And it's also not just about changing.. it's about the fact that we want totally different things. He wants to bring up his children as Muslims. He still doesn't agree with most of the things I want to do (like the whole clubbing thing and wearing clothes I want etc) so that would still cause a massive rift between us, the arguments would go on and on and even if I did go clubbing think how he'd be feeling? WHY DOES THIS HAVE TO HAPPEN He is not a bad person!! I love him so much! He is in so much pain right now and so am I and GOD I don't know what to do! Things were really rubbish before when we were together, and I'm just not convinced that they could ever get better!!

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Originally Posted by eveamee09

Yes I am really rather confused too. I am so lost with all this. A part of me really wants to give him another chance but I am so scared as I don't think he could definitely change.. I don't know.. I feel so sick right now and can't stop crying :( GRRRRRRR But people don't change right? That's what you've all been telling me :(

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Sometimes they try to change. I'm so sad for you and for him. What does your heart tell you? What does your head tell you? You are ultimately going to have to make the decision. Can you picture your life without him? What if you do give him another chance and he changes?
What if he doesn't? Ten years from now where do you think you'll be?
You are miserable right now and so is he. When was the last time you were truly happy?

I'm only asking you this because if there is any chance this could work out and he would change could you be happy again? His religion is a great part of his life. You wouldn't ask him to change that. He has been brought up that way and that will be one obstacle that would be hard to overcome. Katie... Do a lot of soul searching. You are on your way to being free. Do you want this?

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Originally Posted by Kitkat22

Sometimes they try to change. I'm so sad for you and for him. What does your heart tell you? What does your head tell you? You are ultimately going to have to make the decision. Can you picture your life without him? What if you do give him another chance and he changes?
What if he doesn't? Ten years from now where do you think you'll be?
You are miserable right now and so is he. When was the last time you were truly happy?

I'm only asking you this because if there is any chance this could work out and he would change could you be happy again? His religion is a great part of his life. You wouldn't ask him to change that. He has been brought up that way and that will be one obstacle that would be hard to overcome. Katie...Do a lot of soul searching. You are on your way to being free. Do you want this?

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Kit, I am soul-searching right now. It is hard but I am taking all those questions into account and trying to work out what I really want. I think I also need to listen to my own head and heart and stop trying to please other people, such as my family and my best friend. I need to please myself and do what is best for me. Thank you.

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Originally Posted by eveamee09

Kit, I am soul-searching right now. It is hard but I am taking all those questions into account and trying to work out what I really want. I think I also need to listen to my own head and heart and stop trying to please other people, such as my family and my best friend. I need to please myself and do what is best for me. Thank you.

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Yes you do. I hate it when someone is hurting and especially if I think maybe I had something to do with it. It's so easy for me to be in one part of the world giving you advice on a man I don't even know. It's easy on the other threads when someone is being abused or cheated on.
I know how to address those.

The more I know of how you feel about him and him about you... I'm just as confused as you are. Listen to your own feelings... the pros and cons... Hugs... Kit

I read what you wrote Katie and I felt so guilty for telling you or encouraging you to go ahead with this, I did though think it was what you wanted, now I see it wasn't, and yes as Kits said we may have thought we gave you good advice, but then again we aren't you, or living your life.

He might change he's young enough to, and if he does love you and you him then I also believe everyone deserves a 2nd chance, I put my own prejudices and how it was for me onto you, and I am really sorry I did that.

You have to live your life for you, you still have what's in this thread to use for guidance, however if you want to give him a 2nd chance who am I to say you cant.

Im so sorry you are hurting so bad I really am.

If you do go back to him then I do recommend some counselling Im sure that would be good for you both..

You have to do what is best for you! I've given a lot of advice on this site and sometimes I wonder if I'm right... but on the advice I've given.. I tell them what I think is good advice. I've never second guessed myself.

With your situation, I don't know. It's up to you.

Thanks to you both. Like I said, I am going to do a lot of deep thinking for a while and work on myself and decide what it is that would make ME feel happy. I do love him to bits and if I decide that he is what will make me happy, then so be it. My mind is pretty clouded with emotions at the minute and I feel very confused and a bit worried about all the what-ifs, like what if I do decide to go back, then how will all the people who have supported me actually feel, and what if it's the wrong decision and I end up at square one again in a few months' time? But this is all too much to consider for tonight, otherwise my brain will explode. It's just so much pressure!

