Ask Me Help Desk - I fell in love with this girl that treated me bad. Now she's gone I want her back.

Less than 3 % of the people who break up get back together-and about 1% of those 3 manage to work through their problems.

That's statistics,as far as I've been able to check it out.

Dismal prognosis,don't you think?

And rereading your post,I would have to say,don't go down that road.

I still think your ex is a first class manipulator.

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Quote:

Originally Posted by amicon

Less than 3 % of the people who break up get back together-and about 1% of those 3 manage to work through their problems.

Thats statistics,as far as I've been able to check it out.

Dismal prognosis,dont you think?

And rereading your post,I would have to say,dont go down that road.

I still think your ex is a first class manipulator.

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I agree with Amicon. Don't do it!:eek:

Quote:

Originally Posted by Showme_urmove

hey everyone so here is an update about my ex. She change her number and called me, i was surprised that it was her, its been awhile since she tried contacting me. again i have done no contact and all ive been trying to do is move on with my life. Will heres what happened, We were both talking and she said that she misses me alot and that she still do love me, and that she wants to work things out, while we were both talking she told me if i still have her things. When she moved out, some of her things was still in my house, so i gathered them all and put it in the box, anyway i drop off her things and i thought it was just a hi and bye, she got in the car and then started crying, she was saying that she misses that old times and that we both had been through alot. She said that she wants to talk more and work things out so we can get back together. After i had done the NC she is doing her best to get incontact with me, i know you guys are going to get mad but part of me do want to talk and work out the issues that broke us apart, and part of me just dont want to deal with her and just to move on.

do you think if two people talk and tried fixing the issues that it can work out for the best? , or is it just all a fantasy. I have not done anything to contact her, she had sent me a txt here and there before, and i didnt replied. Do you think shes playing this mind games or did she really realized what she lost. If you guys can be honest and dont hold back with your advice i would highly appreciate it.
thank you for taking your time to read my post.

I wouldn't do it man. We have talked about this before you and I haha and from what I recall of your story man I don't see it working. If it was meant to be, she would have stayed with you and wanted to work it out when the problems first arose. But she didn't, and she has lost what she had. You are better than that bro, I agree with amicon she sounds like a first class manipulator, crying to get the things that she wants, etc.

I've always felt that one way to tell if an ex is truly SERIOUS about getting back together is they will approach you being very calm and level-headed, admit their faults as well as yours, and they will want to take steps to rebuilding the relationship... as opposed to crying and texting everyday which sounds to me like she is still acting on emotions. No person makes rational decisions when acting on emotions, and your ex needs to do what YOU have done, take control of her life and her problems and be happy without you. Once that's accomplished for both sides only than should a reconciliation take place. Good for you for sticking to NC though dude, I think if you stick to it, a few weeks/months down the line you will be glad you didn't try to work it out.

Ask yourself... is this girl really worth all the heart break again?

Quote:

Originally Posted by the_original

i wouldn't do it man. We have talked about this before you and I haha and from what i recall of your story man I don't see it working. If it was meant to be, she would have stayed with you and wanted to work it out when the problems first arose. But she didn't, and she has lost what she had. You are better than that bro, i agree with amicon she sounds like a first class manipulator, crying to get the things that she wants, etc.

I've always felt that one way to tell if an ex is truly SERIOUS about getting back together is they will approach you being very calm and level-headed, admit their faults as well as yours, and they will want to take steps to rebuilding the relationship...........as opposed to crying and texting everyday which sounds to me like she is still acting on emotions. No person makes rational decisions when acting on emotions, and your ex needs to do what YOU have done, take control of her life and her problems and be happy without you. Once thats accomplished for both sides only than should a reconciliation take place. Good for you for sticking to NC though dude, I think if you stick to it, a few weeks/months down the line you will be glad you didn't try to work it out.

Ask yourself.....is this girl really worth all the heart break again?

Helloooo... My answer would be... let me think a minute... NO !!!:(

You all have a good point, its kind of funny how its easy to give advice to others but when its happening to you, you just let your emotion give you all the advice, I know what I should do, I'm actually doing better then before.

Amicon only 3% and 1% of that makes it last. Woow that's a very low number compare to how many people are dating in this world.

Original NO she's not worth the heart ache again. I just hate it when I finally started to live my life she appears and wants to reconcile with me. I just don't know why she's doing this, She called it quits so why is she trying to get incontact with me again. And another thing she wants to see me tonight, and just talk. I hate her so much for making me feel this way. Sucks to feel like you have no control

Quote:

Originally Posted by Showme_urmove

you all have a good point, its kinda funny how its easy to give advice to others but when its happening to you, you just let your emotion give you all the advice, i know what i should do, i'm actually doing better then before.

Amicon only 3% and 1% of that makes it last. woow thats a very low number compare to how many people are dating in this world.

original NO shes not worth the heart ache again. I just hate it when i finally started to live my life she appears and wants to reconcile with me. I just dont know why shes doing this, She called it quits so why is she trying to get incontact with me again. and another thing she wants to see me tonight, and just talk. I hate her so much for making me feel this way. Sucks to feel like you have no control

But you do have the control, and that's the beauty of it. She is trying to get in contact with you again because she has no frickin idea what she wants. Her emotions dictate her actions completely right now, and emotions are not to be trusted in a situation like this because rarely are they rational. You have all the power in the world man, if her talking to you and seeing you drives you nuts and makes you feel shi**y... than don't let her. Take extreme measures if need be.

... So true about how easy it is to dish out advice though compared to actually taking everyone's advice

Quote:

Originally Posted by the_original

But you do have the control, and thats the beauty of it. She is trying to get in contact with you again because she has no frickin idea what she wants. Her emotions dictate her actions completely right now, and emotions are not to be trusted in a situation like this because rarely are they rational. You have all the power in the world man, if her talking to you and seeing you drives you nuts and makes you feel shi**y....than dont let her. Take extreme measures if need be.

....So true about how easy it is to dish out advice though compared to actually taking everyones advice

You won't be happy even if you do get back together... :(

Hey original yea man it does makes me feel sh@#y when I talk to her, just ruin my day for some odd reason. I hate it cause I want her but I know there is no future with her. I'm not trying to talk down on her but she can't contribute for my future, the only thing she has is only her looks, but either then that she has nothing.

Kitkat I know it won't work if we get back together, she got mad at me cause she saw picture of me and some girls, and that I have been going out and she haven't done anything. I its stupid of her to be getting mad if were not even dating anymore.

So s t o p talking to her!!

I did stop talking to her, I'm actually planning to move to Alaska for work maybe this summer so that's really going to help my healing. I just hate the feeling of being alone, I know it will get better cause I'm not feeling as much pain anymore.

I have a question to ask and I hope you guys can answer it.
For the past few days I have been dreaming about her. What do you that is, and how can I stop dreaming about that girl. I hate it cause you can't control your dream and stop it when it comes.

You can't stop,or change your dreams. My guess would be that its your subconscious working away at your healing,so you have to grin and bear it by quickly distracting yourself by thinking about something else.

As for being alone,you have friends and family and most important of all,you have yourself.

Thanks a lot amicon. I really do hate getting thus dreams, But when I think of it I don't feel any pain so that's a good sign right?

Yes,all you really need is time-time to get over this.

That's is why NC proper is important,it gives your mind and heart the opportunity to focus on you,and what you want and really need in your life.