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-   -   Whys he keep letting me down (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=113302)

  • Oct 1, 2007, 12:24 PM
    xxsamxx110
    Yes it is the same guy. Wel the 'friend' is out of the picture now. He is also having driving lessons so he can c me more and having counselling. Thts what I want 2 know if he really has realsed that he wants to be with me and is madly in love with me like he said.
  • Oct 1, 2007, 06:37 PM
    talaniman
    Only time can tell if he is ready to do as he says, and it would be wise to go slow, and keep your emotions and expectations, realistic.
  • Oct 1, 2007, 11:42 PM
    xxsamxx110
    Yeah I will take it slow. Don't really know what else to do or whether I should say we are a couple or not.
  • Oct 2, 2007, 03:22 AM
    talaniman
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by xxsamxx110
    yeh i will take it slow. dont really know what else to do or whether i should say we are a couple or not.

    Definitely not, that's what going slow, and paying attention is about. Check him and his actions out, before you invest your heart and emotions. Examine what he says, and what he does.
  • Oct 31, 2007, 02:12 PM
    xxsamxx110
    is he just out to hurt me?
    OK. Well if you've read my other posts you will see the history. Basically its been one thing after another. He split with me in September and within two weeks was hinting that he wanted to get back with me. I didn't read it like that and thought he was happy to be rid of me. Anyway the week after he told me that he missed me and wanted me back, that he would put 110% into it etc anyway I fell for it and went to see him. It was awkward but OK and seemed to be getting on better. Only thing is I didn't actually say we were back together. Well I asked him after a week if we were actually together. He replied that he thought so. I said OK thinking we were working things out. Then he suggested we 'just see how things go'. This didn't please me and after I asked why all he said was that he couldn't commit to be at that time and didn't want to hurt me again. I just left it at that. We saw each other the next week as we went bowling. Then randomly talking online and he just said it isn't working and its over and went offline. Well that was the Sunday and he was meant to be staying at mine the following week. Obviously didn't happen. He stayed at his brothers and was out drinking most of the time. I had to find this out from the same 'friend' that was and still is interferring. This week he decided to speak to me. We have not mentioned the split or anything. One minute he is OK hun, kisses, hugs etc and next he's cutting me off and putting titles such as ' I believe dreams come true, one just has, kelly, kelly, kelly' and has put a display picture of him with his arm around another lass. Its only been about 10 days. Whys he acting like before one minute then putting things like that? Or is he out to hurt me? Any ideas why he is doing this and what should I do. No contact isn't good for me but I do make sure he is the one to make contact. Do you think he has seriously moved on and if so why would he put it in my face like that? Any suggests much appriciated.
  • Sep 1, 2008, 01:25 PM
    xxsamxx110
    Ex boyfriend came to see me after 9 month no contact now confused.
    OK. Well its been awhile since I last posted anything. My ex broke up with me about 9-10 month ago. I was hurt and fed up. I've had a lot going wrong and I've struggled to keep going. Anyway as the months have gone on I've got on with it and been OK. Just the occasional upset and that. I didn't contact him etc. he started talking to me or leaving messages not saying much.
    Yesterday he was talking to me online. As we started talking he said things like:
    Me and girlfriend on verge of splitting up I wished to god I never got with her honestly
    He says: I hate her so much
    XxSAMxx says: that's not nice
    He says: she's so spoilt
    Batman says: well she's not nice

    He asked how my love life is. Which I don't have.
    He then went on to say:
    U know what if you would of been a bit more cheerie we would of lasted forever
    XxSAMxx says: so you say
    He says: we should have stayed together and let me change you lol
    XxSAMxx says: lol I needed things to change for me. Bit happier now. Things are settling down.
    He says: yea was a mad time for u
    XxSAMxx says: yeah not great time
    He says: I was foolish and thinking back rather selfish
    XxSAMxx says: I no lol
    He says: I wanted more fun and stuff while you was worrying about work, getting a house, your mum, your dad
    He says: thinking about it
    He says: I'm a complete d*** head

    After talking a bit longer he told me he missed me loads and about his little lad. He said it would be nice if could see him some time and maybe see me just as friends. As I know what you think of me in other ways lol anyway he went on to asking about coming over to see me. In the end he decided to and set off. He got to mine and we were talking as mates, catching up, he told me how he's stopped smoking like I wanted him to and he doesn't have panic attacks and he's going to college and got a job. Telling me about him passing his test and getting a car, the one he came in. etc.

    As we were sat on my bed watching as film he started getting closer, touching my hand, then holding my fingers and holding my hand and eventually asked for a hug. We were hugging for a while but he never let go. In fact the opposite. Anyway he started kissing my cheek which I didn't return. He tried to get me to kiss him back but as I wasn't looking at him it didn't work. He actually ended up asking if he could have a kiss. Which I said no to.

    I'm really torn now. I no he has a girlfriend and its wrong. I will always have feeling for him but I don't know what to think know. After he left he apologized for cuddling etc and I've heard nothing since. I'm so confused.

    Am I in the wrong and do you think I'm just someone for him to fall back on if it doesn't work with his girlfriend?
    Sorry its so long.
  • Sep 1, 2008, 01:30 PM
    hjpan
    Alright.. BACK UP!

    Why are YOU TALKING TO HIM?! JUST WHY???

    You cut ties for 9-10months and that fool pops up, 8itching like a poor person about the other girlfriend. Then, he tries to get down with you? WHAT THE FU*K??

    Leave that fool out of your life. He's a useless trash.

    Spoiled? So what?
  • Sep 1, 2008, 02:16 PM
    0rphan
    He wants the penny and the bun... leave him alone he will just use you, hence the trying it on, don't fall for it.

    The fact that he is running his current girl friend down behind her back and then going home to her bed should tell you something... he's a creep... you can do with out especially since you say your getting it together a bit, he'll just drag you right down again, don't let it happen, you'll find someone new to love without the baggage, who will treat you with respect and love you for you, don't settle for second best...
  • Sep 1, 2008, 11:42 PM
    talaniman
    Your actually falling for that crap??
  • Sep 2, 2008, 06:42 AM
    Romefalls19
    He's horny and was trying to find some warmth... AVOID!
  • Sep 3, 2008, 04:45 PM
    Jess-the-mess
    LOL hjpan u speak the utter truth!

    AVOID HIM!

    Xoxox

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