Ask Me Help Desk - Jolienore Sticky comments.

How do you go about getting back on track when you are living together but are apart emotionally and physically?

I just saw this

Thank you

I am always so troubled with what I already know is true

You would think I was naïve but I am just heartbroken.

Quote:

Originally Posted by jolienoire

How to get him/her back..

Ha, if you are reading this it means you are hoping you can win a loved one back. You are desperately seeking solutions in which you already know the answers to. You want to show them how big of a mistake they made. How foolish they were. How you were the best thing that ever happened to them.

You want them back, you can’t eat, sleep, think… concentrate your lonely frustrated desperate.. Checking your phone every 5 minutes, logging on to myspace/face book reading old text messages over and over again. Saying how could he/she?

Looking at pictures, and remembering the great sex and emotional connections that you shared. The arguments, the I love you the constant assurance of “you are the one”.

There were signs but you ignored them, perhaps they stopped saying I love you, they stopped calling, stop doing all the things they used to do in the beginning. You brushed it off making excuses blaming yourself for loving them to much. You basically become blind to the reality that this relationship is nearing an end. How can you expect a relationship to stay exactly the same as it was in the beginning when you grow day by day? Some people grow apart as they grow older some grow together in any situation growing means changing. As long as we grow we will always be out of our comfort zone. Nothing will ever be just right there will always be challenges, obstacles, and not so perfect conditions. Life is change, growth is optional make a choice and choose wisely. Change is inevitable and growth is intentional. All movement is not forward but sometimes you have to take a step back to see a clearer picture, this step is coming to acceptance that this relationship was not meant to be.

You have to be true to yourself and realize that if you can’t put your heart in it take yourself out of it. Sometimes letting go allows you to see if it was worth holding on to. Confidence doesn’t come from having all the answers it comes from being open to all the questions..

The truth is everyone should compel themselves to loneliness occasionally, because most of your greatest achievements and thoughts come from loneliness. When you have a clear mind, and can evaluate your true self without the disruption of life minor fallbacks. Stop regretting the past and fearing the future..

Live and instead of trying to figure out how to get him/her back focus on getting yourself back. Be thankful for finding love, embrace who you are. If we can put as much as we do into our relationships as much as we put into ourselves than we will realize that no one can ever love us as much as we love ourselves.. Therefore we are responsible for our own happiness.

So to answer the question how do I get them back? Look in the mirror the change and the beginning and end starts with yourself. It starts with acceptance, confidence, change, growth…It starts with realizing there is no such thing as perfect circumstances only accepting to see imperfections as a perfect part of living. Living is learning, learning is growing, growing means change, change is the beginning and the beginning reflects the ending…

Say to yourself, I love me, I am the mason of my dreams, I am going to love myself enough to know that ignoring someone else issues is me settling. I will not settle. I will improve myself first. I will understand how difficult it is to change myself, I will realize how difficult it is to change others. I realize that there is no such thing as perfect conditions. I will take each day at a time, and not fear my future. I will not regret my past, for it has made me who I am today . I will love myself first! And most importantly I will continue to be the best me I can be. Remember that we all human it takes a step back to see the clearer picture. I will not continue to make the same mistakes. I will learn from my mistake. I will accept loneliness as a blueprint to my success ahead and build my future based on my past. I will not look back but look ahead to brighter days. Now that I am on my path I will thank all those who have made me who I am today.

Wow damn
I never really looked at it that way
I was told to, but in this way
This is cool
Only if I could have this in some way I could read it more often to get me on track when things get hard
Good word choice

The Apostle Paul said it best:
1 Corinthians 7 (New International Version)

1 Corinthians 7 - Marriage

1Now for the matters you wrote about: It is good for a man not to marry.[a] 2But since there is so much immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman her own husband. 3The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. 4The wife's body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband's body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife. 5Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. 6I say this as a concession, not as a command. 7I wish that all men were as I am. But each man has his own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that.

8Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I am. 9But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.

10To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband. 11But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife.

12To the rest I say this (I, not the Lord): If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her. 13And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. 14For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy.

