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-   -   Can't stop loving my ex (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=37918)

  • Jan 29, 2007, 11:43 AM
    kay13
    Yes Mom, I bought a pair of shoes (one can never have too many shoes :D ) that I'll probably wear once because they're too high! Some fab jeans for my growing up fast daughter and last but not least, a bathroom suite! So perhaps the DIY is a little optimistic and I'll have to hire a man that can.

    How upsetting to miss your daughters competition, but you did have a real good excuse. Hope you're on the road to recovery now. What a clever girl, how proud you must be!
  • Feb 8, 2007, 07:42 PM
    pushy
    Hi,
    Learn to love from far; you cannot change feelings. Life will be easier for yourself . I completely relate ; in a different kind of way!
  • Feb 8, 2007, 09:06 PM
    talaniman
    I'm thinking of starting a new thread "Why does shopping lift a females spirits" Or "How come there is no evidence of a female ever dropping while shopping." or " Whats in your wallet.....................nuthin' honey"
  • Feb 9, 2007, 06:28 AM
    ordinaryguy
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by talaniman
    I'm thinking of starting a new thread "Why does shopping lift a females spirits" Or "How come there is no evidence of a female ever dropping while shopping." or " Whats in your wallet.....................nuthin' honey"

    I'm reminded of the joke about the woman who was all excited about the dress she got on sale. Telling her husband about it, she said "Look, honey, I saved thirty dollars on this dress. What should I do with the money I saved?" He said, "Show it to me."
  • Feb 9, 2007, 12:56 PM
    kay13
    Come on lads give us a break, it's not about money, its about therapy :D

    An odd thing has just happened. We are experiencing heavy snow in our area and as my ex was late picking up my daughter and mom wasn't home she asked him to pull up outside my house and sound his horn so that Meg could just go out to him. Not a great plan, but I was left with no choice.

    Well, not five minutes ago he walked in my house uninvited as if nothing was wrong. Luckily I was upstairs getting ready for a night out. I don't know what he was trying to achieve but I'm so glad I didn't see him! Now I know why I don't trust him to come here!
  • Feb 9, 2007, 03:37 PM
    momincali
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by talaniman
    I'm thinking of starting a new thread "Why does shopping lift a females spirits" Or "How come there is no evidence of a female ever dropping while shopping." or " Whats in your wallet.....................nuthin' honey"

    T- Come on now... when we're at home and you're sitting around watching basketball, baseball, soccer or whatever, and we can't stop talking about this and that, don't get much more than a "oh" and "aha" and then SUDDENLY we say we're going shopping you turn around, smile big:D and say, "okay babe, I'll see you later, have fun, oh and don't worry about comin home to make dinner, I'll order pizza with the fellas!" Hmmmmmmm...

    Oh, and no, we don't actually drop, that's why we're supposed to "shop til we drop" cause this way we never have to stop... get it?? It's a retail therapy marathon worth every penny, for your sanity as well as ours!
  • Feb 11, 2007, 04:07 PM
    momincali
    Just one of my many talents Tal!! ;)
  • Feb 19, 2007, 09:38 AM
    sexybeasty
    I agree with you Val.

    Kay, self love begins with you. When you value yourself and hold yourself up as worthy of healthy and abiding love, you will give up on this man. You need to affirm to yourself that you are giving and beautiful and worthy of anything good that God has in store for you. Your life cannot get better without your full participation.

    You made a good start by ceasing contact with the inconsiderate and unloving man. There is no decent defense for what he put your family through and he is most unworthy of you and yours.

    Truly, when you start seeing your beauty, others will too. Beauty gravitates from inside all of us, when we allow it to flow. It is necessary to cut out the disease that we have before welcomed into our lives in order to make our lives better and for the beauty to show itself.

    You owe it to your children to make better choices. If you have put up with garbage being slung at you,( not literal), then what chance will they have with their future relationships. The most important part of good parenting is example. All the words you tell your kids about their worth will mean nothing if you don't follow it.

