I tried to keep myself really busy these few days hoping that I would get her out of my mind. I saw her yesterday. Fortunately, she didn't see me. She was wearing the dress when we went out for our first movie date. I could still recall how beautiful she looked then and I was not able to take my eyes off her. She completely blew me away. And now, she was wearing the same dress looking beautiful as usual dating someone new. My heart ache a little but I realized that she's no longer mine. It's sad but true. I decided to check on her myspace a while ago and I saw her notes to him saying that he is her strength, hope, joy and everything. It crushed my heart a little... and I know I can never have her back.

Good that you know all of that.

Now stop talking about her.

I've decided to go for a short trip this weekend and next month. I hope by the time I return, I will feel much better. I cannot deny that I still love her somehow and this feeling is hiding somewhere around the corner of my heart. I'm afraid to let it out again. There was once I thought we could build a family together. I was ready to go down on my knees on her birthday when we go for skydiving and romantic dinner for two with a 0.53 carat diamond ring. I still have the ring with me and whenever I look at it, I wish I could have the chance to put it on her finger. I guess all I can do now is to let it pass and be part of the history. It's just sad and I hope there are no more hiccups during my recovery. :(

Oy, you're killing me with that proposal stuff after the fact.
And with a user & abuser as well. Still hung up and for no reason.

I hope your trips help you realize that there's more than this.

Enjoy your trips,return the ring to ring to the shop and stop looking at her pictures!

LOL... Thanks, Vanheart. I guess I was pretty much blinded by love. Sometimes you just love the person for who they are. I know she abused me but I can't help to fall for her. I really love her truthfully but I'm tired of chasing for something that it's no longer mine. It's even tiring when I'm trying to impress her when she no longer cares what I'm up to etc. Reality is... she's belongs to someone else already. :(

You haven't found love yet. You need to grow yourself.
Decide some things. First things first.

That's how it works. We have all been there.
I was soooo in love with this girl from Philly when I was 22.

And loved others way after.

I even thought I loved my recent ex.

The point is, we learn and when its right we, know. That is when we truly connect with ourselves first. Not to rebound or fall in love with someone who simply speaks sweet nothings in our ears.

Its way deeper. Find that in yourself & you will find that in others.

Its different for everyone.

I just woke up from a short nap and guess what? I dreamt of her. We were quarelling and I tried to work things out. I really miss her. I never thought it would end this way... with bitter drama. :(

That's because you aren't letting go.

I had those dreams and on occasion still do.

Use those dreams to realize its truly over & get on with your life.

Its not worth it to keep on like this. No point.

You can't change the past, only make way for good things in the future.

Don't continue the bitter drama, she's not.

Its all in your head & in your control now. Have some will to change.

You know, what we would all like here is to hear how you are going to move on and your plan. Some positive stuff.

Its over. Get it.

Take some value in all of the advice here. Believe me, if it wasn't for this site, I wouldn't be hear giving advice.

Start listening & doing, not wallowing over this reject that screwed with you head.

This is, as I mentioned not a tragedy. The earthquake in Haiti is.
Real suffering.

You can't still have her on some ridiculous pedestal after she demolished you.

Move on & wish her well. Stop the boo-hooing.

Thanks, Vanheart. You're right. I just got to get up and walk again. It has been months since she walked away. I really hope my short trip will somehow help me to get over her.

Yes it's really time for best foot forward.
Time to let the past go-live in the present and make plans for the future.

Guys, I'm back from a very very short trip. It was a good one but I still need to do a little work on myself. I still think of her.. well, off and on. And I had the weirdest dream ever. I dreamt I was in some party with my new girlfriend and somehow my ex wanted to reconnect back with me. What a dream! Haha!

I tried to look at her pictures... just to check which stage I'm in now. Somehow, I still get that kind of strange feelings. I guess I'm not there-there yet. I found out from one of our mutual friends that she's on vacation with her new man, yeah again! For the entire week. This is a good news for me because I wouldn't need to see or even hear her voice. At least it helps me to stay sane a little bit. I really wonder when will I reach the stage that I will no longer care anymore... It's so near yet so far!

It would be a lot 'nearer'if you stopped going back to check out her pictures!

You're only opening up the wound when you do that.
So don't.
Stop wallowing in the past.
Stop measuring your peace of mind against whether she is at home or on vacation.

I find it silly too to even think of someone who doesn't even want me anymore. I will try not to look at it anymore. I know there's no point of holding on to something that's no longer mine. Why do people always want what they can't have.. It's funny isn't it..

People not only what they can't have but also what's not good for them! Love can do some crazy things to us, including make us overlook things which would normally be unacceptable to us.

Remember, she physically and verbally abused you. In my book, that's a chapter I'd gladly move on from. I sure as hell don't need that kind of person in my life...

I agree, Ducky. If we didn't date, I doubt I will accept someone who physically abuses me. I guess I still hold on to those sweet memories we shared and maybe that's the reason why I can't fully let go. I'm working hard now not to think of her and replace it with something else when she pops into my mind. I know she has completely wiped me out of her life and her memory and that's what I need to learn from her. I keep asking myself "if she can do it, why can't i?"... She's happily attached and I keep telling myself "let go, let go, let go! She's already with another man!". It's so funny, I already know the truth and why am I still holding on to something that's no longer there... It's just so weird. I will try harder this time to get her out of my mind and hopefully I will get over her soon.