15But if the unbeliever leaves, let him do so. A believing man or woman is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace. 16How do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or, how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?

26Because of the present crisis, I think that it is good for you to remain as you are. 27Are you married? Do not seek a divorce. Are you unmarried? Do not look for a wife. 28But if you do marry, you have not sinned; and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned. But those who marry will face many troubles in this life, and I want to spare you this.

29What I mean, brothers, is that the time is short. From now on those who have wives should live as if they had none; 30those who mourn, as if they did not; those who are happy, as if they were not; those who buy something, as if it were not theirs to keep; 31those who use the things of the world, as if not engrossed in them. For this world in its present form is passing away.

32I would like you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord's affairs—how he can please the Lord. 33But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world—how he can please his wife— 34and his interests are divided. An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord's affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world—how she can please her husband. 35I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord.

36If anyone thinks he is acting improperly toward the virgin he is engaged to, and if she is getting along in years and he feels he ought to marry, he should do as he wants. He is not sinning. They should get married. 37But the man who has settled the matter in his own mind, who is under no compulsion but has control over his own will, and who has made up his mind not to marry the virgin—this man also does the right thing. 38So then, he who marries the virgin does right, but he who does not marry her does even better.[b]

39A woman is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to marry anyone she wishes, but he must belong to the Lord. 40In my judgment, she is happier if she stays as she is—and I think that I too have the Spirit of God.

Quote:

Originally Posted by jolienoire

How to get him/her back..

Ha, if you are reading this it means you are hoping you can win a loved one back. You are desperately seeking solutions in which you already know the answers to. You want to show them how big of a mistake they made. How foolish they were. How you were the best thing that ever happened to them.

You want them back, you can’t eat, sleep, think… concentrate your lonely frustrated desperate.. Checking your phone every 5 minutes, logging on to myspace/face book reading old text messages over and over again. Saying how could he/she?

Looking at pictures, and remembering the great sex and emotional connections that you shared. The arguments, the I love you the constant assurance of “you are the one”.

There were signs but you ignored them, perhaps they stopped saying I love you, they stopped calling, stop doing all the things they used to do in the beginning. You brushed it off making excuses blaming yourself for loving them to much. You basically become blind to the reality that this relationship is nearing an end. How can you expect a relationship to stay exactly the same as it was in the beginning when you grow day by day? Some people grow apart as they grow older some grow together in any situation growing means changing. As long as we grow we will always be out of our comfort zone. Nothing will ever be just right there will always be challenges, obstacles, and not so perfect conditions. Life is change, growth is optional make a choice and choose wisely. Change is inevitable and growth is intentional. All movement is not forward but sometimes you have to take a step back to see a clearer picture, this step is coming to acceptance that this relationship was not meant to be.

You have to be true to yourself and realize that if you can’t put your heart in it take yourself out of it. Sometimes letting go allows you to see if it was worth holding on to. Confidence doesn’t come from having all the answers it comes from being open to all the questions..

The truth is everyone should compel themselves to loneliness occasionally, because most of your greatest achievements and thoughts come from loneliness. When you have a clear mind, and can evaluate your true self without the disruption of life minor fallbacks. Stop regretting the past and fearing the future..

Live and instead of trying to figure out how to get him/her back focus on getting yourself back. Be thankful for finding love, embrace who you are. If we can put as much as we do into our relationships as much as we put into ourselves than we will realize that no one can ever love us as much as we love ourselves.. Therefore we are responsible for our own happiness.

So to answer the question how do I get them back? Look in the mirror the change and the beginning and end starts with yourself. It starts with acceptance, confidence, change, growth…It starts with realizing there is no such thing as perfect circumstances only accepting to see imperfections as a perfect part of living. Living is learning, learning is growing, growing means change, change is the beginning and the beginning reflects the ending…

Say to yourself, I love me, I am the mason of my dreams, I am going to love myself enough to know that ignoring someone else issues is me settling. I will not settle. I will improve myself first. I will understand how difficult it is to change myself, I will realize how difficult it is to change others. I realize that there is no such thing as perfect conditions. I will take each day at a time, and not fear my future. I will not regret my past, for it has made me who I am today . I will love myself first! And most importantly I will continue to be the best me I can be. Remember that we all human it takes a step back to see the clearer picture. I will not continue to make the same mistakes. I will learn from my mistake. I will accept loneliness as a blueprint to my success ahead and build my future based on my past. I will not look back but look ahead to brighter days. Now that I am on my path I will thank all those who have made me who I am today.

