Sorry, Im catching up.

You're both cheaters together. Right?

Trying to fix that? And feeling jealous?

Why are guys together? Really?

Have you thought about that?

Someone with something to hide tends to get stroppy, loud, defensive and goes on the attack - as in "you are so insecure"... rather than reply.
So, you are now not allowed to speak (or think) unless the timing is convenient to him..
I wonder how much more controlling you will allow him to do before you are allowed to speak your mind.
Be a good little girl, shut up, and do as you are told.
Or get some courage and speak your mind whenever YOU want to!

Since any response to an issue is biased due to the one-sided information, I'd like to ask you some questions that I think you should roll over in your head for a bit:

If your boyfriend were to read what you wrote here, would he agree with your description of the issue, and the information you are telling us, or not telling us? Are you exaggerating, because you seem to be flustered by the issue still, you called him a jerk in your last response.

Is this a close, or long-distance relationship, when was the last time you have seen each other in person? It seems like you two are disconnected, and are caught up by many issues that seem to be resolved, and then seem to unravel and dissolve due to un-cured insecurities.

When was the last time you had sex with him? When was the last time you made love with him? Making love, and having sex are two different actions. Make-up sex can be just as good as discussing a problem, but is not a substitute for it - it is only as good as a topical cream that temporarily alleviates symptoms.

Are you telling him everything? A major key to communicating in intimate relationships is having both parties "in the know"; make sure he knows what's going on in your mind, don't hide any single feeling or thought as minuscule or large as it may be.

Does he think you are over-analyzing, and in doing so, are you missing important little clues he leaves that he does understand and care, but doesn't want to catch you up in the moment and have you thinking all night long?

You seem to blame him for your insecurities. Ask yourself, and honestly analyze where your insecurities were born, and what causes them to grow, or run rampant. Then discuss what you find out with you boyfriend, so he knows exactly how to help you.

Remember to approach any issue you have with an open mind - remove any biases as best as you can, and make sure you two are working together on the issue, and make sure it is at the very least patched up before you move on to another subject, or end the conversation for the night. Good luck.

Ask Me Help Desk - Search Results

I get the feeling that you are curious, and inquisitive, but your boyfriend doesn't like to talk much. All your other post suggest your having a hard time establishing some good honest communications.

I think that most young couples have that problem, and it affects many areas of the relationship, until you learn more about how to talk, and listen to each other.

For you though, don't take everything so personally, and know when to back off. I say that just because he has the classic symptoms of being emotionally overwhelmed by you, and won't admit maybe he can't answer your questions, or doesn't know how.

Go slower with him, with less expectations, and see if that doesn't open him up in time. Emphasis on time, which requires patience, and I think you'll ease into a comfortable way for you both to learn to express yourselves to each other.

Are older men like this? WHen you say young couples do you suggest young in age or in their relationship?

Could age be a factor here? Not only age but your time invested.
It seems to hit a nerve with you.

More so, lack of communication. Honesty. Get real here. You will thank yourself later.

Things that myself have experienced and felt the result of when communication is non-existent.

Be honest & strong with yourself & communicate that. Understand your partner. How best to do that. Positivity and honesty are the rules of thumb here. Understand what the agenda is. Then how.

We all deny and brush stuff under the carpet to not argue, out of fear and hurt or maybe realization of true answers, even from ourselves. But if its important to you and the relationship, its worth that effort.

But, that's up to you. Only you know what you want. Not yet what he wants.

Most people here already know my usual topics of discussion. So, I'll keep it short and frank as possible.

1. Boyfriend and I building trust after infidelity on both sides (althought he seems to trust me more than I do him)-But I only did once, he did twice
2. Before we met he used to talk to A LOT of females, either trying to get a girlfriend or wanting some sexual satisfaction... idk likely both
3. Many of the people on his buddy list seem to be "these" girls; he claims he doesn't talk to them anymore. I was having doubts so I I'm two of them one responds that she and him met on myspace... lets just say his myspace and talking to girls flirtaciously went hand in hand. He was upset by this and I asked why. He pulled out the same old trick " your insecure" blah blah. I asked him if he doesn't talk to them, than why can't you just delete them. He said there is no reason to. Uhh, that makes just as much sense as keeping a pile of old clothes in your room that you've grown out of. Naturally we had disagreement about it. I feel like he's hiding something from me. And yet I don't feel its unwarranted. He has given me a few reasons not to. Regardless, Ive been trying hard to lately.
4. What should be done? What should I do? Its unnerving to the point where I don't want to talk to him

If you can trust him and is having a hard time trying to then "why stay"?

Contacting girls from his myspace proves you doesn't and it doesn't seems like he is going admit to anything.