Seriously, I think that I really have to move to another new place. I was in peace a couple of days ago. Sadly, I ran into her yesterday but I did not greet her even though I wish I could. Apparently, she's just back from her trip with her new man. I could still feel the pain and my tears were parked behind my eyes. I tried to be strong but my thoughts are filled with her images. This is not doing any good and there's some part of me wanted to drop her a note saying 'hi' but I know this will look seriously pathetic. I feel so uncomfortable and it's kind of hard for me to explain the feelings. I think I'm doomed :(

You're only doomed in the sense that you still can't let go of this feeling of allowing yourself to be controlled by the comings and goings of a person who is no longer in your life.

You are doing this to you,nobody else.

You can also stop feeling this way,or not.
It's your choice.

Though you have posted a lot in the last 2 months, its only been 2 months, after a two year relationship. Not nearly enough time, so be patient.

It helps to strengthen your coping skills with a solid plan of action when these unexpected thoughts and meetings happen when your still so freshly hurting.

Anything that changes your focus for a few minutes will work, but has to actively involved physical movement and mental focus.

For example, washing dishes, cleaning closets, shopping for a new shirt and engaging the salesperson.

Over time, these small, temporary diversions become second habit, and keep you from sitting and dwelling on what if, and why me.

It has been a few weeks since I last posted here. I'm just back from a long vacation and still trying to cope with my broken heart. I was feeling good last few weeks, learning to let go and trying to be myself again. A lot of soul searching. But as soon as I'm back to my place, I'm curious and wanted to check on her Facebook to see if there are any updated pics on her Valentine's outing... I know it will hurt me bad if I see it and I'm still trying not too... The temptation is so strong :(

That's like self harm and won't accomplish anything other than going back a few steps. Haven't you hurt enough?

Don't do it !!!

Why do you want to do that? Are you a masochist? What? Want to see you she's getting with?

Do some more soul searching. Continue that at home.

Forget about her for now. Get with you & fun.

Leave FB alone.
Move forwards not backwards.

Thanks guys. I'm really trying very hard not to check on her Facebook. Some part of me saying that it will help me to move on faster and some part of me is telling me that it's going to destroy me again. :(... Worse, I find it so hard to sleep now...

Facebook in your kind of situation is a big NO-NO!

You have got to want to move on,it seems to me you are still letting yourself stay stuck.

You're right, amicon. I shouldn't let myself stuck in the past... Guess, it is because I'm a sentimental person by nature... I'm just going to have to push myself harder... :(

We've all gone through this at one point or another so I know that you too will heal.
Putting some effort into actively healing is always a good idea.

Make a plan for each day that includes doing at least one new thing or activity that makes you happy.

I've been trying to keep myself busy lately so that I won't even have time to think about her.. but whenever I tried to do something new, I would be like "I think she will like this..." But then again, she's no longer mine.. and I've been telling myself I can't stay on like this forever... At times I feel like I'm suffocating...

Those are thoughts that you need to let go of-its what YOU like and want to do-its not about anyone else's likes or dislikes.
You deserve to be happy and contented and you will be-just put yourself first.

If you think of your break up as a time to learn how to cope, and deal with your feelings positively, it may help you come up with a strategy for yourself that you can follow when your having those down times, and your thoughts wonder to her, such as focusing on what's in front of you.

No doubt after a vacation, you will always have that transition back to reality, and all that dust that has collected while you were away. I bet if you look around your own place, there is a lot to do.

I'm in such a confused state now. I'm feeling very uneasy, and my eyes are filled with tears. One of our mutual friends told me that my ex is moving to another part of the world. The feeling is like I've just been dumped again for the second, third or even fourth times :(. I just don't know how to cope with it. I seriously love this girl very much :(.

Go back through your thread a few times.

Then you won't be so tragic & confused.

Start living without her.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by tragedy

I'm in such a confused state now. I'm feeling very uneasy, and my eyes are filled with tears. One of our mutual friends told me that my ex is moving to another part of the world. The feeling is like I've just been dumped again for the second, third or even fourth times :(. I just don't know how to cope with it. I seriously love this girl very much :(.

---

Consider this a blessing in disguise , it'll make NC that much easier.

Yup, teary, uneasy and being dumped again 4X, yet still in love.

That's not a good place. What are you going to do now?

Something good I hope.

I'm feeling bit drown. I tried to read the thread over and over again. Yet, I can't seem to control my feelings and my tears. Yes, having her around... so close really makes it hard for me to move on. But knowing that she will be in another part of the world somehow kills me :(

That will make it easier. Say Goodbye.

C'mon, man. Get out of bed. Stop.

She's GONE!!

What are you some attention magnet that doesn't want to listen to anything?

Man up.

She used you.

Slapped you. (not hard enough)

Choked you. (glad you're still here)

Dumped you.

Flaunted her boyfriend.

Then moved to another country.

What next? Her move to another planet?

Maybe the one where she will burn up on impact.

What planet are you on?

Maybe her moving is what you need to finally stop the one step forward,two steps backwards routine and finally get on with some constructive healing.

I hope so.

Thanks guys... I know it's a little crazy. You're right, Amicon. It's like I'm actually taking a one step forward, and next couple of weeks two steps backward. I'm learning, learning to let go. I have accepted the fact that we can never go back together and I'm no longer in denial. But the feelings somehow still exist... I would have never guessed or thought that she would move to another part of the world. Somehow those sweet memories started to rush in again and it's doing me no good. And it also reminds me how painful it was when I've got to know she's dating someone new. Now, I'm actually feeling the same thing when my friend told me she is moving away. I'm reading the thread over and over again. I hope I will feel better...