Awesome advice. WOW! THis whole damn website and you have got to be the only one that truly made damn sense.
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Awesome advice. WOW! THis whole damn website and you have got to be the only one that truly made damn sense.
I went through the same thing (I read all this when I started posting my ten cents at the halfaway mark I think on the 15th page) so I didn't get it all, then I went back after everyone condemned me and realized I had missed what seemed like 15 pages lol I love it its great. I went through the same thing with almost every girl I was with. My solution was once the fading the taintedness appeared I was gone immedietly. Why waste time too many out there. I look back and damn I wish I was still with her or her or her but you know what? I wouldn't have been able to be with her and her and her. I would still be stuck with her... years down the line after her I realized that maybe I didn't love her as much as I thought I did maybe it was in me the entire time. I learned there is a big difference between being lonely and being alone. I don't go to A/A to pick up women but I have picked up women there.
"Tis better to have loved and lost than to spend the rest of your life with a psycho." "Quote:
Originally Posted by jasondbel
Ha ha how true Jolie :)Quote:
Originally Posted by jolienoire
There really is no lesson here to be learned except... That is love. That is the bitter sweet symphony of a woman. Its beautiful isn't it? Wait to you meet your next encounter. So if you are writing word for word out of a love novel because you are bored that's one thing props to you for the idea but if this is really going on bro you have to... you have to ummmm hit up an A/A meeting.lol. Trust me. Go.
He doesn't need an AA meeting. Jeez what's wrong with you? There are plenty of single women. You just got to get strong enough and do well for yourself and put yourself out there once you're ready. I've never tried to find a relationship it just happens. Seriously though who are you Tyler Durden?
Everybody needs a break from any kind of relationship. Sometimes when there's no break, there's no relationship. Don't feel doubtful, it's just the way some people are. Everyone needs a break.
Jeez have you ever been to an A/A meeting? If not then shut the f$#@ up because anyone who writes a book about a breakup on a website to me is mentally blahhh sorry pal I'm oldschool you don't have to be a drunk to benefit A/A ever seen fight club? Check it ou
Break doesn't mean break up stupid! Like I say, heaps of people need a break but yeah, even 3 weeks is to long
I just read this entire thread and I think it's great you put in that much effort for your ex. Honestly, you put up with so much, I think it's pretty amazing to tell you the truth.
At least this way you will have zero regrets. If anything, it's her that will think of you because you were so good to her. You sound like such a great guy. I hope it all works out whichever way that is.
You people act like A/A is a bunch of ignorant crazy drunks. Sounds to me like this guy is full of depression. He is going bazooka in his head over this girl. He needs help. I guarantee someone at a meeting is not an alcoholic an is going through the same thing and brings insight. He needs to be around people not a danm computer to help ease his pain. Im not going to say go to a shrink and pay 150.00 nor am I going to agree that sitting on this website when depressed is a good thing as well as much as you people believe it is. SOOO why not go sit for one friggin measly hour in a circle and hear what others are going through on a personal face to face level for a buck. Why do you people keep knocking A f@#$$#@ A? If you've never been quit causing me to lose a point people!
A/A helps build strength back up. The earlier a person gets involved the program the better an outcome and something to lean on later on in life when times do get tough. And its only a buck a meeting. A/A helps build strength gives a person there energy back. How dare you people knock me on something and have never been.
This was your first comment about AA. No one doubts that it is a good organization, it' a great one for what it does, but it is not a place to go for "the girls or older women too" or one that I would advise people to go to if they are just depressed. If he were having a problem with drinking or some other addiction someone here would have suggested it. He is just having a rough time and he will get through it. The majority of us here don't mind listening to him, that's what we're here for. And those who are tired of hearing it can bow out at any time.Quote:
Originally Posted by jasondbel
You all take care good luck.
Wow. The directions this thread sometimes takes... Ah well, that's what this place is for right? Well, I have an interesting little update, but I won't post it until later tonight because I'm at work right now. Stay tuned!
Quote:
Originally Posted by freakinconfused
Ohh Can't wait I am at work too, going home soon, I seriously need a life..
http://i167.photobucket.com/albums/u...us/2r5xr7l.gif
OK so here's the latest update. Since I spent the night with the ex after having dinner last week (see previous posts), and after finding out that she had "made out" with someone (a week ago today. I put it in quotes because I suspect she's probably done more than just make out), I have pretty much just quit talking to her.
