Don't waste your time anymore! Seriously... Your be dead one day, don't waste your time, every second wasted is one you won't get bck.

It's just hard I can't let go of her.

Why not? Pull yourself together man. Go out now and go to the gym, go do something...

I'm feeling a lot better today, had a couple of beers last night and put everything into perspective.I thought about how my life would be with her if we got married and it would have been her way or the highway. It doesn't matter no more. Even if she wants to come back I will never take her back. She's evil for playing with my head. I have let go for good
Now.I feel a little jealous but I feel OK if she's dating someone. It won't last any ways. The person she dates will realize what kind of a selfish, high maintenance, bipolar b***h she is. She probably feels pretty good now that he told me she has a boyfriend. But I don't care I am moving on and one day she will get her day to see me happy with a nice girl and she'll be miserable with her life. Hell if she couldn't make it work with me it won't work with anybody else. I just put up with her crap. But my sister is having a party on the 30th and inviting a lot of single girls. I guess once I start hanging out with other girls and see how nicer the are then ex, I probably say what the hell was I doing with her. But I don't feel like I'm back at square on no more. I'm feeling relived in away.

I want to start buy saying thanks to Tal, Chuff, Hair, Jiser, Manammoth, Emo and everyone else that has given me advise here on this site. But I need to take a break out of this site, Like Mac it just reminds me of her when I'm on here.

I found this site 3 1/2 months ago looking for advice, and for people to tell me yes she's coming back again. I no everyone has told me she not a nice person. But I guess I still wanted her back, even after all the advise I got here. But it is trully time to let go of her. She is my first love and maybe that's why I am having trouble letting go of her. But deep down inside she is not for me. Although I think of all the good times we all had together, she is a selfish, high maintenance, used me and maniplative person. I can't / don't hate her in fact I will always love her and her son. She is who she is, like I am who I am and I can't fault her. I do know that one day she will want to be friends after she goes through break up after break up even closure. She will not get either from me. Not to be mean but for her not hurt me ever again. We didn't always get into arguments and she was good to me most of the time. Maybe one day we could be friends but probably not, I'm sure one day when I have a new girlfriend she would not like that.

I know I will be on here again hopefully never asking questions about another break up. Hopefully on the dating and one day the marrige site getting opinions on how to make thinks work in a relationship. Because this break up and the other 5 break ups she had with me where and still are painful. I just wish she would have let go of me that first break up. But it was my fault for taking her back. But what done is done. Know I must trully let go and try not to think of her no more that is why I have to try to stay off here for a while. I do know I will be good in a few months. :)

Good for you!

I think you shouldn't leave the site yet... You have so much going on still... I think it's best you stay for another month or two before u leave.

I Think this is what is best for now. I will probably check in once a week to check to see if anybody responds to my threads. Or if I can't deal with my emotions I probably will return but I don't think that will be a problem anymore. I hope.

Hey SAB, never reply on any of your treads before but seeing you are leaving, I said to myself I have to post something for you.

I know it's so much up and down even AFTER the breakup because we still bear hope and wish things will work out our way. All the signals that we got from the ex may mean nothing to them but for us, we for sure will over react or take it as something big or some sort of a hints that they WILL come back, just a matter of time.

My ex-bf (yes, bf; and yes, I was his boyfriend before too :) ) changed his attitude towards me and I thought initially it maybe a good thing, but giving it a second thoughts, maybe he already moved on and let go... he is just trying to maintain a very low level of friendship now.

I truly value all the replies and everything that I've read from other treads because I learned a lot from there... but keep reading sometimes made me too confused about my own situation as well. I think you are right, too much information / advice may just keep reminding you about her.

So take care SAB, I know that one day, some day, you will stand up on your feet again and you will definitely let this whole thing be "history" and become a new man. All the best for you SAB.

I think I'll also drift away for a while... I need to heal and stand back on my feet as well. I can't take my thoughts off him... I still love him, and I still miss him a lot.

All the best :) Don't forget you are the one in control of your destiny. Make your life happen FOR YOU and no one else. You don't have to prove anything to anyone and make changes for you not your ex! If she happens to find out about changes and good things then who cares? Things can only get better, with NC you will have less confusion. Onwards and upwards my friend, good luck and keep busy!

I just spent the last couple hours reading my story here. One thing I see different about me is from reading my letters to ex by allheart the anger I have for her is fading so I think that is a good sign. And when I read all my threads I feel I have a void but by reading them from start to where I am now I feel that it's better we are a part. Everyone here and my friends, family and even me now are seeing her for what she is. Maybe I should have kept reading my threads from start to finish more. I think if I meet someone I could give that person 100% now.

I've decided to stay here and right down and vent when needed but will limit my time. I think this will be a good place to come back to months from now and see my progress and really see her for what she is. Maybe a couple time a week.

