Trust me once you make your mind up it fades quicker then you might think.
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Trust me once you make your mind up it fades quicker then you might think.
Back in worktown, so at just 300 metres of her! But much much better than last month. I just went shopping for clothes with a girlfriend (not romantic) and that was good. Hanging in here!
Good to hear-not shopping weather here-pouring down rain.
You re on the right path now!
I am on the right path, but still shaky, I can't understand how she can be so mad that she does not want to talk to me! What did I do?? Anyway, I am getting better and better.
There are so many things we ll never understand and so many questions that will never be answered.
After some time all that becomes unimportant and a thing of the past.
Trust me on that one.
I know Monica, have had experience in the past, although it seems I have a strong tendency to dwell on things...
It just takes time Harrie and you had that setback a while ago.
We re all the total of our previous experiences and we grow with each new one however hurtful they seem at the time.
Small update... I am getting incredibly fit do to working out a lot and cycling.. I am in worktown and must admit I did some stalking.. why does she have to live almost right in sight of me! Anyway, I have started to date a little bit, and have a lot of success... We'll see how it goes. Still not over her but wayyyyyy better!
Accidental stalking I hope!
Good luck with the dating and keep getting better.
Hi friends. Still lurking here. I have to say I feel a lot better than I did when I came here! However, I still think of her almost all the time. Without the desperate emotions, but still. I sometimes look at her Facebook foto (that is all I can see) and have the idea she is still alone.
Am I normal to still think about her so much? Should I act on it?
Stop staring at her photo, and continue leaving her alone. Stay away from that web page and I'll bet you won't think about her as much.
Tal said it very well but I ll add my two cents-every time you look at her picture you take a step back-dont do it!:-)
Hey guys, back again. My oldest son had a bad accident with his scooter, he is fine but it was a scare and 3 weeks hospital! The good thing that came out of it that finally after 5 years I am talking with my ex-wife again (about the kids that is!)
Anyway, I had a low moment, thought about HER way too much and then wrote her an email, telling her about my son, and telling her I think about her, that I still miss her etc. bla bla bla. Although well written, you will hate me for this!
Anyway, I am still not over her. I must have a problem!
I'm sorry to hear about your son-hopefully well on the mend now!
Well that w a s naughty of you- but Ill not give you a big telling off-you know the drill by now.
You lived in hope for so long that's why you ve still got a way to
Go.
All the best from rainy old England.
We even had SNOW the other day.
Hello friends! Just to keep you in the loop. I am still not cured, but guess I learned to live with it. Yesterday I "saw" her on meetic... she has put a profile there... I clicked on it, she also on mine, and then she proceeded to remove her picture... Wonder what she is thinking... ah well...
All I can say is feliz navidad.
And all the best for 2010.
Hi guys! Checking back in. You have been here for me in the worst times. I am doing fine now, although I still think about her a lot, but it doesn't hurt anymore. Something curious happened, she "unblocked" me in Facebook, that means, I can search for her and find her again. I won't contact her, but was thinking, does that mean anything?
Whether they like you, or not, they get curious, especially if you have disappeared from their lives.
My Facebook is admitting non friends to see part of the content, so she is able to see some posts and pictures. Do I change that now? Do I block her? Or just leave it be?
Anybody any ideas on this?
Hello-sorry I missed your previous post.
I hope your're well-as for your question,as you still feel the need to ask, I would say block her.
:-)
Hi Monica! I was missing you already... haha, well, I just let it be. Blocking her would be reacting to her unblocking me. But you are right, I am still fascinated by the situation. I wonder if she is going to make some move. I won't!
Yes,good point actually-leave it as is.
Its all water under the bridge,though,don't you think?
I am not really sure, to unblock somebody in Facebook you have to take some steps, it makes me wonder what she is thinking. I still would like to see her in person. I am OK with the situation now, funcioning normally, but obviously again around here, so... it has stirred something up.
Sleeping dogs is what I say-though your reaction is understandable.
If she was truly interested in getting in touch,she knows where to find you.
Not familiar with Facebook, so explain why you have to do anything besides what you have been.
OK Tal, I'll explain. In Facebook you have "friends". People post their photos, stories etc. online, and exchange conversations. If you like somebody, you add them as your friend. If you are neutral, you are no friend, but people can find you on Facebook and see what you post online. If you really do not like somebody, you "block" them, which means that the person who you blocked, cannot search for you, cannot see that you are on Facebook, cannot see anything from you, and vice versa.