    Blessings to you sweetie, you are worth so much more than what your ex has valued you at. Reflect on this for a time, and your love may just slip away. I pray for your release from bondage. Blessings again.
  • Feb 21, 2007, 02:32 AM
    kay13
    Thank you sexy for your kind words.

    I'm slowly being released from that bondage and am amazed at how differently I feel. The no contact rule has been my saviour, not as a punishment for him but as healing time for me. It truly works as a powerful medicine to allow body and soul to recover from trauma such as this.

    Of course such wonderful advice from the people here is also a contributing factor. I am in a better place and am hopeful for the future.
  • Mar 11, 2007, 10:05 AM
    kay13
    It's my ex-hubby's birthday today. I've had 23 years of sending cards, presents and planning romantic meals... and this year I've done nothing. It's another hurdle I've climbed, but it has left me feeling really empty and down today. :(
  • Mar 11, 2007, 10:14 AM
    talaniman
    Its okay to feel that way, because you know that the feeling will pass. To help it along, do something nice for yourself on this beautiful Sunday afternoon.
  • Mar 12, 2007, 09:09 AM
    kay13
    You are quite right Tal, the feeling has passed.
  • Mar 12, 2007, 10:04 AM
    talaniman
    Now its raining here, thanks:eek:
  • Mar 12, 2007, 11:25 AM
    kay13
    Ah, I passed my mood onto the weather... the sun will be out again soon, I promise :)
  • Mar 12, 2007, 12:18 PM
    lalalalaLAUREN
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by kay13
    Someone please help! I divorced my husband 10 years ago because he made me choose between my marriage and our unborn child. I choose our child and had a beautiful baby girl alone. Since then my ex has kept me on the back burner with promises that one day we will be together. Last weekend I discovered that another woman had been staying with him at weekends and he introduced her to our daughter, I'm devestated and don't know how to get through this. Our 18 year old son hasn't spoken to him for 3 years because of how he treats me, and he is giving this as the excuse for not being a family. We had a very bitter divorce and I went through pregnancy and birth alone just hoping that once he saw the baby he would change his mind but he has been dangling the carrot ever since. Trouble is I love him and can't see a future without him, but I also know I can't go on like this.
    On my request we've not had contact for two months because it's worse when I see him, so he's picking up or daughter from my moms house. Help, I don't know where to go from here.:confused:

    Give him time to understand that his life will fall apart f he does not give his family a second chance. His daughter will never have a dad and will not be able to wear those shirts that say "DADDYS LITEL GIRL" and his son wil never talk to him and a father uis supposed to be a role model for is sonm . He will look up to him if he gived you a chance. For you the best advise i can give you is that u need to let alll this comotion and mybe it will sink in
  • Mar 12, 2007, 02:16 PM
    talaniman
    If you read these13 pages you will find the situation has progressed quite a bit.
  • Mar 23, 2007, 10:54 AM
    kay13
    Oh dear, another hurle to jump. Ex-hubby has departed on a caribbean cruise today. When I arrived home from work my sister-in-law called me to tell me that he will be getting married on board ship. He's not even told his daughter. What a silly fool I've been, how could I have not seen this coming. :(
  • Mar 23, 2007, 11:31 AM
    ordinaryguy
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by kay13
    What a silly fool I've been, how could I have not seen this coming. :(

    There's no reason why you should have seen it coming if your attention is on other things, which is where it belongs. You're no fool. He's the fool. Let him be. Think elsewhere.
  • Mar 23, 2007, 12:21 PM
    talaniman
    You may care for a minute but really what difference will it really make in your life? None at all!! Shopping anyone?? Spring clearance.
  • Mar 23, 2007, 01:58 PM
    Wildcat21
    Come on Kay - I saw it coming from your posts. You had to have.

    Let him go!! Once and for all!!

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