I could do it- its going to be tough. I know she's going to send messages on Christmas and New Years among other days. Also her b'days in a week but I'm disappearing. :rolleyes:Quote:
Originally Posted by amicon
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I could do it- its going to be tough. I know she's going to send messages on Christmas and New Years among other days. Also her b'days in a week but I'm disappearing. :rolleyes:Quote:
Originally Posted by amicon
Act as if you have disappeared from the planet! As for further texts-you could change your cellphone number.
The thing is once you stop allowing her to play her infantile little games, you get the upper hand and you can start healing for real.
That's the way to go.Quote:
Originally Posted by bjohnrupp
Talaniman Rule- When you get dumped, dissapear from their life completely.
If down the road I'm in a relationship and/or completely healed is it OK to become friends with the ex? Or is it not recommended?
Hold, on, let me get my crystal ball out..
Heal first. Then ask yourself.
Live in the present.
I hope you have friends now that rock. You know the ones. Ones that you don't have to question. Now or later.
Ya know?
I think you heal, and be able to move on, and then see what else life throws at you. Much to soon to consider friends in the future, or even worry about it.
Thanks Van and Tal- I guess because I still love her so much as a person (shes been through so many extreme hardships) that I would always want to know she's OK but I understand what you guys are saying
Too bad for her past. Sorry about that.
No longer your worry or concern.
The past, right?
Hence the term ex. (ie no longer)
People come & go in our lives.
I see your point... no longer my concern
We all go through this, don't worry.
Just stay NC, be true to yourself & do some soul searching.
The light at the end of the tunnel is there.
Soon, you will bask in that sh$$t...
Yea now I'm staying NC. She played with me by being real nice last time to see if I'd respond and I took the bait. It was the 1st time she did that. I have to be strong next time.
Next time is now.
See?
By removing yourself from that physical drama, you won't have to spend your time reflecting, looking for answers, all that stuff.
"Does she still care?" (Even tough she dumped me... )
Most exs want nothing more to be pals. Control, justification, have someone else waiting in the wings to see if their new flame has the same qualities... Warm & fuzzy.
Move on from this girl.
Just wondering your opinion- do you think she'd ever want to renew things- is that why she stays in contact? To have an option if things don't work out with other guys?
Just some general things I never understood...
Why does she try to make plans and say she wants to hang out but then never will when the day comes? And why is she even afraid to talk on the phone- like she made excuses so she won't have to talk on the phone
Because she's your ex.
Not your girlfriend.
Dude go NC & stop worrying about what she's thinking and why she did this & that.
Doesn't those actions say anything to you?
Done pine over this girl. She's done with you.
I know she's done with me- I was just wondering
I'm not pining over her anymore- I use to a month or two ago but not anymore
Don't wonder about that stuff.
Geez, will she ever come back?
Do you mean 2 seconds ago, hehhehe?
Good.
Now its time to work on you.
Get healed & rock it.
HAHA ! Hey 1 last thing- should I go 100% no contact or send an email to her (after she contacts me) saying not to contact me anymore so that I can heal
Go NC, like months ago.
You know what NC means right?
So nice of you to still care for the person that dumped your a$$.
Whattya you think?
Your new thread title:
"leave recently ex-fiance alone?"
The answer is: Yup
Yea the last time she was being real nice so I was being real nice back to her saying how I still think about her a lot and now I feel stupid. I was just going to send the text so she knows why she'll never heasr from me again but I'll take your advice Van man
I'm looking forward to your thread- ex-fiancee-who?
Do the NC thing bjohn, it works.
Take it & run with it buddy. Withstand those urges. Delete her.
Cause it doesn't matter. Its over, done. She's your EX!
She no longer needs to know what your doing. Especially some as precious as healing. The very thing she caused.
She no longer deserves your courtesy, friendship or contact. FACT
Stop the madness.
Hey Amicon, Van heart, Tal man thanks a lot guys! I'd have to be dumb to go against what everyone's saying so I'm determined to do the NO CONTACT thing all the way now. She knows I'm a very nice guy and did literally EVERYTHING for her so she's taking advantage of the situation. I just REALLY hope she tries contacting me again because I want her to feel stupid when she NEVER gets a reply from me ever again.
NC is for you not for her.
That's not the right reason.
I actually hope she never contacts you again.
Van I know its for me but I still want her to feel stupid !
Just look forward to the day when her stupidity will be of no consequence to you.
How about now?
Her stupidity is in the past. Don't waste time that.
Your stupidity is worrying about her.
What revenge or karma?
You will be long gone by then.
C'mon.
Sounds like your idea of "closure" is getting the last word. ~~ Think about it. You want her to send another message so that you get to show that maybe you won't be fooled again? This time you'll really not answer her. Uh-huh.Quote:
Originally Posted by bjohnrupp
Ya' know, if I were you, I would really just be happy to not hear from her again. I don't think that you need the aggravation of having to deal with her at all. Worrying about who has the last word (at this point) is really pretty useless. All it's doing is contributing to your looking backwards. You want to look forwards.
