That is hard to say. If you were really mean to her, she may never see the relationship as being a positive one. That is the price you pay when you mistreat people. It's really best to just leave her alone and let her have a new happy life.
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That is hard to say. If you were really mean to her, she may never see the relationship as being a positive one. That is the price you pay when you mistreat people. It's really best to just leave her alone and let her have a new happy life.
If you change your ways and prove to her that you have, she may see you in a positive way in the future. Keep in mind, this does not mean that she will get back together with you, it just means that in the future her hard feelings towards you may diminish.Quote:
Originally Posted by Hottrodder246
What's that supposed to mean?Quote:
Originally Posted by Homegirl 50
That sounds good and I realize it, and that's why I'm kind of pushing it a little bit, because I don't want her feelings to go away forever. I think she is in kind of a phase where she still thinks about the negatives and as time goes by I think she will reflect on the positives and I do realize this doesn't mean we will get back together.Quote:
Originally Posted by nauticalstar420
If you want her to see you in a positive way, then you need to prove that you can be positive. This does not mean calling her all the time and telling her "i've changed"... this means keeping it up with your therapy, becoming a positive person, and letting her see it for herself.Quote:
Originally Posted by Hottrodder246
She probably is still thinking about the negatives, it sounds like there were a lot of negatives there. You must understand that this whole process does not happen overnight; it takes time. You need to give it as much time as it takes.
Keep up with your therapy, and most of all focus on yourself!!! You, and making yourself better, are the most important right now.
Yea I completely understand that, since she goes to a separate college, she probably never hears about me or knows what's going on... is she going to say to her herself one day, "wow i havent to him in a while" and call me? Im just concerned that I'm going to be waiting a long time.Quote:
Originally Posted by nauticalstar420
It means that if you were a real butt hole to her, she may never see her time with you as positive. It's best to just leave her alone to be happy with someone else. That is the price you pay when you mistreat someone.Quote:
Originally Posted by Hottrodder246
If you have to wait a long time, then so be it. Like I said, it doesn't happen overnight.Quote:
Originally Posted by Hottrodder246
She may or may not want to call you sometime in the future just to catch up. I don't really know, I'm not in her head. Just please stop bugging her, you are not helping the situation at all. You need to let this rest.
OK fine... thanks for your help.
I almost forgot, the main reason I can't get over her is because I would lean on her for everything, she kept me going and when she left I collapsed. Is it right to date a new girl for the soul purpose of getting over her or should I really take this time to learn how to stand on my own two feet and go through the low self esteem and depression?Quote:
Originally Posted by nauticalstar420
It is wrong on so many levels to date someone just to get over someone els. It is using that person. You need to use this time to mature and deal with your problems. You don't need to be in a relationship with anybody right now.
That's what I figured, good idea, I think that is what my ex is doing... her new boyfriend is really helping her forget about meQuote:
Originally Posted by Homegirl 50
Well now is the time to learn to lean on yourself. When you make someone your everything and depend upon them for everything it is natural to collapse when that person leaves you. Its as if you have completely forgotten how to do anything for yourself because you are used to that other person.Quote:
Originally Posted by Hottrodder246
Honestly that just tells me even more that the two of you should not be together and that you shouldn't be jumping into another relationship. That is severe co-dependent behavior. You need to learn how to be a secure, independent person in a relationship.
That's amazing, my dad told me the same thing... I felt good about myself because I was with her. Nobody could hurt, except where I left myself the most vunerable, which was the part of my heart reserved for her and it was a huge chunk. Sounds like a good plan and I think I need to let it go and have time for myself for at least a couple months.Quote:
Originally Posted by GlindaofOz
Just for my own personal knowledge... is it bad to remind an ex about past memories when talking to him/her? Will this annoye them?
If it's good memories, I don't see a problem with it.
If it's bad memories or something that should be left in the past, then I'd say it's not worth bringing up again.
Just for my own personal knowledge... is it bad to remind an ex about past memories when talking to him/her? Will this annoye them?Quote:
Originally Posted by GlindaofOz
Past memories about what and who?
Go to my question called how to approach it.Quote:
Originally Posted by shygrneyzs
It would be bad right at this moment. If you two became friends in the future, I don't see the harm in it, but not now.Quote:
Originally Posted by Hottrodder246
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