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-   -   Need some advice (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=458010)

  • Mar 24, 2010, 10:05 PM
    vanheart

    "The only reason I wanted into hers is because I think she does."

    You are trying to hard. To get back someone that isn't right & get that family together you've been hoping for.

    The wrong reasons again.

    Concentrate on you & the love you have for your son.

    She's got issues & not worth wasting anymore fantasies over.

    You have yours.
  • Mar 24, 2010, 10:06 PM
    darkdays
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by talaniman View Post
    Change your secret question.

    I did. Now how do I deal with her. Now she thinks Im up to something just because other women that I don't even talk to anymore still write to me once in a while just to say hi or something.
  • Mar 24, 2010, 10:06 PM
    talaniman
    Quote:

    QUOTE by darkdays;
    Tal, I know she has issues. I just don't know how to deal with them... Now how do I deal with her.
    You don't, if it doesn't concern your son, you don't care. That's how you deal with her issues.

    Quote:

    Now how do I deal with her. Now she thinks I'm up to something just because other women that I don't even talk to anymore still write to me once in a while just to say hi or something.
    Ignore her, and don't explain.
  • Mar 24, 2010, 10:08 PM
    darkdays
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by vanheart View Post
    "The only reason I wanted into hers is because I think she does."

    You are trying to hard. To get back someone that isnt right & get that family together youve been hoping for.

    The wrong reasons again.

    Concentrate on you & the love you have for your son.

    Shes got issues & not worth wasting anymore fantasies over.

    You have yours.

    I know, I just can't stop. I want so bad to have this family work. I try so hard and give into everything and take the blame for everything. Im always telling her I love her. Im always there when she wants me. I've tried so hard to do everything right, and everything just gets worse.
  • Mar 24, 2010, 10:09 PM
    darkdays
    Quote:

    You don't, if it doesn't concern your son, you don't care. That's how you deal with her issues.
    But what about the relationship between me and her and trying to work things out?
  • Mar 24, 2010, 10:18 PM
    darkdays
    Tal, I know you and some of the other guys on here are experts and all on relationships. Im just going crazy over all this. I know you say to leave her alone and ignore her. But I don't see where that's ever going to get us. I don't know, I just don't understand this kind of stuff when it comes to relationships.
    Am I just going about all this wrong or something? I mean what do women want from guys? I try so hard to do everything right? Is that wrong or something?
  • Mar 24, 2010, 10:21 PM
    vanheart

    Long shot.

    What about your son. Haven't heard one word about him.

    Just her silliness.

    At some point you are going to realize that this needs more effort than its worth to be in a relationship with her.

    The relationship with your son can be amazing. Don't let another one slip away because of another bad choice in women.
  • Mar 24, 2010, 10:24 PM
    talaniman

    You're not ready to work things out, so focus on what's important, and right now the relationship is not important.

    Look DD, I feel you, but until you both are ready, it ain't happening, and she ain't ready. And your trying too hard, way to hard. Back up, keep it simple by giving her space, so her issues can be dealt with by her, in her time, not yours.

    Trust me, a cooler head by you is what's needed, and forget the family thing, and forever happy for now. FOCUS, really FOCUS! No more relationship talk, let her get there on her own, without you, or you have nothing anyway.
  • Mar 24, 2010, 10:26 PM
    darkdays
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by vanheart View Post
    Long shot.

    What about your son. havent heard one word about him.

    Just her silliness.

    At some point you are gonna realize that this needs more effort than its worth to be in a relationship with her.

    The relationship with your son can be amazing. Dont let another one slip away because of another bad choice in women.

    Vanheart, this has nothing to do with my son. He is fine and I will continue to see him as long as she doesn't give me any problems about it, in which if she does I'll get legal about it. Im talking about her and what she does and what to do. I thought her and I were trying to work things out and now this. Everything went great on Saturday, and we were like a family together. Now she thinks things are going on with me and other women and they are not and now we're back to square one again.
  • Mar 24, 2010, 10:27 PM
    vanheart

    Doesn't sound like she wants to. Just you.

