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-   -   In a weird situation... (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=568418)

  • Jun 21, 2011, 11:00 AM
    dwidrick
    Comment on amicon's post
    Well to be fair she had been trying to come to my games before this weekend. This was her first weekend she had off. But I get your point.
  • Jun 21, 2011, 11:09 AM
    dwidrick
    Comment on amicon's post
    She had assumed I was talking to girls since we stopped talking so I don't know that it is the exact cause. And she has always been a very proud person and to act the way she has been just isn't what I expected.
  • Jun 22, 2011, 10:37 AM
    dwidrick
    Ok so after the initial day of my ex showing up to tell me that she wanted to be with me and only me... and having really thought about her a lot that day, I find most of those emotions subsiding. I find myself thinking back to how we ended in the first place and how much of a hassle it was and how at times I did feel like our relationship got stagnant. She assured me that wouldn't happen again because we would have different mindsets, which could be true for the first short weeks or months but I don't necessarily by that.

    I find it hard to think of the things I didn't like about her relationship and only remember good, which I feel is natural and unavoidable to a degree. But the farther away from that one day I go the less I think about it and the more I think about how much I am enjoying myself right now with what I am doing, who I am interacting with, and what may or may not be ahead.

    Just a little update, not sure if it means much but figured I would tell you guys :)
  • Jun 22, 2011, 10:52 AM
    amicon

    For a failed relationship to work again it takes a lot of effort and a willingness to overcome that which went wrong.

    I can't see that happening here,so I suggest you carry on with your new insights and your new,enjoyable life. ;-)
  • Jun 22, 2011, 11:26 AM
    talaniman

    The good news, you have made a decision, and are following through with it. Thoughtfully, and logically, and handled your emotions very well so far. Keep it up, forever, and you will never be controlled by them, no matter the situation.

    Trust your own judgment, and define what are YOUR personal boundaries of good behavior. That will be who you are, and what you stand for. Then you can deal with anything life throws your way. As you are seeing, letting the storm pass, is not a bad thing, but the smart thing to do.

    Sort of proud of you. Be a bit proud of yourself, and stay humble.
  • Jun 22, 2011, 12:37 PM
    dwidrick
    Comment on amicon's post
    Its not that I couldn't put in the effort... I just don't think I desire to anymore. It is much easier the way it is now as nothing is forced and feels right.
  • Jun 22, 2011, 12:41 PM
    dwidrick
    Comment on talaniman's post
    Thanks a lot... I needed that bit of reassurance as I feel telling her this is going to take a lot and won't be easy. But I think it is for the best. She is on the verge of finally getting the career she wants and she can get lost in that to help herself out. We could cross paths again in the future but right now I am happy with the path I have chosen and what it is leading to, and how it is making me feel.

    Talaniman, amicon, wondergirl, and everyone else who has taken time to comment on my story have been a great help. I will keep you posted on how this turns out.
  • Jun 22, 2011, 06:23 PM
    dwidrick
    Just told my ex that I didn't want to try again with her. Hardest thing I have ever done. Makes me feel so bad.

    Thanks for the support guys... Been a great help.
  • Jun 22, 2011, 06:33 PM
    talaniman

    WOW, you catch on fast to the decision making process. Tell us why you did what you did, please.
  • Jun 22, 2011, 06:36 PM
    vanheart
    Nows its time for nc. Long overdue really.
    The more contact, back & forth w/her, the more anxiety.
    Time to start a new chapter in your life.
  • Jun 22, 2011, 06:44 PM
    dwidrick
    I just tried to think back to why things went bad in the first place and some of the drama and didn't want to go through it. I have been happy talking with the new girl and didn't want to jeopardize that.

    She wanted to meet me Friday to see how it went and I decided after a few days thinking that seeing her would stir up too much and set me back more.
  • Jun 23, 2011, 06:36 AM
    dwidrick
    Just wish I knew if it was the right choice... she tried so hard to get me to give her a chance and I said no. She hung on to some of the messages I sent her earlier in this process and hoped it meant I was still waiting.

    I feel like I let her down. I know I shouldn't feel like that but I can't help it.
  • Jun 23, 2011, 06:46 AM
    amicon
    Your reaction is normal-as are your doubts.

    She let herself down-you both let yourselves down-when you were in the relationship.

    That was then-this is now.
  • Jun 23, 2011, 06:55 AM
    dwidrick
    Comment on amicon's post
    Thank you for the support. I am sure in the next couple days I will realize better that it was the right choice. Right now my emotions are just getting the best of me I think.
  • Jun 23, 2011, 07:03 AM
    amicon
    Or hours...


    Get busy!!
  • Jun 23, 2011, 07:06 AM
    dwidrick
    Comment on amicon's post
    Lol sir yes sir!!
  • Jun 23, 2011, 09:37 AM
    amicon

    That'd be yes Mam!!
    ;-)
  • Jun 23, 2011, 10:38 AM
    dwidrick
    Comment on amicon's post
    Haha sorry... wasn't being gender specific with that. But good to know won't make that mistake again :P
  • Jun 23, 2011, 03:01 PM
    Vakantie
    Hello dwidrick,

    Just wanted to say that your action motivates me! I would love to be where you are right now, knowing you can have a great life without your ex girlfriend and that you like your life more now without her. It's impressive how time have made you stronger and to make a decision like this is very motivating.

    Maybe you are in doubt right now, but I have the feeling you've made the right decision. When I read your message earlier about how you were enjoying your life right now and interacting with new people, I knew you made the right choice!

    Just wanted to say this and enjoy your life! :)
  • Jun 23, 2011, 07:01 PM
    dwidrick
    Comment on Vakantie's post
    Thanks I am glad I can inspire you as you have me. I just have to keep moving forward and enjoy the ride. Who knows my ex and I could meet up again someday but right now it just isn't the right time.

    Keep working at your situation too... it will get better, I promise :)

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