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Quote:
Originally Posted by talaniman
Thank you talaniman, I am going to do that night that I have the AA directory... tonight was my 2nd night...
I know this may sound stupid, but nights are the hardest past 10 because I visualize someone having sex with her durning the night, and I toss and turn. Maybe its still feelings, but I WISH they would Leave! Grrrrr
Think of other things! Like being on the beach or some pleasant memories from childhood. Good luck dazedd!:)Quote:
Originally Posted by confused580
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kitkat22
Easier said then done lol, but thank you for that. I will try that
Also talk to God. He's on call 24/7. I'm very proud of you Dazed for starting AA. I'll be praying for you. I think you are going to like the person you find when you get sober. Blessings Dazed:):)Quote:
Originally Posted by confused580
Yup, its easy to say "easier said then done"
Those thoughts are just conjured up fantasies.
And believe me. Ive perpetuated enough of those.
Just put your mind in the things you know to be real. Like your next step.
Fantasize all you want though, man. Just about the good things to come.
Be patient & keep up the meetings.
Day 3 of Sobriety... WOW, last night talk about some WEIRD FREAKED OUT DREAMS & NIGHT- SWEATS!
I couldn't sleep, was tossing and turning, and kept waking up to wet clothes, my entire body was sweating... im hoping this was due to withdrawal, and not a more serious problem... My friend who was diagnosed with HIV had nights sweats.
I know my ex gets out of class at 9, and I Know I need to stop looking at my phone to see if she will call. I'm just so used to it..
Im going to 3 meetings a day, I purposley made one of those meetings at night so I won't drink during the day. I guess to volunteer for AA u have to be sober for 1 year, which should be obvious..
We'll see how this goes
I was also told to take a sleep-aid at night, that would get me over constantly thinking about the Ex at this time
Take nothing with out seeing a doctor. People in recovery often substitute one addiction for another to get them through. And be straight forward, and honest to the doctor, that your in recovery. None of that over the counter self medication.
You can do it dazed... Listen to talaniman. Hope you do this.:)Quote:
Originally Posted by talaniman
One day at a time.
Breaking old habits. Takes time.
Replacing them with good things. No matter what those are.
Ones that don't medicate but uplift.
Remember those days?
Keep those thoughts about how great your new life will be. And how strong you will become for sticking it out.
Good advice. Be strong Dazed. Better days are coming. You will love what being sober feels like. My nephew has been sober for two years now. He is going back to school and has started playing his guitar again and writing music. You can do the same:)Quote:
Originally Posted by vanheart
Didn't make it to AA today, didn't wake up until around 3pm, asi was coughing all night and with night sweats. I had wind symphony rehearsal a few hours after I woke up, and am just now getting home... thank goodness I didn't have the urge to stop by the store.
Go later. Just don't drink.
I'm still upset about the verbal abusive text messages I sent my ex while waisted last Wednesday on st. pattys day. I apologized for it, but she just didn't really accept it. But that's all I can do for now
Don't worry about that stuff.
That's in the past. Doesn't serve you one bit.
There's thoughts that feel good & then there's the other ones.
Don't stress about her.
580,
There's a couple things that you got to do.
Set some goals with sobriety. And the reasons.
Get a calendar and set that end point. Mark the milestones.
That will help you in the process. To feel good about reaching them, and striving to. After a while, you won't even need the calendar, you will have gotten there. That will be a part of history.
Do some digging within yourself.
Everything from childhood to now. Relationships. How you went about things so far. With everything.
Who are you now? Where to you want to be?
What change will feel like.
Quote:
Originally Posted by vanheart
Dazed.. she's not worried about you . Stop thinking up excuses to call her. You may disagree with this but you have started on the right path.Don't get derailed... :)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kitkat22
Kitkat thank you for reading my mind lol. And yes, I will stay on the right path. There's this girl who's trying to talk to me now, but I mentioned to her that I need to work out my alcohol issues first... She still wants to take me to dinner tomorrow, etc... She's coming to my wind symphony concert on Saturday, although I didn't want her to, so I hope she understands and realizes that this has to start VERY slow and get to be just regular good friends first while I work on myself. I will also stress to her not to wait on me, as I don't want someone to "hold on" while I get it together
Back to Kitkatt, of course my ex isn't worried, she's in class all day everyday and when not in class working, so she has No time to worry about me... I wish I was in the boat with a demanding schedule like that... that is what's called "keeping busy"... In September though, that will be me
Just be honest. With everything.
Did I mention about those ridiculous thoughts?
"she has No time to worry about me....I wish i was in the boat with a demanding schedule like that....that is whats called "keeping busy"
How are you keeping busy? By wondering if she is?
Quote:
Originally Posted by confused580
I just am so proud of you! I KNOW you can do this! Here is a big HUG for you and I mean that as friend. I'm old enough to be your mom, so I'll just talk to you like a mom.:)
Thank you Kitkatt :)Quote:
Originally Posted by Kitkat22
I don't know I'm so obsessed with this girl... Its maybe just that I can't picture no one else with her. Im just picturing her happy meeting the guy of her dreams, etc... I need to take my mind off that as u guys mentioned, and to work on myself to have a happy life
Yup. Why are you? One of lots of questions.