Please don't feel guilty, you have not pushed me into doing anything, you have just helped me and said what you felt was best at the time. I am very grateful for that and would hate for you to feel guilty. Marianne and Kit, I feel that both of you are two of the only people I can speak to honestly at the moment and share my feelings with, so I thank you for this. I know I say thank you a lot but it's because I really mean it!

I am going out for a walk now with my Nanny and Grandad to get some fresh air. Speak soon

Hi Marianne, thanks for the like, I am going on Ebuddy so if you're around...


I am scared. What if we decide to see each other slowly and gradually again but still lead our own lives how we please, but a few weeks/months down the line it doesn't feel right for me so it has to end again? How can I put him through all of that AGAIN? It might kill him! I'm more worried about his feelings than my own in this. I know that I could cope with things that will happen, but I don't know if he could. I could cope with taking it slow to see if things will work out, and if they don't then staying broken up, but I don't know if he could cope with that.

He looked so ill and tired when I saw him, I feel so guilty and responsible for his feelings. This is so much pressure on me, it's immense. I feel like I am in charge of somebody elses' feelings, and that every move I make will either make them happy (temporarily?) or devastate them. It's too much pressure. I feel like I'm going to explode! What makes it worse is that I feel like everyone would be frowning down upon me. Especially my best friend, she would be SO disappointed I know it, and really quite resentful. She has stuck by me SO much and listened to me going on about him all the time and say how "sure I was about my decision", so how could I now tell her that I'm doubting the decision and considering actually seeing him again? It's all so bizarre.

And him, I feel like I want to talk to him to discuss what we're going to do about this, but I also feel like his feels are so fragile that I need to be sure that he is what I want before I start talking to him again, as it would cause him more pain if I pulled away at a later date. I HATE THIS!

There is nothing wrong with taking all the time you need to make a life changing decision. There are many emotional risks involved to just jump into something just to try and spare the feelings of others.

Healing is needed, plain and simple so this can be a decision made with clarity, and understanding, as you would give up a lot to make him happy, but you may not be happy later. That will never work, if you start resenting the changes it takes to raise his children the way he wants to.

Maybe it helps to find out just what that would mean for you since its more than losing your right to club, and wear what you please to.

Have you met his parents? His family? If so, how were you received?

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Originally Posted by talaniman

There is nothing wrong with taking all the time you need to make a life changing decision. There are many emotional risks involved to just jump into something just to try and spare the feelings of others.

Healing is needed, plain and simple so this can be a decision made with clarity, and understanding, as you would give up a lot to make him happy, but you may not be happy later. That will never work, if you start resenting the changes it takes to raise his children the way he wants to.

Maybe it helps to find out just what that would mean for you since its more than losing your right to club, and wear what you please to.

Have you met his parents? His family?? If so, how were you received?

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[By the way, I feel a bit guilty for going on and on about myself on here... sorry if people are feeling fed up by all this.. I know my family and friends probably are so even if you don't read what I've written I am still grateful for this site as it gives me somewhere to write and express my feelings. If you do read it then thanks in advance, and if not then I do understand]

Yes I agree that time is needed and a clearer mind in order to decide what is best. Right now it's all a bit of a confused jumble. Also it doesn't help that practically every person I speak to has a different opinion on the subject and all think I should do different things!

I'm not sure if it would be losing my right to club or wear what I please. I called him last night you see and this is what made me start to change my mind, and I haven't posted what happened on here yet because it was quite an intimate and personal conversation so at the time I emailed Marianne what happened instead. I could post a bit of it on here I suppose, it's quite deep but I suppose nobody here actually knows who I am so it doesn't really matter:

"He told me that his love for me is so true and so real, and that if I was in a wheelchair he would take care of me, look after me and cherish me until the day I die. He said that nobody can understand how much he loves me, and that he has been completely and utterly wrong in the way he's treated me. He said that it was only when he felt that he'd lost me over this past month that he realised how important I am, how awful he's been and how much he desperately wants to change and become a better person. He said that everything he's ever done has been with the best of care and intentions and that he didn't realise how bad he was being, but that he realises now upon much reflection how wrong he was and how trying to control another person is detremental and wrong and hurtful and unkind. He also said that he accepts that humans have needs, and that through all his soul-searching he has realised that chosing not to sleep with me anymore was incredibly painful for both of us and even though he felt it was right at the time (because he didn't know any better), now he realises that it was the incorrect decision to make.

