Ask Me Help Desk - He lies about absolutely everything

Quote:

Originally Posted by amicon

Just leave that a l o n e-its not your problem. Concentrate on your own life and your happiness.

I'm going too amicon that's why I have not texted the woman when she asked me too, it just annoys me that I had proof and deleted it. She will probably take him back again and he will hurt her, I just like to try and help her but feel powerless to do so now I've deleted texts :mad::mad::mad:

Like I say she probably won't believe me even if I gave her the texts, she is in love with him and has blinkers on to his faults so I'm trying my best to too let this anger consume me, I suppose if there together or not its not my problem any longer it just makes me mad when this woman has been told by different people about him and don't listen

I just want to say thanks again for all your help, I've took some time out and went to see my nan who has terminal cancer and realised that I don't need a person like my ex in my life. I also realise that yes I was stupid to delete the texts he sent me asking me to get back with him etc but even if I didn't delete them I probably wouldn't want to show his ex anyway as I wouldn't want the agro it would bring.

I know I need to move on with my life and put this in the past, at least I didn't make a commitment to this guy and have kids with him at least I suppose, I always thought that there was something not quite right hence me never meeting him when he wanted too.

Its up to the other woman to decide how to handle her side of the situation, she has been told enough times but seems blinkered to him and his lies. I wish them both luck in the future especially the woman as if she gets back with him then she is certainly going to need it

Thanks again for all your help and advice, I'm going to live my life to the full, as they say you only have one shot at this xxxx

Wow! You sound like you have really made some progress in the last couple of days. Be aware that you may have hard days ahead. But you can weather them. If you have any temptation to text him, just focus on getting through a few hours by distracting yourself and the impulse will pass. I'm glad going to see your nan was helpful. I'm sure she was glad to see you too.

Don't go back with him. He has proven that he is unfaithful and a pathilogical liar. That is not good for any relationship. Go out meet new people. You are single and you should be dating. Not worrying about someone you broke up with. That you know was no good.

Quote:

Originally Posted by asking

Wow! You sound like you have really made some progress in the last couple of days. Be aware that you may have hard days ahead. But you can weather them. If you have any temptation to text him, just focus on getting through a few hours by distracting yourself and the impulse will pass. I'm glad going to see your nan was helpful. I'm sure she was glad to see you too.

Thanks asking, yeah I've really done a lot of thinking in the past couple of days, I've had my phone off for 2 whole days now which is good for me lol! I turned my phone on to see if id got any messages and a text had come through from my ex saying "tell matthew that he has done it now" matt was my friend who told the woman about his lies and cheating. I just looked at the message and thought "i can't be arsed even answering your text so bog off" I deleted the text and turned my phone off.

It does feel like a big weight has been lifted as with my phone being off all the time I don't have to worry about this guy and his many problems. When my friend spoke to him via his face book page my ex was just making a big joke out of everything. My friend told him he needs to see a mental health specialist if he feels the need to lie about cutting himself and being admitted in hospital plus the other hundreds of lies he has told but he just replied "yes il book myself in then lol"

I feel sorry for the ex, he is a very lonely person and has drove a lot of people away with his lies but this ex girlfriend of his will probably stand by him, that's her decision, I've done all I can to help so its up to them to sort there mess out. Ive got my nan to worry about and look after, she starts her radiotherapy on Fri and is very scared :(:(

Thanks again for being so kind to me, it took a few attempts to make me see sense but you got there in the end ;);) xxx

Take care-lighting a candle for your nan-good luck.

Thank you amicon, that means a lot to me. You are very kind xxx

Hope you stick around Ask Me Help Desk and continue to post. :)
Good thoughts for your nan.

Thanks asking - il stick around for sure. I won't lie - I'm hurting that I've been taken in by a liar but il get over it as I'm a better and nicer person than he will ever be. It just hurts that he said he loved me nearly everyday - I wonder if it was a lie or whether there was a little love there?? I suppose this is what happens when you give your heart to someone, there is always a risk of it getting trampled on eh!!

Thank you for your kind words on my nan, I was trying to stay positive for her and be there for her whilst taking the bull from my ex, the hurtful thing was, when I told him my nan had cancer and that I was distraught he didn't even text me back. That hurt me so so much and really showed me his true colours

Just a quick update, I'm on day 5 of NC and feel great, I've not even any thought of texting the jerk, this NC works wonders, I don't even care if the ex and his lady get back today as its not my problem anymore. My nans going for her radiotherapy tomorrow so all that is important is her to me at the mo

Thanks again for all your words of encouragement it means a lot, I've realised I don't need a cheat and iar in my life xxx

You must be off your rocker if you continue to associate yourself with this pondlife! End/

Quote:

Originally Posted by kappachino

You must be off your rocker if you continue to associate yourself with this pondlife!! End/

I don't know if you have read my posts but I'm well and truly finished with the pond scum, I have not contacted him for nearly week and I'm never going to contact him again. He is a waste of my time, I've spent so much time worrying over him and his lies :mad::mad:

Keep it up Louise you re doing great!:-)

Hopefully when you cool off, you won't have the urge to contact him again.

