Please consider tax issues... If he gets in trouble with taxing authorities, any money in any account with his name on it is fair game for them to levy against. Even married couples should probably have a separate account with some emergency money in it, (with statements coming to the home that either spouse can look at) just because you never know what can go wrong at the bank with the joint account.

With joint accounts, an audit of either of your tax returns could draw the other into the audit.

Are you living in a state where common law marriage is recognized? By living together, and comingling funds, you may have created a common law marriage with him. It is worth checking into.

The control issues are the more serious issue though than the legal and financial issues. Him screaming to try and force his way is not a healthy way of dealing with things.

Does anyone ever accuse him of "not being rational" about things?

It's not just taxes - funds in joint names can be seized for the debt of the other party.

Hi OP, please take note of the above 2 posts. Be prepared for any outcome, and especially any that will effect your financial security and credit rating.

So whilst you may think it OK for him to do as he pleases with his money, you're in this together, and that could prove detrimental for you.

You've both still got financial responsibilities and agreements to abide by.

The financial risks and the control issue should cause a close evaluation of the relationship.
Give this entire matter a lot of thought.

I agree martinizing2 This whole relationship is not ideal.

Threads merged


Hello I have been living with my boyfriend for over 3 years and we rent 2 bedrooms and a bathroom. We sleep in the big room an there is a small room at the end of the hall with our closets for our clothes and other junk.

For 2 years his friend has been coming over. His friend lives on campus and maybe once a month and on all holidays he comes over and spends his vacation at our room. I do not like people coming over my house. I like being myself and enjoy my privacy and I can't do that if people are over the house. My boyfriend works and pays rent as well as I do so I can't really tell him anything but I'm fed up now.

The friend has recently started coming over with his girlfriend and for some reason she has been using an entire roll of toilet tissue in one day! So far no one has told her anything but apparently I am mean and do not know how to talk to people, but I will be saying something next time she comes. I actually don't want her coming over at all.

She sits and lays on my bed because she sees her boyfriend do it but I don't want to be mean. How do I get these people NOT to come over? Or am I just being ridiculous? I don't mind company, I just don't want them sleeping over having sex on my couch that I occasionally sit on! Also I don't have the funds to supply toilet tissue for people and food. The friend buys his own food but sometimes she is hungry an my boyfriend loves to offer. Helppp

Not sure why this is posted in the marriage section...

But anyway, this is something you and your boyfriend should discuss and work something out together on. If it's both of you working and paying rent then you absolutely do have a say in this and not only can you say something to him, you should. I guess I can see his friend coming and staying during the holidays, if he lives someplace where the campus is closed and residents can't stay on there for that time and he has no where to go. But only if you and your boyfriend can work out some house rules beforehand that you are comfortable with. I don't see why he should need to stay with you guys once a month at all. If he's staying that frequently I'd ask him to either leave or start chipping in for utility and paying rent for his time there. Especially if his girlfriend is over too.

If I were in your shoes, I would first speak to your boyfriend. See if you two can reach a compromise and have him speak with his friend. If that doesn't work, I would speak to the friend alone, and leave the girlfriend out of it for now. Make it clear what your house rules and expectations are and how long he is welcome there and when. Address the issues you ave with his girlfriend being around too.

It wouldn't be mean to expect your guests to behave like good guests, and that's something your boyfriend should be told about. Or maybe you nicely ask them to bring their own toilet paper, and keep their butts of your bed. Talk about it.

Your boyfriend pays rent but so do you. This is your place too so you have every right to say something.
It is rude of them to have sex on your couch and her to sit on your bed. She has no business in your room.
This is not proper guest etiquette and because they are there so often, they are no longer guest. This is no way for anyone to behave in someone's place.

This thread is 6 months old. Positive Parent is no longer posting is she?

I see what happened, the merge wasn't showing up in the GO skin.

And with the different layout and the date Jan 27 , Jul 27 too much for the old guy, I'm headed off for a shot of single malt... or two shots... not malts... unless I have any of the 21 yr old chivas , then I'll accept a blend.

Is anyone else on GO? That may make a difference. I'll switch over and see.