Yeah don't go back and fall into the trap again. You're just sabotaging the progress you have been making to getting over this.
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Yeah don't go back and fall into the trap again. You're just sabotaging the progress you have been making to getting over this.
Yah I just read your story man >_< my story is so similar. How are things now? What's going on? Are things looking up? O_O
I want my ex back... I miss her and I love her and I feel I've been away from her for too long. She treats me so crappy but why do I still feel this way? Is she thinking of me? >_< I don't know what to do I feel like breaking NC. It seems like its getting really hard for everyone these days...
I don't know why guys but today I've been extremely down. Been thinking about my ex a lot lately... I want her back... I don't really know what to do. I need some self respect but I still love her and its starting to hurt again. Still in NC.
Hang in there, and look out for yourself. If she's trying to choose between you and someone else, you don't want to be with her. My fiancée chose someone else but came back to me - and things weren't the same after that, and did not work out.
Stay in NC my friend...
Believe me I know the pain you are going through as I was there not too long ago.
You are right.. you need to show YOURSELF some respect; and the only way of doing that is to UNDERSTAND that this girl is just not the one for you... In my opinion you deserve better... and I think in a situation like this you need the support of other people to make you realise these things!.
Let me tell you something.. I was like you in the early stages of NC.. crying, couldn't handle the thought of her with this other guy, tempted to break it...
But as time went on.. as I gathered more and more help from this website.. as I went out more, learning more about life... I realised what she did.. she LEFT ME FOR ANOTHER GUY. I realised this with a COMPLETELY objective mindset and I told myself, what in heck am I doing pining over a girl that left me for another guy.. I am SO much better than that.. I know it, and so do all my friends and even some of hers... WHY would I put myself through more and more pain.
The point I am making is.. whilst in NC.. at some point, some time.. something will click, like it did for me... and you are going to wake up one day and say what the heck am I doing still thinking about her... I deserve better, I will get better and I will BE better..
Believe me, that moment will happen too.. IF you stick to NC... when it does, remember my words :)...
As for now.. good days and bad days will come.. and when those bad days come you got to step to the plate and show your strength of character, you have to ride the storm... remember though, we are all here to ride the storm with you... don't you forget that!
Yah... it I'm sticking to NC and I have to be strong. It hurts me so much when I think of her being with the other guy and what they are doing though. I thought I was getting better but I did for a bit and now I'm not anymore.
NC is the best way to heal and move on but I still have feelings for her and I think of her and I want to be with her but I can't anymore. She's gone and she's never coming back and I'm still here waiting... I need to move on but its so hard and I don't know if I can.
You can... and you WILL. Even if you don't believe in yourself yet, you have a lot of people on this website who do.Quote:
Originally Posted by none12345
Guys I feel like going to the darkside... >_<
What's up man? What's the deal? Talk to me
Well dude man. I've been missing her a lot lately and I wish things could work out. I want to get her back. I don't know if I can NC anymore man the 2 weeks I'm in NC has been hell. I wonder what she's doing all the time, and if she and the other guy is kissing or doing stuff or w.e.
I feel like I need to stop NC and do some desperate attempt to get her back man and do one of those fairy tales stuff to prove how much I love her so we can have our happy ending... ugh... I hate this feeling just when I thought I was getting better I feel like I can't live without her in my life.
Been there done that, and I can tell you the BEST thing to do is just stick to NC. You give in, and you take monstrous steps back... it ain't worth it. You are good enough as you are and she doesn't deserve you fighting to get her. That is a total loss of self respect.
Yup kc, I just think that if I fight for her in the end she ll realize everything and treat me better and think differently of me. I just feel like doing some ultimatum to get her back or something. Does self respect really matter if in the end I get the girl of my dreams. I got to admit I still have mix feelings about her. Sometimes I feel like I can't be with her anymore and sometimes I feel like I really want her in my life. I just don't know what to do now man.Quote:
Originally Posted by kctiger
You just continue being strong and don't give into meaningless tempation. This isn't a movie. If she wanted you, she would find you. Self respect does matter, because without it, even if you do get the "girl of your dreams" you won't keep her without first loving yourself.
