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Originally Posted by jillygirl524

moving on does not mean there is no chance in the futcure, the only thing that worries me is if you guys get back together this summer and you then go threw the summer and school comes is she going to dump you to go back to the person she is when shes at shcool? also if its ment to be it will

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If I have much to do with her this summer at all, it will be merely friends. At this point, it is going to take me a long while to get over the idea of being thrown aside for someone else. That is a pretty serious fault I see in her character.

And Didi, I did study some. I have all day today to finish up :)

Im rambling again, but I figured id put some of my thoughts down.

Here it is Monday again, and suddenly any attempts of hers to contact me cease. While a week or two ago, I would have been upset, and felt like I was pushed aside, today all I can do is laugh to myself. Its pretty sad really, how someone can expect to act this way and get away with it. I'm not so angry at the situation, I just think its pathetic. I suppose someday karma will come around and she'll regret it.

Until then, ill keep up the "you've got to be kidding me" laugh :)

Take this all as a learning experience. Do some things for yourself. Get an exciting summer job, meet some new friends build up that self esteem of yours. Sounds like you are moving in the right direction. You may have been looking so hard at her that you may have missed someone looking at you.

Hi all,

Ill try to make this quick, but I'm a bit worried about my feelings today.

I just finished an exam, had to wake up nice and early for it. (Did great, if your wondering :)) What concerns me is that during the exam, I was having a hard time because my mind kept wandering to sad thoughts. I'd get sad about her not caring about me anymore, not ever thinking about me, being more upset about leaving her friends (and that jerk) than losing me. I know it seems like a step backward, but I mornings are usually hard, so I guess its sort of normal.

Anyway, the part that worried me is that when I was back in my room, I had a message from earlier that morning from her. All it said was "Drive safeeeeee", as I have a 3 hour drive home from school later today. I didn't respond, no reason to. What bugged me, is that after reading that I felt better :( I would HATE to think that the reason I'm feeling better is because I heard from her. Maybe subconsciously its making me think that she's thinknig about me, even though I shouldn't care?

Should I just be happy that I'm in a good mood, and stop thinking about it? :)

Block her for crying out loud!! :P

Every time she contacts you u go back to square one!

Hey I went through something very similar, but my problem was over a guy. The best thing you can do if that person is interested in someone else, then let them, you can still care about her and respect her feelings without being possessive. Try doing things with other friends thing that don't remind you of her and within time you'll feel a lot better.

You are still in the early stages of trying to work all of this out and accept that's it's over it in your head. These conflicting emotions of being fine one minute and all upset the next are very normal. I still think that you are kidding yourself if you think that you are OK being her "friend only" when you really want her back though. That doesn't work. Friendship with exes happen only when you are over him or her and vice versa. You are still struggling and you will go through these changing emotions not only daily, but probably hourly. One minute you will be angry and want to tell her off, the next you will be missing her terribly. We have all been there. It's just part of it. Just try to stay busy and not dwell on every little thing she does, go on with your life, and try to have a good summer.

It is really a good thing that you are in touch with your emotions, although that probably scares her a little bit. You don't have to stop caring about her, but you need to stop giving her so much power. The more in control you are of your own power, the more she will be attracted to you. On the inside you may need her desperately, and that is o.k. Don't fight it, but just stop showing her how desperate you are. Respect her need for space. Show her that you can give her time, without making her feel guilty. Don't follow her around or make her despise you. Give her time. She is young and unsure about what she wants. She obviously cares about you, but that doesn't mean she can give you what you need right now. Keep yourself busy, keep talking. Maybe write all the things down you want to say to her but can't. Be patient, love will endure all of this if it is meant to be. You can survive this and you will. Remember she will be lucky if she decides to be with you. See yourself as worthy and desirable. You are. She will see you that way too. Yes she really does have a space in her heart for you, but there aren't any guarantees in life. So, don't put all of your hopes and dreams on her. Focus on yourself and she may be more attracted to that! Hope this helps a little!

Thanks for all the responses...

Jiser, The message was on my phone, not my computer, so I can't really block it. Its not really affecting me so much, I think I might just be overanalyzing stupid things :)

SouthernBelle, Im not fooling myself into thinking I'm okay to be friends with her - I know I'm not capable of that now, and I'm not even trying. I always feel better during periods of not talking to her, so its pretty clear to me.

Basically what I needed to know is that the emotional swing is to be expected. Its odd how one night I can be angry and feel like telling her off, and the next morning I'm upset, and feeling sad again. SouthernBelle you nailed it on the head. Im just glad to know its normal. I guess just sticking it out for a little while is the best thing, it will always fade with time.

shatteredsoul, your advice about writing down my thoughts that I can't talk to her about is exactly what I do on here. That is probably the reason this thread is so damn long. I like to write these things down, beucase I feel like once I get them out of my head, I can stop thinking about them. This site is a great outlet for the emotions like that.

Thanks for the responses again. I don't want you to think I'm thinking about it, because I'm honestly not.. I was just startled by the big difference in emotions between the past few days and today - I wasn't prepared for it. It worried me that I wasn't making the progess I thought I was. There was no contact with her that caused this emotional swing (the message I got was after I was upset already).