Its good to let go but not RUNAWAY from a community that helps each other out.. people need your advice... what makes this site great is giving advice to each other.. due to past expierances LET GO, but don't understand running away will not do much either GOOD LUCK

Sab you have to do what's best for you. If you think leaving is best then you must do it. Personally I feel like it gives me strength and makes me more aware of my own life to give advice here because it forces me to see how human being interact and how to act and react in certain situations. As you've probably noticed most of the issues on this board are ultimately very similar. I think most people get so caught up in there own lives they lose site of the bigger picture which is why many of them are so surprised when they get dumped or something bad happens to them.

You can learn a lot for yourself by helping out others and thinking "What would I do here" or "What is really going on here that the poster doesn't see" and then that actually helps you in your own life. That has been my experience anyway.

But I agree that sometimes you must take a break, and if this site reminds you of her then you need to start putting some new things in your life. Sometimes the best way to "reset" yourself is just to start over stop doing your daily routine. If this has become part of that routine or if you have a negative reaction coming here because of her then let go of it for awhile. Good luck.

EXACTLY Chuff and if everyone left , who would be around to help all the poor newbies in need of no contact!
Poor Tal you would be left with your hands full ;-)

Ha ha

Okkk lets do that ;-)

Let me just say what patient and nice people Tal and you are Chuff to go through most of the posts and give such great indepth advice. Amazing!

Anyhow that's all my niceness for today lol:)

Yes I have decided to stay and help out the newbies and others who have been around since I have been on. But for my situation I think I will be OK. She is actually pushing me away from her now. Her sons step brother drove past my back yard then turned around, then acouple hours later he did the same thing. Then a couple hours later the ex drove past slowely. Now I know she doesn't have a boyfriend and son's step brother was sent to do this. But I don't care know more she is pushing me further away from her and that is ggod for me. Last night is first time I didn't dream of her and slept through the night. But I am going to stay here and help others like I was helped.

I Think have made a huge leap in my healing. Yesterday, was missing her. Was in back yard and saw her sons step brother driving buy, so I ran into house. He drove past my back yard turned around and went past front of house. A couple of hours later he does the samIe thing. Then a couple hours later my ex drives past slow. The way she was coming she went out of her way. As she was driving past last night I thought to myself what is her problem. I believe she is starting to push me away. I had a great night sleep. And I don't think I had one dream about her. And usaully I think of her all the time and I haven't really a lot today. I just hope I can feel like this all the time. But analyized the hole She has a boyfriend thing. I think she put him up to it. And it doesn't bother me any more.

Why is she f******g with me. As you know 6 days ago my ex's sons step brother came over and I asked how she was and said with a grin on his face she has a boyfriend and he drives a jeep with big tires. Then left He got that out and left. The Next night I drove past her house because I was jealous and wanted see if it was true. No jeep she was home swimming. A hour later step brother came to my house and only aske this question and left rite away. He said How are you coping with it. I said I'm OK and he left. I wasn't crying just long day and no sleep from night before. But my eyes were sad looking. Which they were.But yesterday, was in back yard and saw her sons step brother driving buy, so I ran into house. He drove past my back yard turned around and went past front of house. A couple of hours later he does the same thing. Then a couple hours later my ex drives past slow. The way she was coming she went out of her way. As she was driving past last night I thought to myself what is her problem. I still miss her but I think she is starting to push me away. I had a great night sleep. And I don't think I had one dream about her. And usaully I think of her all the time and I haven't really a lot today. I just hope I can feel like this all the time. But analyized the hole she has a boyfriend thing. I think she put him up to it. And it doesn't bother me any more. But why does she keep doing this, even if she has a boyfriend witch makes me sooo jealous keep doing this. If I had a girl friend I would care less about that person I broke up with. I did let go of her last night again and feel good about myself now. For how long I don't know but why is she doing this.

P.S.-My sistuation may be a little different then most peoples here (Read all my threads to know hole story) But for you new comers that read this,Remember I asked him about my ex and he told me she has a boyfriend now. I still get upset but this is why NC and wanting to check up on ex is not a good idea. You may not like what you see or hear. Although she may be making this up It still hurts like hell. NC all the way to you are healty.

Its simple really. She misses you. She still has feelings for you.

I would say that she doesn't have a boyfriend. I think the brother was put up to getting info on you because she isn't over you at all. She drives past... she puts her brother up to seeing how you are. She makes up this story about a BF to see if you still care. Maybe to even get you to make a move.

Simple answer is she isn't over you at all. She in fact is kind of obsessed with you. She has jerked you around 6 times already. She sounds like she wants round 7.

The question is... has she worked out her problems... has she even begun to heal herself. And do you want to put yourself through any of this again.

In the 5 years we were together she has managed to ruin 3 summers for me. Being depressed most of the time this summer will be a little better by me further in my healing process. This is the furthest she has let me heal. She did tell me once she always had another guy lined up before she broke up with anybody. She told me every break up she has respect for me not to do this. I know I shouldn't have emailed her and told her hope everything works out between you and newboyfriend. I was just so angry and jealous when I found out. And in the past 6 weeks she has drove buy or stared at me while we saw each other driving I have not waved when she does or looked when she looks at me. Which was harder then hell.

