Ask Me Help Desk - Rebound Boyfriend

And you know what I find funny... she calls her new boyfriend all the pet names she called me like babe, babie, cutie, sweetie, hun, baby boy. I find it pathetic because she is with him because she can't stand on her own two feet. So it is nothing but a rebound guy! Doesn't matter how long it lasts, that's all he is. And eventually I am going to come back into the picture and we will love each other again. For now I wish her the best of luck and on with my life.

Wow... guess what? You are no where near healthy enough to contact her. She is "pathetic" and "cant stand on her own two feet...

You are a complete jerk. You need to stay far, far away from her since you seem to be the one who is "cant stand on her own two feet...

You are a complete jerk. You need to stay far, far away from her since you seem to be the one who is " and "cannot stand on their own two feet" and "babe" it doesn't mean I'm carrying it over its just the only term of endearment I use most people are like that.

I never said she was pathetic, the situation is... she is only with him to feel better about her self and I think good for her. I want her to be happy not miserable.

How do you know? The bed has been made you got to lie in it and face the music! Don't be so jealous. Concentrate on you and your life not anyone else's.

I'm not really jealous... just hurt... and I am def. no jerk. My next girlfriend whether it is her or not I plan to cherish and love and appreciate like there is no tomorrow.

What should I do?

I know now that I have to move on and get over my ex. Does anyone have any tips on how to keep busy, what to do, what not to do? How to deal with it?

If you want to keep busy I am sure there is a local food bank in your area, meals on wheels or any other charitable organization could use a kind and lovly soul like yourself to lend a hand

Good answer above! It is very important to be involved in something with people in order to better help with taking your mind off your ex.

I have done that, I am in a school club, but I can't stop thinking about her! Time will take that away, but how long?

Hey, life chucks real bad stuff at us at times. But life isin't easy, change is what its all about. The sooner you realize this the better. You're the only one who can change your present and future. Its real hard to get up sometimes and face the day but do you really want to waste anymore time?

For a start you could join the gym, or go for a run. Plan some trips away, do something fun, go see your fav band. If your having problems sleeping etc try Valerian, st.john's wort, 5-htp - Also these may help with mild depression. After a while of keeping busy your realize you have more memories of after your ex than with. Your wake up one day and you won't think of it all. Ill post a list of things you could try in abit. Ah ha here we go (it applies to both sex) :

I got a mix of some of my posts people liked, hope it helps? I can say to you I have had contact with my ex and it has knocked me back a hell of a lot, so stay no contact for your own benefit. You only have one life so live it for yourself:I think its time to accept the harsh truth that its over and start the transition to single life. Its hard but

Whatever doesn't kill us makes us stronger right? More wary in the future and aware what we are looking for in a

Relationship and a person.

Treat your relationship as a life experience, you might not be able to treasure the memories you had right now but

One day you will. Do not regret but learn and move on, as someone much better is just around the next corner.

You must try follow these: (be strong)

1) Abide by no contact, ignorance is bliss so don't go near the 'grape vine'
2) Work on yourself entirely - hobbies, work, gym
3) Ever wanted to do something in your life? Nows the time
4) Spend more time with your friends and family and renew old social ties
5) Box every memory away and stay away from your fav songs for now - when you can look at it without feeling ill -

Ur halfway there!
6) Time does heal :P It just takes a god dam while, but don't mope at home, go out, party, exercise - helps a hell

Of a lot

You don't need anyone to be happy.

The best revenge is to be happy yourself :]

Forgive and move on.

Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment.

Pay no attention to the faults of others,
Things done or left undone by others.
Consider only what by oneself is done or left undone.

Let us rise up and be thankful, for if we didn't learn a lot today, at least we learned a little, and if we didn't

Learn a little, at least we didn't get sick, and if we got sick, at least we didn't die; so, let us all be

Thankful.

