Originally Posted by
Cat1864
What you still seem to not understand is that everything in a relationship is interconnected.
When you only talk about what she does, you are only giving us half the problem and leaving out other clues that could point to a need for different advice. We are left trying to understand what is going on and running around in circles because you are focusing on one aspect.
You may have gotten past the frequency, but you are still focusing on the bed. You are still focusing on not wanting to be perceived as the less dominate person. You don't want to look weak or to feel like she is taking charge. It is all about you.
I asked if you see her as an equal. Instead of saying 'she is my equal or partner', your answer was "I am an equal to her..." That is how you see yourself, not her.
Your attitude in how you talk to her and the words you choose are as important as her responses. If you come across as expecting her to be subordinate to what you want, then she probably won't respond in a positive way. If you approach the discussion from a position of wanting to compromise and work with her, then she will probably open up more.
Being open to talking, listening, and compromise is not being weak or giving her the upper hand. It is being a partner.
As for starting the conversation, (when you are not in the bedroom or getting ready for bed) let her know you are curious about the teasing. Don't make it a confrontation. Just ask a very simple question.
On printing this out (or having it up) for her to read, it can be a way to start the conversation. It can also let her see how you feel without you having to say the words.
I really hope you can learn that inner strength is not being dominant all the time or being afraid of looking weak.