What do I tell her

Know what Jolie Noire your right. For the past 4 days I been desperate to get my girl back. But now I see that instead of getting her back by texting her and caling her I'm probably just pushing her away more and more. Thanks for oenig my eyes!!

Have anyone ever hooked back up wth their ex

How long did you go without no contact?

Thanks for posting this! Hope it is OK if I printed it off and post it where I can read it all day long...

I need to boost my selfesstem

This was wonderfully written... I love it

Thanks

People are scared of looooong term relationships eh??

People are scared of looooong term relationships eh??

I don't agree with the read

There all things I tried but nothing else

This is exactly what I need to do. I hope it isn't to late

Wow I really like what u had to say. U inspired me.

Thanks

I am trying so hard... my husband of over 20 years started to text his x from all those years ago when we were going through some what stale times. Total neglect on both parts. This emotional affair went on for two weeks when I knew something was wrong. I took this up immediately an he denied anyone else was the problem . To cut a long story short I found out about the texting which by now was 1 months every day thing. ( No sex involved due to distance ) . We discussed separation but this didn't happen and we agreed to try harder. The little spark came back and things were better than ever. At least I thought so unti I found out he was still texting. I was devastated. Did all the things you shouldn't do, ran after him , spoiled him etc etc. Pleaded my complete love. In other words I couldn't stand losing him. I feel ugly, unloved and dirty. I still can't leave, I just can't bring myself to do this.
He told me last week that the contact was over and I believe him. But he seems so distant, even though he doesn't want me to leave. However, I need to be held , told that he cares, but he won't talk. The only thing we do together is train ( run 10km etc ) and hug at night. I know I some of the problem was caused by me but I am worried that he now thinks more of her than me. She dumped him twice before we met and I know he loved her then. Wha should I do I am so confused, sad and scared. I should also mention that when I met him I moved to a foreign country, had to learn the language to fit in. This was hard ut it taught me to take control of my life. The one thing he dislikes about me is that I have to have control, know everything and etc etc. This is not true as I always try to do things he will like. I have just learned to take initiative. Right now I hate myself and don't know what to do. Can anyone help me?

I am a male 21 years old who has cheated on my g/f while she was out of town then realized that it was a huge mistake and didn't tell her then she found out by seeing old messages from the girl in my email I didn't want to tell her because I knew it would hurt her and now I'm scared she's never going to come back she says she loves me enough to let me try to do nice things for her to get back in her good graces I feel like just pouring my heart out but she is so mad that she inturupts it with venting which she has every right to vent her anger on me for the thing I have done, what is something I can do that's quick and not much talking that will show her I really do care and love her more than any other human being on this earth ? She likes to read and I just bought her a book from Amazon for christmas this girl,
If I lose this girl I'm am an idiot she is really something special she goes to school makes a's in colledge and is a very well driving individual please can someone help me

Of all the things I have read, trying to find my mistakes, trying to find a way to mend all that is broken in my love life. This is the best I have read. It is christmas, I miss him, he hasn't called, but reading this just made me heart sing. Thank you, thank you, thank you. You just made my day, my year

The reference to Obama was nonsensical.

This is great... I wish I believe more in myself rather than follow and go with my heart that lead me to what doesn't matter and someone who don't care about me (which I can clearly c) look at my story and tell me what you think and honest opinion. I honestly cried after reading this... one min I am mess and don't know who I am and the next minute I force myself to be strong and to look ahead and think of myself but I keep being miserable and feeling so much hurt and pain inside - Sometimes I feel like I am the only one who know what I am going tru... Truly I can't even thinking straight - I think I am messing my own life and I don't know what else to do.