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-   -   She cuts all ties. And bitter (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=421432)

  • Dec 31, 2009, 06:47 PM
    tragedy

    I drove passed her house to pick up one of my friends who stays in the same neighbourhood for countdown (back to my place), which will happen in a few hours time. I shouldn't have taken that route, as my instinct kept telling me that I will bump into someone that I do not want to see. Yet, I didn't listen to my heart because I thought if I could see her new partner's car in front of her house, I will be able to move on faster. I'm so silly, such an idiot. I saw her housemate walking towards my direction as I was passing by! Now I wonder if she sees me and what if she tells my ex. Ugh, they will look at me like I'm needy, desperate... basically, a stalker! I feel like an idiot. It's like my dignity has just been crushed again. I shouldn't have taken that road. I just shouldn't. I've learned my lesson and I will never ever do that again...
  • Jan 1, 2010, 01:18 AM
    amicon
    No you're not an idiot you're a person who has a right to go about your business doing your thing.
    Never mind what goes on in her life-this is your life.
  • Jan 1, 2010, 01:53 AM
    tragedy

    I still miss her somehow... and it's bad. I know...
  • Jan 5, 2010, 09:10 PM
    tragedy

    Finally, I'm letting go... I never thought I would feel this good. Well, I went ahead asking my friend to get her the facial stuff from another state and FedEx to her place. To my surprise or maybe not, she puts up a note in her myspace saying that she will toss it in the bin (that's what I heard from one of our mutual friend). The reason why I decided to help because some part of me still consider her as my friend and I no longer have the intention to be with her anymore. More like acquaintance. Somehow, she thinks or sees it differently. Surprisingly, I no longer have the urge to analyze why she wants to do that. With no questions, I would say that she doesn't need to do that. Ahh Well, my house mate called her a B* for doing that. ROFL. She can continue to hate me. I don't care about it anymore. I used to care a lot but not now anymore. I'll leave it to the universe to take care of the rest. I've lost count on how many days I didn't speak to her since I started NC. I think I'm getting there.. or maybe I'm already there that is I'm finally healed. I think with what she's doing now it really helps me to move on. What do you think?
  • Jan 5, 2010, 09:14 PM
    friend4u178

    That's a good attitude , to realise that no matter what you do the situation isn't going to change.

    Get on with your life and stop wasting your time and energy on someone who obviously won't do the same for you.
  • Jan 5, 2010, 09:17 PM
    vanheart

    Good advice.

    A waste of time.
  • Jan 5, 2010, 10:03 PM
    tragedy

    Yeah, finally I know it's a waste of time. I'm really really very glad that she did that. At least, it gives me a sign that she's not worth my tears or effort! Good that I've finally come to a conclusion. It's kind of like you're doing it out of courtesy and yet you still get a slap on your face! How cruel is that? LOL... Well, that's life I guess... :)

    She can go on with her hatred... I simply don't care. To me, what goes around comes around. I'm happy to see her true true true colors! To a certain extend, I think I'm kind of glad being dumped. ROFL. If not, I think will still hang on to this relationship. In other words, it's a blessing in disguise! Don't you think so?
  • Jan 5, 2010, 10:18 PM
    vanheart

    Don't hang on. Hang out. Later for her.

    Everything you said before was right on.

    She can hate, she can breakup, she can do whatever. One person in the world that wasn't right for you. Oh well, a sh**ty & painful life lesson. Not your last lesson yet, I hope...

    Give this time & put your energy elsewhere.
  • Jan 5, 2010, 11:53 PM
    vanheart

    Cool, now go NC.
  • Jan 6, 2010, 12:18 AM
    vanheart

    Don't be afraid to stick your middle finger out.
    You know when.
  • Jan 6, 2010, 12:56 AM
    amicon
    True-what goes around comes around-and now you've realised how wrong a relationship this was-for YOU.
    Move forward in the knowledge that you are the(much)better person.
  • Jan 6, 2010, 01:11 AM
    tragedy

    ROFL... You know, vanheart, never in my wildest dreams did I think she would behave like this. We are all grown up. Why can't she take it easily and let the bitter past pass? Past is past. There's no point for being so BITTER. I just don't see the point.

