So I leave for my trip tonight. Getting excited! BUt not really. I had a pretty solid sleep though. My friend took me out for my birthday dinner last night and that was nice. I still don't get ithis break up thing though. ( I know tiger you'll probably want to shake me)lolbut.. I think the thing that gets me the most is that we are not on good terms. Of course I know NC NC NC and I have no plans on breaking that by no means but, I don't feel comfortable talking to him even if he did call and he probably feels the same way. We were together for a long time and to cut somebody out of your life like that is horrible. I feel horrible, I'm doing things for myself and I feel good, but I miss him like the deserts missthe rain. I feel like I'm being punished. I am by no means an angel but we could have worked this out. We had fun together and as days go by I seem to think ofd the good times opposed to the rotten times. I have no idea what he is thinking, or doing, or with, and yes many would say that I shouldn't care, but like he felt he couldn't change the way he felt about me, this feeling I have is not going away. It maybe will but brutal in the meantime. I wish things were differerent, I wish I could have changed the way things went down, I mean we spent the whole weekend together and then when I went home on Monday he decides not to call me, and when I do he tells me he was trying to avoid this, That's utter bull$hit. I was with you for two years, we shared everything, and now you try to avoid breaking my heart? Is that coward or what? What is the definition of coward? Someone who doesn't want to face the music? Someone who is hiding something? Someone who simply doesn't give a ? Anyway. I'm going on my trip with all inten to bask in the sun, swim in the ocean, and forget about this world I live in. But... it will all be here for me waiting when I get back. I can run from having to go to school, or needing to go to work but I CAN NOT run away from my heart!
