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-   -   Relationship Issues (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=262393)

  • Apr 27, 2009, 10:17 PM
    jjwoodhull
    I vote for writing her a letter. Since you've already written a poem, this is something a little different. Just let her know what you admire about her, what made you fall in love with her, how she makes you a better person, etc.

    When you are apart, she can always reread when she is missing you.

    To me, that would be much more valuable then flowers or jewelry.
  • Apr 27, 2009, 11:41 PM
    shazamataz

    If you are as retarded at writing letters as I am try a photo album, but personalise it with photos and memories of your past year.

    For example: have a page of photos from a trip to the beach and include some seashells on the page...
  • Apr 28, 2009, 02:58 PM
    NItEMArE129

    These are some great ideas. And unfortunately, I'm severely handicapped in not only letters but in photo albums as well >.<
  • Apr 28, 2009, 07:26 PM
    neverme

    Just write the truth, its more touching than any contrived bs anyway...
  • Apr 28, 2009, 07:33 PM
    Fuzzball_Kara

    This is what I'd want:

    A video with him telling her his feelings so whenever I wanted to be able to see my man I could just play the video. You could even make a slideshow with all your favorite pics and places together and read a poem in the video. And do all the things that make her laugh and smile.

    On the day you see her before she leaves, take her to do her favorite things get her flowers or candy or something cutesy and tell her she can't watch the video until she gets there and gets settled in and seal it with a kiss.

    Just my thoughts... I love this cutesy stuff. :)
  • Feb 27, 2010, 09:35 PM
    NItEMArE129
    Girlfriend doesn't think I care
    Threads merged

    My girlfriend of a year and a half have recently hit a snag. She says she feels like I just don't care about her, and she also feels like she enjoys talking to her other friends more than me. How can I try to fix this? I really do care about her and would like to be the one she enjoys talking to most.
  • Feb 27, 2010, 09:38 PM
    Wondergirl

    Maybe she really wants a good listener instead of a good talker. Are you a good listener when she talks? (Women like to talk.)

    Also, do you always try to fix or find solutions to things she complains about?
  • Feb 27, 2010, 09:43 PM
    NItEMArE129

    She doesn't really complain to me or talk to me about problems a lot simply because she doesn't tend to have a lot of problems. She tells me it's more that I don't talk to her or spontaneously start conversations. Stuff like that really.
  • Feb 27, 2010, 10:19 PM
    Wondergirl
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by NItEMArE129 View Post
    She doesn't really complain to me or talk to me about problems a lot simply because she doesn't tend to have a lot of problems. She tells me it's more that I don't talk to her or spontaneously start conversations. Stuff like that really.

    Then spontaneously start conversations by asking her "how" or "why" or "what do you think" questions to get her talking so the onus isn't on you to carry the conversation. Give her lots of empathetic responses such as "Wow! Really?" or "Who wudda thunk?" or "Tell me more." Guys like to talk about cars, sports, girls, and food. What do she and her friends talk about? -- probably clothes, makeup, hair, work or school, other girls' personalities and how they get along in life. Or does she want to talk about philosophy, politics, religion, and bestseller books?
  • Feb 27, 2010, 10:22 PM
    dynocompe
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by NItEMArE129 View Post
    My girlfriend of a year and a half have recently hit a snag. She says she feels like I just don't care about her, and she also feels like she enjoys talking to her other friends more than me. How can I try to fix this? I really do care about her and would like to be the one she enjoys talking to most.

    Maybe she is saying that you don't care about her as an excuse. I see this as a excuse to slowly let you down, so she can get out. Maybe that's why she says she enjoys talking to her friends more, so she can go hang out with them, and move on, while she has you still hanging around when she needs you
  • Feb 27, 2010, 10:28 PM
    NItEMArE129

    Wondergirl- I've tried to do a lot of that stuff before, but I'm getting the feeling that she wants more. Like, I've tried to make it so that we still have something to talk about no matter what.

    Dynocompe- I don't think it's that, just because I know her really well and she's not that type.
  • Feb 27, 2010, 10:33 PM
    dynocompe

    I just like to perpare you for the worst, and when they break up with you, you usually are in shock, and do not understand how they could do that, and think they changed over night! But if you can see from a outside view, you can see how they didn't change over night.
    I just find it hard to believe she actually thinks you don't care, because you care so much that you found this site to post on. So I just think something is missing
  • Feb 27, 2010, 10:40 PM
    Wondergirl
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by NItEMArE129 View Post
    Wondergirl- I've tried to do a lot of that stuff before, but I'm getting the feeling that she wants more.

    That's too general. "More" what?? Ask her for specifics.
  • Feb 27, 2010, 10:42 PM
    dynocompe
    [QUOTE=NItEMArE129;2252347]Wondergirl- I've tried to do a lot of that stuff before, but I'm getting the feeling that she wants more. Like, I've tried to make it so that we still have something to talk about no matter what.

    QUOTE]

    So you have tried all what wondergirl suggests, but you still think she really means that you don't care? I don't think so, I think it is that she is beginning not to care
  • Feb 27, 2010, 10:47 PM
    NItEMArE129

    So I just talked to her, and she said that all she wants is for me to say I love you randomly. I'm pretty sure that's not all she wants, but I think it is part of how she feels.

    Dyno- I can see where you're coming from, but I really don't feel that's what it is. I'll keep what you say in mind though because it does make sense.
  • Feb 27, 2010, 10:50 PM
    dynocompe

    Good to have a open mind, good luck!
  • Feb 27, 2010, 10:56 PM
    Wondergirl
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by NItEMArE129 View Post
    So I just talked to her, and she said that all she wants is for me to say I love you randomly. I'm pretty sure that's not all she wants, but I think it is part of how she feels.

    And be creative in how you say "I love you." Do you know what I mean?
  • Apr 12, 2010, 06:34 PM
    NItEMArE129
    I feel suffocated
    Threads merged


    My girlfriend and I have been dating almost two years. It's been a fairly good relationship with a few up and downs, but we've been pretty close for the most of it.

    I'm a really busy guy. I have a lot of schoolwork, sports, and extracurricular activities that I spend a lot of time studying for.
    Recently, I've been feeling like she's been suffocating me. Throughout high school, most of our friends know us as really a couple. I've felt like I don't really have much of an identity on my own. Even now, she's just become the manager for my sports team, so I can't even have any time to be myself with my friends there. Also, she's had ideas for marriage and kids when I'm really not ready to commit to that right now.

    I talked to her today and we decided to go on a break for a week. I feel like I want to break up, but at the same time I don't want to hurt her as she does have issues with depression and anxiety.

    Am I making the right decision?
  • Apr 12, 2010, 09:27 PM
    talaniman

    After the roller coaster ride the two of you have been on, you needed a break.

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