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Originally Posted by Ash123

Well buddy, you do want her back and it would be a disaster.

BUT IT'S OK.

Listen, you are a heterosexual male with love still in your heart.

But TRUST ME, she is a mess, and you need to keep going forward, even when you miss her. Breaking NC is human. But try to think of the pain you've already endured.

Peace.

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Maybe I still want her back.. Maybe I don't. I honestly don't know... I don't think I do but I am not sure... I am just going to take things they way they come. As for the pain I have already endured... It was actually you and one other guy from another forum who, through your posts, gave me a kick in the butt a few months ago and convinced me to crawl out of the mud I was in (being needy and desperate to get her back... ) Rest assured that my lesson is learned. I will never have to put myself in that position anymore... EVER !

Its OK to put yourself out there, but only for someone who has your back. Until then don't risk more than u can afford to lose-or you are making a bad investment in your life.
The only thing I can add is that she is too young to be your life partner anyway. U began when she was 18 or so. She needs a few more years to grow up and you need to find a more mature girl.really

Well, I texted her today asking her to go out for a drink. She called me about 20 minutes later, we talked for about 10-15 minutes again... She told me that she has been thinking about us going out since the day I initially told her so (2 days ago). She started crying and told me that, although she wants to see me "VERY VERY MUCH", she think that it would be a setback for her, she would be a mess and start crying in front of everyone and that, although she may be with another guy, she is definitely not over me yet, she thinks that she will actually never be over me and that a part of her heart will always belong to me.

Of course, I know better than to believe the words coming from a crying woman when her actions say otherwise. I told her that I didn't know she still had these feelings for me and thought that she was over me, otherwise I wouldn't have called her. I told her that it may also be difficult for me seeing her but I really wanted to see her and since she also wanted to, there was no reason for it not to happen and that I would do my best not to make the meeting emotionally overwhelming for any of us. I tried to change her mind for a couple minutes (not sounding needy or anything, on the contrary, still keeping my humor and cool-ness), she told me she would get back to me within a few hours if she decided to come...

Well she hasn't called, so I texted her the following (I'm quoting here) : "Seems like you decided not to come. Maybe it's better this way... Reminds me of the time you had told me to come to the baptism on July and I didn't... And then regretted it ;-). Have a nice evening, sweetie, good luck with anything you do in your life and I hope that you will always be happy and smiling... Many many kisses !!!"

And that's it for me... No pain, no setbacks to my healing no nothing... It was something I HAD to do. Now I'm heading out for a drink...

See you around fellas !

Man, you are vulnerable.

Be careful. She is a drama queen that you want to sleep with.

Bad idea.

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Originally Posted by Ash123

Man, you are vulnerable.

Be careful. She is a drama queen that you want to sleep with.

bad idea.

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Nah, I am sure I won't be contacting her... 100 percent sure!! If SHE calls, we'll see... Although I doubt it... But then again... So what??

Cheers... Just got back... 7 am here!!

Good morning people... And thanks ash (and everyone) for your much valuable help... Really helps and I really appreciate it.

Just woke up... 4 pm here!! :p:p lol Last night was a total blast...

Anyway, I just read through the entire thread AGAIN (:D) and, Ash, it seems like you were always completely accurate on your assumptions about my feelings and process of thought, all the way through. Seems like you have a "gift" "reading" people.. Or maybe it's just experience gained through all these years and all these threads...

After everything that has happened these previous months and after the latest happenings, now that my feelings have cooled off a bit, would you take 10 minutes of your time and use your "gift" in order to post your assumptions on HER way of thinking, her feelings, why she acted this way all these months, why she still cries over us, and, finally, (I don't think I'm actually going to write this :D), the chances of us reconciling in the future (months, years whatever... ) Because, honestly, listening to her crying over the phone and telling me all these things she told me, first of all confused me and also made me think that perhaps it wouldn't be THAT BAD to be with that woman again sometime in the future. (Not that I will wait for her, pursue her or stay pondering about it, of course... ;) )

P.S. : I just remembered that she also told me over the phone that, prior to me calling her last Tuesday on her birthday, she was discussing with her best girl-friend whether I would call her!! I hadn't talked to her or shown any sign of me for more than 2 months, she is with another guy but still discusses whether I would call her or not?? These are the things that confuse me...

Well, she broke NC.

She called me today in the morning and told me that she is really sick and having a terrible headache which wouldn't go away with the usual medicines and asked my opinion on what to do (I'm a doctor).

I told her that it was impossible for me to diagnose her on the phone and that I needed to see her (me or any other doctor for that matter) and examine her in order to know what's wrong. She asked if I had time to do it in the morning, I said no and asked her to come over in the afternoon or for me to go visit her at her house. Well, she told me that she would call me and let me know if things didn't go better, she asked me NOT to call her (I didn't have any intention to, actually), because she might be in trouble (with her boyfriend) and that she will probably go see a doctor near her house if the headache insisted. She thanked me "VERY VERY MUCH" and we hung up. Of course she hasn't called since!

