The countdown has begun, 48 hours till my apointment Friday. I am starting to feel a bit nervous, but I am taking deep breaths when I feel anxiety. I say to myself, I am a man and I have cojones and I must face any obstacle in life. I already have a girl smiling to me on my dating website and she is italian just like me. Maybe we are a match who knows. I might chat her up if I feel ready.

I watched swingers last night, thanks to none12345 who posted the link to the movie. I watched it 4 years ago at my last break up. I love the end part when the ex girl calls back and he's got the new girl on the other line, so he hangs up on the ex when she says I miss you, I love y... great movie!

So guys it's OK to be depressed, and eventually you move on, it took ''Mike'' 6 months, and he met a great woman that probably he would never have met if his other relationship didn't fail. See your break as a spark to a new combustion, a new beginning, this will most probably lead to a new relationship and who knows maybe the next one will be your wife and you will have kids and your kids will say, dad I am glad you met mom and you broke up with the girl before mom.

It's funny the more time passes, the more I feel I would not want to go back with my ex. I am getting over her quicker than I thought. I am starting to see the light, I am getting further away from the dark side, I have the force, thanks yoda. I did not need to get drunk or take drugs, I did it with willpower. Thanks to all the tips I learned here and some tricks I already knew.

It is possible guys, do not give up on yourself. Read, Post, and read again. Watch break up movies, find what is your passion in life, besides your girlfriend. For me my passion is 3D art. I am a 3D artist, and I love creating stuff. During my depressed weeks I could not find any crativity or imagination. It's like my brain was locked up and stuck on one thought. Now my brain has unlocked and I started to create again. It's an awsome feeling guys. Free your mind, find the way to unlock it from the pain and misery of that break up. Chances are the girl that left you, moved on a long time ago, probably a week after the split.

Lift your head up and look ahead, you still have a long way to go, you have a lot of people to meet, projects, goals, etc...
Now you are free and you got nobody to rain on your parade.

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Originally Posted by PirandelloLuigi

The countdown has begun, 48 hours till my apointment friday. I am starting to feel a bit nervous, but i am taking deep breaths when i feel anxiety. I say to myself, I am a man and i have cojones and i must face any obstacle in life. I already have a girl smiling to me on my dating website and she is italian just like me. Maybe we are a match who knows. I might chat her up if i feel ready.

I watched swingers last night, thanks to none12345 who posted the link to the movie. I watched it 4 years ago at my last break up. I love the end part when the ex girl calls back and he's got the new girl on the other line, so he hangs up on the ex when she says i miss you, i love y... great movie!

So guys it's ok to be depressed, and eventually you move on, it took ''Mike'' 6 months, and he met a great woman that probably he would never have met if his other relationship didn't fail. See your break as a spark to a new combustion, a new begining, this will most probably lead to a new relationship and who knows maybe the next one will be your wife and you will have kids and your kids will say, dad i am glad you met mom and you broke up with the girl before mom.

It's funny the more time passes, the more i feel i would not want to go back with my ex. I am getting over her quicker than i thought. I am starting to see the light, i am getting further away from the dark side, i have the force, thanks yoda. I did not need to get drunk or take drugs, i did it with willpower. Thanks to all the tips i learned here and some tricks i already knew.

it is possible guys, do not give up on yourself. Read, Post, and read again. Watch break up movies, find what is your passion in life, besides your girlfriend. For me my passion is 3D art. I am a 3D artist, and i love creating stuff. during my depressed weeks i could not find any crativity or imagination. It's like my brain was locked up and stuck on one thought. Now my brain has unlocked and i started to create again. it's an awsome feeling guys. Free your mind, find the way to unlock it from the pain and misery of that break up. Chances are the girl that left you, moved on a long time ago, probably a week after the split.

Lift your head up and look ahead, you still have a long way to go, you have a lot of people to meet, projects, goals, etc...
Now you are free and you got nobody to rain on your parade.

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so true so true. After all I think we deserve a girl that can actually appreciate us, love us, be loyal and committed even when times get har and not bail out on us for someone else at the last minute. Do I still have feelings for her? Of course. Do I want her back? Maybe but things have to change if she wants me back. If she doesn't I'm fine with that ill just find someone better and doesn't treat me like crap. I know man, the more time you go in NC you don't feel as close to them anymore and you don't need them anymore but of course you still think about them from time to time but it does get easier. Yet it is still hard when I think about her being intimate with some other guy... grrrrrrrr...

As for swingers, I just need a friend like Trent to help me pick up new girls =P but besides that he was always there for mike and helped him through it. We can see the importance of friends and how getting yourself out there again can be a big help to how you move on. Right now its about you guys, its not about her anymore. She made a decision for herself and you should too even though it still might be hard. Just yesterday, I picked up my guitar which I haven't in ages and t was pretty fun lol but yah hope things goes well on Friday =P

Thanks man, I think if you don't have a friend like trent, take some of Trent's attributes and some of Mikes and some of yours and mix them all together and you will have a recipe to try. Who knows maybe you will pick up a hot babe you thought impossible to meet.

