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I would be VERY cautious about getting involved with another girl right now. The point of a break up isn't to rush into another relationship, and I fear you may be putting too much emphasis on being someone's boyfriend. REBOUND! Take it VERY slow, as you could hurt either the girl, yourself, or possibly both.
Yeah, I agree with Kctiger. I think you should take a break from relationship for now. Maybe even dating...
Take what's yours and leave the rest that's what I always say =P.
Anyway happy to hear you're doing good dood.
Here I want you to listen to this song. Its doing wonders for me =P
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8j9hj-_GtrI
I don't think it's a rebound. If you are over your ex, why would it be a rebound? I have done all the grieving and I'm over her. I sincerely believe I am ready for a new relationship. No rebound.
If you were over her you wouldn't have a 17 page thread revolving around HER! Just my opinion.
Life is too short, I'm ready for my new woman ;-)Quote:
Originally Posted by kaitou
Serious question: Why are you in such a hurry to have a woman in your life?
Maybe cause us guys have needs but rather be intimate with someone we love and not a one night stand? I don't know that might be the case lolQuote:
Originally Posted by kctiger
I am not a one night stand dude... first and foremost... secondly, I just don't find the point in rushing into another relationship so quickly after you have been in a long term relationship.
What if you miss out on something amazing and you won't come across it again if you don't act now?Quote:
Originally Posted by kctiger
The day I meet a woman that I feel is that amazing, then perhaps I will agree with you... I think the issue here is that I value myself and my priorities too much to let that effect me... everyone is different though.
Carry on... :cool:
I understand your opinion KC, I have to mention the girl knows I was in a relationship and we will take it slowly. Just cause I'm going on a date with her doesn't mean I am going to jump on her and bring her home. I will take my time, and get to know her very slowly. Things will move in a natural way. Like none12345 says, you can't pass on opportunities just cause you had a bad relationship. And almost 2 months have passed and I feel I am ready.
You may feel your ready Luigi but a lot of the time this close to the event your just trying to fill the emotional void that the breakup has caused.
Just a word of warning though , be careful not to make someone believe you are into them fully when you could just be looking for a quick fix yourself , that's not fair to her.
OK I understand your point of view. Here is what I think. Each person is different and the amount of time it takes to be a rebound or not depends of each individual.
In my case, my relationship was over a long time ago. When she said her feelings for me changed. That was in September 2008. So I feel I have moved on a lot quicker than some people and this is the reason. I stayed with her to don't dump her and hurt her feelings, and waited and did things to push her to leave me.
And it was a bad relationship, so believe me, I would not go in a new relationship if I was'nt ready.
LOL you have a point. But all these posts helped me get the BIG picture. My emotions went away and my Logic kicked in. I want to thank everyone here that helped get through those hard times.Quote:
Originally Posted by kctiger
LOL HEHE HOW YAH DOING BUDDY? Just wanted to leave something on your thread lol XD
In 5 days it will be exactl 2 months it has ended. I still get flashbacks, it's not easy. I have accepted what happened. It has sinked in. You guys have any tips to make sure I don't do a rebound with the next girl?
We won't exactly know if it's a rebound or not. Only you will know because its your feelings and we don't know how you feel. You just have to be honest with yourself and ask yourself if you really into this girl or not? Are you still hung over your ex? Because sometimes if your ex is still in your mind, than you might be blinded by how you really feel about this girl even though you might think you're really into her. If you have that all sort out than I'm pretty sure you won't make her a rebound.Quote:
Originally Posted by PirandelloLuigi
Don't be around her because you feel like you need to be around her. Be around her because you want to. That's pretty much it.
Good luck bro =P - none12345
Heal, and have fun doing it!!Quote:
You guys have any tips to make sure I don't do a rebound with the next girl?
Thanks Tal, I been healing good so far. Better than I expected. I feel is going to be a great summer. I have a date tonight with a special girl I just met. We been talking all week and I hope with all my heart everything goes well. She sounds so simple and she is so calm just like me. I already feel a connection over the phone. I can't wait to spend time with her.Quote:
Originally Posted by talaniman
Here is a great song that fits well with the situation I am in.
YouTube - Kanye West - Heartless (Official Video HQ) (UMG Owns)
Pirand: I almost lost all respect for you when you posted a Kanye song... that dude gives talent-LESS a whole new meaning. But, to each his own.