However, since then she has texted me like 8 times and has called pretty frequently (something like 10 or 12 times). I've responded to zero texts, and a couple of calls (mostly after she's called repeatedly). These calls I kept short, and I always ended them because I had other things to do (or at least I made it seem that way).
Also, in this time, her bad influence roommate has moved out of my ex's apartment and back to her hometown like 3 hours away. YAY! Except, now I feel like the reason my ex is doing the following (read on) is because she is lonely and has no one with her at her place. I don't feel bad for her though, because she's probably got a guy over there, but who knows, that might just be my imagination. Can't be sure, and I'm not going to waste time spying.
The texts mostly say things like "I had a great time going to dinner with you" and "I would really like to be kissing you now" and "I would really like to hear your voice" and "I miss you," etc. etc. I'm just going to say, before anyone jumps on me, that I am pretty sure that these are all just attempts to get me to respond to her emotionally (game playing, if you will) and I haven't.
Two days ago (Monday) she called two or three times, and I didn't answer. Then she called me at 1:40AM and I answered. She was crying and was upset (I know, I know, just a ploy to pull me into her emotional trap). I listened, being cool and collected, and being fully aware of what she was doing, and basically didn't respond to her emotionally. I didn't ask what was wrong or anything. She kept trying to calm down, but couldn't (more like she wouldn't because she wanted me to feel bad too). I just kept asking if she needed to get off the phone and get herself under control. She kept saying no, and that she would be fine, but she basically just continued to sound upset and cry. So we have a normal conversation for a bit, and then she comes out and says she feels like I just don't care about her anymore, and that I was just done with her. When she said that I started thinking 'Well, duh, what did you expect me to do, wait around for you forever?' Of course I didn't actually say that. But anyway, I told her that I wasn't going to do this bull$#!t on the phone, and if she wanted to have a normal chat, that's fine, but otherwise she already knew my feelings about the situation, and that I'm not going to sit around and waste my time talking to someone who can't get under control and stop crying. She said, "OK, I just thought your feelings might have changed" or something along those lines. I didn't really respond to that. She seemed to calm down (probably when she realized her emotional games weren't working) she started talking about how she wanted me to come over after work on Tuesday so that she could make me dinner (she actually left a message earlier saying this). I told her I would consider, but If she wanted to eat with me she should instead come out to my place and make me dinner. Then the conversation went on normally for a bit, and then I decided that I was going to switch up dinner on her and said I would rather do it Wed. night. She agreed, but was kind of hesitant (wonder why? Was I messing up her plans with her 'other' guy?) She then asked if she could bring her dog and spend the night. I was like, "I don't know if that's a good idea." But, I didn't say no, and I didn't say yes.
So then she asked if I would at least come by after work Tues. (yesterday). I told her I might. She then called up my work yesterday, but my boss intercepted the call and said I was busy (something I've asked him to do). She then calls again, and unfortunately I happened to answer the phone then. She asks if I would come over after work, and I told her no because I had band practice and my mom needed me to help her move some things (both true). She then said "Well, I made you cookies. Can I bring them to you before you leave?" I told her that was fine because, well, free home-made cookies! I knew it was just an excuse to come see me though. So she shows up like 5 minutes before I leave with some cookies and a thermos of cold milk. She is looking pretty and obviously has put on perfume. So we chat for a few minutes, and she notices the new guy (my replacement) and asks who he is. I told her that he's my replacement because, starting Monday, I'm switching store locations so that I don't have to drive 30 minutes to work. She seemed a little agitated by that, but I'm not sure, it could have just been in my head.
