Im done with her
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Im done with her
About freakin time, GEEEEEEEEEEEEEZ!!
All you had to do was ignore her, instead you allowed your buttons to be pushed, now do your NC, and get real with it.
That's what you said last time...Quote:
Originally Posted by JTS31708
Are you really done with her?
Yea for sure I made it clear to her
I just don't see how someone could be so selfish and get so mad after her being the one who has caused all of this and put us where we are now instead of where we could have been if she would have worked together with me in our relationship.
If you figure out that answer, please tell me where you got it. I searched for many months on an answer for that and came up with nothing.
From your original post.
Just can't imagine someone changing their mind huh? Get used to it as that happens all the time.Quote:
I just don't see why this happened!?
Today.
When people's feelings change, they aren't as willing to go along with the program, heck, they may even want to do their OWN program, without you.Quote:
instead of where we could have been if she would have worked together with me in our relationship.
It takes time for reality to set in, and accept it for what it is.
Bottom line... Sometimes people don't want what you want. Can't say I'm sorry for your loss, as there will be other, better, options and opportunities. Its only a matter of time.
Give yourself time to redevelop your own life. When the next girl comes along (I can 100% guarantee she will), you will be happier and better off.
Thanks to all of you for your support and giving me great advice.
I can actually say now that I have not thought about her all day, I feel so glad I sent that message and was done with her it wasn't mean it was just straight up and to the point of what needed to be said.
Congrats your on the road to recoveryQuote:
Originally Posted by JTS31708
She is at a point where she is selfish and not really concerned about you... what she feels is more importantl... you deserve better... leave it at that... she will never understand because she does not want to...
Good luck to you...
Lol actually I can guarantee you did because you wrote this post. " I have not thought about her all day, ..."Quote:
Originally Posted by JTS31708
STOP THINKING ABOUT HER!!
Do what you have to do man, but I'll tell you one thing..
DON'T BREAK NC.
She is not worth it, she's playing games, she's trying to make herself feel better about the guilt she has to deal with and that shows what kind of person she is. Screw her, move on.
It's one thing to break up with someone and try to move on down the road, it's another to break up with someone and try to make themselves feel better about it by any means, even as far as to make the one they broke up with feel depressed and miserable. Selfish, irresponsible and controlling. She is no good.
She contacted me today saying sorry about everything and saying karma hit her back or something like that saying she has felt bad and says she wants to be friends for now I didn't respond I just deleted the messages like I said I'm done with her I will not write back only unless she is willing to want to work things out not because I wanted to but if she wants to. That is the only way I will talk until then I'm doing NC for good and getting over her which I am about 80% about right now lol
That's real good, I'm glad you're moving on with your life. Keep working hard at being yourself and making things better for you, keep us updated on your progress to success.
Thanks I will definitely update from time to time, but for now we won't be texting each other or anything for a while!! Lol well mainly me I put her number in my phone listed as don't break NC lmaooo. I don't want to go back to her the only way I would is if deep down inside she truly wanted to start over again but that won't be for a while a long while because she thinks she knows what she is doing and swears she is happy when deep down she's not and that is perfectly fine with me because she was the one who caused all of this and to put us where we are today
Funny... you put her as don't break no contact. Good one!
Lol she asked me the other day if we could be friends or not at all I didn't contact her because I'm not going to she will get the message after a while lol
Yea I actually did put her in my contacts as that lol
Feeling a lot better since I haven't had any contact with her!
Today I got to drive my friends 09 zo6 corvette it was amazing and definitely took my mind off things lol
Quote:
Originally Posted by JTS31708
Cool man, I drove my civic today... =/
Cool man, I drove my bike today... OH I MEAN I RODE MY BIKE!! -_- lol be thankful you have a car =P XDQuote:
Originally Posted by ajGambino
Lol well I'm doing good so far I think she is trying to get me jealous in some way by putting away messages up on aim saying she is going out with her friend and a couple guys or writing something else lol. To tell you the truth I thought it would bother me but it doesn't at all. Ever since I put her name in my phone as Don't break NC, and delted her from myspace and Facebook I feel pretty good! How is everyone else doing so far?
Well I think you should just leave her alone and let her come back to you and if she don't come back to you than there was no point and you relationship I think if she don't come back that was a signe 2 find somebody else
PRINCESS UNIQUA:p
Delete her from aim too! You don't need these little tid bits about her new life. You need to stop checking up on what she is doing and start concentrating on your own life. If you keep checking up on her, you will make it a lot harder for yourself to move on.
Update: Doing a lot better its been a week with no contact between us and it feels good! Just going out and hanging out with friends, working, and going to the gym. I also might be buying a new car soon hopefully! =]
How is everyone else doing!
I know its hard man I just went through a break up a month after you when I found this site every day is a struggle but you know what.. there is someone out there for us that will appreciate, and treat us in a way we deserve. I read about all you did for this girl and I truly commend you for it. It takes a strong person to recover from something that you helped build, but it isn't our fault when that creation wasn't meant to be.
I briefly read through some of the posts... I am copying what you did. I replaced my ex's number with "Don't Break NC" great idea! =)
if you have an iPhone, which most people do, you can get an app called iBlacklist.
It sends your X to a busy signal on your phone. No voicemail, and 0 notification on your end she even called, or texted.
Basically my X could call me 100 times n a row and send me 100 text messages, and I will never see them, or even know she sent them.
