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Originally Posted by DMA

I'm a nice guy. Really I am. I've even been told by one female recently that I am kind and gentle. I am nice enough to be her friend, but not I'm not her boy friend. Other guys have girl friends that they verbally and/or physically abuse. Knowing that and feeling even less attractive than these jerks is destroying my self esteem :( I don't get it, do any girls in this world even want to be with a nice guy?

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How do you define yourself as "nice" ?

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Originally Posted by Kitty1978

how do you define yourself as "nice" ?

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I'm a nice guy as well. Here's my definition: I don't play games with people's emotions, I don't misrepresent myself in order to make someone attracted to me, I'm respectful to people who are also respectful.

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Originally Posted by NeedKarma

I'm a nice guy as well. Here's my definition: I don't play games with people's emotions, I don't misrepresent myself in order to make someone attracted to me, I'm respectful to people who are also respectful.

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Do you thing lots of guys out there say that they are not "nice", when they play those games?


I dated someone which told me he just wanted fun from our first meet. He was not what I wanted, maybe he was a jerk even, but he was nice to tell me from the beginning. So we stopped the relation, and It didn't hurt,

But I had two other ones, which pretended to be very very nice and faithful, but I just remember of "PAIN" from my last 2-3 months of our relationship. So you thing they believe that they are not nice?

In my idea, guys obviously ignore girls emotions, and they think that its just being spoiled... they can't understand "deep feeling". At least ones I ve met been like that :(...

What the. Guys ignore girls' emotions?

I think it's even on both sides. Some guys are idiots, some girls are just plain stupid. If we can't understand "deep feelings," tell that to the thousands of guys who are here on the relationship forum that come here after being dumped after 3 years of a great relationship because the girl found someone new. I'm not saying that it's the girls' faults... but if that doesn't say guys can understand "deep feelings" then I'm not sure what does.

I'm sorry about your past experiences but your can't judge all men by the actions of a few. At this moment my wife is receiving flowers at her office to celebrate her new job. We are all different in the same that women are all individuals. Yes people lie, just hang on to your standards - I've dated many women who played a part to please me at the beginning only to find out that's not the real person that they really are.

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Originally Posted by NeedKarma

I'm sorry about your past experiences but your can't judge all men by the actions of a few. At this moment my wife is receiving flowers at her office to celebrate her new job. We are all different in the same that women are all individuals. Yes people lie, just hang on to your standards - I've dated many women who played a part to please me at the beginning only to find out that's not the real person that they really are.

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You mean I should keep getting hurt and searching for "nice" guy? You know, I become badly clinically depressed just because of those bad experiences, at this point that I'm writing here...

Hm. That does stink.

But look at it this way, diamond miners mine for days without finding something.

Your other options are... to just stop looking, and hope one'll come to you... but really, us nice guys, we're all out there.

Ok, then pick the 'dangerous types' and enjoy yourself.

Before you pair up with anyone else make sure that you are happy with yourself or it will always be destined to failure.

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Originally Posted by NeedKarma

Ok, then pick the 'dangerous types' and enjoy yourself.

Before you pair up with anyone else make sure that you are happy with yourself or it will always be destined to failure.

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I'm happy with myself, I've been good in everything, successful in job, education, I look very good (I shouldn't say it myself, I know) anyway... but relationships... Oops... I don't dare anymore...

Nothing wrong with a little time off. Go out with a group of girls and have fun, you never know what may find you. :)

Just want to add to kitty's posts something along a similar line:

I've observed over my life, that people who advertise themselves as being something, are not. For instance:

• People who call themselves 'open-minded', tend to be 'open-minded' to those who agree with them;)
  
• People who call themselves 'nice guys' tend to be nice only when/till it gets them what they want, (which isn't really very nice).

... etc...

Whereas, people who are something, They do not advertise it, they just are.

Well, in that case, I'd like to say that I'm the biggest jerkoff in the world.

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Originally Posted by sokay

Whereas, people who are something, They do not advertise it, they just are.

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In real life this is correct but hard to do on a website don't you agree? I guess I'll just have to have my posts back me up. But you seem to be more cynical than me, and that's tough to do! :)

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Originally Posted by sokay

Just want to add to kitty's posts something along a similar line:

I've observed over my life, that people who advertise themselves as being something, are not. For instance:

• People who call themselves 'open-minded', tend to be 'open-minded' to those who agree with them;)
  
• People who call themselves 'nice guys' tend to be nice only when/till it gets them what they want, (which isn't really very nice).

....etc....

Whereas, people who are something, They do not advertise it, they just are.

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Who advetised herself! He told me you should be happy with yourself first then others will be happy with you. I just meant that I have enough reason to be happy with myself. I don't need to convince people here that Im good! I don't know anybody, and nobody knows me.

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Originally Posted by Kitty1978

who advetised herself!? he told me you should be happy with yourself first then others will be happy with you. I just ment that I have enough reason to be happy with myself. I dont need to convince people here that Im good! I dont know anybody, and nobody knows me.

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Wow, you completely misunderstood my post. For starters, it wasn't directed towards you at all.

Sorry kitty, I think you misread sokay's post...

sokay just meant if someone says that they're rich, they probably aren't.. . that type of thing.

Not directed at you.

OK, sorry...

But I can't delete it anyway...

Yeah, thanks, Sneezy, that is more what I meant:)

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Originally Posted by sokay

Whereas, people who are something, They do not advertise it, they just are.

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I find that advertising myself as an @ss gets the job done :).

I may seem like a jerk at first, but after a couple conversations, I'm the nicest guy in the world.

I'm quite the opposite. I may seem like the sweetest guy in the world.

Spend 5 minutes with me, and you'll be calling me an arrogant jerk.

I don't go 2 days without someone calling me an @ss.