Ask Me Help Desk - Girlfriend broke up with me last night its been almost 4 years

Wow BWK10. Its like the same thing except the kid and moving in. I really don't know what to say.

MYBrain, honestly I was IN love with this girl. I can't explain how strong my feelings were for her. The way we looked at each other, the way we held each other... etc. I really don't know why I want to be friends I guess because of the fact it has been 4 years and we've been through so much together and the fact we put a lot of our time / effort into building such a strong relationship. Your right though I'm focusing on the past, instead of working on the present. I just can't see not being friends with someone you had such a great past with. Every break up ends "oh we can still be friends" well I wanted that. But I guess in the long run bad idea?

So I woke up this morning looked at my phone and of course she texted me "hey hope you had a good weekend, have a good week at work." now I talked to my buddy about this because he went through something similar. And I didn't have access to a computer to ask you guys this morning. And I wasn't going to answer, but I thought maybe something was wrong, she never started a conversation with me since we broke up. Now my friend said say this "hey nice to hear from you, yah i had a good weekend. thanks" come to think about it I shouldn't of even sent that text because obviously didn't get an answer back. She was probably looking for info on what I did.

Quote:

Originally Posted by prowaker

wow BWK10. its like the exact same thing except the kid and moving in. i really dont know what to say.

MYBrain, honestly i was IN love with this girl. i can't explain how strong my feelings were for her. the way we looked at each other, the way we held each other...etc. i really dont know why i want to be friends i guess because of the fact it has been 4 years and weve been through so much together and the fact we put a lot of our time / effort into building such a strong relationship. your right though im focusing on the past, instead of working on the present. i just can't see not being friends with someone you had such a great past with. every break up ends "oh we can still be friends" well i wanted that. but i guess in the long run bad idea?!

so i woke up this morning looked at my phone and of course she texted me "hey hope you had a good weekend, have a good week at work." now i talked to my buddy about this because he went through something similar. and i didnt have access to a computer to ask you guys this morning. and i wasnt going to answer, but i thought maybe something was wrong, she never started a conversation with me since we broke up. now my friend said say this "hey nice to hear from you, yah i had a good weekend. thanks" come to think about it i shouldnt of even sent that text because obviously didnt get an answer back. she was probably looking for info on what i did.

Basically, she was prodding, ignore it... and YES it's a bad idea, you cannot be friends with her, not with an emotional history with her like that, no way is that a smart idea... you need her out of your life completely, if you cell phone carrier allows it put a block on her number so you won't receive texts from her... texting is the most invasive form of contact... and this sounds hard but, depending on which phone you have, if you see you get a message from her, delete it... don't read it, after you delete it you'll probably think it over and wonder what it said and maybe regret not looking, but realistically, whatever text you get from her is just a can of worms you don't want to open because it will get you thinking deeper about things and you will be compelled to reply, it's a vicious circle, don't get caught in it

OK. Sounds good I deleted her number last night before I got that text and this morning when I did get it I was like who is this, then I looked at the number and was like ohh its her. What confuses me the most is that she has this other guy to talk to and yet she chooses to send me a message like that. And like I said before she never started a conversation with me since we broke up. So it caught me off guard. And that's the only reason I responded. I told my friend that I know I shouldn't respond and he said I shouldn't either but, again, like I said I thought maybe something was wrong.

Quote:

Originally Posted by prowaker

she has this other guy to talk to and yet she chooses to send me a message like that.

Stop being so easy! All she wants to do is pull your chain.

What's it matter if something is wrong? You're not her backbone anymore.

But who cares if something is wrong? She is not your responsibility anymore, as harsh as that sounds, let this other guy worry about it, let her friends and family worry about it... it isn't your concern.

Wondergirl, that's exactly what my friend said.

Mybrain, I don't know. Because I'm a caring guy?

