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-   -   My girlfriend changed after we got back together (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=433916)

  • Jan 11, 2010, 08:25 AM
    brokenheartls
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by ScottGem View Post
    threads merged


    Thanks for the merge :D
  • Jan 11, 2010, 08:58 AM
    bswc

    There is something bothering your ex, whether with her ex, or your best friend, or someone else, or the religion. Well, I'd say your girlfriend is very confused. Its not going right, she's like a roller coaster, at the age of 16, very normal. Mean time very dangerous for you, be caution as you might bungee jump your heart. Take things easily, don't be desperate and keep us updated if your need support and advise :)
  • Jan 11, 2010, 11:26 AM
    brokenheartls

    I talked to her on the phone... she said she didn't change... she said she feels loved when we only kiss and hug often...
    Without any physical contact...

    She also doesn't talk to me about sensitive subjects... I told her to try.. she said she will see me tomorrow and talk to me about something going on with her family.. that's on thing solved.. the other thing is that I don't feel loved...
    It bothers me that we kiss like 5 times in a time of 30 minuets when we used to kiss each other like 100 times in 30 minuets...

    She changed.. I want a solution please suggest something
  • Jan 11, 2010, 12:35 PM
    amicon
    The only thing anyone can suggest is that the two of you talk it out.
    The only person who knows why she has changed is your girlfriend.

    Have a serious,honest conversation about where this is going ,and if you can't communicate, there isn't much of a relationship.
  • Jan 11, 2010, 05:54 PM
    brokenheartls

    OK I talked to her she understood my situation and she said she will try her best to change back to normal... she said she will prove it tomorrow when we'll go out... I'll fill you in in another 15 hours...
  • Jan 11, 2010, 07:14 PM
    Clough
    Thanks for letting us know, brokenheartls!

    I hope that all goes well!
  • Jan 13, 2010, 01:32 AM
    brokenheartls

    OK I went to see her... she lied to me.. she doesn't want to change.. so I broke up with her..

    And now she says she will change if I let her come back..
    What should I do :S she doesn't want to listen to me , she never wants to suggest something that both of us will accept...

    She told me she wants to prove she changed this Thursday

    Please advice me on what to do next.. any ideas are appreciated
    Thanks!
  • Jan 13, 2010, 01:49 AM
    amicon
    Stay broken up-you don't need this emotional rollercoaster in your life.
    Don't try to flog this dead horse any longer.
    Go NC and ignore her forever.
  • Jan 13, 2010, 07:06 AM
    bswc

    Hey brother, we all know that girl is immature and she will not change if you take her back. She's going to take your for granted. How about taking a break and let her change?
  • Jan 13, 2010, 07:26 AM
    brokenheartls
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by amicon View Post
    Stay broken up-you dont need this emotional rollercoaster in your life.
    Dont try to flog this dead horse any longer.
    Go NC and ignore her forever.

    My neighbor is interested in me... she is new around so I got to know her a week ago... and she talked about a relationship with me... I think I'll go for it :)
  • Jan 13, 2010, 07:36 AM
    amicon
    Not a great idea. That's called a rebound and they're not fair on the person you rebound with.
    First you heal completely from your breakup-then you'll be ready to start dating and get to know someone new.

    There's no law that says you have to be in a relationship-
    Just learn to enjoy being single for some time.
  • Jan 13, 2010, 09:19 AM
    brokenheartls
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by amicon View Post
    Not a great idea. That's called a rebound and they're not fair on the person you rebound with.
    First you heal completely from your breakup-then you'll be ready to start dating and get to know someone new.

    There's no law that says you have to be in a relationship-
    Just learn to enjoy being single for some time.

    No she is not a rebound... my ex dumped me like 3 months ago... ( October ) I think I got over it by now... and I really like this new girl

    And just like how some people are addicted to smoking, sex , pot... etc..
    I'm addicted to love :P and I'm awesome at giving love and I think there is a new relationship on the way
  • Jan 13, 2010, 09:54 AM
    Romefalls19
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by brokenheartls View Post
    ok i talked to her she understood my situation and she said she will try her best to change back to normal... she said she will prove it tomorrow when we'll go out... i'll fill you in in another 15 hours...

