Ask Me Help Desk - I want my girlfriend to be pretty

Consider how hard it is to change yourself and you'll understand what little chance you have in trying to change others.

Quote:

Originally Posted by TrueFaith

Ok first off guys and gals. dont get angry with me

im not shallow, im trying to break the habit of that! because i found out that 90% of the time people im normally with are insanely hot but insane!

ok so im a 26 year old. attritive guy. i always went with the most popular girls in school and the best looking girls in the work place. it was my thing. envy of my friends. but i found that this life is pretty empty

anyway if had some fun times as of late.

and im with this new girl. she chased me a lot. so i thought why not ill give it a go. and i think i found someone i can really connect with on a personal level. and i must say i really really like it.

but she knows the type of girls iv been with and. she goes why are you with me when you could be with the .. Pretty.. types. i told her that its not that important.

now she isnt ugly by no sens. but she isnt that typ of girl i would go for. now before people start saying dont be with her then if you dont think she is pretty or your type, im trying to break a habbit, and i like being with this girl..
:) but heres the thing.
is it wrong to want to make her more pretty? like have her workout in the gym with me. and get ya hair done etc?

she knows what im like. vain and shallow but i am trying to change i dont think someone who is like that. would be on a site like this. :)

do you think this is wrong?

as i said girls and guys dont get to angry with me about this post. it shows im growing up and looking for something more than just a hot chick.

Regards

I'm going to be honest with you I too have been in this situation and you can't force yourself to be attracted to someone. If everything besides the physical is great then you need to step back out of the situation and ask yourself these questions.1.) Am I physically attracted to her? 2.) Am I only worried about what others think, but otherwise content? If you said no to 1 and yes to do then maybe you need a relationship overhaul. This girl may be better as a friend. It may seem shallow but what other than the physical connection differentiates friend from girlfriend? She may have this wonderful personality but if you aren't in love with her and have doubts because of the lack of attraction maybe it's time to cut her loose and stop leading her on. If you are attracted to her but are only afraid of what other people are thinking like why is he walking his dog without a leash... oh man I think that's actually just his girl... then get over it! All that truly matters is what you think when deciding your life.

You need to get a life man.. no offence. Your trying to get your girlfriend into a really really hot girlfriend... you say that you can really connect with her... isn't that more important? Even though she might not have the looks, you can still talk to her. Would you rather have a girlfriend who has little looks but you can connect with OR a hot girlfriend who you can't connect with? You enjoy spending time with her and I think that maybe you should start appreciating her more for who she is. By the sounds of it, when she asks you why your not with the 'pretty girls', you could be lowering her self esteem. no. it is certaintly not good that you want her to change because she's not up to your standards. Your relationship isn't going to go no where if you sit down and wish she was hotter, instead, spend more time with her and be grateful for who she is. I'm not angry at your question but you do need to see the wrong in what your thinking (aka- making her look hotter)

You really remind me of my ex-bf... Lol, Everything you are (meaning your full of yourself) is exacly the reasn I broke up with him too.

And yeah, your proly right, you can get all the attractive girls, but it's not because they love you. They love the way you look... Is that really all you want out of life, never to have smeone who actually loves the you, not the image of you?

And wanting to change your girlfriend to meet your standards of how you want her to look is disgusting and it shows you don't love her at all, if you did, it wouldn't matter hw she looked...

But too, this is all my opions. They can be different with everyone.

Quote:

Originally Posted by TrueFaith

Ok first off guys and gals. dont get angry with me

im not shallow, im trying to break the habit of that! because i found out that 90% of the time people im normally with are insanely hot but insane!

ok so im a 26 year old. attritive guy. i always went with the most popular girls in school and the best looking girls in the work place. it was my thing. envy of my friends. but i found that this life is pretty empty

anyway if had some fun times as of late.

and im with this new girl. she chased me a lot. so i thought why not ill give it a go. and i think i found someone i can really connect with on a personal level. and i must say i really really like it.

but she knows the type of girls iv been with and. she goes why are you with me when you could be with the .. Pretty.. types. i told her that its not that important.

now she isnt ugly by no sens. but she isnt that typ of girl i would go for. now before people start saying dont be with her then if you dont think she is pretty or your type, im trying to break a habbit, and i like being with this girl..
:) but heres the thing.
is it wrong to want to make her more pretty? like have her workout in the gym with me. and get ya hair done etc?

she knows what im like. vain and shallow but i am trying to change i dont think someone who is like that. would be on a site like this. :)

do you think this is wrong?

as i said girls and guys dont get to angry with me about this post. it shows im growing up and looking for something more than just a hot chick.

Regards

How about this. Since you have spent so much time being absorbed with women for superficial reasons don't you take a break from that and work on the much-needed edits in your spelling, syntax and grammar? Maybe that will distract you for a while and help you improve other areas since a truly beautiful person is well-rounded.

I think he's done posting guys, he said his girl is happy, and they are happy but...

I still want to see a PIC! I think it would be a great ending to the post. SHOW your hotness for all to see!. lol
I meet guys like you all the time & trust me they are not shy about posting what they look like.
So cmon; We're waiting...

Yes it is wrong to ask her to be more pretty. Why? Because you are doing it for entirely the wrong reasons. You are trying to 'tweak' this poor girl into your ideal by getting her to adjust herself to your liking. You are not telling her to make herself prettier so she can feel better about herself. You are doing it so you can feel better about her!

Perhaps you should invest some of your energy into making a sincere connection with someone, rather than your vanity. It sounds to me that vanity takes precedence in your life, above all else.

Oh and by the way, you really are terribly shallow.