This is what I would like to tell my ex:

You seem to find the dark when everything is bright.
You look for all that's wrong instead of all that's right.
Does it feel good to you to rain on my parade?
You never say a word unless it's to complain.
It's driving me insane...

If I were you, holding the world right in my hands,
The first thing I'd do is thank the stars for all that I have.

Look what surrounds you now more than you've ever dreamed.
Have you forgotten just how hard it used to be?
So what's it going to take for you to realize
It all could go away in one blink of an eye?
It happens all the time...

If I Were You,
Holding the world right in my hands,
The first thing I'd do,
Is thank the stars above,
For the ones I love,
Take a breath and enjoy the view,
Live the life that I wanted to.

In the end we will all be like ''Mike'', Happy with our new significant other. Believe it, it will happen.
So it shall be written, so it shall be done.

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Originally Posted by PirandelloLuigi

Thanks man, i think if you don't have a friend like trent, take some of Trent's attributes and some of Mikes and some of yours and mix them all together and you will have a recipe to try. Who knows maybe you will pick up a hot babe you thought impossible to meet.

This is what i would like to tell my ex:

You seem to find the dark when everything is bright.
You look for all that's wrong instead of all that's right.
Does it feel good to you to rain on my parade?
You never say a word unless it's to complain.
It's driving me insane...

If I were you, holding the world right in my hands,
the first thing I'd do is thank the stars for all that I have.

Look what surrounds you now more than you've ever dreamed.
Have you forgotten just how hard it used to be?
So what's it going to take for you to realize
it all could go away in one blink of an eye?
It happens all the time...

If I Were You,
holding the world right in my hands,
the first thing I'd do,
is thank the stars above,
for the ones I love,
take a breath and enjoy the view,
live the life that I wanted to.

In the end we will all be like ''Mike'', Happy with our new significant other. Believe it, it will happen.
So it shall be written, so it shall be done.

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What if you don't find someone else? You ll just end up growing old alone? >_<

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Originally Posted by none12345

what if you dont find someone else? you ll just end up growing old alone? >_<

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I never think what if, and I never think negative.

I will find a better woman and more compatible with me, I will grow old with her and we will share everything and go thtrough good and bad times together and strong.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by none12345

what if you dont find someone else? you ll just end up growing old alone? >_<

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NONE,
If you think this way... you will end up this way. Be optomistic about things. Its like staying alone in a dark room instead of taking a walk out on the beach. Its hard leaving something you know so well. Its like losing your eyesight. One minute you have sight on where you're goingand then... boom... all of a sudden your blinded to which direction to go next. I know how you feel, but don't let this feeling drag you down for long... Its very unhealthy. Explore other things life has to offer. Try something thrilling. Like parasailing or something. That'll take your mind off things for sure.:D Plan things to do with family and friends and try not to isolate yourself from others. Although its part of greiving and all... longterm isolation is no good.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by PirandelloLuigi

Thanks man, i think if you don't have a friend like trent, take some of Trent's attributes and some of Mikes and some of yours and mix them all together and you will have a recipe to try. Who knows maybe you will pick up a hot babe you thought impossible to meet.

This is what i would like to tell my ex:

You seem to find the dark when everything is bright.
You look for all that's wrong instead of all that's right.
Does it feel good to you to rain on my parade?
You never say a word unless it's to complain.
It's driving me insane...

If I were you, holding the world right in my hands,
the first thing I'd do is thank the stars for all that I have.

Look what surrounds you now more than you've ever dreamed.
Have you forgotten just how hard it used to be?
So what's it going to take for you to realize
it all could go away in one blink of an eye?
It happens all the time...

If I Were You,
holding the world right in my hands,
the first thing I'd do,
is thank the stars above,
for the ones I love,
take a breath and enjoy the view,
live the life that I wanted to.

In the end we will all be like ''Mike'', Happy with our new significant other. Believe it, it will happen.
So it shall be written, so it shall be done.

---

Beautiful!! :D You took my words right out of my mouth.
As for Friday, Hmmmm... Be yourself and remain to yourself. She will be looking for your reaction. Even if its to boost her ego. Beware of this. And remember you already know what you want so don't let your emotions get the best of you... let logic sink its way through. :)

What kind of reaction you think she will be looking for ?

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Originally Posted by LoveStoned

Beautiful!!!! :D You took my words right out of my mouth.
As for Friday, Hmmmm.....Be yourself and remain to yourself. She will be looking for your reaction. Even if its to boost her ego. Beware of this. And remember you already know what you want so don't let your emotions get the best of you....let logic sink its way through. :)

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You think she wants to see me sad and depressed?
Cause I am not depressed anymore, I'm doing a lot better. I go out more, go to gym, eat more, and gained my normal weight.

