Or I love that in an argument at a later date they use this "we ALWAYS do what you want to do" That's because you are so fracking indecisive that I always have to think of things to doQuote:
Originally Posted by kctiger
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Or I love that in an argument at a later date they use this "we ALWAYS do what you want to do" That's because you are so fracking indecisive that I always have to think of things to doQuote:
Originally Posted by kctiger
Go No Contact until you get your own life in order without her.Quote:
Then she texted me to tell me goodnight and once again I did not respond. Im going NC again until she makes up her mind what she wants.
Its obvious she will not invite you back in her life, but wants the benefits of you being in her life.
Makes no sense wasting time, waiting for her to make up her mind, to give you what you want.
^^LOL. KC and Rome you know where I'm coming from with this.
They are never able to make up their minds, even about little trivial things.
That is why when you wait, you wait forever.
Yea no kidding! This is why I dedicated the song "Waiting on a woman" by brad Paisley to my fiancé
OMG nail on the head. Yeah I got that line. You always do what you want. We don't do what I want. I asked every freaking week what she wanted to do. And all I ever got was I don't know or I don't care. I'm not a mind reader. That crap really burns my butt.Quote:
Originally Posted by Romefalls19
JTs, sorry we high jacked your thread
She yells at me because I don't know what I want for dinner, whatever I pick she usually says "I don't know" which really means "I don't want that" so it's easier to let her decide and I will just eat whatever. I can't read your mind, so just write down what you want to do and we will do that to avoid an argument in which you bring up that we never do what you want in the future.
Actually Rome... we are just giving him real life examples on why he should not wait on a decisive answer from this girl.
Ok, I HAVE to respond... my boyfriend and I have this running joke.
He hated it when I would say I didn't care whatever he wanted to do was fine. He said it makes it sound like I don't care at all and he wants to know I am excited. So now I say... "whatever you choose will be equally fun!!" hahahaha
Sometimes I really DO NOT HAVE A PREFERENCE. Now, I just come up with a few ideas for him to help. It'sn ow a joke for us...
BUt great conversation on this thread!
ANd JT, she sounds confused, selfish right now. She knows she hurt you and the relationship and she wants to hear from you that its okay and you miss her. When she is not getting that, she says something sarcastic to make you feel bad. But in reality you sound very angry that she changed your life. Even if you have a friendship you will have to have this conversation and get to a place where you can be. Right now, it does not sound like you want that, and I don't know if a relationship would be healthy at this time. You sound like a caring guy, any girl will be lucky to have a chance to date you...
Thanks.. Im just going to start NC again even though I'm already healed I'm just trying to get this whole mess over with when she figures out what she wants is when I will talk but until then I am not meeting her up anymore.
If she starts talking to me on aim or in a text what should I respond back to her?
Only if you want to prolong the aggravation and agony. Why do you care what she "decides she wants?" Will you go back to her if she wants to get back together?Quote:
Originally Posted by JTS31708
Aww well I mean all girls need to have some fun but just because she wanted a break doesn't mean she wants one forever. I think that she needed to just think things over and have a little fun with her friends. Me and my boyfriend went through the same thing but we worked it all out so I'm sure that you guys will be just fine :) good luck with everything!
If she wanted to come back I wouldn't take her right away I would make sure its what we both want "especially her" and we work together to make it happen because it takes 2 to be in a relationship. I would take it slow to see how things go.
Thanks for all of the advice so far!
I'm afraid you would take her back in a New York minute. I also don't think you are over her. I wish you were. I do think you are better than you were in the beginning, just not totally over her.. I just think you both are too young to be taking any relationship very seriously. Have fun, be care free, and take care of your heart. I know, easier said than done. We have all been there. That is why I tell you this stuff. It's called experience. I really do wish you well.
JTS nice work! I was reading your early posts in the thread telling that you're the one treating her the best of all the bf's she have. That time, she have the POWER over u. Now you've go NC which u hesitated earlier and YOU are having SO MUCH POWER over her! Glad to see it happen brother... if u want to help this relationship, its HER that needs some working out and brain wash :)
The sad part is it can't be through u as some people just can't digest what their mate says when it comes to some important stuffs :)
Today was my dads birthday and she didn't know, until she went on my aim and saw that it was. So now I know that she basically checks up on my away messages to see what I'm doing or see if anything new is going on. Im still doing NC as of yesterday again so she can make her decision and make up her mind. This still isn't over yet ill keep you all posted when I find out something but until then. Im enjoying my life =] How is everyone else?
Well, don't know about everyone else, but me? I am on top of the world baby!! Hope you are truly enjoying your life. I have been "single" for awhile now, and I got to tell you, it is freaking awesome!! Happy Friday dude!Quote:
Originally Posted by JTS31708
I am doing pretty good, going through some stuff with my fiance's ex husbands family but that's never anything new.
