Originally Posted by ISneezeFunny
My gf and I broke up 3 days ago. We are in our early 20s. We go to the same school and have the same friends. The thing is, I made the ultimate mistake. I developed my entire life around her. I have a few friends (3 - 4) that I hang out with on occasion. But my day includes: classes, work, dinner with her, rest of the night with her. The days she isn't with me (when she hangs out with her friends) I am hanging out with mine. Truth is, she has more friends than me and she goes out more than I do...mainly because when she goes out, I have other things to do such as clean my apartment, laundry, go grocery shopping, other errands. So yeah. My bad on that.
In the 3 years we have been together, we have never fought. We have had small arguments here and there, but nothing big at all. No yelling, no hitting, nothing. We get along extremely well to the point her friends envy our relationship. Hell, her relatives envy our relationship.
The Breakup
The past week, she has been really stressed due to exams and competition (she is the captain of a certain team). So when she seemed a bit off, I just brushed it off. Over the weekend, I got a call from a (guy) friend of hers that she collapsed and was in the ER. I went there, found out she was just exhausted from stress. I took her home, took care of her, stayed up all night and made sure she ate, slept, etc. Next day, I take her back to her place, drop her off, and I went out to get some food for her. i come back and she is surrounded by her friends. No biggie...cept that she somewhat shafted me for her friends when I got back. So I left, I had things to do...but I don't get a call from her til 1am. This is very unusual as she usually calls me 3 - 4 times a day..but again, I brushed it off...she just got back from the hospital. she's tired. she's around her friends.
Next day, I ask her what's going on...why things have been happening in the manner that it has. She tells me that she herself has no idea why. She has noticed that as well, but had no clue. She wanted to take winter break (which was coming in 2 weeks) to find out what was wrong, but now that I brought it up, she wanted to take a break. I asked, what kind? she said, the kind where we talk and hang out, but we're not a couple. I immediately thought, bad idea. I suggested that we break up. So we break up.
Didn't sleep that night.
Post break up.
day 1 of BU (breakup), i find myself constantly checking phone/e-mail/etc. I don't call. I just check. I am told by my friend that she has at least 4 people with her at a given time...she is not allowed to be left alone. Apparently, she is a train wreck. I feel bad. I don't do anything. later, I walk out of the lib and find her walking with a guy that I was suspicious of...and she knew that I was. I call her, and she explains that he's been assigned by a friend to walk with her...apparently they take turns walking with her. fine.
i asked for a reason why we broke up. she said that she needs time to think. someone should make a t-shirt out of that phrase. i've had bad breakups before. I know it sucks for a while. I expected it, but not during finals week. this f-ing blows. can't study.
However, I am doing what sdjosh, samesame, mackenzie, etc are saying on here. NO CONTACT. I knew that. I don't initiate contact. drives me crazy, but i do it.
day 2 of BU. she decided that she is going to call me...everyday. she even said so. she said that she'll call me until i tell her not to. ball in my court. another t-shirt idea. i tell her that i will not call her. 4 hours later, i call her asking an innocuous question (i was curious to know the answer!!!) about her friend. that is all. we haven't talked since.
I hear that she's still a train wreck from my friends. doesn't eat. doesn't sleep. My idea is that she wants to take winter break to think about things. at this point, i'm hitting the gym. working on me. i'm doing everything I can to stay busy.
I will see her two more times in the next week (1: mutual friend's birthday is this week...so dinner. 2: we are meeting up this weekend to give each other some stuff back that we've left at each other's places)
my question is...
what do I tell her about the calling me daily thing? Granted, I love the fact that she calls me everyday. I wait for it. When she does call me, I act like an a-hole and I am very cold/distant. but should I just simply say, don't call me? I was planning on not calling her at all. maybe txting her on christmas to say merry christmas or new year's...but is THAT even wrong? help?
Disclaimer: I just read the post...it seems like she's somewhat of a jerk...but really, I just don't have the patience and the energy to type every little detail about us. Trust me, we treat each other equally in affection and respect. She is very sweet. I want to say that I'm in somewhat of the same boat as everyone else here...cept that she just makes it clear that she wants to take some time off, only reason she didnt want me to wait for her was that it'd be unfair for me. so yeah.
