Yeah been there lmao. I though I'd never be contacted again but O hell I was wrong. Chin up and keep trucking for someone who will care. The love is there in the old her but people change.
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Lesson you should always remember! The relationship wasn't meaningless and wasted but it will be if you do not learn from it. Both persons wrongs. Enjoy life for what is, read my thread here and maybe it will make you feel better specially with what happened recently.
I can actually say my break up was the best thing to happen to me. I ended up on this site, found out mistakes I was making in my previous relationships and solved a lot of my personal issues. Made myself someone that is capable of being loved, not by someone else but by myself. Since my break up, I have fell in love with a terrific girl, live together and are engaged. So to put it gently, it's not about how long the rain stays, but how long gain you endure it knowing there are sunny days ahead.
Rome is like my best buddy on this site, very intelligent and great man, tells it how it is and has a very inspiring story, I hope I have one one day too for everyone, stayed tuned!
To be continued...
p.s. - Blackvy and wiked you guys all right too, lol. We'll all be okay and loved and families and all that bs, happily ever after, ha ha. Life's tooooo funny. Everyone believe in that karma stuff? I sure do!
Haha... dude... u sound high... lol..
But yeah... hope we all have a happy ending to our life stories...
Never smoked or took a drug a day in my life! Put that in your pipe and smoke it! Haha I might drink a little too often though, lol but I kicked the habit when the woman left no need for that ish when your upset.
This site seriously kicks butt though, helps me a lot when I got nothing else and learn a lot from it too.
True that... I agree... this site rocks... so glad I found it... weird thing is I found it while checking out weddings and stuff for me and my girl... but its helped me through more than that.. and now is helping me with the break up thing...
Me too bro... neva smoked or popped a pill eva... drank a little when I was younger, but not anymore... and yeah, not a good idea to drink when upset... got to keep a clear mind... :)
Hehe I totally believe in Karma. I mean just think about the instant effect it has... if I'm incolent and pissy towards the people I work with then they'll be the same way towards me.
The whole NC thing is pretty hard though! I've changed my phone no. cause I couldn't deal with x boyfriend calling and texting me every week. Then when he couldn't reach me by phone he just showed up outside my apartment. I didn't let him in though. I live on the first storry (spell?) so I just stood on my veranda and he was on the oiutside of it. Then he contacted me on Facebook to fight about all the little things he can't fight with me about anymore. (he also tries to apologies for stuff he's said like 6 months ago or 4 months ago... to smooth things over.. GEEZ it bugs me)
I have to say LCM your experience and this post definitely changed me. My way of looking at things, my perspective, the way I think... I like it! :D
BlackVY: yeah om pretty happy about finding this site as well... I'm a total fan hehe
OH by the way I told the guy I like that I like him. Hehe didn't go to well though. We were at a work thing and had a few beers to celebrate that one of the people at work has quit... (this sounds mean, but she managed to mess with our kids and set them back as much as 3 years when it comes to development.)
and I told him. I wasn't wasted, but I guess I miss calculated how wased he was. Anyway, I told him and he said he kind of knew and that it wasn't mutual... and then he told me to tell him face to face again today. Should I do that? Seriously a flag went up in my head when he said that... like he's trying to mess with me head. You are guys... what do you think about it?
-roxy to the poxy :)
Ps: I'm not taking it that hard either... I think it was worth the risk you know.
I'm glad that I've changed your life in some way or look, if you could elaborate that be cool, just wondering how people form the outside look at it, you know?
Do what he says I suppose, that's a different situation like let it lie all out there for yourself so at least you know, like seriously it's better to strike out then not go up to bat at all. :-P
Thank you. That is true. Maybe I should just do like he said. It couldn't really hurt.
Well, just to see how you handled everything I realized that I needed to handle my situation in a different way than what I have been doing. Also you have a very positive out look on things. And I like that!
So, Happy Thanksgiving to everyone.
I had some free time on my hands today, so I decided to go back and read everything I wrote on this post and see what happened and how it happened and I realized a lot of things.
I realized that this situation was blown way out of proportion by myself, I should have just simply stuck to what she said to me, and take it for what it was, instead all this over analyzing destroys your head and makes you think of every little detail and scenario instead of just simply realizing you have the answers to your situation right in front of your face.
Basically, just take things for what they are now-a-days if someone asks you for a break, grant them the break, they want space give them their space, they want to break up because they don't think it's working, let them go, that's all you can simply do you will drive yourself absolutely up the wall trying to analyze every stitch of information you knew, just take your love's word for it.
I'll tell you right now though, love IS real, I wouldn't lie to you guys about it, have the utmost confidence in your love for someone and the love they have for you, and everything will work itself out, and you truly have nothing to worry about or fear. You've all heard it a million times, if it's meant to be, it's meant to be.
Remember, "if you truly love something, set it free, it'll come back if it's meant to be."
It is good that you are staying optimistic and things could go either way. It depends on how you two will be able to communicate with each other now and in the future. And you should not take the entire blame for this break-up. It takes two people to travel down the relationship road with all the bumps, and together they should be able and willing to smoothen things out.
During the holidays, most couples that broke up recently tend to contact each other - it's the 'sentimental' part of us that comes out now and then.
But, if this young lady had the 'controlling' urge to check your emails, and follow you to forums, she is not helping you in getting closure. She is stringing you on and keeping you for a back-up. She has control of your emotions and that is not safe for you. She should either give you positive encouragement, or leave you the heck alone so that you can go on with your life. This is just my opinion, and you are the one who is communicating with her, so it is also your decision as to what steps to take next. I just paint another picture for you to look at - don't want anyone to walk blindly...
And... if you think now that this is the one you want to spend the rest of your life with.. you have to honestly ask yourself . WHY?
Do you like being controlled by someone else? Do you really think that you could get back together and things will be just fine and dandy and that all of the pain and frustration caused will go away? All I'm saying is that things will never be the 'way they were'. Change is inevitable.
We've been there, done that, and we all know that it will never work this way. We have to have the chance to grow and advance and be together in harmony without having old issues thrown at us every time one of us gets upset. So, if I were you' I'd seriously rethink this whole relationship and find out if it is all really worth your valuable time and effort.
We've all had hopes and dreams like this in our lives, but to be honest, they rarely come to fruition - wishful thinking that all will be better just because we are hurting and hate to be alone is not reason enough to maintain a relationship with someone. We have to have mutual respect and stop playing games.. and if one or the other cannot do this, then it's a great big waste of time and one is not ready to have a long-lasting relationship in their lives yet. It takes the willingness of both and a lot of communicating without casting blame. So, you need to be sure you are ready to work hard and decide if you will really benefit or if you would be better off healing and moving on.
No matter what you decide, I wish you all the best and hope you keep us posted.
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Thanks kindly chery!
I understand where your coming from 100%
I've used this time apart from my love to basically, wake up, grow up, and step up to the plate of life, and I'm swinging for the fences now, the only question truly in the back of my mind will the love of my life ever want to come on this journey with me?
Only time will tell and, I'm okay with that. I'm going to make myself very successful and become a great person and try and help everyone in my life that I can, with every second that I can.
If it's meant to be, it's meant to be. The universe will work itself out.
Good for you honey, keep that positive outlook in your life and reach your goals!
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