Now, to my point: I can pretty much gauge that you are looking for a rebound right now because you are soooo eager to replace the whole your ex left you with. That is just setting yourself up for failure my friend. Don't throw caution to the wind, not yet anyway.
KC I don't know this artist, I just liked the lyrics of the song. Kind of reminds me of my ex how heartless she was. Ok what can I do to make sure it won't be a rebound? Because I like this girl. And I want us to be together. Any tips?Quote:
Originally Posted by kctiger
You don't sound like your ready to date, and have fun yet. You already like her too much to be objective with this stranger. She may look good, or sound good, but she is a stranger.
Did I mention she smells good too, lol. :pQuote:
Originally Posted by talaniman
I totally agree with Tal, your not ready.
Well, I feel ready, I know it seems too soon for you guys, but like I said earlier, for me it was over 6 months ago and was just curious to see where it was going. This is why it was easier for me to move on. I am not doing a rebound. I really like this girl and we going to take things slowly. :D Happy Easter to all of you.Quote:
Originally Posted by liz28
Update. Hi guys, today is April 14, exactly 2 months ago my ex broke up. I am happy to say I moved on and met a really nice woman which I enjoy spending time with. We are going to the movies tonight. I still get flashbacks of my ex, but I can honestly say the feelings are gone. She was a shallow materialistic gold digger. I deserve better and now I feel I have found the type of girl that is compatible with me. She is very affectionate and loves to cuddle. To you who just got dumped, move on as quickly as you can, your true love is around the corner waiting.
I don't care about the rebound theory, if you wait too long you might lose the opportunity with the right person you have right in front of you.
Or you rush from the frying pan into the fire.
Your true love appears, when life says your ready.
LuigiQuote:
Originally Posted by PirandelloLuigi
We all hope the best for you but are just pointing out what we've seen time and time again.
Would hate to have you back here in 3 months time asking "Did I get into a Rebound too soon"
At first when I began breaking the no contact thing with my ex. I thought to myself... these people have good points but they don't know my situation. Well it turns out they were very on point on what they were saying and were very observant on what was going on. Everyone has gone through these experiences and are here to guide you with your way to healing.
Yes, we all wish you the best... Just take it slow with the girl. Get to know her for a while, build trust from friends first then let everything fall into place.
Put it this way... When I really sit down and think about things, it took me at least 6 months to really get to know my ex's true colors. The first few months were in the honeymoon stage.
Right now your judging a book by a few pages. Just take it slow. See the world!! :D Read a little further.
LOL... hahaQuote:
Originally Posted by talaniman
I just found that to be funny. Not his situation but the way you said it.:D
I really believe he still has feelings for his ex. Why would he want to get under her skin with revenge. Why the flashbacks? Why a relationship so soon.
I can't even hear the word relationship or commitment without freakin out. Trust has to be built first after suffering from a broken heart.
I just got back from the movies with my new girl and we had a nice talk in the car after the movie. She said she is a bit worried because she can't find anything bad about me. So I told her in time you will find something. It's OK we just met and we taking our time.
Kudos for you! Yay!
Hi, I think I can finally answer the question to my own thread. Can I get back with my ex-girlfriend after 2 months of no contact? No.
I am not saying it's impossible, but after a lot of thought I have come to realize that if she really loved me, she would have made the first steps, but since her pride and ego are higher than her mixed emotions, she will never make the steps to reconciliate with me. Confusion=low interest. I would rather be with a woman that has high interest in me and cares.
So the No contact did not help me get her back, it pushed each other away, but it helped me heal faster and in return I met a great girl and it helped me move on. Now how do I get her out of my system for good. I been having bad dreams of her for the past 2 weeks.
You have just contradicted your whole "rebound" statement, which is what I have said all along. You should have been able to move on FULLY without the help of someone else being besides you, and being attracted to you, and wanting to date you. Is it a nice feeling? Yes. Do you need it? No. The fact that you are having such vivid dreams of your ex also points out to me that you are NOT over her yet, and you seem to be leaning on a crutch in the form of an attractive young lady to help you get over her. What next?Quote:
Originally Posted by PirandelloLuigi
I don't know, what next...Quote:
Originally Posted by kctiger
I agree with KC, you have found someone to stop the loneliness, and feel better about being rejected, but have not healed or worked on yourself. What's next, that's up to you buddy. Its all about how you handle your situation. We await your update, as time will tell if what you have done will have blessings or consequences.
This is what NC is all about and we say it day in day out.Quote:
Originally Posted by PirandelloLuigi
Hope you've finally got it!
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