So then she walks me out to my car and basically traps me there and starts crying and asking me why I'm just acting like I don't care about her anymore and why I'm acting like I'm done with her. She then goes on to say that she's done some thinking over the past couple of weeks and really wants to work on "us" (basically saying what she thinks I want to hear) and really feels bad about the whole thing and is sorry, and that I'm the best thing to happen to her, etc. etc. Probably all bull$#!t, but it's hard to tell because I find it difficult to trust her. I just sit there and stare at her tears, but I DON'T get emotional AT ALL, because that is exactly what she was expecting of me. She then tells me that it seems like I'm just enjoying being without her. I told her that she knows my feelings, and that I love her and never wanted a break, and that it's extremely hard for me to believe what she says now because she's ruined my trust in her, and that I'm not going to lie, my feelings for her are less strong than they used to be (which is somewhat true) but they aren't gone. I said all of this with a cold, straight face of course, not raising my voice or anything. Then she says she's sick of her apartment and wants to get out of the area. I told her she had better start looking for a new job in the big city she's planning on moving to (as if to say "have fun, I'm not going with you"). She then brings up that she wants to move to a big city, but wants to go with me. I basically tell her that it's going to take a lot of work for us to get back to a point to where I'd feel comfortable doing that, and that I don't think I'll be moving anytime soon, but want a better job around here and make more $. I asked what she's going to do, and she said she'll probably move back in with her mom (her mom lives in the same area as me, about 10 minutes away) because she wants to be with me and will do what she has to for "us" (yeah right! Probably a lie.) I told her why doesn't she get an apartment with one of her friends, and she told me she didn't want to because she would then have to commit to another year here. I basically thought at that point, 'Well then you must not care about me that much or want to be with me that much because if I NEEDED to stay here longer, and you REALLY wanted to work on "us" and be with me, you would stay as long as I needed to.' Anyway, at that point I got fed up and told her I had to leave. Still crying, she asks me if she at least gets a hug. I give her one for about 10 seconds, but she keeps trying to hang on, so I actually have to pry her off me. Then she says "OK, I'll call you tomorrow to finalize dinner plans, and I'll see you tomorrow night." She goes and gets in her car, and I jump in mine. I don't even look at her or wave bye, I just leave. Ahh, playing the cold coquette is fun! Not. It's stressful.
So then, I warm it up several hours later by sending a text (the one text I've sent to her in weeks) saying "Thanks for the cookies! They are good!" She calls later, but I don't respond.
So that's where we are now. She is going to call later and make sure dinner is still on. I haven't decided if I should say that something came up and I should reschedule (playing the game) or let her come over and see how things flow. I will probably let her come over and make me dinner, but I will, WITHOUT A DOUBT, filter every action she takes and word she speaks as being "game play," and I will spin it back on her, and continue to be slightly cold and aloof like I've been, but throw in a warm moment (like the above text). I know, I know, games are for kids, but I need practice. Also, I really want to see if the things she says are legit (95% chance they aren't), and if she really is sorry for what she's done and wants to try to get back together, or if she is still just full of $#!t. Suggestions anyone? My mom thinks I should let her come over, cook, and see how it goes. If I'm happy with it, then maybe she can spend the night, but that I should be wary and not fall into any traps. If I'm not happy with dinner, then I should tell her it was lovely, but I've got things to do and she needs to go. Either way, my mom thinks I should just not call her/speak with her/text her for several days afterward, and just ignore all of her attempts to contact for a few days.
I have to say that this girl seems to be bringing the hammer homie. Lol!
I am not saying give in or stop what you are doing however she seems to be sincere.
I would feel her out and see how she is when the emotions die down.
Damn! Lol
Must feel good :>)
Good Luck!
I actually read all of this, Whew
But basically in a nutshell, everyone has abandoned her, her friends, probably the new guy is a jerk, probably not calling or contacting her, It made her realize that the one true person who really cared was you.. The thing with this is okay she wants you back, but DO you really want her back? And what happens when her friends come back in the picture will she abandon you again? It is a tough decision, don't open up too much only to get hurt again and don't rush to make a decision to not hurt her by saying "yes" and then regretting it later... You need to do some serious thinking.. I am glad that you can stand your ground now. But if you can't trust her, I don't see how this is going to work... Trust and communication are severely important in any relationship.. She needs to know and understand and because you lost trust the relationship will NEVER EVER be the same NEVER..
Think about it real deep... No one can tell you what to do I think you know what you have to do... Whatever your decision is GOOD luck.. Stay and not trust... perhaps fall out of love with her completely... Or Love and let go, and leave your love for her neutral...
I've thought some about this. I'm not saying that I couldn't ever trust her again. I'm simply saying that right now my trust in her has severely diminished, and it will take A LONG time to rebuild it if I choose to go down that road. And she knows that. I've made it clear to her on several occasions.Quote:
Originally Posted by jolienoire
Quote:
Originally Posted by jolienoire
I haven't exactly touched this point with her yet, but I think she knows this. I know this in my heart, but what's going to be different now is that I'm not going to cater to her every need, and that I'm totally going to stand up for myself and what I believe in. And honestly, I think that was part of the issue before. I just caved every time she got upset, and I tried to diffuse the situation. I'm not doing that anymore, and I haven't been for the past week or two. I'm simply just not going to do that ever again, whether it's a relationship with her or not. I know what it is to be in control of what's going on now, and if we do get back together, which I'm not saying we are, I plan on keeping it that way. I still don't know if she is sincere or not, or just trying to play games still, but I don't mind trying to feel it out.