Now I am wondering, what the hell is wrong with her ? There are many doctors out there she could have visited... It sounds to me like a silly excuse to call me... Why ? Or am I over-reacting again ?

BTW, I don't expect her to call me ever again.

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Originally Posted by broken_arro

Well, she broke NC.

She called me today in the morning and told me that she is really sick and having a terrible headache which wouldn't go away with the usual medicines and asked my opinion on what to do (I'm a doctor).

I told her that it was impossible for me to diagnose her on the phone and that I needed to see her (me or any other doctor for that matter) and examine her in order to know what's wrong. She asked if I had time to do it in the morning, I said no and asked her to come over in the afternoon or for me to go visit her at her house. Well, she told me that she would call me and let me know if things didn't go better, she asked me NOT to call her (I didn't have any intention to, actually), because she might be in trouble (with her boyfriend) and that she will probably go see a doctor near her house if the headache insisted. She thanked me "VERY VERY MUCH" and we hung up. Of course she hasn't called since!

Now I am wondering, what the hell is wrong with her ? There are many doctors out there she could have visited... It sounds to me like a silly excuse to call me... Why ? Or am I over-reacting again ?

BTW, I don't expect her to call me ever again.

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ALRIGHT BUDDY!! *hi-5*!!

I love how girls use the "I need to talk/see you because (insert reasoning).. but I don't want my new douche boyfriend to know."

Anyways, tell her you're way too busy and you can't do anything... and tell her to go to a hospital or clinic...

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Originally Posted by hjpan

ALRIGHT BUDDY!! *hi-5*!!

I love how girls use the "I need to talk/see you because (insert reasoning).. but I don't want my new douche boyfriend to know."

Anyways, tell her you're way too busy and you can't do anything... and tell her to go to a hospital or clinic...

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Well actually it was me who proposed to see her in order to examine her. All she wanted from me (at least that's what she said) was to ask me if I had any medicine to propose via phone. She didn't actually know I am still in town, she told me she thought I had left...

Of course she sounded eager to come in the morning but not in the afternoon, cause she thought she would be extremely tired by then (she had to attend a class at her uni)... On the other hand, who the hell goes to his/her classes if a headache is THAT strong ?

Oh well...

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Originally Posted by broken_arro

Well actually it was me who proposed to see her in order to examine her. All she wanted from me (at least that's what she said) was to ask me if I had any medicine to propose via phone. She didn't actually know I am still in town, she told me she thought I had left...

Of course she sounded eager to come in the morning but not in the afternoon, cause she thought she would be extremely tired by then (she had to attend a class at her uni)... On the other hand, who the hell goes to his/her classes if a headache is THAT strong ?

Oh well...

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Hmmm... tell her that you're busy :D

Nah, she hasn't called and I don't actually intend to contact her...

Just let her be..

Well, she texted me this morning. "I am feeling better today. Just so you don't worry. Kisses."

I replied "I'm happy for you. Take care. Wish you a happy recovery."

Maybe I shouldn't have replied... But anyway, I did it.

And, again, I don't plan on initiating contact.. And I also don't think she'd be contacting me anymore... She run out of excuses to do so... ;)

Suggestions on how to proceed if she ever contacts again ? What the hell is she thinking nayways ? I followed every advice on this forum and it has brought me this far... Now what ?

I don't know what she may be thinking, but I know what you should do if she contacts you again, for whatever reason.

Busy, unavailable, but polite, and keep it brief, and under no circumstance be drawn into a long conversation about the past, or you two together, no matter what she says. Politely have something important to do.

This is no contact, and there is no reason to be rude cruel or gullible or confused.

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Originally Posted by talaniman

I don't know what she may be thinking, but I know what you should do if she contacts you again, for whatever reason.

Busy, unavailable, but polite, and keep it brief, and under no circumstance be drawn into a long conversation about the past, or you two together, no matter what she says. Politely have something important to do.

This is no contact, and there is no reason to be rude cruel or gullible or confused.

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I hear you, tal. And that's what I did and will be doing. However, what does it accomplish, really ?

What does it accomplish?

It slowly removes a wreck from your life.

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what does it accomplish, really ?

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It gives you a chance to deal with your feelings, and see some reality, and not be confused by the emotions of another.

Dealing with your issues is better from a perspective of real, and honest, vision, and it leads to better decisions be made on your behalf.

Well, it seems like I am on the right road to healing. I have to admit that after wishing her on her birthday and her contacting me when she was sick, I did wonder for a few days about her intentions.. Or MY intentions for that matter. And my mind DID go back to the first days after the breakup. Nothing compared to the depression I was facing back then, I just started thinking of her and missing her again.

However, today, only 2 days after our last contact, I feel free again, and got back to the stage I was before I contacted her last Thursday ! After only 2 days!!

Yes, I still want her to call me (who doesn't, anyway ?) and the thoughts of reconciliation are always on the back of my mind (they never left actually), but I have absolutely ZERO intentions to contact or chase her or even wait for her... I am living my life to its full extent right now, enjoying being single.

BTW, just got back from the gym... AMAZING what those endorphins can do to your psychology!! :D