He said that making love with me is what makes him truly happy, and that he cannot think of another single thing that would make him happier. He said that when he looks into my eyes he feels the most incredible feelings and knows that all he wants to do is make me happy and love me forever. He says that he's been taking me for granted, has been miserable with other areas of his life so has not paid enough attention to what is important, and feels so sorry for what has happened.

He also said that we need to both separately work on our selves and discover and become our own person. The mistake we made by rushing into this relationship was that we weren't sure who we were in the first place, so used eachother in order to judge and base our ideas on and didn't work on becoming our own individual people first. We agreed that we need to spend time working on ourselves and discovering what makes each of us happy, and then see if once we've done that there is a chance that we could come together and talk about our feelings and what we want in life and see if then we are compatible. He said his love for me would never die, and that I am the only woman on the whole of the earth who he wants to love and be with. But despite this he mentioned that we both would still have some resentment towards the other, me because of the way he's been to me in the past and him because of the way my decisions in the past month have hurt him, and how today especially has hurt him. "

So there you go. That is what I am working with at the moment. It seems that he is desperate for change and to improve himself too. I don't quite know what to do about this. Working on ourselves for now seems the best thing.

I was very accepted by his family. His Mum still wants to remain my good friend no matter what happens and has always been there for me. She is English by the way. Since this whole break thing though his Father's (Egyptian) side have taken a dislike to me (understandable as they've seen the state he has been in) and keep telling him to move on and that they'll get him married to the most beautiful Muslim woman in Egypt. I have to say that that did quite make me laugh.

Talaniman has mentioned some valid points, so far all he's done is tell you not to wear bikinis and not to go clubbing, he also cut off the sex side of your relationship, that's a huge CONTROL thing.

So as has been said what if you stay with him and get married, and have children you said he wants to raise his kids as Muslims, do you know what that will entail, and where your position is going to be in regards to that aspect, in that culture I believe women are considered below camels, as in they're not treated as equals far from it, Im not totally sure but I think they're allowed more than wife.

Your children will grow up treating you like some servant can you cope with that, you won't have any say in their education, discipline, beliefs, nothing you'll be no more than a brood mare.

Plus what's to say he won't take them out of the country, you'll have no rights to stop him.

You'll be no more than a free housekeeper cook bottle washer and slave. ( OK not quite so drastic)

Just checked yes polygamy is allowed in their religion.

So you could be replaced.

Talk is cheap don't forget and actions speak louder than words.

JMO

And how does his English mother deal with the cultural differences she has encountered. Did she convert? Was he raised a strict Muslim? Or is he "westernized"? When is he expecting you to have children, and when do you want children? Are you on a career path? What are your goals for yourself, and where do YOU want to be in 10 years? What do your parents think?

I have learnt so much about myself during this break, especially that I am actually a really strong person and am very capable of looking after myself. I truly think that I would never let a man tell me what to do or control me again because of what I have been through. Like if there was the slightest hint of him becoming controlling again, then that would be it.

I believe that he wants to change. I'm still doubtful of whether he can physically do that, but like you said, doesn't everybody deserve a second chance? To at least try? To have a chance to prove himself and show me that he means what he says and respects my freedom and right to make my own decisions? I feel like I need to be fair and give him a chance. Not in the sense of jumping straight back into a deep relationship, but the chance over time and months and talking and understanding and observing how he is. I don't know.

His Mother divorced his Dad after 6 years. She married him when she was 18, moved to Egypt, converted to Islam, then divorced him and moved back to England because she was too "westernized" as you said, and couldn't conform to the Egyptian culture.

You have to remember though that there is no way I am EVER converting to Islam, moving to Egypt or being forced into any religion or anything. I am my own person and he is beginning to respect that. He has lived in England since the age of 7, looks very English (very pale skin and British-looking) and so has spent most of his time experiencing the British way of life (he went clubbing and used to drink and behave relatively normally). I think he's just pretty confused about who he is and which way is the right way.

Hi Katie what reason has he to have any resentment towards you for not wanting to remain in a relationship where you were not allowed to be yourself around him, you didn't do that to him he did it to you, and if he is going to make unrealistic demands then he has to expect some objections and if he resents them then he should do something about it, and stop himself being that way, You didn't do that HE DID.

That's him failing to accept responsibility.

That's also him laying a guilt trip on you, with you mentioning that aspect, I am now thinking he isn't going to change, because he's already avoiding taking responsibility.

Had he maybe said he can understand why you've been how you are, that would have been a different thing. But he's telling you he is going to have resentment for making you unhappy and you ending it.

Putting the blame squarely on you...

