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-   -   Girlfriend wants a break. I need some help. (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=548033)

  • Apr 17, 2011, 06:53 AM
    Cat1864

    Nuke, I am going to be blunt. Her world does not revolve around your feelings. She is not 'spitting in your face' or disrespecting you or anything else that has anything to do with you and/or your past relationship. She is living her life. You need to live your own.

    What you are experiencing is a part of breaking up. It would probably happen whether she waited one week or two years to date again. It is a reminder that she isn't yours anymore. It is proof that the relationship is definitely over and it is time to let go.

    You will be a lot happier if you don't think of moving forward as a denial of the past. It isn't. Moving on isn't forgetting the past. It is accepting that it is the past. You've got today and the promise of a great tomorrow ahead of you.

    You hit a low point on roller coaster of healing. Instead of dwelling on the pain and betrayal get out and do something that helps you feel better like meet up with friends, go fishing, exercise, garden, etc. In other words, get out of her life and get involved in your own.
  • Apr 17, 2011, 07:49 AM
    talaniman

    Dumpers always seem to move on faster than the ones who get dumped. They have had longer to deal with what they want and are more ready to get what they want.

    And for all your saying you are over it, you still take whatever she does personally when its not about you, but about her. What, should she be sitting waiting on you to be able to be happy and enjoy doing your thing?

    Sorry, doesn't work that way, and you better figure out why you are still upset with what she is doing, and not being indifferent? You can get as carried away by your feelings as you want to, but you can't change what she is doing. Or you can accept she has moved on faster than you, just because she is ready, and you are not.

    Bottom line is it doesn't matter what she is doing about her life, not one bit. What matters is what you are doing about yours. So focus, and stop being distracted, even for a second with what she does.

    Yeah you would like to think she misses you, but the question is, why are you even looking at what she is doing? Why do you allow this to bother you? Maybe you have not moved as far as you say, and need to refocus, and get busier with what you want for yourself.

    Those dang gone feelings are still in your way, YOURS, not hers.
  • Apr 28, 2011, 10:39 PM
    NukeNC

    Okay, now throughout this thread I've heard it all. I really have. But, words on a computer screen can't really fix anything. I'm sick of lying to myself and saying I'm okay. I'm better, but I'm not okay.

    I'm in love with her okay? There I said it, shock shock surprise surprise. I've tried to tell myself that I only miss the sex, or something stupid like that. Nope, I am in love with her and I can't over her. I hate being like this, because unlike before... I don't want her back. I want to forget her. I don't want to feel this way. I wish those memories didn't exsist. I feel... really lost.

    2 months. I don't know... I guess it just hit me, that I'll never be able to hold her in my arms again, or reach out to touch her, smell her perfume... anything like that. Its over.
  • Apr 29, 2011, 01:36 AM
    amicon

    Time will fix this,Nuke,and you are better.

    Having a bad day is normal and the memories will always be there-only with time,they'll fade to a bittersweet little itch that won't need scratching.

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