Because she wants to know she still hs you under her thumb. She wants to know if she still says jump you will respond back how high?

Dude, she never really cared about you. No one who treated you the way she did cared about anyone other then herself. What now that she's been going to church for a few weeks she's redeemed? My grandmother always said the biggest sinners are the loudest about church.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by GlindaofOz

Because she wants to know she still hs you under her thumb. She wants to know if she still says jump you will respond back how high?

Dude, she never really cared about you. No one who treated you the way she did cared about anyone other then herself. What now that shes been going to church for a few weeks she's redeemed? My grandmother always said the biggest sinners are the loudest about church.

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Biggest sinners are the loudest about church LOL

Ahh feels so good to have my phone number changed... feels so free. I hope she is just panicking, not that I care, but the things she did to me, I wonder when she realizes she's been CUT OFF like she cut me off how she will feel... Uh yeah I'm going to have access to him, but he won't to me... what a dumb $#@!

Hope she is now depressed her "bank" is GONE and now she will just have to flap her wings to someone else

now shell do the drive bys... random stop ins... all that crap. I have that paper clip you gave me thought you'd need it back... hopefully not.

Still got the same bank account number? Have you contacted the credit agencies since she does have your social # ?

Quote:

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Originally Posted by J_9

Still got the same bank account number? have you contacted the credit agencies since she does have your social # ?

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I'm with J-9. This is even more important then the phone number change. You never know what someone is capable of doing until they do it.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by kp2171

dumb mistake number one. you know you need to not be friends to get away from this noise.




problems coping with an inheritance after a parents death isnt uncommon. but dont blame her for the cash you blew. like it or not, even if you were not perfectly stable mentally, you were just as much a part of the problem. you were not disciplined financially. you did not make clear your expectations financially... meaning if she pulled the kind of crap you said she did, that you should have thought twice about whether it was worth it. it wasnt, was it?

again... hard to cope after your dads death. i get it. even blowing some of the money, i get it. but you really can't blame her too much. you were as much to blame, so you need to let that go.





uh. hmmm. no you have not been broken up since june 5th. youve been shacking, screwing, fighting, and otherwise hanging out.

uh... you want her to realize her mistake? nope. sorry buddy. thats not part of the plan.

when you break it off it isnt with the condition that the other person ever, in any way, feels sorry for what they have done to you.

if they were sorry in the first place, ya probably wouldnt be broken up.

so you need to suck it up here. ive been there. we all like to think our ex's are suffering a little, missing us, sorry for all the bad things. well... doesnt work like that.

your wanting that is normal, but as long as you hold onto "is she sorry", well, you still arent broken up completely.

so who cares if shes sorry or not. unless you are interested in furthering a failed relationship with a person whom you can't trust emotionally or financially...

i know... three years is a long time to spend just to realize you were with the wrong person. at least it took you less time than me. i was with a girl (not married) almost 7 years. the minute i finally walked away, after all the noise and crap, i was in a better place. yeah, it sucked for a year or so... but man, dont go back there again.

shes bad for you and unless you expect better for yourself and OF yourself, you are going to get it.

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WOW - exactly! Also...The money he spent, he could have used to make another woman who cared for him "more attractive" if just "looks" meant so much to him..

http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/36/36_19_1.gif Oh well, live and learn.. I hope.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by DougE

Ahh feels so good to have my phone number changed.........feels so free. I hope she is just panicking, not that I care, but the things she did to me, i wonder when she realizes she's been CUT OFF like she cut me off how she will feel.....Uh yeah im going to have access to him, but he wont to me....what a dumb $#@!

hope she is now depressed her "bank" is GONE and now she will just have to flap her wings to someone else

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get over it already, and get help before you make someone else the center of your universe. The only one 'giving a damn' should be you, but you have to take yourself serious and realize you really need to work on your obsessions. Stop thinking about how she will feel about anything you do, because she doesn't care...


http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/23/23_165_7.gif

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Chery

get over it already, and get help before you make someone else the center of your universe. The only one 'giving a damn' should be you, but you have to take yourself serious and realize you really need to work on your obsessions. Stop thinking about how she will feel about anything you do, because she doesn't care....


http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/23/23_165_7.gif

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Well Cherry... IF SHE wastnt OBSESSED, she Wouldn't GET CALLING MY PHONE, ESPECIALLY AFTER GETTING HER NUMBER CHANGED.. . you don't think she is OBSESSED? Why else would you do it other than just flat out CRAZY?