If, may I ask, she was the girl of your dreams, why in the hell would she be with another guy right now? You are still blinded by emotions that aren't rational at all. Don't act on stupidity...
Its just I love her personality and the person she is. She is everything I want in a girl except I want my girl to love me and be loyal to me and she isn't that but if she could it would be perfect. I don't know if that's possible though. I won't know till I try? The trust has been broken though and I don't know if I could be with her ever again but yet I still want to be with her because I see the perfect world but I might not be seeing the reality.Quote:
Originally Posted by kctiger
I know I'm still blinded by emotions. KC do you believe in ultimatums? Like do something big to see if she is willing to come back? Perphaps it brings closure? And it feels easier to move on?
You're not listening to sappy love songs, are you?
Keep up the NC!! You will be so sorry and humiliated even more if you break it now after coming so far.
You're going home soon you said. Keep that goal in your mind. If you can make it home without breaking NC, think of that as milestone and reward yourself when you get there.
You CAN do this and you WILL and you will be SO GLAD you did.
I believe in reality, and the fact that you don't need to fight for someone like her. You don't believe in yourself, but I do, and that is what matters. We all do. You create your own closure and you will get there eventually. Just be strong, don't give up, and don't give in!
Omg survivor how do you know I'm listening to sappy love songs? >_< lolQuote:
Originally Posted by Survivor07
Okies ill keep NC till I get home. How do I reward myself? O_O
She's the girl of your dreams... but...Quote:
Originally Posted by none12345
If she was, there wouldn't be a but.
My ex was perfect for me except for the fact that she slept with someone else. Losing her still hurts terribly but I realize it wasn't right.
Okay I won't give up. Last night I drank too much I started having crazy ideas on what to do for her. I have been strong. Been NC for 2 weeks but I don't know how much longer I can keep NC. First time I've NC and I broke it, I just got more pain and now this is my second NC and I've been in NC ever since. I don't want to go back to the pain anymore. You're right I should keep NC to save myself from the pain.Quote:
Originally Posted by kctiger
I don't know I'm just a sap for those love stories that you should fight for love till the very end and in the end if you get the girl it ll be worth it but if you don't you can move on in peace.
What wasn't right?Quote:
Originally Posted by snow124
We got back together after a break during which she had cheated on me and lied to me about it. I couldn't get past my bitterness and sense of entitlement, and she just wasn't interested in me as she once was. She said she felt that she was forcing herself. And I know I didn't feel the same way about her after she let another guy enter the picture... hate to say it, but you probably won't either. I miss her, but not the her that she was since things went wrong.
Yah true that. I won't ever be able to forgive her for cheating on me. I'm not that type of person. I want someone that can stay true no matter what.Quote:
Originally Posted by snow124
Remind yourself of that when you want to contact her. Eventually, it'll sound less like you're just telling yourself that and more like the truth.
Do you guys know usually how long of NC would you need before you can completely move on and heal?
There's really no answer for that... in one of those FAQs it estimates 2 months per year of the relationship, no idea how accurate that is.
okies snow =P yah NC is getting hard. At times it feels hard and at times not so hard. Have you did NC before? Howd it go? O_OQuote:
Originally Posted by snow124
Doing it now after a three-year relationship... three days, contacted her the first day to discuss joint accounts. I'm doing all right but I had a trial run of it during our "break" in December/January.
Because love songs always drone on and on about fighting for your love, blah, blah, puke, puke.Quote:
Originally Posted by none12345
Real life isn't like that. Listening to the love songs is okay for a while, but there comes a time where you draw the line. If the song reminds you of her, makes you sad, turn it off!
And on rewarding yourself... well, what do you like? If it were me, I'd buy a new CD, a new outfit, get my hair done... go out for a night with friends... have a one night stand... (kidding, but that might work lol).