Here are so tips if you have the urge: https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...es-351302.html

You can also always come back here and we'll support you!

Remember, if you contact him again, you will reset all the progress you'e made. Stay strong and don't give in!

Thanks amicon and I wish - don't worry I won't be contacting me again, he said some really nasty things to his ex about me (called me a bunny boiler) just because I was texting him to see how he was after he said he cut himself because of me. He really was playing us both for fools wasn't he!!

Yes he was, and well done for realising :) - you're worth more than that - we all are! - good luck!

Quote:

Originally Posted by kappachino

Yes he was, and well done for realising :) - youre worth more than that - we all are! - good luck!

I realise now that I'm worth more than that but I'm still hurting by the way he treated me and saying horrible things like the bunny boiler to his ex :(:(

I was only texting him after he said that he had cut himself and was going to do something silly, he wanted the attention and I gave it to him and I got called a bunny boiler :(

I don't know how to over come this hurt, I try not too think about them together and do other things to keep myself busy, it just hurts so so much when you try and help someone and they repay you like this :(

Don't worry I'm not weakening, just having a weak moment, I've not any desire to contact him or her, they both deserve each other, I'm so better off without all that bull s**t in my life. My nan had her radiotherapy today and she is feeling better than she thought she would so that has cheered me up a bit. :)

Good news your nan s feeling ok-keep doing things that make you feel good-dont let his BS upset you.

Thanks amicon, I try my best to forget him. In the past he has always come back to me but I think maybe this time will be different as he has never been as caught out like this before. I don't want to ever see his face again. The thought of the boy (not man) makes me sick in the stomach. Ive never felt this hatred for him before, I try not to let the hatred rule my life as then he has "won" so to speak.

Im trying hard to get on with my essay, its so hard to concentrate though. Im a strong person and I know I can get through everything that is happening to me at the moment, I just need to look to the future and be positive xxxx

Just a quick little update, I'm on day 7 of NC and feel GREAT!! My friend told me that my ex has sent him a friend reuest on Facebook but he has just ignored it and deleted his account so I'm glad about that. I thought id have this burning desire to see if my ex and this woman will get back together but I don't funnily enough. Even if they are tgether then she deserves all she gets. I have a feeling the friend request by my ex to my friend was probably just to brag that he didn't succeed in breaking them up (that is how childish the ex is I'm afraid)

Anyway, I'm far to bust with my own life to wonder about them, I know one day he will come crawling back probably when he thinks its all forgotten but I won't reply to any of his contacts. Ive had my old phone off now for a week and I'm doing OK.

Thanks again for all your help xxx

You re doing well-keep it up. And don't spend time even thinking about him.
Cyberhug.

Quote:

Originally Posted by amicon

You re doing well-keep it up. And dont spend time even thinking about him.
Cyberhug.

Thanks amicon, I'm going to try and put him out of my head I promise, its just so hard. Its not that I think nice things when I do think of him, I just think of all the horrible things he has put me through :( :( and he don't seem to care that he has hurt me so so much.

Im trying to keep strong as I've more important things to consider at the moment like my nan and my mum, thanks again :D:D

Just another quick update (hope you don't all mind) , I've got too over the 1 week mark today of NC!! Its day 8 ad I'm feeling fine, I'm so surprised as I thought by now I would be pining for him or even wondering about them together. But I can honestly say with my hand on my heart that I really don't care if there together or not. Ive been at college tonight so that is keeping me mega busy at the moment.

It really is true when all you all say NC is the key to moving on, thank you so so much for all your help and advice xxx

Well done you!:-)

Thanks amicon, for some stupid reason I'm having a bit of a moment where I started to think of the ex so I thought id better come on here rather than sit and dwell on the plonker. Don't worry I'm not going to contact him, I just had a bit of a weak moment there for a bit. I really don't want anything to do with him ever again :-)

Im just annoyed that I let him lie and trick me for so long, but I've learnt my lesson at last xxx

Weak moments are allowed!
Do something you enjoy instead.:-) x

Hi Louise,
It's understandable that you would remember some of the good things and to miss some of that. But this guy only makes women miserable. Get your mind on something else. :)

Take care.

Thanks asking and amicon. Im trying to keep myself busy busy busy. I get mad at myself for having these weak moments. Yes it is true that we did have some good times but he tarnised all of those with the amount of bad times he put on me :-(

The thing that still hurts me is how he could lie about something so sick (sel harming and cutting my name into his arm so we will be together forever), I was going to give up going to Australia for him due to these actions. He is just so so selfish its untrue. Never once has he apologised to me for the hurt and the worry that he has caused me (not that I want to hear from him btw) but it would have just been nice to know he felt some shame. But to be honest I don't think he even realises that he has done something wrong.

I do think that someone who could lie about self harming and being taken into hospital plus cutting my name in there arm so we can be together forever does need some mental health don't you think??

Don't worry about the weak moments-they'll pass. Just accept he's a sick person and no longer in your life.

I have been wondering about his saying he cut your name into his arm. Do you think he was trolling you?

Quote:

Originally Posted by asking

I have been wondering about his saying he cut your name into his arm. Do you think he was trolling you?