Katie I have to go do my counselling for a couple of hours, Ill be back by about 3:30pm, Ill text you when Im home so if you want to chat we can. Im taking my 4 yr old Stephen with me, he loves playing with the children in the refuge and often takes a toy or 2 for them LOL awwwwwwwww he's so cute...

Its group session so not so intense.

Nonono I've said it all wrong. That was what he said at one point, but I think I took it in the wrong context - he actually DID say that he accepted responsibility for his actions, was sorry, realised they were wrong and that he COULD understand why I've done this and why I've been so upset. He said that he must have hurt me very much for me to want to leave him like this, and that the fact I want to leave him has made him deeply question his own actions, behaviour and way he's been.

I know he accepts responsibility, sorry it's just so hard to remember every little detail of things he's said and to convey aspects on here in the wrong way.

He's not putting the blame on me, he said that he understands what's happened, but that yesterday was quite traumatic and that's why he feels so upset about the whole thing. But that he gets why I've been like this and understand that it's his fault and that he is the one who has caused me to want to leave.

Sorry, do you see what I mean now?

Okay enjoy yourself and I hope Stephen enjoys playing with the children too! Speak later :)

I will say he is hardly a fellow that's ready for the responsibly of marriage as he seems to be trying to find himself right now. Confused people make lousy partners, and are themselves capable of confusing YOU.

I think you let the dust settle for a while while he does that, without your influence. The last thing anyone needs is a partner for life that starts one way, and makes promises they fully intend to keep, but cannot.

I see a big red flag in the way he deals with differences as mature coupes talk together, to work together, and not arbitrarily make decisions that their partner doesn't fully understand. Most couples after a break up think they can go slow and see if things work out without resolving any issues of contention between them. That never works, as it may be fun all over again, but no communications is done, and the old problems are not resolved.

I also think you are further along the maturity ladder, and would resent him from not expressing his inner thoughts, simply because they are still forming, within him, and that's what's at the heart of this disconnect now I feel, as he has to find out what he will do for himself before he can tell you.

He needs time, plain and simple, and its obvious that you recognize that and give it to him. In healthy couples, they develop that talk before actions mentality, that allows them to put their feelings, wants, and needs on the table, BEFORE they act on them. While love is a powerful emotion, and he may be dedicated for now, the only real test of any couple is how they deal with the hard times, and the work together when life and realities throw you curves, and reversals that require a lot of communications and sacrifice. (like you go clubbing, but not in a bikini, LOL! )

The biggest question to me is not how much he has to change, and can he, but what changes, and adjustments you are willing to consider?

As I said, this is a life changing decision, and you both need clarity of thought to make it. Going with the flow is one thing, resolving issues in a mature way is another. Religious and cultural differences are only a barrier when there is no room for compromise, but confusion is not a way to have a healthy long term relationship. Until he can define himself, you will never define the both of you.

Everything you've said has made complete and utter sense. A lot of sense.

"Until he can define himself, you will never define the both of you."

He needs to find himself. He needs to work out who he is, and what he wants. He is definitely very confused right now as you said, and him being confused is just making me confused.

I will give him time. I will also give him space. To be honest I think he could really benefit from some counselling (it's benefitted me greatly in the past) and it would do him some good to talk about his feelings with somebody mutual who can help him work out who he is. I might suggest that to him, in a non-patronising way.

Thanks Talaniman. Those are some wise words! You should post on here more often lol. I will take everything you've said very much into consideration. I will think about the question you've raised about what changes and adjustments I am willing to consider, as that is an important one. Thanks again.

I am going away for a trip with my best friend now. I am feeling very positive about this. Him and I are going to go our separate ways and work on OURSELVES, alone, in order to become stronger and happier people. It will take time but it will be worth it when we get there. I am going to have fun, do everything I want to do that fulfills me and feel happy that he is also mending and trying hard to enjoy himself too. This is the best thing for both of us. We are going to work out who we are before we consider taking any other bigger steps.

Speak to you soon, enjoy your days! And thanks again for everything :)

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Originally Posted by eveamee09

I am going away for a trip with my best friend now. I am feeling very positive about this. Him and I are going to go our separate ways and work on OURSELVES, alone, in order to become stronger and happier people. It will take time but it will be worth it when we get there. I am going to have fun, do everything I want to do that fulfills me and feel happy that he is also mending and trying hard to enjoy himself too. This is the best thing for both of us. We are going to work out who we are before we consider taking any other bigger steps.