Once someone betrays you they will always betray you.
Quote:
Originally Posted by freakinconfused
I understand where you are coming from just be careful don't want you to get hurt again... “Follow your heart, but be quiet for a while first. Ask questions, then feel the answer. Learn to trust your heart.”
Quote:
Originally Posted by jasondbel
True, that is always food for thought. Believe me, I don't really intend to rush this at all. I plan on thinking about it for a good long time.
Quote:
Originally Posted by freakinconfused
“Time is one of the essential ingredients. Each day brings 86,400 seconds. Whatever isn't used is gone forever.” Anony..
She didn't betrayed you, she asked or a break and now resents that she did. You may be feeling betrayed because this whole thing hurt you. She may very well be sincere, but take it slow. Please be honest, honesty is not weakness. Don't play games, they are for children. Communicate what you are thinking and feeling. Don't assume she means something else when she says or does anything, if you are not sure, ask her.
I'd like to see you two work this out, but if you don't, hopefully both of you will be better partners to someone else. Just don't bring the baggage from this relationship into the next one.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Homegirl 50
I still don't think it's entirely clear that she resents what she has done. Her change in behavior has only come about very recently, and for all I know it could be another attempt to manipulate me - just an approach she hasn't tried before. Only time will tell if that's true. I don't necessarily feel betrayed, but yes I definitely did, and still kind of do, feel hurt. Perhaps betrayed isn't the right word in this case. I just feel like the trust we had between us is not really there anymore because I got dumped. I'm not saying that I can't ever be there again, but it will take a while to build it back up - if getting back together is in our future, which is just not clear right now. It's kind of hard to believe and trust someone who decides they don't want to be with you, and then suddenly starts acting like they do again, know what I mean? It's just impossible to know if those are honest intentions or not. And I know that I am the only person who really KNOWS her, but I thought I knew her two months ago and look at what happened. So, it looks like I don't really know her at all. And everyone on this thread has made it clear that what she was doing with me is putting me on a back burner while she tested the waters. Even my mom said that's probably what she's doing. When that kind of thing happens, how are you supposed to trust the other person right away? You can't really.
Believe me, I don't like playing games. I tried NOT to play games with her for two months, and it really didn't get me anywhere. The only thing that's getting me anywhere is throwing her game back in her face - which makes me stop and think that it's really not even worth it, because I don't want to play games. As far as communicating what I'm thinking and feeling, I've done that already, right? I've already told her how I feel and quite honestly I'm sick of repeating myself. It's like putting a square peg in a round hole. It doesn't get me anywhere.
I do hope it works out, but I'm not getting my hopes up just yet. Little to early.
She wasted space and during her space she made out with another guy. That is betrayal. She had those intentions from the moment she asked for space. Been there done that. The guy was probably older and he dissed her or she realized that you were better. The grass is greener on the other side. I care about you bro I feel your pain. Ive been trying to stay out of it (people classified me as the "peice of scum bag" that had sex with a girl at A/A (whom by the way was fine as hell and rocked me) so frankly I don't care what you people have to say because this is about you confused and I'm right there on the edge of my seat I'm feeling you man... tell her you just want to be friends and haul ! Let her waddle in pitty for what she did. Then again, both of you are young and never played the field so can you blame her? I told you from the beginning to find a girl and flaunt it on her face. I guarantee after all this writing you are probably over her by now so let her see you with another girl. You must have at least one girl even if she is a friend that your girl doesn't know right?
She broke up with him and kissed another guy. He made him move out and moved another girl in a drunk girl at that.
Wanted space
I just think you are just reading too many negative opinions in this forum which really affect your thinking right now. If you still love her and is going to rebuild the trust on her, why not give it a try and do it slowly?
She is now going through what you went through before 2 months ago. At some point, she will eventually give up on this relationship. Do you really want the relationship with her end up like this? Ask yourself?
It is just my opinion and just do whatever you think is right. Do Not take all the advices from this forum because like Homegirl said, they do not know your girl... all cases are different...