You already agreed that acting like a "normal patient" was the appropriate course of action.

Go in there all mopey and you are giving her the power and she will probably think it's pathetic. I would as a girl.

No reason to be mopey anymore, enough time has passed and I have moved on. I have the power now. She got no power over me anymore. I am free and independent and enjoying being single again.

GOOD LUCK WITH TOMORROW =P let us know what happened =P - none12345

I think I screwed up, she called me tonight around 6 and I went to her house. We talked in person.

She said she was dissapointed I did not make any effort to try to get back with her. She is not seeing anybody else, and still has feelings for me, but she said she has mixed emotions. She wants to be with me, but she is afraid of the draining arguments, she doesn't want to fall in the argument zone again.

I told her I completely understand and I am willing to be supportive, I told her to take some more time apart to sort things out in her mind. She is thankfull I am understanding.
She suggested we see each other slowly, without family and friends knowing. She wants to take her time.
I made it clear I'm not going in the friend zone. Cause if I want to kiss her or hug her, as friends we can't do that. She completely understands. So now only time will tell, what's going to happen.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by PirandelloLuigi

i think i screwed up, she called me tonight around 6 and i went to her house. we talked in person.

She said she was dissapointed i did not make any effort to try to get back with her. She is not seing anybody else, and still has feelings for me, but she said she has mixed emotions. She wants to be with me, but she is afraid of the draining arguments, she doesnt want to fall in the argument zone again.

I told her i completely understand and i am willing to be supportive, i told her to take some more time apart to sort things out in her mind. She is thankfull i am understanding.
She suggested we see each other slowly, without family and friends knowing. She wants to take her time.
I made it clear im not going in the friend zone. Cause if i wanna kiss her or hug her, as friends we can't do that. She completely understands. So now only time will tell, what's going to happen.

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OMG >_< DUDE!! Is this a good thing or bad thing? O_O you might just be getting what you want from the beginning? Or your going to go back to square one with the pain and all >_<

Quote:

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Originally Posted by none12345

OMG >_< DUDE!!! is this a good thing or bad thing? O_O you might just be getting what you want from the begining? or your going to go back to square one with the pain and all >_<

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It's hard to say, I am taking a chance, it could be a good thing or a bad. I hope it's good.
But now I got to back off or ill appear needy and clingy again.

I don't think I can feel anymore pain, as I did 4 weeks ago. I am comfortable around her now and she saw it tonight, I was in a good mood, she was laughing, we kissed. It was awsome. Of course there was also some weird moments when we talked about the past and trying to find a solution, and she cried. So yeah lot's of mixed emotions. It did not appear like she had moved on. So it's really hard for me to know what exactly she is thinking. Im trying as much as I can.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by PirandelloLuigi

I dont think i can feel anymore pain, as i did 4 weeks ago. I am comfortable around her now and she saw it tonight, i was in a good mood, she was laughing, we kissed. It was awsome. of course there was also some weird moments when we talked about the past and trying to find a solution, and she cried. So yeah lot's of mixed emotions. It did not appear like she had moved on. So it's really hard for me to know what exactly she is thinking. Im trying as much as i can.

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Oh please be careful and aware of her mixed emotions. I understand every situation is not the same. Maybe you guys can talk about things or maybe she just wants to string you along to accompany her confusion. My ex's last question to me was "Are you happy?" After realizing I still wanted him back he backed off once again... Just to make sure I was in pain.

Just be very careful. Don't fill yourself with false hopes. I personally would not get intimate with her until you guys can talk as friends and once she decides she wants to get back with you then you do whatever. But until then you are still able to become emotionally attached from being physically involved.

I was there too!!!!So please take things very very slow.

Is it dangerous if she wants to be just casual for now?

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Originally Posted by PirandelloLuigi

is it dangerous if she wants to be just casual for now?

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What's casual? Casual as friends? Than yes. And don't expect it to ever be more than that. If she wanats friendship that means she wants you in your life but not as her boyfriend and don't expect that to change.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by LoveStoned

Oh please be careful and aware of her mixed emotions. I understand every situation is not the same. Maybe you guys can talk about things or maybe she just wants to string you along to accompany her confusion. My ex's last question to me was "Are you happy?" After realizing I still wanted him back he backed off once again....Just to make sure I was in pain.

Just be very careful. Don't fill yourself with false hopes. I personally would not get intimate with her until you guys can talk as friends and once she decides she wants to get back with you then you do whatever. But until then you are still able to become emotionally attached from being physically involved.

I was there too!!!!So please take things very very slow.

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How can you talk as friends and then become lovers again? I hear you can't fall in the friend zone, you will be trapped there if you fall in that zone. What I want to know is, is it possible to be in a casual relationship and fall in love again and go back to serious relationship?