    I helped her to get those stuff out of courtesy without asking for anything in return. Not even a damn dime! Nothing at all. I will do the same for those who know me. I'm getting texts, calls in the middle of the night from our mutual friends telling me that I don't deserve what she did to me. I didn't get it in the first place until they told me what she wrote on her wall.

    Sometimes it's not worth being a nice guy. Although the facial stuff doesn't cost that much, but Hey! Is that how she says thank you? How thoughtful!
  • Jan 6, 2010, 01:30 AM
    tragedy

    Amicon, you're right! It was so wrong! When we first broke up, like most of us here, I thought she was the one for me even after I was being physically and verbally abused. I can't sleep well because she was always on my mind and I couldn't stop thinking about the time we shared. To think it back, it doesn't worth my tears. It's an eye-opener! Huge! I don't know what she's trying to prove to put such a post on her wall. Maybe she thought I will be reading her myspace and feeling hurt. Too bad, my friends filled me in and I think I had worse in the past. So in this case, I no longer feel the pain but just "Whatever".

    She has already moved on with a new guy. Why can't she just leave the past behind, take it easy instead of being so bitter? Again, I helped her just out of courtesy. Nothing else. Can't she see? Or she thinks I'm playing trick to win her back? Err.. it's a definitely definitely 'no no'! ROFL.
  • Jan 6, 2010, 01:42 AM
    amicon
    Yeah whatever-as you said-because Trad,it doesn't really matter anymore,does it? I hope this has given your selfrespect a boost.
    Generally speaking,sad bitter people lead sad miserable little lives-decent honest ones have lives where they can be comfortable being who they are.
  • Jan 6, 2010, 02:09 AM
    tragedy

    Amicon, it does boost up myself respect and self esteem too! I was stuck in a dark tunnel for months. I'm glad that I could finally see the light. I'm even glad to see her true colors. When I think of her post in her myspace, I kind of chuckle. How childish is that? Can't she grow up a little? Yes, she was involved in many relationship as compared to me. But what did she learn from the past? Not even a simple word called 'Respect'.

    I couldn't believe that I've invested 2 years for this woman who ended up taking away my dignity and self respect. What a waste of my time! I'm going to do whatever it takes to regain it back. She no longer has control over me. She no longer has the upper hand. It's a huge relief to have it over and done.
  • Jan 6, 2010, 02:25 AM
    amicon
    Way to go! The healingprocess is about to be completed-good work-and I'm sure you've learned a lot about yourself as you've gone from despair to relief.
    All relationships,good or bad,are learning experiences.
  • Jan 6, 2010, 06:41 PM
    tragedy

    I told myself I must update this when I get back! ROFL. My ex threw everything, took a picture of the bin and posted it on her myspace! How interesting! Well, of course I feel a pinch but that's all. If that's what she wants to do, by all means. I have no control over it. But seriously, I don't think she needs to be this bitter. It's just a small gesture out of courtesy. Nothing else. Why being so bitter? I would love hear from a woman's perspective...
  • Jan 6, 2010, 07:02 PM
    vanheart

    Stop checking her myspace page.
  • Jan 6, 2010, 07:14 PM
    tragedy

    I didn't... my friend showed it to me when I was at his place. ROFL. Seriously, why does she need to be this bitter?
  • Jan 6, 2010, 07:18 PM
    vanheart

    It doesn't matter.
    Its over. She can waste her time posting stupid stuff for you see.

    Wondering isn't going to get you anywhere.

    Be more concerned how you are going to rock it from now one.

    And honestly, someone that does vindictive stuff like that after the fact isn't worth a second of your time.

    BTW, tell your friend that you don't need to see stuff like that & respect your feelings.

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