Doug,

Chill out on Chery already. This thread is 17 pages long, which means 170 posts, including this one. It is very obvious that you need some help that we cannot give you.

Your Ex may be obsessed, but you seem to have some problems of your own that only professionals can help you with.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by J_9

Doug,

Chill out on Chery already. This thread is 17 pages long, which means 170 posts, including this one. It is very obvious that you need some help that we cannot give you.

Your Ex may be obsessed, but you seem to have some problems of your own that only professionals can help you with.

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Yeah J-9 I'm starting to think you are right. I wish I did not put someone the center of my universe. Ive been in counseling since November 2006 and to no avail. I'm drinking like crazy and its just bad

Then you need to find another counselor. You have been in counseling for over a year now, there is something not right if you are not beginning to get better.

Drinking only makes things worse.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by J_9

Then you need to find another counselor. You have been in counseling for over a year now, there is something not right if you are not beginning to get better.

Drinking only makes things worse.

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Yeah very true, I'll end up drunk dialing and it hasn't been successful. I guess when ureally loved someone and cared for them, ALTHOUGH it wasn't reciprocated back, it hurts and bites like a poisness snake

Yep, I have been there, Captian Morgan and me got to be good friends getting over one before. But in the end I was just a depressed drunk instead of just being depressed. The no contact is really and honestly the only way to ever get over someone you have been really crazy over.
It is hard, for me, I actually sold my home and moved, just so I would not have contact, it worked but took time.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck

Yep, I have been there, Captian Morgan and me got to be good friends getting over one before. But in the end I was just a depressed drunk instead of just being depressed. The no contact is really and honestly the only way to ever get over someone you have been really crazy over.
It is hard, for me, I actually sold my home and moved, just so I would not have contact, it worked but took time.

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Wow, thanks for that Chuck. I was beginning to be that depressed drunk, even my close friends were scared of being around me. They said I've changed that now I'm just drinking I'm becoming more obnoxious when drunk. Last night I had to be carried home and put in the bed... I think what I FORGOT to leave out in this ENTIRE post was that...

My father that I was VERY close to died of cancer in June 2005 right in front of me. Not so pleasant seeing a parent take their last breath in front of you. My father begged and pleaded with me to spend time with him during his final days... and what did I DO? I spent time with this dumb #@#!@. My father would always say I wish you would spend time with me, laugh, watch a movie, and be around me, because I don't have much longer left. So basically, I would go to work, go hang out with her until 11PM, come home, tell my dad goodnight, and go to bed... The next day... same exact routine... Weekends?? Oh yes I was with her. While my father is dying and on an oxygen take. The ROCK of my LIFE. The father that was a Mother AND Father to me. The father who gave me anything I wanted so long as I mainted a high gpa in college... Now I c why... I didn't have time to grieve his death because I was AROUND HER 24-7... You know my mother kept TELLING me what the deal was with this girl when she first met her... and like an ignorant son, I didn't listen... But oh well, The earth still revolves, you can ONLY move forward and NOT look BACK... One lesson I learned from this:


"If you keep putting your hands in mess, you'll always get shi$@ results!"

By the way, this was the father that left the inheritance... funny, my brother still has all of his... and he tried to get me to give it to him to invest and watch it. He is 33. I am 27

My father passed about 18 months ago, and I was with him as he passed.
But for me I knew he was leaving a world of pain and suffering to a much better place, that is where my faith has helped me see the better in life. I think that Dad would have wanted me to be the one to say the final good bye to. Now back in my depressed days, I don't think I would have seen it that way.