    Stop pushing. Chill.
  • Mar 24, 2010, 10:29 PM
    Kitkat22
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by vanheart View Post
    Long shot.

    What about your son. havent heard one word about him.

    Just her silliness.

    At some point you are gonna realize that this needs more effort than its worth to be in a relationship with her.

    The relationship with your son can be amazing. Dont let another one slip away because of another bad choice in women.

    Little children did not ask to be brought into this world. I wonder why people bring chidren into this world if they are going to put them last. These children need a loving, stable home. Start thinking about your child and leave the woman alone:(.
  • Mar 24, 2010, 10:29 PM
    talaniman
    Quote:

    now we're back to square one again.

    No your not, your letting your desire for a relationship get in the way of common sense that's saying leave her alone about a relationship, because she is not ready, and you can't make her ready.
  • Mar 24, 2010, 10:33 PM
    darkdays
    I know what your saying Tal, and your right. Then why does she want to get into my emails for if she isn't ready? Im willing to take all the time it needs, but in the mean time I got to deal with stuff like that. And it only gets worse.
    So what your saying is that I should just take things light with her when she blames me for this and that and act like it doesn't bother me? And that will make things better? Or for the possibility of working things out?

    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Kitkat22 View Post
    Little children did not ask to be brought into this world. I wonder why people bring chidren into this world if they are going to put them last. These children need a loving, stable home. Start thinking about your child and leave the woman alone:(.

    Trust me Kat, I never planned my son to be born into this. I tried with all my heart and effort to create a stable home and family for him.
  • Mar 24, 2010, 10:38 PM
    vanheart

    "And it only gets worse. " quoted...

    Do you really want to be with someone like that?

    Concentrate on the job search.
  • Mar 24, 2010, 10:40 PM
    darkdays
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by vanheart View Post
    "And it only gets worse. " quoted....

    Do you really want to be with someone like that?

    Concentrate on the job search.

    So just let it go right? Ignore it and let it go.
  • Mar 24, 2010, 10:44 PM
    Kitkat22
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by darkdays View Post
    I know what your saying Tal, and your right. Then why does she want to get into my emails for if she isn't ready? Im willing to take all the time it needs, but in the mean time I got to deal with stuff like that. And it only gets worse.
    So what your saying is that I should just take things light with her when she blames me for this and that and act like it doesn't bother me? And that will make things better? Or for the possibility of working things out?

    Concentrate on your child! There's a loose woman around every corner.
    You must like the way she's treating you or else you would take advice and tell her to take a hike. How in the world can you go hoping and letting her pull your strings?

    I do not understand your reasoning at all. Do you know women despise
    Weak men. They tell their friends about how they can have that guy anytime. How do you like being a puppet. How do you think your son is going to grow up to be strong when he's looking at the way you live.
    You are not a very good example for him to follow. You or your squeeze!:mad:
  • Mar 24, 2010, 10:44 PM
    vanheart

    Not ignore it.
    Recognize.

    Concentrate on you.
    Without a vision of a relationship with her driving your whole existence, thoughts & actions.
  • Mar 24, 2010, 10:46 PM
    talaniman

    I doubt you ever get with this female, and think you're driving yourself crazy trying.

    When they act crazy, and unreasonable, leave them alone, not freak out on them.
  • Mar 24, 2010, 10:47 PM
    darkdays
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Kitkat22 View Post
    Concentrate on your child! Theres a loose woman around every corner.
    You must like the way she's treating you or else you would take advice and tell her to take a hike. How in the world can you go hoping and letting her pull your strings?

    I do not understand your reasoning at all. Do you know women despise
    weak men. They tell their friends about how they can have that guy anytime. How do you like being a puppet. How do you think your son is going to grow up to be strong when he's looking at the way you live.
    You are not a very good example for him to follow. You or your squeeze!:mad:

    So now Im weak? Why is that? I guess I just don't get it.
  • Mar 24, 2010, 10:49 PM
    Kitkat22
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by talaniman View Post
    I doubt you ever get with this female, and think you're driving yourself crazy trying.

    When they act crazy, and unreasonable, leave them alone, not freak out on them.

    Good Tal, can't spread the reputation. But you are right.

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