You got to accept it. Delete everything and keep yourself busy. Here are things you can do right now:

1) Delete all his contact details + block him
2) Have a hot bath with nice scents
3) Listen to some of your fav music
4) Read a book - maybe about love/self improvement or anything
5) Watch a film
6) Go out and party
7) Spend more time with your friends and family
8) Have a good laugh + watch a comedy
9) Go out for a drive with your best friends - put all the windows down and put on some loud music and SING - I
Love doing this
10) Don't SIT AROUND AND MOPE
11) Get out of the house - Go for a walk, anything
12) Join the gym + workout + have a sauna
13) Book a holiday
14) Try new things - meet new people, sign up for a course
15) GO NO CONTACT NOW - STAY AWAY FROM THE GRAPE VINE, in time it will get easier but for now you need to keep busy and block him
16) Go watch a new tv-series, maybe you can watch an episode a day

There are two great posts on the Help Desk about moving on:
https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...ed-123862.html

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...kup-78597.html

I Want Her Back!

I had recently posted a question on this website, just in case u didn't read it... [I]I dated this girl for 2 and half years and I verbally abused her, without fully realizing it. She broke up with me a month and a half ago. I have tried at least three times since then to get back together with her and I have honestly not given her space. I just found out a week and half ago she has a new boyfriend...already!!!! (They go to separate colleges) I know deep down she still has feelings for me. She told me recently that she is happy and she really likes this guy and that he treats her right, but it has only been a week or two. She has given me a chance to prove myself, to show I can change.....but she said that doesnt mean we are getting back together. For now we are not speaking. So, is this a rebound boyfriend to fill the void in her heart and make her feel better or is she really over me????....I have been doing a lot of thinking and I am willing to do ANYTHING to win this girl back. What can I do?

Your question has been answered over and over hunny.

Give her time! If you keep bothering her she may never speak to you again. If she wants to talk to you, that is her decision, so don't push her.

Continue with therapy. After one year of therapy and a proven track record of not being an abusive such and such maybe she might consider speaking to you again. However I believe that you will in fact never get her back.

I realize I'm obsessed, sorry, I understand why she needs space, but I'm just worried about her new boyfriend... its a non-stop struggle with my emotions, I can't stop thinking about her. I just want her to love me again and if I have to sacrifice time I am more than willing to do that

Its not your problem anymore. You need to get over the fact that she finally grew a backbone and is no longer under your thumb. What's there to worry about with the new boyfriend? She's happy right? Don't you want her to happy?

Of course I want her to be happy and I don't want her to be under my thumb anymore. I don't want to be like that ever again. Im worried about her new boyfriend because she likes him a lot and Im scared its going to turn into a serious relationship. I understand that the odds are not stacked in my favor, but to me its worth it, even if I have to wait for her. I know its not healthy, but I am doing as much as I possibly can to better myself for me and eventually hopefully her. I actually wasn't going to call her what-so-ever, because there is no point, if she wanted me, she would call me. Time will solve all.

Its just scary for me, I have never been through a heartbreak before.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hottrodder246

Its just scary for me, I have never been through a heartbreak before.

Hi hottrodder this is my first heartbreak too and believe me it's rough. I know what you are feeling because my ex left me for someone else and now they live together. And honestly if this website wasn't here I don't know what I would've done. The people here have saved what little sanity I had left after my breakup. Just keep coming back anytime you feel like you're losing it. It helps

Quote:

Originally Posted by MissingHim2Much

Hi hottrodder this is my first heartbreak too and believe me it's rough. I know what you are feeling because my ex left me for someone else and now they live together. And honestly if this website wasn't here I don't know what I would've done. The people here have saved what little sanity I had left after my breakup. Just keep coming back anytime you feel like you're losing it. It helps

Well, I do go insane a lot during the day thinking about her, I know I have to rechannel my thinking in a positive direction. Even if she came back, I don't think it could be the same, I would want it to be, but I don't think that is possible. Im having so much trouble accepting that is she gone because part of me wants to be believe that she might come back and that part of me needs to see the truth. I mean lets look at the facts... she really likes her new boyfriend, I know for a fact that she is happy and not thinking of me, she doesn't even want to speak to me, and even before we broke up she had planned on it. In two or three months nothing will change... they will most likely still be together and me calling and bothering her won't make a difference. I don't want to turn into a stalker. Deep down I am happy for her and I wish her the best of luck with everything. I have to look at like this; nothing will change and if her and I are meant for each other it won't be for another couple years. This hurts more than anything I have ever done in my life, I sometimes find myself short of breath, but this is what I got to do to become a better person.