Anyone going through a break up, I SUGGEST you download erykah badu "Green Eyes"... The song, if you are capable of digging deep, you see there are three parts:
Denial , Acknowledgement, Re-Lapse


Go to limewire download: Erykah Badu - Green Eyes


Here are the lyrics:

My eyes are green
Cause I eat a lot of vegetables
It don't have nothing to do with your new friend
My eyes are green
Cause I eat a lot of vegetables
It don't have nothing to do with your new friend

I don't care, I swear
I'm too through with you I am
You don't mean nothing to me
So be with your friend

My eyes are green
Cause I eat a lot of vegetables
It don't have nothing to do with your new friend
My eyes are green
Cause I eat a lot of vegetables
It don't have nothing to do with your new friend

I'm insecure
But I can't help it
My mind says move on
My heart let right
But I don't love you any more
I'm so insecure
Never knew that love did this
Ooh, ooh

I can't remember the last time I felt this way
About somebody
You've done something to my mind
And I can't control it
But I don't love you any more
Yes I do, I do
Loving you is wrong baby
Ooh, ooh

La-di-da
Dum-dee-da-da
Dum-didi-da-da-da
Dum-didi-da-dum-di

I'm so confused
You tried to trick me yeah
Ooh, ooh, oh
Never knew that love could hurt like this
Never thought I would but I got dissed
Makes me feel so sad and hurt inside
Feel embarrassed so I want to hide
Silly me I thought your love was true
Change my name to Silly E. Badu
Before I heal, it's going to be a while
I know it's going to be a while, chile
[ Lyrics accessible from Rare Lyrics: Over 176 000+ Free Song Lyrics! ]

[ad-libs]

I hope it's not too late
Too late, too late, too late
Feeling insecure
Your love has got me sore
I don't want no more

Oh, oh
It's too late, oh, oh ooh, ooh
I'm sorry I love you
At first when you was cool
You told me you loved me too, ooh
And then you lost your love
And then you lost your love
And then you lost your love
You wanted me to go away
But I can't go
See I can't leave, it's too late
I can't leave, it's too late
I can't leave, it's too late
I can't leave, it's too late

Just make love to me
Just one more time and then you'll see
I can't believe I made a desperate plea
Believe me yeah, ye-ah, no, oh
You see I can't leave, it's too late
I can't leave, it's too late
Don't you know, I can't leave, it's too late
Can't go no where, no
It's too late
It's too late
It's too late
It's too late yeah
Come on babe

Don't you want be strong with me
You told me we could have a family
Want to run to me when you're down and low
But times get tough and there you go
Out the door, you want to run again
Open your arms and you'll come back in
Want to run cause you say your afraid, afraid

Never knew what a friendship
Never knew how to really love
You can't be what I need you to
And I don't know why I f#@! With you

I know our love will never be the same
But I can't stand the growing pains

Day 6 of no contact... Man do those waves of emotion kill you, lol... sometimes you don't care about the person, then you miss them, then you don't care... its like a wave that occuirs, but I assume that's natural lol

Stay NC and in about 2 months you will start to feel a lot better.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by SAB123

Stay NC and in about 2 months you will start to feel alot better.

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It seems like the longer u don't contact the harder it is to resist the urge, although it SHOULD be the longer u don't contact, the easier it gets. Maybe its just the first few weeks its like that

The first 30 days SUCK. Flat out suck. They are horrible. Once you get past 30 days it gets better. Not easy but better.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by GlindaofOz

the first 30 days SUCK. Flat out suck. They are horrible. once you get past 30 days it gets better. Not easy but better.

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And glinda would u say this as far as the dumper as well? Ivfe been on both sides

I believe if the dumper is not prepared and dumps that person out of the blue he or she will have just as long of a time to heal. But usually the dumper has already prepared themselves before they dump you.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by SAB123

I believe if the dumper is not prepared and dumps that person out of the blue he or she will have just as long of a time to heal. But usually the dumper has already prepared themselves before they dump you.