Ok, you think that she won't get the point that you're done? Think about it. Not hearing from you because you've stuck a fork in it and called it done should be more than enough. Her type will eventually try contacting you again. Just don't look for anything from her. She's a bad penny and a bad penny always turns up. Proof, and you're really the only one needs it, will be if you really do not answer her. You have to stick to your guns and think of her as what she is: The past.
Rhiannnonn
So it was 3 weeks ago that my ex fiancé wanted to hang out with me and then blew me off. I sent the long text saying how she can't contact me anymore unless she wanted to hang out or get back together because it hurt too much talking to her and I told her I still had tons of feelings towards her.
A week later she sent the text saying how the week we spent on the cruise was one of the best weeks of her life. I texted her back saying how I missed her and every week with her was the best week of my life. We texted a while and then I told her to send a pic of her in her bikini (cuz she was on the beach) she never responded to that and now 2 weeks later I haven't heard from her at all.
I know the experts on here would say its good that she didn't contact me- it just sux because I always did like hearing from her because it made me think she was thinking of me... I guess she's happy in her relationship she's in now ans doesn't need to relieve her guilt anymore.
I know I told her not to contact me but I kind of wish she didn't listen. I know everyone always says no contact but I just wish I had her in my life somehow.
I've been going on dates and have had a positive attitude but I just don't think any of the girls compare at all to my ex in the looks department and I blow them off. I wish I wasn't so picky but I'm not going to settle and be with someone I wouldn't even want to have sex with.
Just hang in there, it will get easier.
Plus, if she's in a new relationship, why settle for scraps.
Don't be in such a rush to find someone & compare.
Work on healing from this one first.
Time to stick to 100% NC-you keep going back to square one with the texting and planned then cancelled hangouts.
Heal first then date.(Grr!:-))
That's what I've done- I haven't returned any texts from her since 2 weeks ago when she sent the text from her vacation. I'm guessing she may have brought her new man along for the family vacation and decided she doesn't need me for anything anymore.
One of those famous down moments, huh?
It will pass, just like gas, but with less effort.
I went on a date last night and I knew right away I wasn't attracted to the girl. When I got home I got very depressed because I'm very lonely. I don't think I'll ever find a girl with a BEAUTIFUL face and body that is very down to earth again. :(
Loneliness is not fought by dating. Dating is for after, in a long time. Now what you actually need is friend and family and to socialize with people.
You really need to take it slow, healing takes time, you can't just use a rebound.
This is probably going to sound harsh, but realising that you were not attracted to this girl is actually a good thing. It shows that you know deep inside that you need time and space. Far too many people get into rebound relationships without applying proper thought and logic as a way of masking and even denying their emotional pain.
By taking some "me time" you will come out of this stronger and energized.
If your ex-fiance is already in a relationship with someone else, then her troubles are only just beginning...
I think that, with her finding her entire family really, she probably can't help but wonder what commitment means. Or what abandonment means, or love, or lies, or relationships. This would turn my whole life upside down, and the last thing on my mind would be taking another step toward any relationship commitment.
She has to face a lot of questions, about who she is, her life, where this family is going to fit in, or not, all the what if's, figuring out what she wants or needs from them, where she fits in.
They are, who she will become. She will change, no matter what happens because this new family will take up most of her time and effort.
She probably took the ring off because she can only deal with so much at one time. Moving forward with you, at the same time she is going back in time with them, is stretching things a bit too much.
The best thing you can do is be there for her when she goes through this, and realize this isn't about you. How you handle her needs right now (for space when she needs it), will eventually come around again to you being the man she can trust and count on.
You should do nothing, except be there for her, and not get worked up about the relationship taking a change to less intense. Realize that what she faces, to her, is priority right now, and she has to deal with it.
But in a week it will be 4 months since I have been dumped- so would that still be considered a rebound relationship? I thought a rebound relationship is when you get involved with someone right after you get dumped. I know I've made some progress because it no longer feels weird when I go on dates like it did months ago. I think you're right- I need more me time.Quote:
Originally Posted by glenboy123
What do you mean when you said if my ex-fiance is in a relationship with someone else, then her troubles are only just beginning? She's already had 3 or 4 relationships since she dumped me from the last I heard. She said she wanted to see more than 1 guy at a time. Last I heard (3 weeks ago) she said she's seeing some guy and he's soon to be her boyfriend.
I'd call any relationship one starts before having healed from a breakup a rebound. We have to be completely over the ex and happy being ourselves before thinking about another serious relationship. Dating to get to know new people and enjoy life is part of the process. Your ex seems to be jumping around all over the page but that's not your problem anymore.
Yeah, don't worry about what she's doing and her relationship troubles.
Good lesson.
Maybe you were another one of her rebounds. Goes to show you not to get with someone that doesn't know what they want.
She's young. You need a woman, not a girl.
They're out there. But get your act together first.
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