My ex calls me a lot and says hey hunny how are you , I miss you and stuff.. But we both have agreed on staying broken up because of the 2000 miles distance between us. I do love him and care, but like it kind of feels wrong. Whenever he does call I feel so good to have someone being like that to me. But after I know I don't want to be with him right now ( he is super jealous always asking me who I am with, what I am doing, when I got home.. etc) Do you think he is acting like a boyfriend to feel complete or something, or is he trying to win me back?

Why don't you ask him how he feels instead of guessing and prolonging the stress?
If he still has feelings for you and is trying to perhaps get back together maybe you should stop talking to him, to save his AND your feelings.

It feels good to be talked to like that, but don't keep carrying on conversations like that if you both need to move on.

If it bothers you that much. Change your phone number and delet him from your life.

Unless you are planing on getting back with him later on? Are you?

What do you want out of this?

Xs Should not be calling you up. Going hey babe and hey hun..

Don't give him false ideas and tell him what you want.. and don't want out of him

Come on girl. I have seen you give lots of good advice here.

You know what to do

He probably has false hopes, because of the mixed signals you give him.

Long Distance Relationship Advice | The Frisky

Read this, see if it helps you understand.

That's true guys, I have to tell him to stop because we are 'just' friends and only a 'boyfriend' gets those privileges :) I do like to talk to him now and then. But I always wait for him to call. Also we couldn't be together for 2-3 years so I'm holding back a lot because I don't want to get hurt. :) thanks everyone

About the whole not hurting him part my dear :)

You will end up hurting him more if you don't tell him right away..

But you know this ;)

Anyway good luck

Remember live your life :) don't wait on anyone

All the best

You guys seem like you probably like each other a lot but the distance is really hindering things. The only hope you really have to make this work is

a. You both have the self control to wait it out for two to three years and stay exclusive to one another. Only seeing each other once every few months makes this INCREDIBLY difficult.

b. One of you transfers schools to be closer.

Look at the situation. Are you a girl that is hit on a lot? Are a lot of men in your life? Are you put in tempting situations a lot? What about him, is the same situation true for him? If this is the case, you may want to consider option b or be in for a long, interesting ride.

I've asked him a lot to transfer schools but he can't because he's taking over his moms business/ is in school for business and if I were to transfer schools it would be taught in spanish! Lol I will try to talk to him again though.. thanks guys :)

Hello, lately my ex and I have been talking. We will talk for about a half hour then after I start treating him bad. We are 2000miles away and I always end up trying to get him to move closer to me or ask him to sell his business he will get, to be with me. I don't even know why I do. I know he never would and I know its not fair. I know I am pushing him away from me. But I can't seem to stop, I hate when I act like that. I always treat him bad I am being so unfair. I couldn't move there because of the industry I am going into and the language difference. But like I need to stop because I love him. But I don't no what to do now I have screwed up so much, I want to truly tell him I am sorry I don't no how to. I need to stop, I need to.. but I miss him so much its hard. I always force him to do things like talk to me longer, etc but man I hate myself when I do it.. I just did it again and I just feel like crying I don't no what is wrong with me.. :( helpp! I know he loves me because he will always talk to me and he's always the one to IM me or call me. I hate myself for doing this to him everyday, I just feel like I want him to prove to me that he wants to be with me... help me guys!

we should, at one point in time, swallow our pride.. let's think of it this way: if you do love him, try to talk... after all,

Quote:

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there's no harm in trying

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, is there? ^^

Its only normal that you want to see some assurance in future. So lets get things straight here, talk to him, ask what is his plan. You both prefer your jobs than working on being together. If you 2 can't settle for that LDR, then call it quits. If you stay, don't complain.

You can't always have everything, sorry...

Yes you CAN stop doing what you are doing, you just don't want you. It gives you a sense of control. What is your payoff? People don't do things like this without a motive. You have to sit down and think about what yours is, and be honest with yourself.