It was a bit crazy at first wondering if I was blocking something? But if you commit to it, its SOOOO much easier knowing that even if you wanted to chat with her you wouldn't know she was calling. Then you can finally stop looking at your phone every time to check if there is a voicemail from her, or a text message, or etc.. Sometimes its better to just not have to worry about it at all.
My ex for a little over a yr broke it off too and i was sad all i can say is if she wants to get out and do her own thing let her. And you have to tell yourself that its over until you meet again, don't text her and don't call her and just believe that you can move on, i did and i was so hurt and sad and it felt like he broke it off wen i needed him the most, but i let it go and honestly now that im in love with another man he wants to text me and go out and all that so don't worry, let her be and move on.Quote:
Originally Posted by JTS31708
Thas good, I'm proud of you!Quote:
Originally Posted by jts31708
Thanks, yea we have been through the arguing to try to get back together well basically I was the one who was doing that asking for another chance to change things but it just kept getting worse! Then after about a week or so she said she misses me I told her I need time to myself and she said she would give me that time. Another week passes and she absolutley can't take it anymore she says she wants to see me and she misses me so much. I told her we cannot be friends I said we either work together to work it out or nothing. She said she was sorry and that's the last I heard from her. The one thing I think is funny about all of this is how she pretends that she is having the best time of her life just how she was before until she came back saying I miss you. So I know this isn't getting anywhere so I'm leaving it alone and moving on.
Dude, take it from me, a veteran of the love-hate wars for 30-some odd years...Quote:
Originally Posted by JTS31708
30 years ago, I had a girlfriend who I was absolutely ga-ga over. After dating for 9 very passionate months, she did the same thing to me. She said I was smothering her and she wanted to "fly". Someone once told me to let love fly away, and if it comes back to you, it's true. Over the next 5 years she flew back to me, and then away again so many times I cannot remember how many times. I finally gave up after she convinced some other guy that she was dating [at the time] to attack me. I kicked his and went no contact with absolutley no hope of ever seeing her again. In the last 24 years she has resurfaced twice and tried to interfere with my [married] life. She almost got me this last time (in just the last 3 months), but I have her figured out. I've even tried being a friend to her... but it doesn't seem to work... she wants something more than friendship and something less than a loving relationship... if you catch my drift. To her, I was purely a sex toy.
I'm not saying this is the case with you, but what I am saying is... this can go on forever dude. If she doesn't "fly" back to you and nest-up... it ain't no good. I understand that you need to find out. If she truly loved you, she would love everything about you.. it wouldn't always be about what she needs or what she wants... it would be YOU and HER... together... connected at the soul and at the heart... not at the groin.
Good luck to you dude, I'm rooting for you! Do yourself a favor and make a great life for yourself rather than worrying about this. If you two are meant to be... it will happen. Set yourself a challenging goal and go for it! If she wants to go along for the ride and you really believe her, then go for that too... it can be done. If she doesn't want to go along for the ride... then let her crash & burn... just like my tormentor has done. Keep me posted.
I think you should just sent her a text. If she says you are lazy and unexciting, prove her wrong.
If she wants things to be how they used to be, let them.
Start from the very beginning. Just flirt with her, make her remember what it was like when you first met and she will really see how much she misses you.
Bad idea.He should move on, life is too precious to be wasted on someone who doesnot love you.Quote:
Originally Posted by _rachel_
Im feeling way better than before now things that I know or things I find out about her do not bother me at all!! =] She is talking to some guy she barely knows apparently. And she says she is having the best time of her life apparently when on her aim she puts down happy then dissapointed the next day lol. Well just letting everyone know that what used to bother me doesn't anymore =] I feel a lot better
That's great!! I'm trying to get to that point
I'm glad you are feeling better but heed this warning...
Don't think that just because you feel this way right now, that you can open all doors for friendship and stay in constant contact with her. If you do, you are going to get bit in the @ss and fall hard. Stick to NC and quit checking her AIM for crumbs of her life. I still think you are not truly moving forward, because you keep checking up on her. You need to realize she is no longer part of your life and you're no longer a part of her life, and let things be the way they are.
Don't do that. If you really want to test these "I don't care feelings", go strict NC and move on.
My only concern is that your feelings will fluctuate, but your actions shouldn't. Right now you feel powerful and in the drivers seat of your life. That is so good to hear and I couldn't be more pleased. But , I want you to watch out for this. At some point or points, for whatever reason, you may have a down day. This is not unusual, in fact it is to be expected. You know, remnants of the past that rear their ugly head. Or hearing something about her that makes you sad. Don't let this feeling throw you for a loop. IT WILL PASS. It is normal and I don't want you to think that it means that you are back at square one. Just know that it could happen, but that it will pass. It isn't a set back.
Quote:
Originally Posted by jmw0713
Yes.
I'm glad you're feeling better man, but truly move on by disappearing from her life. That includes you updating with her life, you'll eventually get hit hard by doing it.
Can't believe this dude is still hanging onto her.
My girlfriend has just split up with me, her mom died 6 weeks ago after a long illness and I guess her feeling have changed over the last 6 months and probably fallen out of love with me and possibly talked herself out of it. We were planning to buy a house. Now she wants to concentrate on looking after her father and doesn't want me to wait until her head is sorted. I suspect she is just letting me down gently. So going no contact and get on with thing. If her head gets sorted and wants me back then I will worry about that if it happens. But I've got to try to move on.
I'm gutted but life is jut too short
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