Ask Me Help Desk - Is it really that wrong to be obedient?

Quote:

Originally Posted by xXxEmOxXxPrInCeSsxXx

Guys, I broke up with Cody...

I think you made the right decision. :) Just stay strong and know that we are all here to support you. I know it was tough, but you'er strong. You will get through this. :)

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Originally Posted by ohsohappy

I think you made the right decision. :) Just stay stron and know that we are all here to support you. I know it was tough, but you'er strong. you will get through this. :)

Good girl. EMOP.. I was telling my daughter about you this afternoon(hope you don't mind) she said there were a couple of girls she had counseled as in her dormitory. She said , Look inside your heart at the good things you've done and build your future from this moment on. She said never let anyone take away the faith you have in yourself. You have strength you don't even know you have until you need it.

.
She's a good kid and I always cry when we leave although she's only sixty miles away
Lots of people cofide in her and she gives them good advicce. She's an understanding young lady and she has always been very sensitive to other peoples problems. I hope you are doing all right little girl. HUGS from me and Hugs from Bethie!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kitkat22

Good girl... I was telling my daughter about you this afternoon(hope you don't mind) she said there were a couple of girls she had counseled as in her dormitory. She said , Look inside your heart at the good things you've done and build your future from this moment on. tive She's a good kid and I always cry when we leave although she's only sixty miles away.

Lots of people cofide in her and she gives them good advicce. She's an understanding young lady and she has always been very sensitive to other peoples problems. I hope you are doing alright little girl. HUGS from me and Hugs from Bethie!

Was this for EMOP or me?

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Originally Posted by ohsohappy

Was this for EMOP or me?

Gosh no, you have it all together and you give great advice.
Sorry ohso it was for emop. God I'm going to get rid of these fake nails and get some new glasses. I also did a little editing a minute ago.

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Originally Posted by Kitkat22

Sorry ohso it was for emop. God I'm going to get rid of these fake nails and get some new glasses.

I pretty much understood, Just clarifying. :)

GUYS... I feel like a total slattern

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Originally Posted by xXxEmOxXxPrInCeSsxXx

GUYS.... I feel like a total slattern

I don't know what that is but if you want to explain I'd love to hear.

From dictionary.com

Slat·tern /ˈslætərn/ Show Spelled[slat-ern] Show IPA
–noun
1.a slovenly, untidy woman or girl.
2.a slut; harlot.

I feel like a tramp

Quote:

Originally Posted by ohsohappy

from dictionary.com

slat·tern /ˈslætərn/ Show Spelled[slat-ern] Show IPA
–noun
1.a slovenly, untidy woman or girl.
2.a slut; harlot.

I'm sorry to be such a pain. I promise I'll try to start figuring some of thes things out for myself. Thanks again ohso. I appreciate it.

Quote:

Originally Posted by xXxEmOxXxPrInCeSsxXx

I feel like a tramp

t

Stop it! And I'm not giving up on you and you'd better not give up on yourself.DO NOT put yourself down. I have prayed for you throughout the day "God Don't Make Any Junk". You are worth something. We all make mistakes but when we realize they are mistakes we try not to do them again. You stop it now. Hugs

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Originally Posted by Kitkat22

I'm sorry to be such a pain. I promise I'll try to start figuring some of thes things out for myself. Thanks again ohso. I appreciate it.

You're not a pain, I like helping. :)

Quote:

Originally Posted by xXxEmOxXxPrInCeSsxXx

I feel like a tramp

Emop, I know you are going through a bad time right now but you have to remember that this isn't a chat site.

If you have a problem you need to clearly explain what it is.

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Originally Posted by shazamataz

If you have a problem you need to clearly explain what it is.

She has. Please read from the beginning, and you will see the problem.

We love you EMOP and we are here for you. Take it one day at a time.

Quote:

Originally Posted by shazamataz

Emop, I know you are going through a bad time right now but you have to remember that this isn't a chat site.

If you have a problem you need to clearly explain what it is.

She's been having a rough time in the last couple of days. Rougher than usual. Blessings

Sorry, meant to explain and got kicked off fast! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! I guess I deleted the explanation in my rush, I'm sorry guys, please forgive me

Here's my problem: AS FRIENDS I went to the movies with my friend. A guy friend, but still just a friend. We were watching the movie, behaving pretty well, and I said I was cold, so he put his arm around me. About half an hour later, he kissed me. It progressed to touching and heavy kissing, "making out" I guess. It was unexpected, I really didn't intend on this happening, but now I feel like a loose girl for this. I especially feel like this because he isn't sure if it meant anything to him, as he told me after I got home last night.