For one, you said he is your ex! What happened to make him your "ex"? Are you getting back at him for something? Do you feel guilty for something "you" did to cause him to be your ex?

If you keep on trying to make him prove himself, you WILL lose him again. You know that don't you? I think you need a check on yourself esteem. If you keep on thinking you don't deserve him, sooner or later he is going to believe you.

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and p.s. on 4th day of NC and loving it :)!!

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Until you get serious with No Contact, your misery and confusion will continue. But you already know that.

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/search...archid=3410548

Yeah really girl what part of No Contact don't you understand?

Your post is all over the place. Your emotions are so out of wack

You are brining this all on yourself!

You can only feel sorry for someone if they put there hands on the FIRE once

But if they keep on DOING IT?

Its like what's the point.

Stop being WEAK!
And move the hell on.

Or you will just keep posting the whys and wheres. On this site
And we will just keep saying

And what really pisses me off. Is YOU KNOW BETTER. And you are given others advice? Yet you are not able to follow your own advice.

Noo contact.

Yawn.

This reminds of fight club, you like visiting support groups ?

I realised that the point of all relationships is to keep it real. And to understand the purpose of the break up and how to move from it. Ive looked at how you give advice to others. Like what everyone else is telling you. You know what you got to do. You just got to stick by it. Talaniman gave me a reality check in my blog that you also commented on me as well.

I hope everything goes well for you.

You guys are so right and I know what's right, its just so hard to tell someone to LEAVE u alone when they say they love u so much and u love them. Its hard to do :S even with all our mutual friends like its soooo hard. :(

Its hard?

I tell you what's hard. Hard is speaking to someone that you know you can't be with.

If you love him so much. Pick up everything and leave and go with him simple as that..

If you have your own goals in life. And yours and his does not match

Then stop this train of hurt.

Its not hard. You are making it hard.

Trust me. To stop talking to someone. Is an easy thing to do. Even more so if you love them.

Because what you are doing now. Is just. Wrong and there is no need to make yourself feel like this.



Time to Follow your OWN advice missy
These are Quotes taken from you



Relationships are like glass. Sometimes it’s better to leave them broken than try to hurt yourself putting it back together" ( that says is it all right there you are really cutting the SH#T out of yourself here madem)

“Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.” (HA! Yeah it sure is. You are making all the suffering out of this one)

“I don’t miss him, I miss who I thought he was.” (this is true. You want him to be with you leave everything and be near you. Sorry love. You know that is not going to happen
Or it would have by now)

In time u will get through this. Stay strong. Do what u do best. Like giving advice on this site lol:) and being free, enjoying life to the fullest:)

You guys are so right, I know what to do. But I am starting to realize a lot of things now. I always pushed him to do things and made him do things. Which I thought he should do 'as a boyfriend' but it was wrong so now I am just relaxing and seeing how he is and letting him be himself. And see how it goes. I promise I won't do anymore stupid posts like this. Thanks so much guys!

Oh p.s. I send him a email saying sorry for how I have been treating him and he forgave me.

Hello, most of you know my history with my ex. And we broke it off for good last night! Believe me, but I was talking with his gay friend today and he told me a bunch of stuff and I have found out my ex is bi. It hurts me we were together for 2years and he never told me. Like I have a lot of signs I thought he might have been, because he always wanted to do anal sex and I found gay porn in his house once. Like I know you guys will say its over and to forget. But I feel bad he never told me and like I wish he would have opened up with me, I understand if he is but I'm so hurt he couldn't tell me. And like I am in so much shock.. has this ever happened to anyone else?

Was he with other guys while he was with you?

Make sure you are safe and healthy.

Other than that. People should share more in relationships.
That is the reason why most go down the drain because one is not willing to fight as hard as the other.

All the best

I can certainly relate to your story because I'm a formally married gay man who is going through a break up myself. I know exactly where your husband is coming from.