Part of loving someone is knowing when to let go.

Threads merged

A few months ago I had discovered some photos my boyfriend was sending to this particular female on this ridiculous dating/social networking site. Long story short. I asked him. He started babbling, which was the first indicator that he was lying. Then he made up some extensively outrageous lie that I found to have no credibility. I knew he was lying. But it was like 2 am when I confronted him about it and I was tired so I yielded to my weariness and put it off. Although, I did not forget and I was thinking of ways to get him to tell me the truth. Finally he did about a month ago. Ever since then, trusting is an endeavor I shall attemopt to re-learn it. He already "cheated before" actually both incident happened around the same time Like a few days apart; I'seem to have handled the first incident in a relatively good amount of time. Seeing as he came forth and did not flat out lie to me about it. There is a lot of suppressed anger that is freighted with the whole issue. I really just resent the fact he lied to me about it. I don't know. And things have become increasingly difficult to fix. The worst part is, on several occasions I laid out the chance for him to come clean by saying.. "is there anything else" is there anything you want to tell me? He only told me once I tried to make it all blow up in his face by posing as some girl who wanted to xchange "x-rated pictures with him" I would like to say I believe that he knew it was me as he said, but its like how can I be sure when he lied about sending pictures to that girl in the first place?? Above all else, everything is always my fault because Im insecure... NO **** sherlocke... I wonder why?

Okay, you probably won't like this whole post, so if not just wait for someone else to respond.

You stayed with him after the X rated picture incident, which told him "you forgive and let it go" which meant that you can no longer hold that against him. It's relationship double jeopardy, sounds weird and wrong but its true. You should have ended it the first time

I DO NOT agree with you pretending to be someone else, it's just as deceitful as the liar that it's intended to catch. If you have a feeling your spouse is cheating, go with it. Something isn't right, you speak up. If it can't be resolved by communication, then it's time to walk away from the relationship.

Now you have two choices, stay with him and continue to allow yourself to be made insecure by this internet cheater which may grow into an reality cheater, or walk away.

My choice, run the other way

Well, I don't agree or disagree with your post. I'll just take it for what it is. But I must mention the physical cheating was a one time thing, and the sending pictures to a girl after talking her up was probably a 2-3 event; in short it happened once. It wasn't continuous.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by j_ely823

Well, I dont agree or disagree with your post. I'll just take it for what it is. But i must mention the physical cheating was a one time thing, and the sending pictures to a girl after talking her up was probably a 2-3 event; in short it happened once. it wasnt continuous.

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Don't make excuses for him.

Dump him already!

Sarah

So are you going to allow him to continually do this? I mean that's 4 times he has cheated that you have allowed him. Cheating for me, and a lot of other people is a one and done thing. They have a strong habit for repeating, which it seems he is doing

When someone has cheated, trust is broken. No trust = no relationship. If you can't trust him, leave him.

Two choices:

1) Do you really want to continue a relationship where you are constantly insecure and just waiting for the next time that he cheats on you?

2) Or would you rather dump this cheater. Learn from this experience. Then find someone who's not going to cheat on you and treat you with respect?

I vote for 2).

CRAP! I'm gone for 2 months and I forget to click the wrong one. I tried to just be lazy and hit "Tab" down and I guess I didn't hit TAB twice.



I'm sorry.. I love you!. I'll make up for it...

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Romefalls19

CRAP! I'm gone for 2 months and I forget to click the wrong one. I tried to just be lazy and hit "Tab" down and I guess I didn't hit TAB twice.



I'm sorry..I love you!...I'll make up for it.....

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Off topic but that made me laugh. I love you! Ha...

I got this mental image:



Sarah

Now you are asking about an internet affair?

You both have cheated (Him-2; You-1). You don't communicate. You don't trust him. He shuts down and gets defensive. AND a whole lot more according to other questions you've asked.

The more I read the more I have to ask:

WHY are you still with this man?

Not to mention, what's next and can we get it all in one thread?

I may get slammed by people here but you overstepped a line by going on HIS buddy list and contacting people on his buddy list. There is nothing positive that could come from that, you either get your own satisfaction from feeling better if they don't know you or you embarrass him because his girlfriend is contacting people from his myspace. Or let's say, you didn't know who it was and you contacted them, it turns out to be his boss? How do you think that would make him look.

No trust, no relationship. It's plain and simple

I don't agree with him and his ways, but you weren't innocent in the matter. It doesn't matter how many times you cheated compared to him. Infidelity is infidelity, no other way around it. If you can't communicate then there is no point to being in a relationship

If I had the power to do the merging(hint hint JK) I would, I know Tal will come along and do it soon enough.

This relationship is beyond broken, the OP needs to realize that