Speak to you soon, enjoy your days! And thanks again for everything :)

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Bye Eveamee... Hope you find happiness

Have a good time. Don't forget the sunscreen...

I think Talaniman made some excellent points and gave great advice.

Katie you are being very mature and accommodating in all of this.

Good Luck and have a good time away..

Hi guys, how is everyone? I've arrived back home from my trip today, although rather unexpectedly early as I had a bit of a problem with my eyes yesterday so had to go to Accident & Emergency at the hospital to have all that sorted out! Luckily my best friend was there with me and I'm feeling much better now so glad that's all sorted!

Thanks for your above messages. Nothing more to update you on really, I am still doing what I said in my last post and probably will be doing that for a while... obviously I worry about him daily (especially when he rang me in a bit of a panicky state not knowing what to do with himself) but a couple of nights ago (the last time we talked) I told him about how important it was for us to learn to cope with our feelings alone (and with friends/family) from now on and get through the hard times without contacting each other, as that's just temporary relief from what is really going to be a permanent situation. I'm almost wishing the days away and hoping that in a few weeks he'll feel better and begin to feel happier and heal properly, but that can't really be rushed and I think I need to sort of stop hoping that we'll get back together and instead focus on getting us both to a stage where we could happily live one way OR the other, instead of almost anticipating some kind of joyful reunion.

It's hard though, as before I met him on Tuesday I was SURE it was over, and since Tuesday I've had this hope in the back of my mind and almost made a decision that when the time is right in the future we'll come together to talk and discuss and work it out and see if we can try again. I know that's bad, but it's comforting! I suppose there's always the chance that he might not even WANT to as by that stage he'll be over it and have been hurt too much to go back to it all... but who knows. This is hard!

For the time being distraction is the key! BBQ tonight and going to make some plans for dancing in the week! Trying to keep busy :) x

Hi Katie wow that was a quick holiday or was it just a spur of the moment thing?

Been great weather though, so you picked the right time to go.

Just play it by ear one day at a time, and your inner voice will help guide you.

Anyway Pleased you're back. Have a good time at BarBQue.

Speak soon...

Hey Marianne. Yes it was just a short break to show Catherine around my University! Glad you're well, yes the weather's fantastic! Been sunbathing in the garden all day in my favourite bikini, hehe! Hope you're been enjoying it too.

Not sure if you received my email, but I'm feeling more positive today and am so pleased I managed to fight the urge to call him! I was actually hunting around for my phone in a bit of a state yesterday but luckily I couldn't find it so went to Catherine's house instead. Very glad about that. I'll think of that next time I have the urge!

Best wishes and hope you're okay too Kit :) x

Hi Katie, received your email haven't got around to replying yet, will do though later.

Anyway I am pleased you're over the bad time of earlier, and Ill always be around if you ever need me you know how to contact me in a hurry so do that anytime you feel you need urgent help, Im only a text away.

You're doing really well so don't despair this will get easier.

Yes I too have been enjoying the sun, spend most of the day in the pool, keeping cool. Loving this weather love the sunshine.

In case Katie comes to the site, I hope you're doing OK, and coming to terms with all that's gone on with you and your b/f of late.

You know you can still come here and get things off your chest anytime you want to, we are always here for you.

Also you know how to contact me if you need some support and Im offline, you have my number, text anytime.

Hope you're OK, let us know how its going.

Im assuming no news is good news .

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Originally Posted by positiveparent

Incase Katie comes to the site, I hope youre doing OK, and coming to terms with all thats gone on with you and your b/f of late.

You know you can still come here and get things off your chest anytime you want to, we are always here for you.

Also you know how to contact me if you need some support and Im offline, you have my number, text anytime.

Hope youre OK, let us know how its going.

Im assuming no news is good news .

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Hello Marianne,

Nice to hear from you. I'm okay thank you, getting by, slowly but surely! It's a rather long story since we last spoke but basically him and I agreed to gradually give it another try and take our time with things, and then exactly 4 days after we met up for our first day out he did something completely ridiculous that I won't even go in to, but that spelled out to me that he is not right for me at this moment in time and that even though he's trying to change things like his aggression towards other men he's just not quite capable of it. He doesn't even see that he has got an aggression problem that's as serious as it is. See, on top of all these other controlling issues, there's also this one. So I refused to speak to him after that day that he did this silly thing, he came round to the house a few days later to try to talk to me but I told him that it was over and even though he got upset, my Mum told him to go. He did then go but sent me a birthday card on my birthday and best wishes and that he respected my decision to break contact and not be together anymore.

