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-   -   Alcohol & Cheating.Confused (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=451183)

  • Mar 3, 2010, 10:52 PM
    vanheart

    Ahhh.

    Thanks, that's exactly what I was looking for.
    Make-up, break-up, toxic. 6.5 years. Way before this incident last year.

    Glad you finally know that.

    What I meant was being aware, communicating and taking responsibility.

    What was the question again? About her text flirting?
  • Mar 3, 2010, 10:54 PM
    confused580
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by vanheart View Post
    Ahhh.

    Thanks, thats exactly what I was looking for.
    Make-up, break-up, toxic. 6.5 years. way before this incident last year.

    Glad you finally know that.

    What i meant was being aware, communicating and taking responsibility.

    What was the question again? About her text flirting?

    I shouldve left a while ago... the text flirting is what did it in
  • Mar 3, 2010, 10:55 PM
    confused580

    I hope that you weren't implying that she was texting like that, because I wasn't communicating with her or taking responsibility... Im hoping you meant, I shouldve have ended this a while ago
  • Mar 3, 2010, 11:02 PM
    vanheart

    Yup,

    That's what Im getting at. YOU, YOU and YOU.

    Not her.

    Listen man. I not trying to egg you, or bust your nuts, just help you.

    If we truly understand and love ourselves, be aware. We can rule as individuals. That may mean doing some uncomfortable digging about yourself. It seems that its time. Do it now before you waste any more time.

    This is your life after all. Don't you want it to be cool?

    You can lay back & just let things unfold. You are the one in control of your existence.
  • Mar 3, 2010, 11:02 PM
    Kitkat22
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by confused580 View Post
    I didnt do it to get back at my g/f....I was just in the mood and it happened.....I dont feel regret over that


    Well try to stay out of the "MOOD" until you get over this girlfriend. Sleeping around isn't the answer. How could you sleep with someone you don't love? That is not the answer. I'm being honest with my answers. Either find something to take your mind off her (NOT SEX WITH A PERSON YOU HAVE NO FEELINGS FOR) or spend the rest of your life counting the days since you last saw her or texted her or how many hours and minutes it's been since your breakup.
  • Mar 3, 2010, 11:04 PM
    confused580
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by vanheart View Post
    Yup,

    Thats what Im getting at. YOU, YOU and YOU.

    Not her.

    Listen man. I not trying to egg you, or bust your nuts, just help you.

    If we truly understand and love ourselves, be aware. We can rule as individuals. That may mean doing some uncomfortable digging about yourself. It seems that its time. Do it now before you waste any more time.

    This is your life afterall. Dont you want it to be cool?

    You can lay back & just let things unfold. You are the one in control of your existence.



    My bad, I thought you were saying she was doing these things like texting, as if it were MY fault for her texting... thats what I was about to be angry at. But as you stated, that's not what you meant
  • Mar 3, 2010, 11:06 PM
    Kitkat22
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by vanheart View Post
    Yup,

    Thats what Im getting at. YOU, YOU and YOU.

    Not her.

    Listen man. I not trying to egg you, or bust your nuts, just help you.

    If we truly understand and love ourselves, be aware. We can rule as individuals. That may mean doing some uncomfortable digging about yourself. It seems that its time. Do it now before you waste any more time.

    This is your life afterall. Dont you want it to be cool?

    You can lay back & just let things unfold. You are the one in control of your existence.

    Wish I hadn't quit smoking.
  • Mar 3, 2010, 11:07 PM
    confused580
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Kitkat22 View Post
    Wish I hadn't quit smoking.



    Im just saying Kitkat, I thought he was implying that her actions were a result of something I did wrong. That's what I thought he was getting at
  • Mar 3, 2010, 11:08 PM
    vanheart

    What?

    Are you tripping? You don't listen. You got it right the first time.

    Jeeez Louise.
  • Mar 3, 2010, 11:10 PM
    confused580
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by vanheart View Post
    What?

    Are you tripping? You dont listen. You got it right the first time.

    Jeeez Louise.

    No, I DO listen, I'm tripping? Are you really blaming her text messaging incident on me?? Are u saying its because I did HER Bad?! Is that what you meant by you, you, you?
  • Mar 3, 2010, 11:12 PM
    confused580

    I was simply telling kitkat that I was mad at first, because I THOUGHT you were SAYing that her crazy act with those messages, was all because of me!

    That's like your g/f cheating on you, and I tell you, its all your fault... thats how I took it... I was telling Kitkat, that is how I took it, but you cleared it up and said that is NOT what you were saying... these posts must be lagged
  • Mar 3, 2010, 11:18 PM
    Kitkat22
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by confused580 View Post
    Im just saying Kitkat, I thought he was implying that her actions were a result of something I did wrong. Thats what I thought he was getting at


    I didn't see anything confusing in Vans post. Since you brought it up, are you blameless in this relationship? I think booze has been a huge factor in your relationship and I mean for both of you.
  • Mar 3, 2010, 11:22 PM
    confused580

    You can not sit up here and tell me that she did these things because it was my fault... Im not saying I was blameless, but I would NEVER say to you if your boyfriend cheated on you, it was YOUR FAULT... I mean c'mon now. Like I said earlier, people do things like that because they WANT to...

    There does not have to be ANY MOTIVE, or something LACKING for them to want to do that. You cannot CONTROL someone from something like that.

    So please stop acting as if I am the blame for her sending those erotic texts
  • Mar 3, 2010, 11:25 PM
    vanheart

    You are absolutely right.

    You can only control yourself and your decisions.

    What's your next step?
  • Mar 3, 2010, 11:27 PM
    confused580
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by vanheart View Post
    You are absolutely right.

    You can only control yourself and your decisions.

    Whats your next step?


    To continue NC. I am moving on with my life... I just don't think its appropriate for you to say, it was my fault as if I was the REASON she did what she did. As if I didn't talk to her enough, etc
  • Mar 3, 2010, 11:33 PM
    Kitkat22
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by confused580 View Post
    to continue NC. I am moving on with my life....I just dont think its appropriate for you to say, it was my fault as if I was the REASON she did what she did. As if i didnt talk to her enough, etc

    I don't think anyone asked that question except me. I'm not speaking of the text messages. What I am asking is this. In all the time you were together you never cheated or lied or maybe had a few too many and maybe copped an attitude with her?
  • Mar 3, 2010, 11:34 PM
    confused580
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Kitkat22 View Post
    I don't think anyone asked that question except me. I'm not speaking of the text messages. What I am asking is this. in all the time you were together you never cheated or lied or maybe had a few too many and maybe copped an attitude with her?

    Lied yes, cheated no
  • Mar 3, 2010, 11:35 PM
    vanheart

    I never said that.

    Just am gathering that you don't really want to take any responsibility, then or now.

    There's no blame here on you or her.

    Maybe you should look at why you getting your feathers in a ruffle.

    While you are on NC. Start studying yourself.
  • Mar 3, 2010, 11:36 PM
    Kitkat22
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by confused580 View Post
    lied yes, cheated no


    What did you lie about and be honest.
  • Mar 3, 2010, 11:37 PM
    confused580
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by vanheart View Post
    I never said that.

    Just am gathering that you dont really want to take any responsibility, then or now.

    Theres no blame here on you or her.

    Maybe you should look at why you getting your feathers in a ruffle.

    While you are on NC. Start studying yourself.



    Im just aggitated. I know it takes two hands to clap, and I'm not saying I don't responsibility. I ended it because of the Texts, because I didn't trust that. Without trust, there is no relationship

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