Wow, dear - what a bad dream!

I hope it will not take you too long to get over this. Investing 7 years really hurts and I wish there was a way to zap it away, but it will take you time.

The last time I went through something similar to this I fed myself with comedy shows to all hours on TV and it did help. I learned that I was not the only one and that I was able to make a joke out of many instances that I remembered.

No matter what you choose as a lever, just try not to dwell on the past too much and look forward to the future - there is one, I promise.

Good luck, and keep us posted.

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Sorry to here that missing I know the pain your going through. BUt I would tell all your friends and son not to mention anything about him, EVER. I asked about my ex about a month and half ago. Worst mistake I made I heard she has someone new. The biggest punch in my face during the breakup was that day. Sometimes it's better not to know what an ex is up too. I learned the hard way.

He is half your age and half your maturity and you may not believe it but a dumb skank is just his speed right now. Don't dwell on what he is doing, or why. Worry about you and your future.

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Originally Posted by talaniman

He is half your age and half your maturity and you may not beleive it but a dumb skank is just his speed right now. Don't dwell on what he is doing, or why. Worry about you and your future.

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Normally talaniman I would agree with you but he is very different. He is acually one of the most mature people I know and this girl represents all the things he hates. She's sleeps around with anyone and everyone and she is really stupid and can't carry on a good conversation among other things. Those are the qualilies or lack there of that he always said totally discusted him.

You talk a lot about how stupid she is and she certainly does sound that way but how stupid is he for hooking up with a girl that has children the courts took from her. I mean you seriously have to be one F-ed up woman for the courts to take custody from you... they just don't do that no matter how great the father is compared to the mother. That is a hugggggggggge red flag to me when I meet a woman that doesn't have custody of her own children.

After 7 years I can't just say quit caring about him but I think why it makes you feel better is because this decision on his part is really, really, truly incredible stupid. There's probably a part that wants to see some revenge and the reality is your getting it and he is helping give you that revenge by doing this to himself and you don't have to do anything.

After 7 years I can't just say quit caring about him but I think why it makes you feel better is because this decision on his part is really, really, truly incredible stupid. There's probably a part that wants to see some revenge and the reality is your getting it and he is helping give you that revenge by doing this to himself and you don't have to do anything.[/QUOTE]

Your right about that Chuff. I kind of do want revenge because he hurt me. But I also think this is the fastest way for him to see just exactly what he gave up... its human nature to compare new with the old and she can make him see there is no comparison. And who is better for him.

I'm totally guessing here, giving what I would feel if I were in your shoes.

You could be getting a little satisfaction from knowing that you are way better than this other woman he is getting himself involved with.
Could be that you can foresee the events that will take place leading him to no where.

The grass isn't always greener on the other side;)
And he will soon find that out...
If it were me, I'd be chuckling under my breath too.

Shame on me:D

Right on akaetrue. I think you hit that one dead on... Thanks

Hi, sorrry to hear about yr situation... im going through some things also, read my posts.. exspecialy my last one, found out the ex (we ended 6 weeks ago) total of 12 yrs, is seeing a bisexual, 3 yr recovering drug addict, and is moving in with her after 5-6 weeks!
Also know she slept around quite a bit with a lot of drug users... scary!! lol.but the last 3 yrs I guess has been OK.

I know how you feel, I asked kind of the same question yesterday. They are so opposite, that is why we are so shocked. Its so confusing and hurts a lot too, I know.

In my opinion it seems he is going on the road to self-destruction.
You say that 'she' is everything he hates. He left a good 7 year relationship.
Could he be doing drugs, have a disease or tumor, received some really bad news that he cannot handle... Maybe his plate is stuffed with so much crap that he is dwelling in trash on purpose.
People don't give up the good and go for the bad without a reason - you are not that reason or he would have told you. And, whatever it is, he is not willing or able at present to share it with anyone - hence - spending time with a 'brainless' warm body.
Unless and until he gets his life back to 'normal' don't let him drag you down to his level.

