Hi starlite I hope your doing well. When was the last time you had contact with him? I would not contact him too often. Let him think a little. Give him a chance to respond I guess.

I too maybe meeting my ex next week. I plan on being up front with her and telling her what I feel and would like out of a relationship with her. If she is not receptive then I will probably cut ties with her totally. I don't want to waste time pursuing a lost cause. I am trying not to contact my ex again until Tuesday/Wednesday. I do not want to seem needy or desperate. Also when I contact I ensure that the conversation is primarily about her and not me. Although I make sure to tell her about the positive things I am doing.

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Originally Posted by f104

Hi starlite I hope your doing well. When was the last time you had contact with him? I would not contact him too often. Let him think a little. Give him a chance to respond I guess.

I too maybe meeting my ex next week. I plan on being up front with her and telling her what I feel and would like out of a relationship with her. If she is not receptive then I will probably cut ties with her totally. I don't want to waste time pursuing a lost cause. I am trying not to contact my ex again until Tuesday/Wednesday. I do not want to seem needy or desperate. Also when I contact I ensure that the conversation is primarily about her and not me. Although I make sure to tell her about the positive things I am doing.

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Hi F104,

That is so great! Let her know how you feel, and that you would like to work things out. If there is anything that you are concerned with, of course, that needs to be descussed as well. You want to get everything out in the open, and then if she is receptive to getting back together, GO FOR IT! Good luck, and keep us posted :)

I spoke to him last week (a little over a full week ago). Do you think it's too soon to contact him? I did book my flight for July to go to the concert, and I told him that last week, so we are on for the concert. But, I haven't heard from him since that.

I would contact him since it has been over a week. But I think I would be more inclined to call him if I were you. Texting is fine but due to the length of time I would call him. Have you thought about asking him to call you every now and then? It seems that would be fair.

Oh yes I am totally laying it all out on the table when I see her.

Thanks F104,

Actually when we left off last week, after we said 'I love you' we said 'talk to you later'. That next day I got a text from him telling me that he may want to go back to his old company, and that he was first on the list of going back there. I texed back saying 'Good For you, that is excellent' and that was the last communication. So you feel a call is better than a text for me to give at this point?

Star I would. I do not see why that would be extravagant. If anything you are only reinforcing your earlier text. Could always show interest about how and why he has this new opportunity. Normal stroke the ego thing.

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Originally Posted by f104

Star I would. I do not see why that would be extravagant. If anything you are only reinforcing your earlier text. Could always show interest about how and why he has this new opportunity. Normal stroke the ego thing.

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Thanks F104,

That makes sense! I appreciate your advice!

Hi Guys,

I sent him a text last night (I was going to call, but decided to text instead). I just kept it light and said 'Just saying hi and seeing how you are doing. I am looking forward to seeing you! I will talk to you later! :-) ) But, I haven't gotten any response. (It's now Monday late morning). Should I be concerned?

Hi Starlite sounds like you and I are at the opposite ends of the same boat. I sent Kari a text Saturday night and I have not heard anything back either. I am concerned. I do not know if you should be or not. I will say that I do have a habit of jumping to the worst case scenario. Do you?

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Originally Posted by f104

Hi Starlite sounds like you and I are at the opposite ends of the same boat. I sent Kari a text Saturday night and I have not heard anything back either. I am concerned. I do not know if you should be or not. I will say that I do have a habit of jumping to the worst case scenario. Do you?

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Hi F104,

Oh yes, I do that as well. I know you and I are going through similar situations too, you are seeing your ex next week, and I am seeing mine in about 2 weeks. It is so hard, I love Eric more than anything, and I wish he would reach out, and stop playing games

Starlite I feel the same way about k too. I would be over the moon if she just sent me a text. I just do not know what to do. It's crazy I even went to a psychic lol. I trying to think of any reason I can to call her. Part of me says I don't care about NC. I do not care if she thinks I am needy. I just want to be with her more than anything. I am so not interested in anybody else.

Starlite I really hope things work out for you I really do.

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Originally Posted by f104

Starlite I feel the same way about k too. I would be over the moon if she just sent me a text. I just do not know what to do. It's crazy I even went to a psychic lol. I trying to think of any reason I can to call her. Part of me says I don't care about NC. I do not care if she thinks I am needy. I just want to be with her more than anything. I am so not interested in anybody esle.

Starlite I really hope things work out for you I really do.

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Hi F104,

A psychic! So did I! LOL! If you don't mind my asking, did your psychic provide good knowledge (positive outcome, where they true in there findings?)