What she did, already when we were in our "relationship" is block me. You can block somebody in Facebook, but when you create a false profile, or look the person up in Google, you can still see that they actually do have a profile. It is a kind of cyber stalking, which I admit I did (and I think everybody on this site)
So... she unblocked me. That means, she can look at my pictures, things that I do on Facebook, like saying hello to friends, participating in activities etc.
To unblock somebody, you have to take some steps. It is not something you'd do accidentally. You have to go to your "block list" then choose the person you blocked, accept several warnings "if you unblock this person this means they can find you, interact with you, etc." and then proceed with the unblocking act.
This is what she did. My profile is pretty public. So she can see that I am organizing a sailing trip to Ibiza, who I have added as friends, which events I plan to attend. She also knows, that when I search for her name, she will show up again in my result list.
It is a long story, but I think Facebook is a very relevant factor in your work here, as it is a virtual connection with a person that very much influences interactions.
I hope this gives you a bit of insight. If not, just create a Facebook profile, and I'll add you as a friend, and you'll see what it is all about!
Thanks, but no thanks with th FB thing. So why is she not blocked by you, so she is effectively cut from your life... again, and wouldn't that end the speculation of what her brain is up to??
I think the blocking thing is rather childish, I mean, would you block me? Or any other person? So I decided not to react to her unblocking me with blocking her.
And... obviously I am still not ready with this. That's why I came back here, to share this with you wonderful people. This silly unblocking thing has made me think that she might me looking for contact with me. I will not contact her, but again, it has triggered something in me that has made me come back here.
Ah, and I could not block her before, you can only block people you can find, and obviously I could not find her to block her... I think FB now changed that by adding the possibility to block email addresses... still I do not want to block her.
I'm not a fan of Facebook,its messed up numerous relationships on this site and it does encourage the cyberstalking you mentioned.
Now this has got you back to overanalyzing some actions of hers and the can of worms is open again.
You were only with her for 6 months and after almost a year and you can't forget her? Do you like her for her looks mostly or does she have other good qualities as well? You're not doing proper NC. You are doing it with the hope she'll contact you and spying doesn't help. I guess you got to learn it the hard way once before you realize it. Just read your post. You are dealing with a very smart girl. She knows the game very well and will inflict pain on you if you keep trying. It has been almost a year. If she wants to come back she would have tried to contact you by now.
Look, its been almost a year since you two broke up. My guess is that she is being polite and trying to let bygones be bygones. It's a mature thing to do and she may even want to be friends.Quote:
Originally Posted by harriejansen
If you are not ready for that (friends, cause that's all it can be) then you need to stay off Facebook completely. You can read my story on how I used to check my ex's blog and every time it was a setback and made me feel like crap trying to analyze everything. Its been over two months since I've even heard from her and I don't really have the desire. Now a year down the line I might consider being friends, but even that I doubt after what she did and the way she abandoned the relationship.
Hey guys! Thanks for your input. She isn't doing anything, not being polite, no friends, nothing, she just unblocked me for whatever reason. That is all. I am not in her friends list or whatever. I was just wondering why she'd do that, as unblocking somebody is a conscious action. Also, we are Spanish and French, things are not exactly the same here as in the US. Anyway, I very much apreciate your input. The last time I saw her was in June 2009, we had hours and hours of wild... well anyway, and never saw her again. That is frustrating.
Is this an ego thing? I know you're a successful business guy. I guess it's the ABC (always be closing) rule. Failure is not an option.Quote:
Originally Posted by harriejansen
I guess it's different in Europe, you guys are more open to one night stand lol. Voulez vous couchez avec moi ce coir, Oui Oui.
It doesn't matter where you are in the world, the NC theory is the same. Everyone from this board are all over the world.
If you're trying to get back with her for the sake of little head then be prepare because it going to cost you. But I guess you can afford it.
Harriejansen,
I think you have too much free time in the foreign country.
Why don’t you date other attractive girls? It is beautiful spring, and you left her year ago. It is really perfect time to move on.
I am organizing a sailing trip to Ibiza, we will be around 10 large 50 feet yachts and around 80 people. My problem is not dating other people. My problem is that I am stuck on her for whatever stupid reason! I was fine forgetting about her, but... anyway, I am 46, and I think I've seen a lot, lived in 8 countries, blablabla, 3 kids, blablabla, but this girl has done something to me!
Yes, brain damage.Quote:
Originally Posted by harriejansen
Lol
Hi Myagony, I have been reading your "case"... wow... talking about brain damage!
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