Yeah, life sucks, but it should not stop you from setting new goals and achieving them.

Good luck dear.

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Thanks hair I feel your pain... I was told by a few people that he chose this girl so nothing about her would remind him of me. That must mean he's having to try pretty hard not to think about me... TRUE?

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Originally Posted by Chery

In my opinion it seems he is going on the road to self-destruction.
You say that 'she' is everything he hates. He left a good 7 year relationship.
Could he be doing drugs, have a disease or tumor, received some really bad news that he cannot handle.... Maybe his plate is stuffed with so much crap that he is dwelling in trash on purpose.
People don't give up the good and go for the bad without a reason - you are not that reason or he would have told you. And, whatever it is, he is not willing or able at present to share it with anyone - hence - spending time with a 'brainless' warm body.
Unless and until he gets his life back to 'normal' don't let him drag you down to his level.

yeah, life sucks, but it should not stop you from setting new goals and achieving them.

Good luck dear.

http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/15/15_9_16.gif

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Wow Chery that's exactly what I told my family... I said he seems like he has a brain tumor because this is so out of character for him and it was so sudden

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Originally Posted by MissingHim2Much

thanks hair I feel your pain...I was told by a few people that he chose this girl so nothing about her would remind him of me. That must mean he's having to try pretty hard not to think about me...TRUE?

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Hi, not quite sure of the answer to that... I want to believe that for you and me, but then I say why the hell did they want someone else to begin with... my situation of course a little different, I was married then divorced to him, but always stayed together on and off because of him, so I say if we had all those chances and he messed up AND ended up with someone like her it blows my mind.. again, I don't want to blow my own horn, but I have never been down the road she has, not to say she isn't a nice person now, but I personaly would never be with someone with or had so many hangups.

In yr case too she is or sounds like a real loser, she has children and she is a mother so she is no good to live the way she does. And for him to be with that is crazy, you know that won't last and he will be back knocking on yr door, just be careful, with all the sh!t out there you can catch in general with someone is enough, but when you put yr self with a person who lived or lives like that you up yr chances big time!!

For whatever reason your exes are gone, you both should look at it as a chance to find your own happiness. Much luck to you both.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by talaniman

For whatever reason your exes are gone, you both should look at it as a chance to find your own happiness. Much luck to you both.

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I agree talaniman. Its just all so fresh and the pain is still so raw, but I'm taken it day by day and I don't contact him so that helps also. Thanks

Quote:

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Originally Posted by talaniman

For whatever reason your exes are gone, you both should look at it as a chance to find your own happiness. Much luck to you both.

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Thanks tal ( ;

My boyfriend and I have been brokeup for 3 weeks now and I feel like I'm totally losing touch with realily. I just can't get my mind right. I am constantly playing all of these senerios over in my head. I think he's going to call and beg me to let him come home. The next minute I'm thinking he's going to show up a my work and say he wants me back. I play these over and over and over and over. My God am I completely insane. He said he wasn't coming back and he's made no attempt to contact me so why the hell can't I get a grip on reality?

Start here:
https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...sh-114179.html

Then answer these:

1) how old are you?
2) how long did you go out?
3) is this your first break?
4) what did you fight/disagree about...

You WILL get your sanity back...

It's not EZ - but getting a reality check will help you get started.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Ash123

Start here:
https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...sh-114179.html

Then answer these:

1) how old are you?
2) how long did you go out?
3) is this your first break?
4) what did you fight/disagree about...

you WILL get your sanity back...

it's not EZ - but getting a reality check will help you get started.

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1. I'm 43 he's 25
2. we lived together for 7 yrs
3. this is our first break
4. I can't really remember why we were arguing it wasn't even a big fight.. we had a wonderful relationship and rarely ever even disagreed

43 and 25.

That's a risky one...

Still, First breaks always need further closure.
That said, it sounds like you were one of his first girlfriends and he just may need a
Little time to see if this is it. Sorry.