I hope things work out for you too, F104.

No way! Yes she was positive about the whole thing. What about you? She seemed accurate to me but we shall see.

He was on big time! And he said that E and I will reconcile too, but I have to relax. He said that by me obsessing, it pushes the energy in the other direction, and hinders the time frame (he didn't provide definite time lines, but he was really on). He told me a lot about myself too, and wow! Was he right LOL! You are right, we shall see!

That is interesting. The psychic I saw told me the same thing. She also said I had to think positively about the whole thing or I would just push her away. It is so hard! The psychic told me I would see her in about 3 weeks which was almost 2 weeks ago and that K and I would talk things over and try again. I actually have the whole thing on tape.

That is amazing! Have you ever spoken to this psychic before? I've known mine for almost 3 years.

No I never have. I hope she is right. If things pan out with Kari I will definitely speak with that psychic again though. I went to a friend's graduation party and it was a psychic party. It was cool.

How did you meet the psychic you are seeing? Does Eric know you visit a psychic?

Back in 2005, I went to a street fair with my parents (after the first breakup with Eric), and we were getting ready to leave, when I saw this beautiful store (insense, crystals, etc), and outside was sign for psychic readings. So, I booked a 15 minute reading right then and there (my parents were ready to leave so they did), and I spoke with this psychic. He was great! So, for the past 3 years, this poor psychic has been dealing with me and my relationship with Eric. Eric doesn't know. He has become a friend of mine, which is really cool, too. His shop isn't far from me, but he does phone readings as well, so every so often I will call him and have a phone reading. He is really great, and has clients all over the world.

Hmm phone readings you say. I should call him

My psychic does phone readings too.

Actually I have an appointment with her today at 1 pm

That is not a bad idea. I will e-mail you the store number (His hours are Thurs. Friday, Sat, Sunday) I will also e-mail you his website. He may do readings when not in the store. Tell him you are friends with me (Karen) and how we met. I will send you a pm of his information. You will love him. He is a super nice guy, too!

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Originally Posted by f104

My psychic does phone readings too.

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Does she? Cool, let me know her info!

Will do.

Thank you! I just sent you a message with the info.

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Originally Posted by f104

Will do.

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One more thing. Did you have to provide details about your situation?

I think this is the best thing that ever happened to you. It is best he "be gone." He apparently is not ready for marriage and still does not know what he wants. Who ever hears about a "trouble free," relationship. That does not exists. I have been married for 23 years and there is always trouble. Every relationship is a work in progress. I think you are better off without him. You will be thankful in a few months. Let him go his way. Don't try to rekindle this. He is looking for a non-committed relationship. Don't even think of going to live with him. He will have his "cake and eat it too." You need to develop self confidence. It seems as if you lost that from your first marriage. You got with this guy on the rebound and that is what he is - a rebound. There are many great guys out there, believe me. This one is not for you. I usually try to give advise to make up, but this one isn't promising at all. It spells trouble all over it. Time will heal your hurt. Find things to do that make you feel good about yourself. Find friends that you can cherish and who will accept you for who you are. You deserve better.

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Originally Posted by waystogetexback

I think this is the best thing that ever happened to you. It is best he "be gone." He apparently is not ready for marriage and still does not know what he wants. Who ever hears about a "trouble free," relationship. That does not exists. I have been married for 23 years and there is always trouble. Every relationship is a work in progress. I think you are better off without him. You will be thankful in a few months. Let him go his way. Don't try to rekindle this. He is looking for a non-committed relationship. don't even think of going to live with him. he will have his "cake and eat it too." You need to develop self confidence. It seems as if you lost that from your first marriage. You got with this guy on the rebound and that is what he is - a rebound. There are many great guys out there, believe me. This one is not for you. I usually try to give advise to make up, but this one isn't promising at all. It spells trouble all over it. Time will heal your hurt. Find things to do that make you feel good about yourself. Find friends that you can cherish and who will accept you for who you are. You deserve better.

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Hi Way,

The thing is, I am going to visit him in July for a concert that he had booked for us before we broke up. I want to have a heart to heart with him when I go. I know you are all right in what you say, that this relationship is better to be left alone, but I really do love this man. Is there any advise pertaining to this trip that you can give? I did speak to him two weeks ago, and we didn't talk about 'us' just how we are looking forward to the concert, etc. I text him this past Sunday, but no response. (I started another post: 'Starlite strikes again'. Thank you very much.