Quote:

Originally Posted by xXxEmOxXxPrInCeSsxXx

Sorry, meant to explain and got kicked off fast! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! I guess I deleted the explanation in my rush, I'm sorry guys, please forgive me

Here's my problem: AS FRIENDS I went to the movies with my friend. A guy friend, but still just a friend. We were watching the movie, behaving pretty well, and I said I was cold, so he put his arm around me. About half an hour later, he kissed me. It progressed to touching and heavy kissing, "making out" I guess. It was unexpected, I really didn't intend on this happening, but now I feel like a loose girl for this. I especially feel like this because he isn't sure if it meant anything to him, as he told me after I got home last night.

I think you kind of went for it because you wanted to feel like someone (a guy) cared for you the way you want to care for another guy. Most of us have had impulsive moments like that. Just look back on it and learn from it the best way you know how.

And here's a bit of advice for you: If it was the right thing to do, you'd feel good about it. So let that be how you judge your behaviors and decide to learn from them.

Quote:

Originally Posted by xXxEmOxXxPrInCeSsxXx

Sorry, meant to explain and got kicked off fast! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! I guess I deleted the explanation in my rush, I'm sorry guys, please forgive me

Here's my problem: AS FRIENDS I went to the movies with my friend. A guy friend, but still just a friend. We were watching the movie, behaving pretty well, and I said I was cold, so he put his arm around me. About half an hour later, he kissed me. It progressed to touching and heavy kissing, "making out" I guess. It was unexpected, I really didn't intend on this happening, but now I feel like a loose girl for this. I especially feel like this because he isn't sure if it meant anything to him, as he told me after I got home last night.

EMOP, why not try finding the person you are and I think it will be a good person you find. You don't need a guy to make you fulfilled. So spend some time finding you. There's a big world out there and as I said before.. You can be a help to someone. Someday when you least expect BAM you meet the man you want to spend your life with and he will feel the same if it's meant to be. You Take Care.

Quote:

Originally Posted by ohsohappy

I think you kind of went for it because you wanted to feel like someone (a guy) cared for you the way you want to care for another guy. Most of us have had impulsive moments like that. Just look back on it and learn from it hte best way you know how.

And here's a bit of advice for you: If it was the right thing to do, you'd feel good about it. So let that be how you judge your behaviors and decide to learn from them.

I felt great about it until he said he needed time to think.

My mum has been telling me to date around, immediately. I had a date tonight with my other friend, but dad didn't let me go. I want to go out and have fun, take my mind off the break up. However, I feel I may be moving too fast.

I think the strong feelings I had for Cody were more fear of being alone than a desire to be with him.

I don't think you are a tramp or loose or any other negative word for a female. What I do think is that you are confused and feeling alone. I think you are in danger of looking for a new source of affection and 'stability'.

You need time to work through everything that has gone on and everything you have been through. I know you are strong enough to be on your own for awhile. Don't allow fear to rule your emotions and get into another relationship before you are ready mentally and emotionally.

When do you begin counseling with the new therapist?

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Originally Posted by Kitkat22

EMOP, why not try finding the person you are and I think it will be a good person you find. You don't need a guy to make you fullfilled. so spend some time finding you. There's a big world out there and as I said before..You can be a help to someone. Someday when you least expect BAM you meet the man you want to spend your life with and he will feel the same if it's meant to be. You Take Care.

My problem is, I hate being alone. I need to work through that, I know.

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Originally Posted by Cat1864

I don't think you are a tramp or loose or any other negative word for a female. What I do think is that you are confused and feeling alone. I think you are in danger of looking for a new source of affection and 'stability'.

You need time to work through everything that has gone on and everything you have been through. I know you are strong enough to be on your own for awhile. Don't allow fear to rule your emotions and get into another relationship before you are ready mentally and emotionally.

When do you begin counseling with the new therapist?

Tomorrow I begin counseling.

Thank you Cat. I think you are right about my search for affection and stability

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Originally Posted by xXxEmOxXxPrInCeSsxXx

tommorow I begin counseling

Good. I hope it works out this time. :)

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Originally Posted by Cat1864

Good. I hope it works out this time. :)

I hope so too, but it is through the school

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Originally Posted by xXxEmOxXxPrInCeSsxXx

My problem is, I hate being alone. I need to work through that, I know.

Alone time can be so soothing. Try this, in your alone time read a good book. Write down all the things you would like to do when you are on your own. Keep a journal , it's like having a friend, you can write and it's your private thoughs no one else can share.