It was 2 weeks ago today that the incident happened and a week since my birthday, and I'm actually okay. I think about him and our memories all the time and miss him a lot but I've changed my phone number and have come to terms with the fact that enough is enough now - we are not right for each other. I am hoping now that he will refrain from trying to contact me (he hasn't tried so far) and that he's accepted it's over and we can both just move on.

So yes, that's where I'm at. A bit teary at times but actually rather positive, I think this is the right decision, I was doubting everything a few weeks ago as my previous posts show but after this thing that happened I'm sure and feel better for it. Am spending my time meeting up with friends, starting new dance classes (salsa on Sunday!) and my new volunteer work starts on Monday. So the future is bright! Holiday to Spain in August and then Uni in September, I have a lot to look forward to. I am being positive Marianne, you'd be pleased! Haha!

I hope you're well too and that your family are okay. Are you enjoying your summer so far? And Kit, you're also still about? I haven't spoken to Kit in ages either! I speak to Prowaker quite a lot on Facebook and he's doing fine (girlfriend of 4 years broke up with him, remember?) He's getting on quite well in case you were interested to know.

Thanks for your wishes, I'll come back on here soon. Katie :)

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Originally Posted by eveamee09

Hello Marianne,

Nice to hear from you. I'm okay thank you, getting by, slowly but surely! It's a rather long story since we last spoke but basically him and I agreed to gradually give it another try and take our time with things, and then exactly 4 days after we met up for our first day out he did something completely ridiculous that I won't even go in to, but that spelled out to me that he is not right for me at this moment in time and that even though he's trying to change things like his aggression towards other men he's just not quite capable of it. He doesn't even see that he has got an aggression problem that's as serious as it is. See, on top of all these other controlling issues, there's also this one. So I refused to speak to him after that day that he did this silly thing, he came round to the house a few days later to try to talk to me but I told him that it was over and even though he got upset, my Mum told him to go. He did then go but sent me a birthday card on my birthday and best wishes and that he respected my decision to break contact and not be together anymore.

It was 2 weeks ago today that the incident happened and a week since my birthday, and I'm actually okay. I think about him and our memories all the time and miss him a lot but I've changed my phone number and have come to terms with the fact that enough is enough now - we are not right for each other. I am hoping now that he will refrain from trying to contact me (he hasn't tried so far) and that he's accepted it's over and we can both just move on.

So yes, that's where I'm at. A bit teary at times but actually rather positive, I think this is the right decision, I was doubting everything a few weeks ago as my previous posts show but after this thing that happened I'm sure and feel better for it. Am spending my time meeting up with friends, starting new dance classes (salsa on Sunday!) and my new volunteer work starts on Monday. So the future is bright! Holiday to Spain in August and then Uni in September, I have a lot to look forward to. I am being positive Marianne, you'd be pleased! Haha!!

I hope you're well too and that your family are okay. Are you enjoying your summer so far? And Kit, you're also still about?! I haven't spoken to Kit in ages either! I speak to Prowaker quite a lot on facebook and he's doing fine (girlfriend of 4 years broke up with him, remember?) He's getting on quite well incase you were interested to know.

Thanks for your wishes, I'll come back on here soon. Katie :)

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I'm so happy you're doing better. Good luck on the Salsa:D... Kit

Hello Katie and Happy Belated Birthday to you, so you're a Cancerian, I had a feeling you're a water sign, Im one too Scorpio, we are a good match. LOL go figure.

Im sorry you have had a hard time over these issues with the b/f and it's a small consolation, but I really do feel you have made the right choice and you did so on your own which is even better, I know we can advise you and suggest to you what to do but ultimately it has to be your own choice to make it or break it. Which you've now done.

So as hard as it may be to cope some days you now know yourself that this decsion is the right one, and it will definitely get easier.

Im pleased to hear you're doing well.

Im also fine been enjoying the sun we've had here in England of late in abundance. Im off on holiday soon, we go to San Tropez have a villa there, we normally spend about 6 weeks there. We will go towards end of Augst.

Anyway Katie great to hear from you, don't forget you can always contact me via text if you have any really down days. Or send email to me and Ill come online for a chat with you. Take care because we care, Thanks for the update. Marianne

Tell your Mum I said hello Please.

May I remind every one, this is not a chat or blog area, we are to be addressing questions, Please do not chit chat on the questions.

I am closing this one