

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