Oh how have you been keeping? How long have you been in NC?Quote:
Originally Posted by snow124
yah... listening to the songs make me sad and makes me want to fight for love. I keep thinking in the end if I fight for it, I would have that happy ending that I want but I don't think its going to happen anymore not with her. I can't trust her anymorez. She threw it all away to be with another guy...Quote:
Originally Posted by Survivor07
But yah I have plans for the summer, work, start up a band, work on some music, change my hair style, drinking with they guys so yup I guess I'm going to do that =P
The heart pains are starting again I don't know why... I seem okay but why is my heart hurting. I guess I still have feelings for this girl... why is it this hard? Why can't I just forget about her?
Because it's not as easy as simply forgetting about her. Moving on and forgetting are not the same thing.
Snowflake makes an excellent point. You will never forget her, but coping with that memory is the goal. Its more about you having a plan to deal with those feelings, when you have them than trying to suppress them.
So what do you do when you have those feelings? Do you get up and get busy with something? You should.
Guys I'm still keeping strong and still in NC haven't broken it yet. It gets harder the longer you keep NCing and I feel upset with the thought that my ex with another guy right now so fast after we broke up... I'm trying to keep busy but it still hurts I don't know why...
What I did for this girl?
-i took the bus 200 miles to her and 200 miles back 3 times?
-and once I got robbed in detroit while waiting for the bus.
-i came to this school because it was closer to her
-i spent most of my time with her
-the phone bills were so much because she kept texting me and talking to me
-spent money on hotels so we can have our special night
-i waited at the bus station for 12 hours that's when she could see me
-i bought her gifts from my home town
-wrote her love letters
-slept outside because I had to wait for the bus
-ran in the rain to get her a cd of her fav band
-took her to her favourite restraurant all the time when we see each other
-did all the stuff a boyfriend was supposed to
Only for her to leave me... for another guy without hesitation
Hi None,
You were a great boyfriend to her, and cleary it is her loss. I hope you see that. You WILL find someone who you can give your love to again, but this time, the woman will love you back and treat you with respect. Keep looking forward to that. She is out there.
That list tells me that you made her life, your life. You did everything for her, and nothing for yourself. You lost yourself in this relationship and became someone she was not attracted to. You lost your individuality that drew her to you in the beginning.
You must now work toward getting that individuality back by building a life of things that you find interesting and that you love. When you get yourself back to the point where you were before you met your ex, someone a lot more special will come along. Just remember to maintain your own life and individuality when the next person comes along.
Use what you have learned and experienced in this relationship as a way to make your next relationship that much better.
As far as how I am doing at this point of my own healing process... I'm doing pretty good. I still have some down days here and there (very few). The thoughts that I have about her are only fleeting at best. I'm not angry about anything that happened, anymore. I think I have got to the point where I can say I finally let go, but not to the point of being able to see or talk to her. That will require much more time, before I could forge any sort of "friendship". Honestly as much as I would like to be friends, I don't know if I could because I don't think the feelings of true love you have for someone ever go away.
I am going out with friends and making attempts to meet new people. The only thing is, all of this going out and partying are wearing me out. I need a vacation, so I'm heading down to Florida next week with my family. It will be a welcome retreat from everything.
Keep up the good work, soon enough you will be at the point where me and many of the other posters on here are.
have fun in Florida =P. I'm going home in a couple of weeks for the summer when school is done. Can't wait either. Anyway yah I've been in NC for almost 3 weeks now and I don't think I will ever be friends with her. I'm gone from her life now completely. Sometimes I still feel confused but I'm more reassured. I don't want to fight for her anymore or wait around for her, its not worth it.
So guys week 3 of NC. It got easier than it got harder but I've come to realize it will never work out with her and I can't be with her anymore... yet I still have feelings for her and I would want to be with her if things could be different but I know they can't be. I still find myself left thinking abut her... I really don't know what to do now. Any suggestions? Something that you guys haven't told me yet. What's next?
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