Awesome idea and by the way I love how everyone answers my question within an hour!! You guys rock!! Thanks!!Quote:
Originally Posted by nauticalstar420
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Awesome idea and by the way I love how everyone answers my question within an hour!! You guys rock!! Thanks!!Quote:
Originally Posted by nauticalstar420
Ha ha, thanks. There's always someone online willing to help ;)Quote:
Originally Posted by Hottrodder246
Just keep up with making yourself better. I know you can get past this, it just takes time. :)
I still ask - who are bringing up in the past memories? Someone you used to date or be married to? Are you bringing up your gf's past? Any of her faults? Are you bringing up your past? That is why I asked. Some people make atrocious errors in relationships by bringing up past garbage that needed to be taken out long ago.
Now if you are bringing up pleasant past memories of the two of you and she responds well to that, then you are doing okay. But listen to her, if she says enough is enough, then enough is enough.
I just realized something today, this is a test. This gives me the PERFECT opportunity to go out and have fun with as many girls as I want while I have time to find who I am and what I like. If we are really meant for each other there is no question that we will eventaully find each other again. Throughout my relationship with her there were kind of stages where she would lean on me all the time and I would lean on her all the time, right now is the time that she isn't anywhere near me and I was trying to lean on her. What me and you talked about, I think the stage is going to switch back over to her, but it could a very long time. She has feelings for me that go deeper than anything or anyone has ever gone before, those feelings are dormant right now, but for now ROCK ON!!Quote:
Originally Posted by nauticalstar420
Good for you. That's exactly how you should be looking at this time. I'm glad you get it.
After my last breakup I literally did whatever what me happy. It was really cool. It was nice to not have to worry about another person and to be able to fully focus on my own happiness.
Good job. Have fun! I hope you keep this up, you seem to be improving! :)Quote:
Originally Posted by Hottrodder246
Great, that's exactly the right mindset to have. Take charge of your own life and your happiness.Quote:
Originally Posted by Hottrodder246
Ok I got really depressed the other day and I decided to drink at my house with a bunch of my friends and stupid me I decided to send my ex two messages through myspace. Here they are....."Hello Amy, it is me Timmy your friend, right off I will tell u that i am a little drunk right now, congrats on ur new baby cousin!!!!! Hooray!!!! in case u didnt know i got a tattoo!!!! go to my profile and look at it. its a tribal and it mean strength and courage. its what i need right now, did u know that i still sleep in the same bed where we made love!!!!!!!!!!!! if only u knew how it felt!!!!! one day u will know how i felt!!!! im not mad at you, i dont hold a grudge, im happy for u and i dont give a if u message me back or anything because i know u wont, because ur like that. anyway i have been going to the gym every day and i look great. i feel great and i hope ur happy for me. I want to be honest with u, im ok but i still think about you everyday and i wish the best for u. go to my profile and listen to my song, please do me that favor. College must be great for u, since i withdrew already since i withdrew, im a loser ahahahahahhahahah. w/e u dont care because u dumped me and thats that. but guess what smooshies im a better person now and u dont realize it. and dont forget my b-day is on thursday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! woooo hewwww!!!!! amy u WERE the best thing in my life and w/e i dont care, have a good night and just stay safe. remember i love u and jamesies doesnt!!!!! hahahhahahaha thanks for all the good memories, i will never forget them and i cherish them everyday and if u ever wanna try again call me!!!!!!!!!!! ur the best u red headed gorgeous beauty." and this one o i am sooooooooooooooooooooooooo sorry about that message!!!!! i was wasted!!!! my life is kinda going down the drain!!! but really amy i am moving to NJ and guess what? did u know that i am still factoring YOU in the equation!? i really want u to see me for who i have become, just please gimme that chance!!!! i mean we dated for 2 and half years and we loved each other very much. close your eyes and just see me as i see you. u could make a good husband and i have a goal in life, i wanna support you and w/e comes our way. I promise i wont bother u anymore, that last message i was ed up. just please do me a favor and dont forget about me, u know how much i love u!!!!! god i feel soooo stupid!!!! everyday i ask myself about u and i pray to go that ur ok and safe and happy. dont u understand that i could be suck a good man for u, i could buy u anything and i could do anything for u. amy it has been too long, im sick of it. babie, cutie pie, like i said before u arent going to respong to this and its ok. Its just !!!! what else do u want from me!!!!!!!!!??????? im a man whos willing to sacrfice anything for this special girl (YOU) isnt that good enough, someone to care for u and be there always. You just remember that amy and dont u ever forget how much we have been through, EVERYTHING!!!! from the first time u sat on my lap on valentines day to when we first kissed. dont u ever forget about me. im too good a person too let goo. JUST REMEMBER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i still remember everything from us and i still hold on to everything between us. Amy im sorry for everything i have done to u, please forgive me for. remember the celine deon CD we sang too each other, u gotta see the love in that. dont u dare ever forget who loves u most, DONT U EVER!!!! I still love u and w/e i feel so pathetic right now, Huhhhhhh babie i love you, goodbye. I sent both of those messages last night while I was completely drunk, what should I do, Im freaking out here!
Yipes dude, you kind of did the old "drunk and dumb move"... no worries, we all have. No damage control will un-do it, just laugh about it and DON'T DO IT AGAIN! Oh man, I can't help but laugh a bit when reading them because I have done close to the same. I would say just act like it never happened, don't send her another message... PERIOD... FOR NO REASON!! If you want to prove it was "a drunk thing" let it be just that, let it go, have a laugh, move on.