The closet hurts everyone, the married gay man, the wife, the kids. It's a horrible mess without easy solutions. But one thing for sure is that these marriage have a failure rate of about 99%.

There's so much I could tell you but suffice it to say that I'm happy to chat about it at length if you are interested.

Whether your husband is "bi" or gay really isn't the issue. I am gay and have never considered myself "bi" in spite of having been married to a woman.

Let me know what specific questions you have or how I might help.

So what were some of the signs u saw outside of him wanting to have anal sex?

He wasn't my husband, we were together for 2years, I'm 19 and he's 20. Some other signs were I found gay porn and a mutual friend told me he knew he had sex with a guy before and my ex always hits on him and stuff

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Originally Posted by h0llister

he wasnt my husband, we were together for 2years, im 19 and hes 20. Some other signs were i found gay porn and a mutual friend told me he knew he had sex with a guy before and my ex always hits on him and stuff

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Sorry for the misunderstanding about being married.

Well, actually you are in much better shape than many because of not having been married, having no kids and being young. All you have to do is chalk this one up to experience and move on. I'm sure it's not a lot of fun, but imagine if you had married the guy, had a few kids and then a decade or two had passed before the revelation? That's the reality many folks have to deal with.

That's so true.. I'm so glad because we did have marriage plans! Thank u so much!

Is this the dude that is far away from you? Right.

Well at least now you can move on
And stop wondering..

So I guess some good comes out of this

I'm just sorry you had to go threw this

Quote:

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Originally Posted by h0llister

thats so true.. im so glad because we did have marriage plans!! thank u so much!

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Marriage plans. See, this sort of thing is more common than you think. And there is no question that the guy is gay.

Better to have found out now than later.

Hey everyone its been awhile since I've been here.. its been about 2-3months since I was heartbroken.. and he still tries contacting me and I just ignore it. I have met someone else now (nothing to serious just dating).

But I remember back a few months ago and how hard it was. If anyone is reading this who is heartbroken. I've been there and I'm so happy now. PLEASE listen to what people tell you on here , they are always right! Lol I swear! Even if you think OMG I'm not going to do what they say... you will keep on hurting... until you do it! There some very educated people on here.

Thanks to everyone who helped me through my pain, and still responded after my like 8398 posts about my ex.. lol Thanks everyone so much.
Especially Talaniman, TrueFaith, Romefalls19! Thank you for reading and responding to all of my questions! :)

I wish I could move on fast after the breakup, but I am having an extremely tough time just cutting someone I've known and love for 6 years completely out of my life. We've broken up for 3 months, and we have no contact for 8 weeks now. I still haven't totally accepted the fact that we are no longer together, I'm still hanging onto hopes... waiting that one day he will get in touch with me. Perhaps he has already moved on as he ignored my email & text message on Xmas Day. It was just a simple wish, nothing about getting back. I wonder how can he move on so quick ?

I am happy for you because I remember your thread, I even answered it, and remember the hard time you was having. I told you in time you'll get past him but it's a process.

I am glad your answering his calls and keep it up.

Happy belated New Year and I hope you had a good holiday. Keep it up for 2009, it's a new year so forever you do don't give in and be bother with your ex.

You go girl!

Everyone is different it took me this long to be happy again, of course I wonder about him. But I love myself way more now than him. (he hurt me ALOT) but try to do things that make you happy, go out with friends and meet new friends! Once you fill your life with happiness , this pain is slowly disappear :) and were always here for you:)

I'm curious... are you over it now because there is someone in your life or because you actually feel stronger?

I feel stronger.. but having someone else interested in me, made me realize I was over my ex, because if this happened a month ago it would hurt me but now I appreicate it :) lol

That's good to hear. I nervous about getting involved with anyone because I'm not sure if I'll use it as a crutch myself.

You know, its nice to date and have someone be nice and get to know them, :) don't be nervous, when you find someone, you are interested in, your ex won't even borther you:P

What a pleasant surprise, a happy ending. I am glad your happy again. Made my day.