As you see the old thread was reopened and this update was added to it, and thanks for the update

I have been following your good advice to others so, I know your on the right path, just make a few adjustments to be less available, and you should really feel good about how you deal with those messages.

Thanks... I figured you would pop this back on the old thread.
I Appreciate that you feel my advice to others has been good. Just trying to help out :)

I know I owe her nothing but from what I have gathered from majority of the break/break up posts on this site the majority of them involve the person doing the break-up getting involved with someone fairly soon after, which shows that it really is over and that they have moved on from the person they cut ties with.

What of the scenarios when the person doing the break up doesn't doesn't get involved with someone else or has no one that they have been talking to while making the decision about the break? Obviously the fact that they don't want to work it out together and chose a break says enough at times too.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by dwidrick

the person doing the break-up getting involved with someone fairly soon after

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And sometimes, the dumper has gotten involved with someone new BEFORE the break-up with the old boyfriend or girlfriend.

To me, it doesn't matter why I got dumped, all that would matter is what actions I took for myself, and for me its to leave them alone, and do my own thing without them. Plain, and simple.

Yes I know that can also be the case. I was just curious on everyone's opinion as I see a lot of these threads often have the person initiating the break-up getting close with someone right after or already are close with someone before the break-up.

Just haven't seen many where they actually stay single for a while after initiating a break-up haha

Agreed... just seeking some outside opinions on it :)

Hello dwidrick,

I read all the pages and I like the fact how you've moved on. How she's not constantly on your mind and how you express your feelings. You said that my actions are inspirational, but atm you've moved on a lot more than me. My ex girlfriend is on my mind almost 24/7.

How is the NC going?

Goodluck and it indeed seems that the majority of the breakers are involved with someone else very soon haha!

The no contact is good at this point. She occasionally messages me just to see what's up... Which I am still unable to stop myself from responding. Her family all loved me so they tend to ask about me still which I think makes it hard for her haha.

Thank you for the input. Glad to hear it :)

Unable??

Dwid-fingers slapped!!

No such thing as ''unable''...

Haha yes amicon you are correct. As usual :)

Consider your fingers un-slapped!

Here's a cyberhug >< instead!

Haha thank you... now all is well :)

So just a little update to the saga...

My ex showed up at my baseball games this past weekend. Wasn't planned, I had given her a schedule way in the beginning of the summer and never really expected anything to come from that. This kind of caught me off guard since I really haven't seen her in the last two months. Obviously just seeing her there brought back some of my physical attraction to her but emotionally I felt pretty much indifferent.

I have been doing great the last couple of months and any communication she has tried to start with me has not bothered me at all because at the end of the day I always new that she cared for me but did not want to be with me and couldn't be with me unless she got her life together and was happy with it and herself. I have come to grips with that and was and still am completely fine with that.

Well this was completely different on this day. She wanted to talk after the game so of course I allowed it (wrists need to be re-slapped). Long story short she ended up telling me that she no longer believed what she had been telling me a couple months ago. She feels that she is getting closer to her goals but doesn't want to get there without me. She wants get where she wants to be together and not by herself.

She didn't want to tell me this but felt she had to get it off her chest so that I knew how she felt. It caught me off guard as she has not had that outlook for the previous months. But at the same time it didn't hit me as hard as I thought... I have been focusing on moving on for the past few months so I really haven't had an issue not thinking about her because I knew she wanted to get her things together and I no longer wanted to wait around for that, and it was basically out of my hands regardless.

Why does life have to be so crazy haha.

And?

How does that r e a l l y make you feel?

(Never mind the slapping!)

I have wanted to hear her say that for the longest time... but in the couple months that I was finally able to let go I found myself knowing that I would be fine without her. Now I am unsure/afraid to want to go back to it. I know I don't want to just run back to her... its not that easy to just forget everything that I have gone through in these past months.

I actually feel kind of lost at this point.

Take time out and really make your mind up what you want to do.

You do know that you can be happy without her...

Problem is I have been talking with a new girl and let her in a little bit instead of using my head and telling her that I shouldn't. I never expected my ex to do what she did and really thought we were over and she would move on.
I will learn from this but I think someone may inevitably get hurt now and that is not what I wanted.

Perhaps I should tell this girl (who knows about my ex issue) that we should stop talking for a bit so I can clear my head.

Problem is yes-someone is going to get hurt.

Rebounding is not a good move-as the other person is likely to have expectations-never mind what they s a y.

It's never a good thing to become involved with someone when one has not healed 100 % from a breakup.:-(

I know... But I really did feel like I was over my ex. After those first couple months went by I never thought she would say what she told me this weekend and truly believed it was over. I barely thought of her and never was sad thinking of her or anything like that. So in my mind I felt I was OK to move on and talk with someone else.
Obviously if I am talking about it here that may not be the case :(