Karen, Karen, Karen...

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Originally Posted by JBeaucaire

Karen, Karen, Karen....

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LOL!! I am at my desk cracking up! Thanks JB! And, honestly, I don't blame you! :D

Hi Starlite,
Hmmm! Personally, I think you still have your hopes up and that is why you are going to the concert, isn't it? Well, at least you both have some of the same interest. Is he paying your way from New York to Georgia? Not that this has any bearing on your relationship, but it will prove how badly he wants to see you or is he just going to the concert so he does not lose his money. I think if he is paying all the expenses, you can go, but make sure you either put some closure to this or get some good answers. Good luck.

He might confused with his emotions as well. I would call and if he don't answer, leave a message. See what his next move is then.

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Originally Posted by waystogetexback

Hi Starlite,
Hmmm!! Personally, I think you still have your hopes up and that is why you are going to the concert, isn't it? Well, at least you both have some of the same interest. Is he paying your way from New York to Georgia? Not that this has any bearing on your relationship, but it will prove how badly he wants to see you or is he just going to the concert so he does not lose his money. I think if he is paying all the expenses, you can go, but make sure you either put some closure to this or get some good answers. Good luck.

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Hi Ways,

I do still have my hopes up, I'll admit. I am actually paying for my own airfare. I would have anyway, even if we were still together. I am definatley going to have a talk with him to see if we can reconcile, but, the most important thing is that he has to realize that I am in it for the long haul, and that if issues arise in the relationship, we have to work on them as a team, and that him running away is not the answer. I hope he sees this, and I hope that he really does love me the way he always said he does, however, actions speak louder than words. I will keep you posted. Thanks Ways :)

Hi Liz,

I think you are right. Perhaps he is confused about everything, and/or busy with his work. I will wait a few days and then call him. I will keep the conversation light though.

Thanks guys.

Any more advise from anyone would be greatly appreciated.

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Originally Posted by Starlite1-aka-Borg-aka-EnergizerBunny

Any more advise from anyone would be greatly appreciated...

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Zanex. Double prescription.

I have no more advice but worry that your happiness depends on some fool changing and understanding what you need. All he cares about is what he wants. Sorry to be so... gloomy. You seem to bring much to his table, and he doesn't even appreciate it.

Hope you enjoy the concert.

I think in every relationship each partner should be so much in tune with themselves that they don't have to depend on each other for total happiness. If you go into a relationship depending on someone else to make you happy, you are going to be disappointed and I think that is what is happening here with both of you.

You are all right. I don't know what to do. My God, why the heck am I doing this to myself. Like he is really going to realize why I said what I said, and that I am so hurt? Yeah right. Who the hell, besides myself am I kidding. He doesn't give a rat's a$$ about me. But, the part that really sucks is that I love him, I really do. WHY!?

Hi Starlite I feel your pain. It sounds like you are suffering significantly. I am not about to suggest what you should or should not do as I am in no position to tell you if you what you are doing makes sense or not. Hell you know my story! My ex even e-mailed me last night after I thought I had totally cut all ties. She agrees that breaking up "for now is probably best but there is no reason why we should not remain in contact" she says.

Whatever you decide I just hope you do not have to keep on hurting the way you are.

Perhaps cutting ties with your ex is the right thing I don't know. That is a choice you will make in time. Take care, f104.

Hi F104,

Thank you so much for your kind words. I don't really want to cut ties with Eric, I still am going to go to the concert, but, why the hell is he doing this? I still haven't gotten a response from my text that I sent him. I am relaxing as much as I can, and I trying to remain calm, but my God. Doesn't this man realize how much I love him? I know I can't make him change or see the light, and even though I am not the most religious person, I pray every morning to God that he would give Eric the strength to feel me, but most importantly that Eric feel the love that he has for me. I don't doubt that he loves me, but if he can truly act on it. Since the breakup, I have had opportunities to date other men, but, even if time has gone past (like last time - a year and a half), I want to be with Eric.

This could be a long shot but perhaps he never received the text. In the e-mail keri sent me last evening she told me her phone was not working. Her phone has been trashy for the last couple of months. Perhaps Eric has the same problem? You could e-mail him.

At least you have not acted rashly with him. I am now trying to see if I can salvage seeing keri this weekend.

Thank you F104. Perhaps he didn't receive it. I will either send another, or call him.

I hope you are able to see Keri this weekend. I know you were really looking forward to it. Good luck, F104. Keep us posted, okay?