Will do... thanks for all the advice guys...

I must say this site is the best thing I came across so far... Thank you all so much again I feel like a kid in a candy store lol..

Will keep you updated!

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by kadd0007

Now should i go or should i not go??????? I know if i go its going to be hard and awkward seeing her but i am sure i could deal with it....

---

Read your post above, you answered your own question, well done ;)

You've answered your own questions. Don't live your life around her. Otherwise that just puts her in control.

I personally think, be a man, and say "Hi" FIRST. Don't say anything else. Just go up and say "Hi". I don't like the idea of not saying a word. Especially if you guys have mutual friends and you might see her again.

In some ways, that also shows her that she had less power over you. You just don't care anymore.

yeah that was the plan really is only to aknowledge her one time and one time only and that is by saying hello.

After that she does not exist for the rest of the night and hopefully for the rest of my life =)

( I say that because more and more stuff are being said about what she has done behind my back and man I don't even ever want her as a friend!! )

That sucks that you have to learn about all her crap. Sometimes it's just best to not know this stuff - it sucks she's friends of friends, but hopefully her friends learn this crap as well and see what type of person she is.

Guys get all the bad press... but some women can be tas nasty or worse.

Not every women is this way.

The hell with what everyone else says you must do what you want to and not be worried about what anyone thinks. You can't let one rotten apple influence you at all. Hold your head up and be yourself. Whom ever doesn't like it, so what!

Hey guys,

By now most of you are aware of my situation. I got many signs of closure but today I am having a down day and I need another if it is there.

All of you must know that 5 steps of grief and how they work, well in the past couple of weeks I took several steps forward but today I am taking one back.

In your experience? Regardless of the fact that she was with another guy and she did cheat on me, do you think she still misses me at all or even still slightly think about me?

Again I am only asking to try and make myself feel better, this will not make me call her or want her back in any way as its been 3 weeks now and no contact non so ever YAY.

Thanks guys I hope our answers will make my day =)

Right OK.

Whether she missed you or not, what difference would it make to you. Would it really really make you feel any better.
If you found out she missed you, you would probably end up back to square one, instead of taking further the right steps of grief.
AND
If you found out she does not miss you, you will definitley feel worse of.
So think about it... do you really want to know?

Sometimes its best not knowing... the truth hurts.

We all remember our first, second and third... it is the way of life... if the experiences were good or bad we will remember... remembrance is that... that gives us a reason to continue on... if she is a kind person... she will remember the good old days... right... what is good is you moving on... like I tell many people after a break up... the word up... meaning you will move up... let's not stay down... that sort of feeling /situation will do you and any one else no good... move on... yell to yourself... Next!. did that feel good... do you feel better... empower yourself... go the salon and have a facial, hair-cut, ped and manicure... buy a new out fit... or press out one in the closet... go and get the next one... improve yourself by paying attention to you...

Yeah Dude, who cares about this woman... you have seen her true colors recently.

You can't ever want to go back to a cheater.

You don't want to keep someone who doesn't want to keep you.

trust me guys, I never asked the above question because I want her back in any way.

You all know that at the moment I miss her, and the hardest part about all this is the fear of the unknown and which is I don't know if she misses me.

and to answer your question yeah I would feel better if she misses me and no it would not prompt me to contact her. On the other hand is she doesn't then I would not be surprised so it won't make it worse.

I will never know for sure because I a not asking her friends, I am asking you guys, but I guess no one knows for sure =(

Personally I think you are better than that. You deserve much better than a cheater. There is no excuse for that type of behaviour. It sounds like you are moving on, just keep going. There is someone out there way better for you. Three weeks will turn into 4 weeks, then 2 months and soon you will not think of her at all except to say, that you are glad to be out of there.

I think she probably misses you a bit. Anytime there is a change in someone's life there is an adjustment period. That doesn't mean she would want you back, but I'm sure you are in her thoughts.


I think you are doing great. Just keep on going forward. Take care.

Kadd -- the grief process is always three steps forward, one step back for everyone so please lower expectations about it and your progress, okay? Secondly, what you miss is not her but what the two of you had, for a time, which is now gone-- completely and totally gone. It is gone whether you got her back, even. So tell yourself the truth in this one and let the healing really be what it is -- over the loss of that, not her. My condolences on your loss too. Lastly, we all think about our past lovers. But how we think about them doesn't define who they are, they do that all by themselves. So know that even if she thought of you often and fondly or hardly and bitterly, you still are who you are because of YOU.

Now go outside and look up into the sky a while -- the fresh air will do you good and its important to remind ourselves while grieving that its still a big wide world out there full of wonderous things, okay? It will be okay eventually, it really will.

It's hard to say whether she misses you or thinks about you now or not. But she will have her regrets eventually. Sooner or later she'll come to realize that she made poor choices and has to deal with the consequences of those choices. Meanwhile, you just keep getting on with your own life and don't look back ; you know the drill.

Well thanks a lot guys I did need that!!

I just want Sunday to come and go so I could say it will be the last time I see her!!

I am sure seeing her will set me back another step for a little while but its worth letting her know that I am doing OK without her!!

Dude, remember, say "HI" first, and then walk away. SHE SUCKS, and that's all she DESERVES from you.

Val - once again - outstanding.

Kadd - read Val's post again.

I wouldn't worry about seeing her... sometimes when you actually see them... you realize WHAT THEY REALLY ARE - sometimes we get this false feeling in our head about someone and it isn't REALITY!!

You may be repulsed by her and feel good ridience.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by valinors_sorrow

It is gone whether you got her back, even.

---

REMEMBER THAT!! That is huge. It'll NEVER BE THE SAME, even if she comes back. The first time around DIDN'T WORK, REMEMBER THAT. IF there is a NEXT TIME, it HAS TO BE DIFFERENT. Otherwise, the SAME THING WILL HAPPEN.

People really need to understand this, WHEN THEY WANT SOMEONE BACK. IT CAN AND SHOULD NEVER BE THE SAME, or the SAME RESULTS WILL TRANSPIRE.

It has to be something NEW and FRESH.