Workout , you don't have to have that really expensive gym equipment. Some two pound arm weight and running a mile or two a day or every other day can make you feel great! And you have all of us.

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Originally Posted by xXxEmOxXxPrInCeSsxXx

I hope so too, but it is through the school

Here's some advice from a counselor -- Don't start with "but"s. Don't set yourself up for failure. And don't just quit because you're not happy about how you think the counseling is going. There may be something very important going on that you aren't aware of. Question the counselor. YOU are the client. This is YOUR life that you are working on.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kitkat22

Alone time can be so soothing. Try this, in your alone time read a good book. Write down all the things you would like to do when you are on your own. Keep a journal , it's like having a friend, you can write and it's your private thoughs no one else can share.

Workout , you don't have to have that really expensive gym equipment. Some two pound arm weight and running a mile or two a day or every other day can make you feel great! And you have all of us.

I work out every day, run a mile and a half on the treadmill. I used to write in a journal, but when my parents found it, I was punished for depression.

I can't stand alone time. I spent the majority of my life in isolation, now I can't stand it for more than a few hours at a time

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Originally Posted by Wondergirl

Here's some advice from a counselor -- Don't start out with "but"s. Don't set yourself up for failure. And don't just quit because you're not happy about how you think the counseling is going. There may be something very important going on that you aren't aware of. Question the counselor. YOU are the client. This is YOUR life that you are working on.

Very true WG, Good advice too

Quote:

Originally Posted by xXxEmOxXxPrInCeSsxXx

I work out every day, run a mile and a half on the treadmill. I used to write in a journal, but when my parents found it, I was punished for depression.

I can't stand alone time. I spent the majority of my life in isolation, now I can't stand it for more than a few hours at a time

It's like Wondergirl stated; ask your therapist questions for one why you hate being alone. He can suggest something which will help you.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

Here's some advice from a counselor -- Don't start out with "but"s. Don't set yourself up for failure. And don't just quit because you're not happy about how you think the counseling is going. There may be something very important going on that you aren't aware of. Question the counselor. YOU are the client. This is YOUR life that you are working on.

Very Good Advice

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Originally Posted by xXxEmOxXxPrInCeSsxXx

very true WG, Good advice too

I'm a counselor. If something makes you wonder or question what is going on, before you quit counseling, post it here somehow and I (we) will help you untangle whatever knot has been tied.

Quote:

Originally Posted by xXxEmOxXxPrInCeSsxXx

I felt great about it until he said he needed time to think.

My mum has been telling me to date around, immediately. I had a date tonight with my other friend, but dad didn't let me go. I want to go out and have fun, take my mind off the break up. However, I feel I may be moving too fast.

I think the strong feelings I had for Cody were more fear of being alone than a desire to be with him.

It's good that you realize this. If you feel you need to slow down, then do so. At least you realize your feelings, pay attention to them, you'll be fine. :)

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kitkat22

It's like Wondergirl stated; ask your therapist questions for one why you hate being alone. He can suggest something which will help you.

If the counselor is worth his/her salt, he/she will drag out of Emo herself what will help her. She knows herself far better than the counselor does, and a good counselor knows that. That's one of the reasons psychological counseling is called "the talking cure."

[QUOTE=Wondergirl;2241213]If the counselor is worth his/her salt, he/she will drag out of Emo herself what will help her. She knows herself far better than the counselor does, and a good counselor knows that. That's one of the reasons psychological counseling is called "the talking cure."[/QUOTE

Thanks for telling me that. Lots of people need to have someone to guide them. You do a great job.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kitkat22

Thanks for telling me that. Lots of people need to have someone to guide them. You do a great job.

Clients tell me, "You are such a good counselor," yet I hardly say a word. I listen to and reflect back to them what they say, am empathetic without buying into the problems they bring up, and elicit strategies for improvement from them based on their own ideas. Getting counseling is the hardest work a client can do. The client has to make a total investment in the process.

Wondergirl, I envy your patients. I truly do. I hope that my new counselor is like you

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Originally Posted by xXxEmOxXxPrInCeSsxXx

Wondergirl, I envy your patients. I truly do. I hope that my new counselor is like you

I totally agree with you EMOP. Wondergirl is truly a WONDER!

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Originally Posted by xXxEmOxXxPrInCeSsxXx

Wondergirl, I envy your patients. I truly do. I hope that my new counselor is like you

Thank you. I make my clients work hard. Let us know how things are going. We want counseling to be a helpful and useful experience for you.

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Originally Posted by Kitkat22

I totally agree with you EMOP. Wondergirl is truly a WONDER!!

I call myself Wondergirl because my day job is librarian, and I wonder a lot.