HAHAHA! The next morning I woke up and thought it was a dream! I looked at it and laughed so hard! I did have a good laugh! Lol and surprisingly I feel OK about it.Quote:
Originally Posted by jeffatl
Im telling you man, I know the feeling... Ive done that pretty bad as well. It makes you feel like an , but if you don't see her... it shouldn't matter. If you do see her, just laugh about it, poke fun at yourself for it. Hahahaha, wow bud you laid it on THICK! Hahaha, its cool. Just TRY not to send her anymore, not even a "hello" for at least a month.
Ouch.
At least you didn't put LOL anywhere.
I think this is one of those occasions where it's best to pretend it never happened.
Ummmm... who is your cell phone provider that you can send a text message that long??
I agree with previous posts. Laugh about it, forget it, move on and don't do it again!
Hugs, Didi
=)) hahaha I laughed my off. Last night I had a chat with my ex and was a sleepwalker saying things I never meant and I woke up freaking out trying to fix things too. But eventually it was funny and ridiculous just like you did hahahha.
I wish we could have champaine here and cheer up, man!
Ask yourself why you want to bring up past events. Are you trying to reconnect? Are you gloating? Are you trying to annoy the person? If you really want to do this, try out a fairly neutral memory and see how it goes. (Remember when we fed the ducks at the park?) If the person is like "Oh Yeah!" then continue.
For what purpose? Are you trying to get back with them? If so, its extremely powerful to inject good past memories of the two of you, something which you think she also thinks is a good memory. If not, I don't see the point really. I wouldn't be talking to an ex if I didn't want to get back with them, but hey, that's just me. ;)Quote:
Originally Posted by Hottrodder246
Quote:
Originally Posted by grammadidi
Re-read his post... it was through MYSPACE, not a cell phone.
Lol you are an idiot. Write her one more message that says "Sorry for all that. Won't happen again."Quote:
Originally Posted by Hottrodder246
Just wanted to tell that I am staying strong and having funn. My ex's birthday is coming up on the 28th and mine is actually on the 18th, tomorrow. I was thinking of giving her a call that day and saying happy birthday or sending her a card, is that too much? I want to do something where she will say "Aw that was very sweet" and I want to get her thinking again.Quote:
Originally Posted by nauticalstar420
You're going back. You may or may not realize it but when you keep finding "reasons" to contact her it's just a confirmation you won't let go. I would send her a card and then do the whole No contact thing until your emotions become a lot more settled down and distant towards her. Otherwise you will keep this situation in perpetuity.
True that, but I haven't spoken to her in over a month and I figured it would be a nice gesture. And yes I am having a hard time letting her go.Quote:
Originally Posted by enigmagnetic
I think it would be a bad idea. You still have not let go. You are still looking for ways to be in some kind of contact.
I agree. It is a bad idea. Let it go. Its only been a month and granted its her birthday but you are not in the right place yet to be contacting her for any reasons.
OK then that's cool, I won't contact her
And don't contact her for a few more months.. you will find out that it gets easier and some of the advice we have been giving will sink in. And you don't even want to contact her any longer.Quote:
Originally Posted by Hottrodder246
Keep in mind a wound won't heal if you keep picking at the scab constantly. And this is exactly like that.
Forget about her, find new friends and a new woman and you will find you suddenly not only let go, but you don't even care about her anymore. And then you have taken charge of your own life and your own happiness.
Please somebody help answer these questions for me, why my did my ex start dating a guy exactly one month after we broke up (we dated for 2 and half years) when she went away to college two hours away while he is here in town? How can you start a healthy relationship at a long distance when they see each other every couple weeks? Why do I feel the need to "check up on her" every couple days (checking her myspace)? Why can't I just let go, I have done everything to keep myself busy and I still think about her constantly, is it time or am I still doing something wrong? Should I hang on to hope or am I wasting my life? Somebody please help me out so I can better understand it.
Hottrodder, I emphasize with your situation. The feelings you have are normal reactions. You have not let go and sill care about her. You need need to cut her off, and continue focusing on yourself. She will come up in your mind, but you need to occupy your mind. My ex is on my mind, and at times it can be overwhelming. BUT I'm still here, you are still here. It will be OK.
Curiosity has gotten the best of you. You want to know what she's doing, who she's seeing. Why does it matter? Does finding out really make you feel better? Don't check up on her. It will only make the situation worse.
I will pass on advice that someone else gave me. If she has found someone else, it has no bearing on what kind of man you are, it only shows how weak she is. You are better than that, you are a caring guy and deserve better, someone who will appreciate you.
It will take time to heal. Time is going to tick away, and you are in control of what you do with the time. Do not put your life on hold, in hopes of her returning. You will only regret having that time past you by. Be strong and take each day at it comes. You will be OK. Feelings and states of consciousness are not permanent, they come and go.
Why do you keep asking the same questions? We have told you toforget her and move on SEVERAL times. Please stop starting new threads with the same old story!
Your were blinded by the light and you'll see it slowly vanish in time. Just let her image recede and try not to feel like crap because it's taking so long. If you must think about her try to mix "the good the bad and the ugly" and never focus on just the good stuff. Hard for you to believe this but some day you'll thank the stars she's not around and you'll be with a much better person.
Yea I agree with everything you said, she is weak, she couldn't be alone, as soon as we broke up she ran to him. I don't want to be with a weak person.Quote:
Originally Posted by needofhelp
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