Dude, you sound like a good guy and have a lot to offer someone, and one day you'll find her. I know you think THIS GIRL is the one, but she isn't or it would have worked the first time. I'm sorry your going through this, trust me. I wish nothing but the best for my ex, she has a brain tumor and will probably pass away in the next ten years. I wish I could be there for her, but she made her choice.

You're not the one for her, and I know you care... but it's time to let go man. I'm going through the same thing, we're on the same recovery journey. I'll be on here, everyday so I can help you through this the best I can and so will everyone else on here.

You're not her rock anymore, don't concern yourself with her. You need to take care of yourself before you worry about her anymore, because you come before her, and you're clearly still hurt by this. You have to heal yourself.

I realize you're a caring guy, as am I... but you need to stop doing this to yourself, and I need to take my own advice as well... All it does is cause you more pain and strain on your mind than its worth.. and when you really get to thinking about if its worth it, the answer is most definitely no, no its not...

Was she thinking about your feelings and how you would react when she broke up with you the night after prom? Was she concerned with if you were having a problem or if anything was wrong with you when she ignored you? She needs to learn the lesson of "treat people how you wish to be treated"

By the way. BWK check your pm's

I did check my PM's, I added you.

This is short. I just got off work 12 am my time and got to get up at 6 for my other job.

Honestly, I think I'm the most caring person ever. Like I would do anything to make a girl happy. I respect them, I like to please them. I never push my limits with them I don't try anything. I'm not some nerd or anything but I'm very respectful person unless you tick me off. Which she did. I just get caught up in things very fast and easily. And when I sent her that drunk text and when we talked for a bit the next day and told me about this guy. I lost it. I just thought the worst and stuff. I'm letting go. I had enough.

As well you should. There are better things to do, and worry about, than someone else's business.

OK so worst night ever last night!

I went out with my friends and guess who I see? Well it was all right. We ignored each other the entire time. Until 1 second we made eye contact and of course she grabs a guy and they start making out! I was holing it in until my last straw. So I went over broke it up and almost knocked the guy out. But I didn't only because I knew him. After that happened all I wanted to do is fight so I left.

Why did she do that. It feels like my heart has just been ripped out!

Quote:

Originally Posted by prowaker

why did she do that. it feels like my heart has just been ripped out!

She did it in hopes you would behave exactly as you did. Now she is smiling, smiling, smiling. She knows you still love her and can be affected by her actions. She doesn't want you back, but she wants to know she's still in control.

She did as she did to make you jealous, she's playing a dirty game, if this happens again, ignore her turn your back to her and engage in some conversation with someone else, don't play her game, act like you don't care, shell soon get fed up with treating you badly, if you ignore her enough times, but whilst you play into her hands and react like you do she is loving it.

Serious get real, dump her from your life. She's not worth it...

I am dumping her from my life I went out to have a good night not to see her making out with some other guy. I wasn't going to go up. But I couldn't help myself something inside of me was like GRRR. Its hard to explain. I tried turning my back but like I said something inside of me I never felt that feeling before. Honestly, how could I of just stood there and watched, I know she's playing little mind games, but it hurt me. I got home and blocked her on Facebook, deleted her number and called my phone provider and blocked her number. I had enough of this BS. I know she's known of my business but to do something like that in front of me is a LOW BLOW!

You said you did all of that last week.

Only you can stop her doing this to you...

We can advise you but you've got to make it happen...

I couldn't block her on Facebook because she had me blocked, but then I noticed I wasn't anymore last night that's when I did it.
And I had her number deleted but I didn't call my phone provider...

Just a question for the girls out there.
Did you ever do such a thing to your ex after 4 years and just a month of being apart? I'm just curious because she is being so immature!

You had no right to do what you did, it was totally stupid.
You said yourself you two ignored each other the whole evening, so how do you know she was looking at you before she kissed her guy?
I think you let your temper get the best of you. You are not over this girl but you need to do something about your temper.
You were drunk when you text her, were you also drunk when you approached her and her date?
You need to get yourself togeher man. This girl is no longer yours.