You're right LeafCan. Im wrong. I just have never in my life before this sight been on a computer this long at 31 and have real life friends and an entire family of all girls and they got friends and have always brought around friends and TV was never my thing and I work out often for a long time so I can pick who I want to be with. So if she is all you got go for it fight for this feeling of having to spill your world on the internet. If I get hurt I'm gone none of I'm so sorry crap. Moving on. Life is too short. Too many girls. People want to waddle in a mess of a relationship trying to hang on to something only because they don't want to be alone. As you get older you will find that there are many "she is the one for me girl out there"
Well this thread has taken a turn for the weird in the last few pages. As for the last update, I think what it boils down to is that she didn't enjoy single life as much as she did, so she has enacted her back up plan. The thing to remember is that if she did it once, and then you took her back, she may very well do it again. Think about how it made you feel when she said she wanted a break from you? Her opinion of you at that time couldn't have been very high and you need to remember that moment and feeling before you decide whether you want to pursue things with her again.
There is a chance that if you get back together with her and as soon as things start going smoothly, she will start feeling the same way again. I was in a similar situation 4 years ago, and I took the girl back after she had her 'fun'. I regret it to this day. We stayed together for 2.5 years after, but I couldn't let go of what she did. I wasted some of my prime 'dating' years in a dead end relationship that came to a spectacular painful ending (with her repeating it again).
Good luck with whatever you choose, keep us posted.
I don't think she had a bad opinion of you she obviously loves you there is obviously some kind of attraction I'm not saying that at all. Im saying that she was faced with temptation like adam and eve and eve took the apple yeah same thing how ironic. This is probably not going to be the last time you get hurt by your partner either. You can either play the "love relationship family" game aka sucka or you can play the field. Get yourself a variety. You're too damn young to worry about a girl like this. Either you're too much a push over (captain save a hoe) or you're gay. This is just weird. Girls want to have fun and when they do and hurt someone that loves them they say they are confused start crying etc... As bad as you want her and as bad as you don't want to admit it because of four wonderful yrs of sex and fun, another man got to her. I won't be surprised if she starts hitting the clubs and bars.
I am not saying all the opinions are wrong but sometimes you can't take all the advice from here as you are the only person who understand the situation the best.
I understand most of us here are really wanting to help Freaking... I am just telling him to do whatever he thinks is the right thing, learn from the mistakes and no regret.
And Jason, obviously you have more life experience than I do and we all respect your opinions and they are all helpful :) I just think every girl is unique and our opinions shouldn't directly affect Freaking's mind. He should take them and think about them seriously.
Sorry... my english is kind of bad :(
Every girl is unique and to put them all in one basket is wrong. We don't know if she has slept with another guy or not, nor do we know if she is pretending. Take it slow with her if you decide to. But if you don't think you can "forgive and forget" leave her alone. Spare you both the hassle.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Thabs
I appreciate your comment Thabs, but have you even read this whole thread? I don't think you have because we've already been over this. I definitely know that is NOT the issue. We have talked about marriage before (both during our relationship and even afterward), and both of us AGREED wholeheartedly that its early for that. Hell, if that were it you think she would have said something instead of just calling it quits. I've even put that exact question to her. I've straight up asked her if the reason she wanted to break up was because she wanted to get married and I didn't come around and ask her, and the answer I got was a clear NO. I may not trust her as much or believe what comes out of her mouth lately, but I certainly believed the answer to that question. And what if I had married her, and then she decided she needed a break? What then? Divorce? Or just let her go out, be adulterous, and f^ck whoever she wants? I don't think so. If no woman wants to stay in a relationship for too long, then how is marriage helping that out? It's not, at all. If someone wants to go on a break and have their freedom, I would think marriage would be the farthest thing from their mind.
Look people, I know this thread has become huge and I've basically written a book here, and I really really thank you all for your advice and help! I really do. But if you aren't going to read the whole thread and understand the entire story, then why waste both my time and yours by posting pointless comments on here? Hell, jasondbel's comments are off the wall, sure, but at least there is some truth to them. So I'm just going to ask, please read the whole thread before posting if you feel like you have something valuable to say. Otherwise you are probably bringing up something we've already covered.
Well anyway, she drove out and made me dinner last night. I made her squirm for it though - she called twice and I just let it ring and go to voicemail. I pretty much waited until the very last minute to call her back as well, and then didn't bring up dinner until she asked about it. But anyway, it was a good dinner. And honestly, it was fun night overall! We just hung out, chatted about things we've done together, watched TV, drank a little, and just relaxed. She acted like she wanted to stay the night (she had asked me if she could earlier when she made these dinner plans, I told her I didn't think it was a good idea then). I waited until late in the night, and then I told her she was welcome to stay (I didn't want to commit to anything until I saw how the night went first). I could see the expression on her face and could tell her mind was racing. I know that she probably wanted to stay but that she couldn't make up her mind. So, I told her, very politely, that I changed my mind and I wanted her to just go back home. She didn't leave until 1:45AM though! There wasn't any physical contact really except for a hug and a light kiss (both times she initiated the contact) at the end of the night when I walked her down to her car.