Good, man.
So my aunt called me over to watch movies tonight. She lives across the hall from my ex. I stated as long as my ex was not there, I would come. So I went, and my ex wasn't over my aunts.
I go to the store and head downstairs and see this new car in front of her place, and then the guy goes to her apt. My heart sunk... Anyway, I went back to my aunts, finished the movie and was leaving... BTW, my ex had no idea I was over there.
When I left, I heard them two going at it (sex), and I had an out of body experience... My heart COMPLETELY SANK... It sunk so bad, I did the unthinkable and sent her a text and said "You just screwed me 2 weeks ago!!!" and no reply.
I know this was stupid, my emotions went out of control, so I told my aunt I'm changing my number tomorrow.. She will have no future ways of getting in contact with me...
I know this girl ALL-TO-WELL... If she knew that I never knew about this, she would've contacted me eventually trying to meet, hook-up, etc...
All I can say is WOW... now I can't even sleep thinking about this... I keep tossing and turning visualizing this
Calm down, you made a mistake by texting her but oh well, it's human (I would probably kick her door and yell so it's not that bad... ) Making plans keeps me alive, maybe it can work for you.
You knew you could eventually run into her or "him" when you went there. You screwed up. It's fine. It hurts, it's normal. Try to sleep and if you really can't, put everything on a piece of paper. Make a plan. Try to stick to it.
You are making a huge progress, don't stop yourself.
Quote:
Originally Posted by pandead
Thank you for that man, I really appreciate it. Good to find someone else still up... and yes I DID feel like kicking the door down. We just had sex 2 weeks ago(dumb mistake of me) and already you are screwing... Like I said in my original post, obviously she was talking to someone else while talking to me... It hasn't even been a month yet, WOW...
But yeah I made a mistake, almost grabbed a drink on the way home, but I said you know what... nevermind I won't do that
Good job not hitting the bottle.
Could you give your sponsor a call?
Actually speaking to someone might be a good idea now.
As for your ex having somebody in her life,and possibly having gone behind your back while you were still together- that sucks,but you're going to have to move past it and keep moving on.
Quote:
Originally Posted by amicon
I'm getting a sponsor on Monday... I texted my ex and now she KNOWS that I know, so good rittens... She will never call me or text me again because now she knows that I know about tonight, so that's one less issue I will have to worry about from now on
Dude,
As sucky as that incident was, I hope you got a few lessons out of it.
Who she is, who you are & what you want & to avoid proximity with her.
Tell your aunt to come over to your place next time.
Don't set yourself up for heartache.
Ya, know I almost wish I would have heard my girlfriend banging her new boyfriend.
But I did that in my head. 5 days after she dumped I went NC.
For good.
Same difference. There's really only one thing you do when someone doesn't want you. No longer want them.
Don't let this affect the great things you are doing for yourself & the progress you are making. This isn't about her, or anyone else really, its about you.
There's good people out there, don't you worry.
Quote:
Originally Posted by vanheart
Yeah I usually don't stay up this late. I just took a sleep-aid... tired of tossing and turning... those images... AHHHHH GO AWAY images!
Sleep aids aren't part of sobriety. So, find your strength w/o those.
One thing to understand is that's already happened.
In the past now. Up to you to rid those thoughts & replace them with other ones.
Just keep on the path.
I have bouts with insomnia. But I roll w/it. And rock it, regardless.
Quote:
Originally Posted by vanheart
Was thinking of changing my number. The stupid part is I did that last September 2009, and someone from my family gave her my number. Now I'll look like the fool who constantly changes his number
If you want to change your number,that's your business-it doesn't matter what people think.
It might be a good
I've done that myself-it worked for me.
Idea.
Work out! Jog! I think your ex is a an alcoholic who will ptobably go home with anyone if she's had enough to drink. She needs help! YOU CAN'T give her the help she needs. She's going to have to hit rock bottom before she decides to do something. Don't get pulled back!:rolleyes:Quote:
Originally Posted by vanheart
About to change my phone number... im sick of this.
Good for you! Stay Strong!Quote:
Originally Posted by confused580
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kitkat22
Finally the number has changed :)
I figured it out. She was using me as a back-up in case this new flame didn't work... Now that her cover got blown, I hope she feels dumb. Now she has NO way of getting a hold of me... I stressed in the text message "please do NOT give this number out WITHOUT my permission
Good for you! If the Aunt wants to see you let her come to your house. Good Luck!:)Quote:
Originally Posted by confused580
Thanks
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kitkat22
I seem to be the laughing stock of my family... Everyone seems to find it amusing I changed my number. Their first response was "You and her must be into it again". I changed my number this past July when we broke up, then she got my number from my uncle, and then we got back together..
Maybe I shouldve just kept the same number, it really makes me look like I'm full of drama
You shouldn't worry about what everyone else thinks. Just you. This is for your own good, not there's.
To REMOVE the drama. Don't be influenced by negative crap.
Tell your uncle not to give it away this time...
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