Keep up the good work... I'm still not convinced you're going out as often as you should... watch movies... go out man... u'll be surprised how good it feels going out all clean and good looking!

You are right I should be going out more then I am. One minute I'm fine then I get down on myself and don't feel like it. But I am going to force myself to go out. Like Thur. Going out to beer garden with some buddies. I hope I meet some nice pretty girls their.

Yea... Just focus on having a good time... Let the ladies want to see you... Not the other way around!

Sab... brother... focus on you.

You know all the reasons you shouldn't be with her. I know it is hard because you still have all these emotions there. Its hard to let them go... to have someone you care about break that sacred trust... to wake up everyday not having them beside you.

I know it is tough being alone. We all want someone to be there... someone to hold and love. Someone to love us and care about us. But you and I know that she wasn't the one to do that. You deserve better.

Just realize this. She was a weight around your neck. Always pulling you down with her actions. She kept your emotions up in the air... she kept your life chaotic.

You now have a chance to start over. To get your emotions back to normal. Drop that weight that is around your shoulders. Make decisions based on what you want and what makes you happy.

Just let her go.

I did let her go and feel better. But last night I had 3 dreams about her 2 of them where the same dream. We where laying beside each other she wanted me back and I said no she started crying and I took her back. Then my pain went away again. S**t like this keeps me thinking of her and when I see her driving. I don't think I want her back but sometimes I wish I could hug and give her a kiss one last time.

It's been over 4.5 months. I know she's wrong for me, but why can't I let her go and move on with my life. Although this 6th break up is a little easir then others but I still hurt and miss her.

Wow... Another post? Why don't you just continue from your other one. We will read it... Anyway... You have a good job and all. Go out more... Thats it. Get busy!

You crack me up Emo, I needed to laugh rite now, Thanks Buddy. I just yhink of how pretty she is and the way she hugged and held me. Sometimes I wish she would come back and put the ball back into my court.

I know right? I hear you man... But we are Men... We have to be tougher than this. Get this song by Des'ree It's called you got to be... look for it.

I know how you feel SAB, I was with my X for about 5 years. I've been with my current g/f for about 3 years now, and I still find myself thinking of my X a LOT. Granted, its not near as often, but there are still times I just sit and think about how much fun we used to have. I've learned to try to use that as motivation though, maybe you could do the same. Like when I think of when we went on a trip somewhere, I think of how great it was. So then I try to make an even better memory with my new g/f, instead of going to one place, for one night, we'll go to 5 places in a week.

Wow I wish I could still want my ex then at least id want sum1 lol read my post brecause my situation is a lot different then yours but I still feel bad about it.

It's tough. I'm in a similar situation right now. We are great together, but it can't work because of our age difference. She's wrestling with someday becoming a mom and I'm too old for that. I feel helpless because there are so many things I can do naturally to help build our relationship, but I can't do anything about the age difference. Yeah, I know the stars can do it... nannys etc. Are you unable to move on because you are in love with her, or you obsessed with her. There is a big difference. I'm dealing with this question a lot.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by ramblinguy

It's tough. I'm in a similar situation right now. We are great together, but it can't work because of our age difference. she's wrestling with someday becoming a mom and I'm too old for that. I feel helpless because there are so many things I can do naturally to help build our relationship, but I can't do anything about the age difference. Yeah, I know the stars can do it......nannys etc. Are you unable to move on because you are in love with her, or you obsessed with her. There is a big difference. I'm dealing with this question a lot.

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Because I am in love with her. If you read my other post I don't know if she has a new boy friend but if not she is obsessed with me.

I was doing pretty good but ever since my ex's sons step brother told me she has a so called boyfriend I feel unwanted, a little jealous, and wanting her back now. Why?

Have u not taken any advise yet?

In the beginning I was but when she started driving buy waving 2.5 months after break up that is when I started missing and wanting her back again?

LET GO MY FRIEND... It's over... Even if she comes back it's still over... Move on... I hope to hear on Monday that you went out at least twice to have a good time.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by SAB123

In the beginning I was but when she started driving buy waving 2.5 months after break up that is when I started missing and wanting her back again?

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You are letting her stay on your mind, and not following the advice of other posts and staying busy. How many cars do you see driving by, and then see hers? If you where busy and getting a life that you enjoy without her, you would not be aware that she drives by, nor would you care.

It just suck... The fact she maybe messing around with some other dude now hurts. I just wonder if she still thinks of me. That would make me feel better. I just need to find a nice pretty girl to get my mind her! I think maybe I'm in shock, Ever since my ex's sons step brother came over and said she had a boyfriend I have been thinking of her more. Maybe I'm jealous. Well I got some what over the first stage I think once it settles in I'll be fine.