Sorry asking, I don't know what you mean ?

I'm on day 10 and I'm doing OK, just thought id post again as I know that if I can do this NC thing then ANYONE can do it. Yes its hard but I feel so free and much happier as I'm not worrying about someone carving my name in there arm!! Yes it hurts that they would make all those lies up but I'm just glad that I'm out of there and away from his poisonous mind games xxxx

I should not have brought it up. You have been doing great.
I say, don't think about him!

Have you been seeing friends lately? Plans for Thanksgiving or a trip in the next month or so?

Cheers,
asking

Quote:

Originally Posted by asking

I should not have brought it up. You have been doing great.
I say, don't think about him!

Have you been seeing friends lately? Plans for Thanksgiving or a trip in the next month or so?

Cheers,
asking

Hi asking, I'm glad you brought it up, what did you mean hun?

I just meant maybe he was deliberately trying to upset you for the fun of it because he knew he could. It was just a thought because it seemed so weird to threaten you like that, especially when it turns out he's seeing someone else anyway. So if he wasn't even distraught, I guess I'm thinking it was a joke and he's an even worse jerk. I'm really angry with him and I don't even know him!

Quote:

Originally Posted by asking

I just meant maybe he was deliberately trying to upset you for the fun of it because he knew he could. It was just a thought because it seemed so weird to threaten you like that, especially when it turns out he's seeing someone else anyway. So if he wasn't even distraught, I guess I'm thinking it was a joke and he's an even worse jerk. I'm really angry with him and I don't even know him!

I think he was trying to upset me, the more I think about him and the what he did to me mentally the more angry I used to get hence why it don't bother me anymore as I know I'm better than 10 of him.
As for him seeing someone, he broke it off with her but they were still friends with benefits shall we say!! I think he partly did it because he knew that I cared and he loved the attention that I gave him when he told me what he had done. On the other hand his ex told my friend that my ex was telling her that he thought I was a bunny boiler because I was texting him all the time?? (I only text him as he said he was cutting himself because of me), he was playing us both for fools. He told the woman that he would "come down and sort me out" as I was making her cry!! :confused::confused:

That he was playing us off against each other, he was telling me he loved me and he didn't want me to go to australia and that he cut himself due to his love for me, on the other hand he was telling the other woman the he thought that I was a bunny boiler and that he would sort me out if I was making his other woman's life hell.

Hmm. Classic two-timer and similar to what people describe as borderline personality disorder, too. Always stirring the pot and playing people off against each other.

You are well rid of him.
Congratulations!
asking

Quote:

Originally Posted by asking

Hmm. Classic two-timer and similar to what people describe as borderline personality disorder, too. Always stirring the pot and playing people off against each other.

You are well rid of him.
Congratulations!
asking

I think you are right Asking, the main thing that he liked doing was playing mond games with people. He once turned round and said to my friend that he enjoyed playing mind games with people and that was good at it because he had 30 years experience of it? :confused::confused: now how sick in the head is that statement eh!!

All the guy does is just flick from one girl to the next, he told his ex he called it off with her because he was scared of getting hurt lol!! That made me laugh as for one he told me they were never in a relationship and secondly and more laughable me thinks is that he is OK hurting everyone else but don't want to get hurt himself.

On a serious note, I really do think that the guy has some very serious mental health issues to be lying about cutting himself and being addmitted into hospital, he just made a big joke of it (pretending to cut himself) when my friend confronted him. It is just a vicious circle for him that I feel will never ever end, lies... cheats... lies... cheats etc

Hi all, I don't know if you remember me and my situation. Well I was doing very well with the ex and then last week he came back into my life as he had heard I was in a car crash, he asked how I was and I thought I'm over him so il respond and say I'm OK and that it wasn't serious and I had just hurt my back.

Anyway we got chatting as mates and he asked me to marry him, I was shocked, I told my mate and my mate went and told his ex girlfriend. As soon as she knew she was texting me asking me if it was true saying that they had broken up in Oct but where still sleeping together until 5 weeks ago when she had enough of his mind games and decided just to be mates with him. She did say that a couple of days previuos he had asked her and her daughter to spend new yr with him. Once the ex found out he asked me to marry him she rung him and he denied everything calling me a loony and a lair and that I was stalking him?? I just couldn't believe it, then my ex turned on me and all of a sudden wouldn't reply to my texts after just asking me to marry him? Whilst ignoring me he was telling his ex nasty thing about me.

Fastforward a day later and his ex girlfriend has gone from saying us girls should stick together etc etc to texting me abuse calling me a stalker and that I should leave him alone and that I'm desperate, so god knows what he has been telling her. The ex has told one of my friends he thinks I'm a nasty skank etc etc I won't go into the words as they are not very nice.

He is now trying to sweet talk his ex, I just understand why he does this? Why ask me to marry him and then tell his ex that he hasn't?

Louise-please don't do this again-let it sink in -once and for all-ANY contact,ANY involvement with your ex allows you to step right back to where you were-in misery,pain and confusion.
Is that what you want? If NOT just ignore him.
I hope your back's better.