No complaints really. Good night overall. There wasn't any game playing (at least from what I could tell) or any power struggles or anything. She didn't try to seduce me like the last time we went to dinner, and I didn't try to do that to her either. We just hung out and had a decent time. We made arrangements for her to come hang out later this weekend (probably Sunday - again, I made her come out to me). This DOES NOT mean, however, that I'm letting my guard down at all. In fact, I don't plan on communicating with her until Sunday, and only after she calls me first that day. She's already sent two texts since then.
Nor does it mean I want to get back with her just yet. That's going to take a while - if that is ever going to happen. I'm not going to lie - for two months she basically kept me hanging on, and all I could think about was getting her back. But now that I'm mostly in control of this situation (thanx to Chuff, Homegirl, Enigmagnetic, Clarityseeker, Jiser, and the rest of you dedicated advice givers) I feel like I'm almost enjoying being single. I feel comfortable with it - so I'm in no rush to get back together with her. I guess I'll just be taking it slow and see what time brings.
Thanks confused. You talked about it enough you should be over the broad! Let her go dog. You got plenty friends we are all here for you. Im just old school pimp status that's all but the bottom line here is she is a energy vampire. She is sucking the energy out of you. Making you lose sense of reality and who you are as a person. You seem like a damn good person. She might want to get back with you but don't do it. Don't give her the satisfaction of her being the winner and in control again. Don't SAVE THE GIRL FROM HER GUILT. C me I would say you want to go go biaaaaatchh don't let the door hit you in your rear. Go get that book "Energy Vampires" forgot the author. You will know on the first date if she is a blood sucker or not. THe power struggles etc. are not going to happen when she is trying to regain control its after you are hooked again. What is her background like, does she come from a family of money? Educated I'm sure you seem pretty smart just caught up in emotion.
You have to look at women as a business deal. Which one will you be able to profit together. She's got you depressed. You are losing money right now. She's fired, NEXT! WIsh I was there id put a girl in your lap so quick you wouldn't even think twice about her again.
Is the book you're thinking of "Energy Vampires: A Practical Guide for Psychic Self-protection" by Dorothy Harbour? Or "Psychic Vampires: Protection From Energy Predators & Parasites" by Joe H. Slate? Looked them up on Amazon... hehe. Well, her background is similar to mine. We both grew up in the same town, went to different high schools but knew some of the same people. Her parents got divorced when she was really young, and so she grew up with a single mom and lived about 10 minutes away from me. She didn't have any siblings. My parents also got divorced when I was about 13 and I grew up with a single mom. I have a brother. Neither of our parents were rich, but we weren't poor by any means. Just regular middle class people. We both went to the same university, but I transferred over to her university after spending my freshman and sophomore years at a different college. That's when I met her. We were both working at the same restaurant/bar over the summer.
As far as giving her the satisfaction of being the winner and in control, I don't plan on ever doing that again - That was one of the BIG problems the first time, and I've learned my lesson - that is assuming that we actually get back together, and as of right now I'm still leaning toward NO. But I can't say what will happen down the road just yet. And you are probably right when you say the power struggles aren't going to happen until we are back into the relationship - but if that were to happen, I would at least know what to look for, and to know to hold my ground. If she had a problem with it, then I would just give her the boot. I really would.
Quote:
Originally Posted by freakinconfused
“Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option”
“Relationships-of all kinds-are like sand held in your hand. Held loosely, with an open hand, the sand remains where it is. The minute you close your hand and squeeze tightly to hold on, the sand trickles through your fingers. You may hold onto some of it, but most will be spilled. A relationship is like that. Held loosely, with respect and freedom for the other person, it is likely to remain intact. But hold too tightly, too possessively, and the relationship slips away and is lost.”
Unknown.
Ha, good quote. Is this what I'm doing in this situation?Quote:
Originally Posted by jolienoire
Also a good quote. Where do you keep coming up with these? I don't think I've been holding on too tightly. I didn't during the relationship for sure. Maybe afterward I did... but as of late I've just tried to let it go, but as soon as I started doing that, she seemed to come around. Hmmmmm... games games games games.Quote:
Originally Posted by jolienoire
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