Write on my friend, write on!! One thing I have noticed you are doing is passing on good advice to others on this forum, and I hope that continues.

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Originally Posted by talaniman

Write on my friend, write on!!! One thing I have noticed you are doing is passing on good advice to others on this forum, and I hope that continues.

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Thanks Tal, I was hoping I was somewhat on track!

I like writing advice because it makes me realize I know more than I think. Its funny how you can give other people advice, but you can't give it to yourself :)

Dude, you sound like you are at a point where I think I'm headed.. Obviously, it's harder to do than say, but let her go man. When she notices that you're not there anymore, she'll want you back.. The irony in the whole thing however is that they won't come back until you actually, truly let go... and once you do, you won't want them back... the vicious cycle. And what I am currently trying to avoid.

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Originally Posted by Biz

Dude, you sound like you are at a point where i think i'm headed.. Obviously, it's harder to do than say, but let her go man. When she notices that you're not there anymore, she'll want you back.. The irony in the whole thing however is that they won't come back until you actually, truly let go... and once you do, you won't want them back... the vicious cycle. And what I am currently trying to avoid.

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Its funny to look at me now after reading my story... isnt it? You read my advice, and now you know where I am. To be honest with you, I have let her go. I pretty much decided that last week sometime, but it doesn't mean I have totally let go yet. Its more a process than a decision I assume. I will tell you though, already, It would be quite tough for me to take her back... too much damage has been done.

Just from a little bit of experience. When someone keeps coming on and off again with maybe or thinking about it, they are just that waiting to see if something better comes along. This is what a lot of relationships are. One person is so in love while the other one is not sure. You wait, are miserable and they do what they want. If you have been in a relationship with her before and it didn't work, why do you think it will work now? Most of the time it does not, especially if she is not excited about being back in a relationship with you.

I learned the hard way, I fought until he finally decided to get back together. Believe me it was not worth it. Not any happier. Should have let him move on and me move on to someone that really wanted to be with me. Not just settled.

Spend time with friends, do things that you enjoy yourself and keep yourself open for someone that is ready to have a relationship with YOU.

Just my thoughts, hope it helps.

Yeah it helps. And I don't mean to jump into this, but damn, that's not what I want to hear...

Biz you and sypher are worlds apart from my view.

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Originally Posted by talaniman

Biz you and sypher are worlds apart from my view.

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I agree,

Biz - you are on the other side of this. You have the decision to make, like I told you in the PM. Im not sure how much the advice I have here will help, as it is more relative to moving on, while you need to make a decision.

The only link I see is between your feelings of her with someone else - though do you have any reason to believe that is happening, or only if you were to break up with her?

Stick to it sypher. You will go through lots of ups and downs. One minute angry, one minute happy, one minute sad. ITs all part of it.

Just don't go caving in and contacting her. I would like it if you could block her messages. They seem to have a negative affect on you and I don't think you need to read them. Just ensure you don't respond please!

Well, the first day of summer vacation is here. Ive got 5 more days off, then I start my job. Im looking forward to that, it should keep me busy :)

MY mind has been a bit on the negative side since I got home, maybe just because being home reminds me of my ex? Either way, I went over my friends last night, just hung out and watched TV. Today I'm going to see my other friend at school, play some tennis... who knows..

I'm not going to lie about being worried about this weekend/next week. My ex is done with school Friday, moving back home. I don't want to talk to her, nor do I want to hang out with her. I know I have the ability to ignore it, but I'm afraid ill slip if I know she's trying to get ahold of me.

Maybe I'm a moron, but for some reason, it seems like it would be nice to see her. Don't worry, I'm not going to, I'm just trying to plan my weekend now, so that I can be busy and not have to deal with a situation like that :)

Maybe this should be in a new thread, but I was wondering if anyone had any suggestions on meeting new people... I was also sort of shy id say, and I never really dated or tried to meet new people. I found my friends in school, and have stayed with them. Anyone have any suggestions?

Starting a new job will bring oppurtunities to meet new people. As in all relationships, go slow. A good time to work on that shyness. This is a great thread why start another? Its moving along nicely, and I think you should keep it going, with the help of your friends, of course.

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Originally Posted by talaniman

Starting a new job will bring oppurtunities to meet new people. As in all relationships, go slow. A good time to work on that shyness. This is a great thread why start another? Its moving along nicely, and I think you should keep it going, with the help of your friends, of course.

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Thanks Tal,

I know I'm not ready for anything romantic, but I must admit talking to women makes me feel a bit better. Im starting to see that there isn't anything wrong with me, and its just been my own issues the whole time. When I come out of my shell a little bit, say hi, or just smile at people, I get such a great response. Its really encouraging.

Ive also realized that part of the issues I have been having boils down to feeling like I will never feel the same way about someone again. After some thought, I realized, I had never tried to feel that way about someone before. She was my first, so obviously - she was my best. That fear is starting to leave me, and it is leaving me with a sense of excitement toward meeting new people :)