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So SAB, I think u said it before, but whens the last time u heard from your ex?>

Quote:

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Originally Posted by DougE

So SAB, i think u said it before, but whens the last time u heard from your ex?>

---

I think it's been 4.5 months since we had our last conversation by e-mail, but it's been about a month since she has stopped driving by and riding bike past house or turning around when she see's me driving. But I still don't know if she is I heard she bought new car. So if she does drive by or see's me I don't really know. Which is better for me out of site out of mind. But it seems her son's step brothers and sister are coming over more often then in the beginning of breakup.

So remember whern I told you guys I changed my number, and that I haven't heard from her since Wednesday. Sometimes you just know folks like the back of your hand... she called my house phone from her house phone like 6 times last night, I didn't answer, It was VERY hard emotionally to do this. But it had to be DONE. I just think she is still trying to know what is going on in my life.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by DougE

...I think what i FORGOT to leave out in this ENTIRE post was that.....

my father that I was VERY close to died of cancer in June 2005 right in front of me. Not so pleasant seeing a parent take their last breath in front of you. My father begged and pleaded with me to spend time with him during his final days.....and what did I DO? I spent time with this dumb #@#!@. My father would always say i wish you would spend time with me, laugh, watch a movie, and be around me, because I dont have much longer left. So basically, I would go to work, go hang out with her until 11PM, come home, tell my dad goodnight, and go to bed.....The next day.....same exact routine......Weekends???? Oh yes i was with her. while my father is dying and on an oxygen take. The ROCK of my LIFE. The father that was a Mother AND Father to me. The father who gave me anything i wanted so long as i mainted a high gpa in college....Now i c why.....I didnt have time to grieve his death because i was AROUND HER 24-7....You know my mother kept TELLING me what the deal was with this girl when she first met her....and like an ignorant son, I didnt listen....But oh well, The earth still revolves, you can ONLY move forward and NOT look BACK.....One lesson I learned from this:

---

No comment.

Man I want to call her back to see what she wanted those 5 missed calls... Gotta stay strong

Probably the same thing she always calls for. Money and to see what you are up too.

CHANGE THE HOME PHONE NUMBER!!

I thought you were going to do that.

Did you change bank accounts yet? Have you put a flag out on your SSN?

Okie, with that said. I am unsubscribing to this post. This is #190, 19 PAGES and you still haven't a clue.

She's going to bring you down further than she has already. We have all tried, yet you don't seem to want to take much of the advice. It's obvious that we are wasting our time here.

I believe deep down he doesn't want to let go. 4.5 months into mine I didn't even with the advice here but their comes a point where you have to let go even if it hurts. She not for you dude she's a user and in time you will see this. Start following the advice here it helps.

Thanks SAB123 and J-9 and all others for your help during this difficult time

OK gUYS, I PROMISE THIS IS MY LAST POST.


I checked the voicemail on my house phone, and I left a lot of cds over her apt, so she wanted to know if I wanted to come get them, or have her mail them to me. Then she called back like 10 minutes ago leaving another message saying because I ignored her yesterday, she just put them in the mail and hope all is well. Take care



Now maybe that's what it was all about, nothing more, nothing less... ya think?

Yous guys silence answers the question LOL

Yeah, I'm unsubscribing from the thread.

We all need a shoulder sometimes... and this site is a little addictive, but at this point its all the same stuff over and over. You either believe it or not.

Time to maybe stand on your own a little. It sucks. It hurts. Its just the way it is until it isn't.

Good luck, I'm out.

Doug, when I came here 5 1/2 months ago I was like you kept talking about what she did why she did this. After a while no one would answer my questions on certain issues of my ex fiancé. You know why, because they new it was a dead issue.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by DougE

yous guys silence answers the question LOL

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She's really not the problem - you need to fix yourself.

Speculating on someone else's thoughts, and motivations is waste of time. Its better to examine your own thoughts and motivations, as you can at least learn about yourself.

Yeah very true, thanks guys for everything... last night was interesting... had sex with an ex I was with before this one... WOW WAS IT GREAT! LOL