    You want to talk to her, and see how things are but also want to start a relationship with someone else. It sounds to me that you are co-dependent.
  • Jan 13, 2010, 10:26 AM
    amicon
    You seem to have forgotten that you got back together only recently and have now broken up again.
    So,no,you're not over her,unless that was the most quick healing process ever.
    In which case you should bottle your formula and sell it.
    You're trying to get over your heartbreak by going for a new relationship and that's not a good road to go down.
  • Jan 14, 2010, 12:20 AM
    brokenheartls
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by amicon View Post
    You seem to have forgotten that you got back together only recently and have now broken up again.
    So,no,you're not over her,unless that was the quickest healing process ever.
    In which case you should bottle your formula and sell it.
    You're trying to get over your heartbreak by going for a new relationship and that's not a good road to go down.


    My ex doesn't want to change back...
    I mean.. how can I be in a relation with someone that isn't honest ,she keeps lying to me , she doesn't want to kiss or hug me , she doesn't want to show affection...

    Do you call this a healthy relationship??

    Because I found a girl that wants to give me all those things...

    I told my ex I can't be with her...

    I feel like dating a friend... I can't touch kiss or hug her... she doesn't want to tell me about things that's bothering her...

    When she is sad she keeps telling me I'm an a**hole because my help isn't enough..

    I can't be with a girl that keeps criticizing me about everything I do , she keeps reminding me of my mistakes..
  • Jan 14, 2010, 12:31 AM
    bswc

    Well, lets about the new girl then. I bet you're going to come back here and say you miss your ex's hug and kisses and get confused all over in a short while.
  • Jan 14, 2010, 12:35 AM
    brokenheartls
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by bswc View Post
    Well, lets about the new girl then. I bet you're gonna come back here and say you miss your ex's hug and kisses and get confused all over in a short while.

    I got over my ex... it has been 3 months you know...

    I got back to my ex the first time because she threatens me... she said she will commit suicide , what the hell am I supposed to do about that :(?
    I don't want her to kill her self because of me... I used to love her.. she changed and I don't know.. my feelings for her died..
  • Jan 14, 2010, 12:41 AM
    bswc

    That's good news, move forward!
  • Jan 15, 2010, 01:35 PM
    jaime90

    Feelings come and go- because love is a choice. It is not merely feelings for someone.

    If you want to get involved with another girl, I suggest getting to know her better than you did this one who you say lies to you. You got to show a little patience, and be cautious. It's called 'protecting your emotions until you completely trust someone, and actually KNOW them, so you don't get hurt.' You need to be WAY more careful than you have been or you're going to end up in a relationship with a girl that, surprise, isn't the 'nice' girl that you thought she was, or in, yet another breakup. People cannot hide their negative qualities forever. If you find a girl you're interested in, be her friend, and sit back and take a chill pill. You need to WAIT until her true colors come through, because chances are, at least some of what she's doing is just for show.
  • Jan 16, 2010, 12:59 AM
    brokenheartls
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by jaime90 View Post
    Feelings come and go- because love is a choice. It is not merely feelings for someone.

    If you want to get involved with another girl, I suggest getting to know her better than you did this one who you say lies to you. You gotta show a little patience, and be cautious. It's called 'protecting your emotions until you completely trust someone, and actually KNOW them, so you don't get hurt.' You need to be WAY more carefull than you have been or you're going to end up in a relationship with a girl that, surprise, isn't the 'nice' girl that you thought she was, or in, yet another breakup. People cannot hide their negative qualities forever. If you find a girl you're interested in, be her friend, and sit back and take a chill pill. You need to WAIT until her true colors come through, because chances are, at least some of what she's doing is just for show.



    I'm actually taking it very slow... I got to know her sister they are really very nice... her friends are awesome too.. except one lol...
    I will follow your advice and take it slow...

    And by the way... my ex is a liar , I was walking in the street yesterday and then boom she is in front of me talking to her ex :)
    She started saying I'm sorry he called I didn't want to answer...
    I told her.. : yeah.. please move I'm going to see my girlfriend...

    I never thought someone could be so heartless...
    By the way this girl wasent in a relationship before never kissed a guy.. nothing..
    And she is really shy.. I mean if I touch her hand she turns red :\
    Can you give me an advice on how to make her feel more comfortable with me ?

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