Originally Posted by
pslayne2233
Hi Starry Nights,
I appreciate your response. You, like Winding 200, are quite perceptive in your analysis. I did take the NC approach in giving both my ex and I some time to reflect on our relationship, in hopes that she would see the respect and love I have displayed. One issue I believe you are overlooking is that she broke off a wedding and an engagement. Also I do agree with you that the party I asked her to accompany me with, did cause her to overreact with jealousy and rage, but what I was thinking was we were together a full year since the first party, so lets work together through her insecurities, making our relationship stronger. Coincidentally, not one of my ex's were there, making this issue even sadder and unnecessary.
I wouldnt say that I was using NC as a manipulation but protection. Again, she broke off a wedding and when asked why, she replied because I didnt tell her not to..??? She also changed her phone number and moved to a place somewhere I couldnt reach out to her, all just two weeks after our breakup..??? Initially, I tried everything with no avail. What was I to do?? I also feel I did the ultimate act of respect and love to her, I let her go like she asked. I gave up my life for her. Of course I still love her, but she did the unthinkable and I have to protect myself. I dont want her to come back begging but to say she made a mistake and she wants to work at getting back what we lost. This was her decision not mine, I didnt have a say in this matter. I tried to get her back, I wrote long emails professing my mistakes and how much love I had for her, I went to her work asking to talk and forgiveness, I went to her old address, pleading and crying to give it one more shot. My effort went unnoticed. Do you really think she still has feelings for me???? All of her actions from the start of our breakup til now indicates absolutely not. You are correct when you say I am nowhere near
wanting the end of our relationship, but unfortunately have to accept its over. The wedding day is a month away and that is the last obstacle I have to hurdle to really start the healing process, admittedly its killing me. So as to the NC, it was a bifold attempt to protect myself and hopefully have her want our relationship back.
In regards to me giving it one more shot at reconciliation, I feel it is her move. She gave me the old cliche--"If you love someting let it go if it comes back its yours if not it was never meant to be" mix that with the humiliation of the restaurant scene and her breaking off a wedding, clearly it is her responsibility to make a move. I dont expect one. So if it appears Im being stubborn and egotistic, I have a right to be. What she has done and doing is selfish and mean and I dont need that.
Finally, its not that I dont respect what Tal, Amicon and the others say, its just that it was somewhat harsh but true thats all. Winding 200 supplied a more gentle and thorough interpretation of the matter, ones I fully appreciate her kindness and patience for.
Thanks to all,
pslayne2233