I'm recovering from the baseball game last night. I'm a little tired but hanging in there. I need to wake up some how so I can do it all over again!!
A key to waking up = A large Vanilla Iced Coffee from McDonalds. It is perfection in a cup. I no longer need a $6 cup of, whatever the hell it is from Starbucks...
Yeah... I'm drinking a 16oz Royal Farms coffee right now. It will help till right about 2pm... then the afternoon crash comes... :rolleyes:
Update: lmaoo! To me I think this is funny, well I was online last night and my friend showed me some quotes that were really good so I put it on my Facebook and my aim late at night (not thinking about my ex at all) just put it up. The quote was pretty much like Tal's and this morning she wrote back saying " you were never an option, how could you say such a thing like that" Now I didn't mean it towards her she just took it that way.
Now what I'm asking is should I just tell her it was not towards her or leave it. Either way won't reset my healing process.
Thanks
Leave it alone, you know that it wasn't towards her and that's all that matters.
Just leave her too it, maybe she just needs space. If she doesn't want another guy you have nothing to worry about, and she will realise how much she loves you. Feel free to text and ask how she is doing, but just don't text her every min of the day or it will take longer
This is the third time I have read your "advice" and each time I am puzzled as to your way of thinking. Give me ONE decent reason he should text her asking how she is doing? One. Why? For what purpose does that serve?Quote:
Originally Posted by joshdom
If you are going to give advice to people who are hurting, give logical advice, and if it goes against the grain, a logical explanation of your thought process would be in order.
Im just going NC its working for me so ill just keep it that way unless she has something important to say.
I think this is probably going to be the final update: (thank god)
She texted me saying hi and I didn't respond back because I was keeping NC in mind. Then she texted back saying "you never text back" So I got fed up with all of this back and forth stuff so I finally asked her "what do you want me to say we have the same conversation every time. She then told me "to forget it" Then i asked her honestly what do you want out of us. She seemed unsure and said friends but idk. So i went off and wrote this prepare its kinda long lol "(I can't do it because it won't work out every time I see you every time I get a message from you its false hope to me. Im not being mean but just like you said it takes 2 to be in a relationship and work together to make it last but you didn't want to you let go of our relationship and left me alone I've been down for 2 to 3 months and trying to get over the fact that a perfectly good relationship went out the window. You made your decision about what you wanted to make you happy but for some reason you still seem confused.)" I wrote that then nothing back so I pretty much think its done with and I'm actually kind of glad because I'm tired of the same conversations back and forth and arguing and I just want this to be over with either we work it out or we don't talk ever again.
THanks for listing sorry it was long!
Is it OK that I wrote that? I wanted to let everything out to get this over with.
You have your closure now, so to speak, so be done with it. NO MORE. The issue with writing something like that is that you expect some type of response, so when you don't get one, you start wondering. If you do get one, you start wondering... double edge sword. The next time you have the urge to "vent" like that, may I suggest writing it down and ripping it up, or even posting it here. DO NOT give her the pleasure of your emotions.
Yea, post it on here and we can advise you on what to do. You got your closure, now just walk away from her as you deserve better
I hope your job hunting is going well. I must agree that finances are a strain on a relationship, and since your girlfriend has called you lazy and unexciting since you lost your job, she must have had fun with your money.Quote:
Originally Posted by JTS31708
She is probably checking your aim to see if you got a job. I think you should post that you are "away with friends" when you are here with us, after all, we care about you more than she does.
Its not about the money at all she had a good point ( I was lazy and couldn't find a job she said she would have been happy if I would have been a little bit more creative)
Update: lol all she wrote back after about 2-3 hours was "im sorry.."
So I am officially done thank god! I will not respond no matter how fed up I am I will come on here and let it out. The only way I will break NC is if she one day changes her mind that she wants to work it out but until then I do not care.
THanks everyone for being there and giving me advice! Sorry about sometimes that I didn't take it, but now after listening and going out with friends I feel a lot better.
The more you keep to nc, eventually even if she calls you and tells you she wants to work things out, you won't want to anymore because by that time you would have found something better in your life.Quote:
Originally Posted by JTS31708
Hopefully that happens
It will. All you have to do is believe it, if you don't it won't happen.Quote:
Originally Posted by JTS31708
I saw her aim away message and she put "dont cry over someone who wont cry for you". What kind of S**t is that? I hope that is not about me because I have cried over her for the past 3 months. That really pissed me off when I saw that but I came on here instead of telling her about it. To me that quote seems selfish.
Anything I should do?
This really wants to make me confront her on aim now!
That is just being selfish to me!
Im sorry to everyone but I had to confront her I couldn't wait any longer.
It made me feel so mad inside and I had to let it out
I hope you haven't confronted her yet... that's probably the biggest mistake you would have made. Why are you letting her trap you? At this rate you will never heal if you keep coming up with reasons to confront her. She is trying to play games with you buddy. You don't even know if that's directed at you.
It was directed towards me
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