Ask Me Help Desk - She wants a break! Lost, confused, sad!

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i don't see why i shouldn't at least have convos with her short ones though! I Won't contact her only when she tries to talk to me is when I think I should

Its real simple, you will be miserable with her in your life and she isn't your g/f. You will take her nice friendly gestures as a sign there is still a chance ,and waste your time waiting for her to change her mind and take you back.

Now, if your really over her, then you won't mind seeing her eventually having to make more time for a new guy, and less time for you.

Be real with yourself, can you do that?

This is going to be long but today we were coincedently at the same game and she was with her friends and I was with mine and she saw me and I didn't see her but when I got home she called and texted and wrote this to me((((((.hi .
So as of what I saw your doing well you look good just how you did when I first meet you!
You know I read your blogs and if I somehwat was the reason you wrote them I'm soory.
You're a great writer though..
I really just didn't think it be like this I know I was an when you tried to talk to me but I just didn't want to talk about the same thingg.
No one influenced me to do anything.
I made my own decisions and I know I prettymuch made it for both of us but its how I said I cared about me first I wasn't happy I didn't want to fake my happinees .
Like you said someone will appreciate everything you did for me even more but TRUST me when I say this I CARED & still do I appreciate it and everythingg.
I didn't think we would act like children llike how we did today yea I shouldve gone up too you but I didn't want to make it akward.
I called you on the day that I found out I had lost a friend and texted you but you didn't call me nor text me back now I know I deserved it but I needed to tell you that I was soory and that I loved you and to not argue anymore or be mad or hate each other but to be FRIENDS. Because I lost a friend when I thought he was OK seeing someone one day and then the next him not being there.. it sucks so bad and I don't want to loose you completely because you were the first guy I was in love with the first one I did many things with and I don't want to pretend like none of it happeneed.
I apologize for my past actions & I hope we can be friends or to the point were if we see each other we can say hi and not ask our friends where one another is or if werelooking cause we both were doing that .
You know me and I know you very well or at least I think I do so do what you please after this I trulyy care about you and like I told your sister I do think about you .
There is no one else I'm trying to talk too or get with.
I'm simply just living life to the fullest because after this past weekend the one person who always did live that way lost his life and I want to be just like himm and happy all the time .
&i can't be like that knowing someone is upset at me or I am not atpeice with you because I want to be that's all I ever wanted and wantt.

Write back . Call me . Text me . Which ever one your heart tells you to do follow your heart not what your head tells you to do because feelings come first and are the best ones to go with whether it be to not ever talk to me again or to do the complete oppositee .

Iloveyou with all my heart &wish you the best in life because I know that if you put your heart and soul into it you will accompplish whatever it is your destined to dooo!

<3 MELYY )))

You still haven't answered my question.

Very sweet words from an ex... however, this does nothing for you except RE-ENFORCE the idea of a FRIEND. And this mate, is something you want to stay away from for a long while. Staying close will not let you move on with your life and find the happiness in yourself. If she doesn't get this well it's her problem. She can deal with it her own way--she says "i made my own decisions and i know i prettymuch made it for both of us" and there's your answer she took a decision to get her happiness back... you do the same and if it involves removing her from your life then DO IT! For YOU! Its YOUR decision. Once you take it, stick with it. Good luck and be strong.

- expat

If there are any feelings that you are still holding on to for this female, friendship will not work. Only when you feel nothing (romatically speaking) will you be able to possibly foster a friendship with her. This may never happen, as many people can not be friends with their ex for that reason alone. Not because they don't want to, but because their heart and their head can't agree on where to place this "friend".

Well she wants to talk in person so I agreed we will most likely talk tomorrow she will say everything she has to say and I will say everything I have to say as well. Then we will go from there I'm not going to beg her back or anything but if she says she does not want to ever get back together then I will have to erase her from my life. I prepared for the worst more then the best. Even though there is a slight chance we could get back I'm not getting my hopes up.

One more thing if this helps she is (16 turning 17) I am 18. It just seems like she knows everything already when she doesn't its a lot different when you get out of high school I'm in college now and I learned the hard way and I don't want her to make mistakes.

Read what you just wrote 10 times before going to the meeting, OK?

You are not going to beg. And if she doesn't want to go back together, erase her from your life.

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Originally Posted by ImTotallyLost

Read what you just wrote 10 times before going to the meeting, OK?

You are not going to beg. And if she doesn't want to go back together, erase her from your life.

Lol that's exactly what I'm going to do. I still have feelings for her obviously but I cannot be a friend because I can't sit back and constantly keep thinking about her if she is with another guy or if she is doing fine so I'm going to have to erase her from my life as painfull as it will be for a little while it will have to be done if I know for a fact she does not want to get back together.

We talk tomorrow ( If she can she will be at a funeral and when she gets out she said we would) so I will keep you posted!

Any more advice before tomorrow?
THe day we could try to fix things or the day I erase her from my life...

After a funeral? Dude. I think it's a bad idea. I really think it's a bad idea. Can't you call it off? There's a good chance she'll be very emotional after it. I don't know...

I wouldn't do it , too many mixed emotions are involved and it could go either way.

So I should put it on hold for another day like Saturday?

You should put it on hold indefinitely, but if you need to talk to her, another day would be better. She will still be emotional, but not as bad as she would be right after a funeral.

I hope you get closure, and a fair warning, if she comes back, which I seriously doubt, things will be very different. She will be different.

Just me I would have let her have enough space for the emotional dust to settle for you both as she is mourning and your still in shock and have a lot of false hope built up.

I do question your decision making when it comes to her, and this relationship.

After a funeral would be a bad idea, too many emotions can be going on. Put it on hold, and make sure this is what YOU want. Remember, she isn't who she used to be and your not who you used to be, it might be a waste of time trying it again

I just caled her and asked if we could do it another day because I don't want to see her all sad and everything especially right after a funeral she said no I will be fine we will talk later today. So I guess she wants to do it today I will let you all know what happens

Thanks!

She wants to meet up at 3

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Originally Posted by JTS31708

she wants to meet up at 3

Try not to wear your heart on your sleeve,it's a good way to have it torn apart.

Perfect answer art, don't let your feelings show to easily. Life is like a poker game, don't show your cards until you know you can win.